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So this isn't the tribe killing people???
And it seems Khushi knows more that she's showing. But how? and why is she hiding it?
--- Criminal Minds
It isn't easy for me to initiate small talk. I am comfortable in silence unlike most people. I am however unsure if Khushi belonged to the other category. I look at her sideways and see that she is lost in her own thoughts. She doesn't turn around to question my inquiring gaze.
"What keeps you awake at night?" Knuckles tighten around steering wheel. They almost turn white. It's an uncomfortable territory and my association with her is only recent. I am unaware at what point she picked on the fact that I was an insomniac.
As if she was tuned into my thoughts, she added for good measure. "You have haunted eyes Arnav Raizada." I turn and stare at her openly. She is looking at me as if she was waiting for my eyes to fall on her for a long time. She smiled a little. "I picked that based on your interaction with Shukla." When she sees me let out a breath of relief, she smiles smugly.
"Insomnia," I rasp out. My smile is thin and tiredness makes home behind my eye lids.
"Don't you takeā¦medication?" She asks delicately. She doesn't openly ask me if I don't sedate myself.
I shake my head. "I prefer sleeping when sleep comes to me. I don't find it necessary to force body to do something it doesn't want to." I say honestly.
She hums lazily and looks out the window. She mimics my action from early evening, her forearm resting on rolled down window and her chin resting on that forearm. Wind tousled her hair and she closed her eyes.
I didn't look at her to gauge her reaction when I took a longer route to the university. She caught on it immediately but didn't say anything for a while. I wasn't simply taking a long route but driving us out of the city.
"The trees are beautiful under moonlight." She comments as the car slices through densely foliated empty road. The area hadn't fallen into the radar of builders and contractors thus the bold exclamation of nature in these parts of the city's outskirts. I maintain a fair speed and roll down my window too.
"My brother-in-law showed me this route. When my older sister was pregnant they used to go on drives and this one sort of stuck with me. The roads are great due to a falsified rumor about a township coming up in these parts. The plans fell flat but the roads stayed. Not many people come here anymore." I am not sure what's making me talk and give away too much of information about my private life. I swallow and clamp my mouth shut before I start sharing every damn detail about my life. She has the kind of calming presence which makes you lose your inhibition. Right, blame it on the girl. Moron. My mind admonishes.
"It must be nice to live in a family." She sighs softly. I do not want to question her so I keep quiet and lower the car speed. "I am an only child and my parents died when I was young. My foster parents were my parents' friends thus it was a little easier to cope with their deaths."
"I am sorry to hear that." My voice is raspy again. I have a need to hydrate my body. Mixed with insomnia, dehydration ended up being my worst enemy. "Do you mind if I stop for few minutes? I am parched." I ask her. Neon green lights blink on dashboard - 22:47. It is late and I don't want to keep her away from her sleep.
"It would be good actually. I am sort of hungry again." She replies sheepishly. I swallow a smile and nod.
She throws her hand out from the window and smiles wanly when wind hits her palm. There aren't streetlights to distract the view. The darkness is eerie but it has always been a lonely being. Just like me. For the first time in weeks I don't feel the urge to smoke or pop in a Nicorette to stomp on that urge. In fact this little thing has completely escaped my mind. The thought is pleasant and I turn to look at my silent companion. She has turned her head towards me and watching me intently. Her eyes are unnerving and I turn my head back to keep my eyes stamped on the road.
"It isn't fair." I tell her easily. Moon plays hide and seek with us using trees as its personal hiding ground. She doesn't blink, I see. Just cocks her head as if to ask 'Why' "You get to observe me unhindered while I am at a disadvantage." This wasn't flirting. I know. She knows. Or maybe we are both lying about being indifferent to this while we aren't. No, not really.
She flusters. I cannot see if she is blushing or not but my money is on 'not'. She wasn't the blushing kind, I could see it. But I don't think she expected me to call out on her so openly. She doesn't stop looking at me. But after two whole minutes, she sits up straight and rests her head on headrest.
"Stop the car." The order in her words is a battle command. My nerve endings hum in response and I invariably smile. She smiles suddenly and motions me to pull over. I comply. I look at her and raise an eyebrow asking her 'What now?' With a fleeting enigmatic smile, she hopped out of the car and jogged towards my door ā the driver's seat. She opened the door and made an overtly dramatized gesture by bending her back forward, a hundred watt fake grin and her left hand waving me to come out. I chuckle at her theatrics but am complacent of her request.
She slips into newly emptied driver's seat and taps on steering wheel expectantly. I shake my head and walk towards passenger seat sliding in half a moment later.
"You wanted to drive?" I ask, the question unknowingly escaping my mouth. Once the words are out there I realize how stupid they sound.
"No. You didn't want to drive." I cannot help but stare at the woman next to me. Shukla classifies me as one of the rare breed of men who don't like cars, driving or fast lanes. But times like theseā¦I didn't mind. I want to tell her that but I hold my tongue.
There is no need for pretending. There is no need to showcase my charm. I just let it be.
"How long have you had insomnia?" She asks. Her words pierce the new found silence in the car but shatter the noise in my head. I wish I could have both.
"I was nine when it first started. A child of that change not able to sleep was practically unheard of. Most people get chronic insomnia in much later stages of their lives." I chuckle mirthlessly. She doesn't say anything immediately but keeps her eyes on the road and nods serenely. I have spent most part of my life staring at abyss and not blinking. Noises of the dark no longer troubled me, unlike the voices of day. The life under stars and moon was much different.
"You aren't most people." She gives me a fleeting look and turns back to face the road. It's only few kilometers since she started to drive when she stops at a small roadside tea stall. She stops me from getting out placing her palm on my forehand and pressing it gently. I swallow and lean back in my seat. She is back five minutes later with a bottle of water and a tall paper cup. She hands me the cup and smiles.
"Drink," She commands again. I take a sip and sigh in contentment. It's hot milk with a hint of cardamom and turmeric. She takes a sip of water and straps the seat belt. She doesn't wait for me to finish my drink but the slower speed of the car tells me that she doesn't want me to spill milk all over the place. I crumple the paper cup and toss it in the cup holder. The car quietly speeds on lonely street going farther away from the city and into the wilderness. I don't know where she is taking me. She starts humming a tune I cannot recognize. My eyes flutter when wind picks up the pace. And then I feel it. Her left palm covers my eyes and stays that way for seconds. A part of me wants to shrug her hand off me but the exhausted part welcomes the coolness of her palm.
I feel her removing her palm away from my eyes but my eyes remain closed. Her humming is louder than before and it adds lull to the atmosphere. For a moment I open my eyes to look at her and see her smiling gently, her eyes on the road and humming a song I've never heard before.
The lull is heavier than before and tension, tiredness, exhaustion slowly leaves my body. My eyes are heavier like I have ever felt before and I when I am in the horizon of dream and reality, I realize that I must be sleeping. All thoughts escape my mind and I surrender to the calling darkness.
I dream about symbols, warm milk, woman with silver hair, ravines, trees with golden leaves and a war. The randomness is ridiculous. I open my eyes and find darkness around me. The clock on dashboard blinks lazily: 06:17. Memories flood when I realize that I am still in car. AC is on which meansā¦I turn around and look at backseat. Khushi is sitting in backseat with her eyes closed. I am not sure if she is sleeping or awake. I jump slightly when she suddenly opens her eyes.
"Good morning." She says with a smile. My shuffling around the seat must have woken her.
"Why didn't you wake me?" I ask, embarrassed. I am not a chauvinist but I am a gentleman.
"Your sleep was sound and deep and I didn't have a heart to wake you up." She says simply.
"Where are we exactly?" I ask and exit the car. My legs are shaky after sitting for so long and they needed to be stretched immediately. As soon as I got out, I found my answer. We were in a basement parking lot.
"University parking lot," she says climbing out of the car. "I knew you would wake up soon." She added. I look at her questioningly. "Every time I stopped the car, you got uncomfortable as if your body was protesting against stopping. And as soon as I resumed driving, you fell back to slumber. So I kept driving." She shrugs.
"Why?" I ask her. Every other thing at this moment is unimportant besides the answer.
She shrugs and chews her lips before she responds. "I don't know. I just couldn't bear seeing your eyes haunted again, I suppose." I don't know if she was trying to be nice or charming or extremely kind. But her answer was simplistic. Before I could say anything she continued. "This case isn't going to be easy on you. If your haunch is indeed correct thenā¦" She didn't finish.
"What then, Khushi?" I asked hoping against hope she wouldn't say the thing I was dreading.
"Then we are already in middle of war." She smiles sadly. I do not understand how she arrived at same conclusion as I. It was still in my mind and was in my dream. How she knew ā I don't know.
"I'll come by station tomorrow with additional findings. Is that okay?" She asks stopping after taking several steps towards exit.
I nod. I don't say anything but wave her a goodbye. I don't find it necessary to thank her for her kindness. I know that she isn't expecting either.
Because we both know that my insomnia is about to get worse.It is unusual how two people who have just met seem so attuned to each other, it doesn't even take time or effort for them to trust one another. It is beyond compassion, its like she just knowsā¦ Like they themselves have no control over their actions when they are together. Weird.
A nine year old with chronic insomnia? Oh god! Is there more to this? I still remember Anjali and the fact that there is some trauma she is dealing with.
Would love to get into Khushi's head sometimes. Want to know how it works, all the things she is hiding.
It is so odd that sleep eludes the ONE man who needs the escape she provides the most. Arnav.
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