Posted:
Biwi... yeh acid, zeher aur drugs ka mixture hai.. pee lo"
"
Biwi tumare paas 2 options hai...option 1. chup chap dawai le lo...option 2. chup chap dawai le lo"
Jab tak tumhare seene mein dil hai, tum RK nahi ban sakti"
Na biwi na...Abhi tak tumne itne ache kaam nahi kiye ki RK tumhe INAAM mein KISS kare"
"Shaadi se pehle kyun nahin bataya ki aadhi raat ko tumhein Pagalpan ke daure padte hai"
"Ab humein Superwomen Madhubala bachayegi...Biwi mujh par ek ehsaan karo, aur hume yaha se bahar nikalwa do...mujhe bacha lo"
"Khilona ho tum mera...aur main apne khilone ko tut te hue kaise dhekh sakta hoon Biwi?"
"Mujhe patti karne do BIWI..,agar infection ho gaya to mujhe apne favourite khilone ka per kaatna padega"
ahh!...jubaan kat gayi...Baddua di ya kaala jaadu janti ho?"
"Mere muskurane ki do wajah hai...wajah nmbr 1 - main muskurata hua bahut aacha dikhta hun...aur wajah nmbr 2 - ab tumse koi bhi baat manwana kitna aasaan ho gaya hai...warna wo pehle wali Madhubala ufff...uski to baat hi kuch aur thi"
ye bed dekha hai kitna bada hai...is bed par itni jagah hai ki hum dono ke beech ek choti car park ho jaaye, agar tum phail kar na so toh"
"Kya hua biwi? koi Darawana sapna dekha kya?...sapne mein main aaya tha kya?"
"Naah...tum ye kabhi nahi karogi biwi...balki tumhara bas chale to tum hafte mein teen din mere liye vrat rakho...meri lambi umar ke liye
"Muddai Laakh Bura Chahe To Kya Hota Hai?...Wahi Hota Hai Jo Manzoore RK Hota Hai"
"Aap lambi aur ghehri saas le...aur kripya mujhe bataye ki kyo aapne apne damaad...sorry correction...Apne beti ke suhaag ko ujadna chaha?"
"Yadi ek awaaz aur aap jail ki salakhon ke peeche honge kurta aur aadhi nikkar pehene chakki peesing and peesing and peesing"
"Biwi, agar tumhe shant murti bankar rehna hai toh mujhe bata do, hall me jo bhi kona tumhara fav hoga, wahan table lagwa dunga, khadi ho jana wahan boot bankar"
"Suraj se pucho usmein aag kyun hain, sangeet se pucho usmein Raag kyun hain aur Chand se pucho usmein daag kyun hain...main uss mitti ka bana hoon jo ek taraf sukhi hai and dusri taraf geeli"
"Parde par bhi main, Parde ke bahar bhi main...Deewana kar dene ki hadd honi chahiye...hai na?"
"Haan kuch baat hai, nahi toh hum dono chamkadar toh hai nahi ki raat ko bhatkenge"
Kaisa lagega Sasurji jab log apki beti se "Papa kaise hai?" iske badle ye puchenge, "Papa pakde gaye?"
"Ek beti ko kitchen mein chaku se tamatar kaat ta hua baap achha lag sakta hai par kisi ka gala kaat ta hua nahi"
"Ruko...Bhabhi ji ko bhi saath le kar jao neeche...inse sukh-dukh ki baatein karo, tv dikhao inhe...kyonki is ghar mein inka time paas nahi ho raha hai"
Jaanti ho mujhe aakhiri baar sshhh kab kiya gaya tha?...jab main senior KG mein tha"
Biwi...biwi mujhe subah se bahut hichkiya aa rahi hai...Bittu G ne mujhse kaha mujhe koi bahut buri tarah se yaad kar raha hai...main ye kehne ke liye phone karne hi wala tha tumhe ki mujhe yaad karna band kar do...kyonki mera aur hichkiya lene ka bilkul mood nahi hai"
"Arey kya hua biwi, tum chup kyon ho?...biwi itna chup to tum apni neend mein bhi nahi rehti"
Tum pichle janam mein chemist thi kya jo hamesha dawaiyon ke peeche padi rehti ho"
"Biwi main kisi jungle mein kisi gufa ke andar nahi rehta...jo mera dhyaan rakhne ke liye koi na ho...tumhe do din ki chhuti mili hai tum apni chhutiyan enjoy karo...aur mujhe miss karna band karo
Biwi kitni Talented ho tum...itni dur baith kar bhi mujhe irritate kar rahi ho"
"Biwi Saasu maa ko phone do taaki main unhe ye keh du ki wo tumhe loori suna kar sula de...aur tum mera peechha chhodo
"Biwi main tumhe bahut miss kar raha hu...Agar aisa tumhe lagta hai to tum galat ho...Koi tumhe miss nahi kar raha"
Kis cheez mein aagay ho? besharmi mein?...na tum mere liye ho aur na main tumhare liye...haan wo darwaza zarur hum dono ke liye hai jisse tum bahar jaogi aur tumhre jaane ke baad main band karunga"
"Bittu G kisi kaam se mujhe yaad kar rahe the ya bahot zor se meri yaad aayi?"
"Great! bahut achi investigation ki hai aapne...kya naam hai aapka? N.K. Pandit...RK apni agli film mein apna naam yehi rakhega...ye inaam kaafi hoga aapke liye?...ab finally is case ko band kar diya jaaye"
Shamsher Malik urf Sasur ji...main jaanta hu aap mujhe pasand nahi karte...waise aapko dekh kar mera dil ki koi bhari nahi ho padta hai...to phir ye maafi ehsaan jaise dialogs mat boliye...character ko suit nahi karta"
"Biwi mere kamre mein jao...BIWI...Sidiyon se chadhkar upar right mein kamra pehla mera hai...Knock karne ki zarurat nahi hai kyonki main yaha hu...Biwi tumhe kamre mein jaana hoga kyonki kamra neeche chal kar nahi ayega...Maine kaha JAO!'
"Do baatein kehni thi...Pehli - main abhi poori tarah se theek nahi hua hu, mujhe rest ki aur zarurat hai...Isliye kripya karke bakwaas band kar di jaaye...Dusri baat - Dipali ye bag uthao aur poore National Honour ke saath mere kamre mein rakh kar aao"
"Galat dialog, laash bag utha hi nahi sakti...Tumhe khud zinda rehte huye is bag ko mere kamre mein rakh kar aana hoga...Aur khabardaar jo kisi naukar se kaha, Zinda hi is ghar se bahar phek di jaogi"
"Is that clear...Junior Bhatia, Mrs. Junior Bhatia, Mr Senior Bhatia...Good!...Mrs Junior Hhatia! Bag! Fast"
"Haan agar meri shirt ke liye keh rahi ho toh...isay bechne wale ne kaha tha isay hafte mein ek baar aansuon se dhona...iski shine iski chamak bahi rahegi...so Thankyou"
"Aasmaan neela kyon hai? Gulaab mein khushboo kyon hai? Aur tumhari in aankhon mein gandi si ghinauni si chamak kyon hai? Hai koi jawaab? Nahi...Tumhe tumhare sawaal ka jawaab mil chuka hai ki kuch sawaalon ke jawaab nahi hote"
Tum dawai ka peecha nahi chodogi, hai na?...Kya naam du main tumhe? Meri Chemical Wife"
Bittu G main koi khoobsurat painting to hu nahi jo aap mujhe aise ghoore ja rahe hai"
Aapse kisne kaha...kisne kaha aapse Bittu G ki aapka muh chota hai..Aapka muh to bahut bada hai...jisse aap Madhu ke baare mein koi badi si baat kehne ke liye utawale ho rahe hai"
"Bittu G agar wo mujhe maarna bhi chahegi to itna ghuma phira ke nahi...samne ayegi, mere aankhon ke samne gun load karegi...meri aankhon mein aakhein daal kar gun uthayegi, fire karegi...Haan wo baat alag hai ki uska nishana kaisa hoga...Nishana maathe par hoga par ched kaan mein hogi"
"Ye Bhatia Group of Badmash Company keechad hi aisa hai..Thodi der iske aas paas reh lo to apne kapde bhi maile lag jaane lagte hai"
"Aap sab se guzarish hai...Guzarish ki spelling hai O.R.D.E.R."
Biwi bahut hi filmy dialog tha...Jaan abhi bhi dard ho raha hai?...khuda kare tumhare saare dard mujhe mil jaaye"
Ghatiya? Hello? isko dark humour kehte hai...Kuch mazaak haste-haste jaan le lete hai, Aur kuch jaan lene ke baad hasate hai"
"Galey mein abhi bhi kuch problem hai...Kahi peeli daal mein peela zahar to nahi mila diya?"
"Wo chota chuha, cockroach aur tum sab, mere paiso par kuch ajnabi insaan kuch directly ya indirectly is ghar mein pal rahe hai...iske alawa main bas ek aur insaan ko jaanta hu - mujhe janam dene wali aurat aur tum sab uski badi si galti se paida hua kachra ho jo is ghar ki hawa mein badboo faila raha hai"
Biwi...Kem chho? Maza ma chho? Tussi theek ho ji? Tua beya?...Biwi chaar alag alag bhashaon mein pooch chuka hu ye paanchvi hai - Tum theek ho?...Aaj jawaab dogi? Nahi?
"Biwi main koi baarish mein Bheegta Kamzor Cute sa Puppy nahi hu jise aise hamdardi se deh rahi ho"
"Kya hai ye?...Bittu G aisa to 90's ki filmo mein hota tha - Kya Hai Tumhari Keemat Batao...Bolo...Bas fark itna hai ki yaha Blank Cheques nahi phat rahe"
"Sasuma..namashkaar...Bade dukh ki baat hai ki aapka swagat bahut dramatic tha...Sasuma chaliye...main aapke liye invitation card nahi chhapwaunga...Aur aap to ye samjh hi gayi hongi ki mera bada sa DUKHI parivaar aapki beti ke khilaaf ho gaya hai"
"Theek hai main khush hu ki tum hasti rehti ho...Agat kisi wajah se hans rahi ho to theek hai par agar bina kisi wajah ke hans rahi ho to ghar jaate waqt raaste mein Dr. Mathur ka Clinic hai - Psychiatrist - milti jaana"
"Tum phir hans rahi ho...Tumko kisi ne dhamki hai ki agar hasna band kar dogi to oot pe bitha kar nadi mein chhod di jaogi...Oot tumhe doobne nahi dega aur nadi tumhe neeche nahi utarne degi"
"Jahan tak main jaanta hu Patil ka sense of humour itna acha nahi hai ki wo tumhe joke sunaye aur tum der tak us joke ko yaad kar ke hasti raho"
"Kal yaha karwa chauth hoga aur waha upar bhagwaan ke yaha comedy film...Bhagwaan bhi dekh kar haste honge, sochte honge mere hi banaye huye insaan mere hi samne kitne confidence se jhooth bolte hai"
Main bina contract ke bhi tumhari bhalayi ke liye tumhe samjha sakta hu ki bina baat ke hasna band karo...nahi to naukar kal se apne baccho ko le kar ayenge aur kehenge - aao beta aao, tumhe ek pagal dikhaye"
Tum...phir hans rahi ho?...main kyo pagal ho raha hu? DEMOcracy hai!...koi bhi yaha pagal hone ke DEMO kabhi bhi de sakta hai"
Mujhe neend pe chalni ki bemari hain, dekho mein abhi bhi so raha hoon"
Biwi dekho ...main bhi Chaand ban gaya hoon, Mere gaal par bhi ek daag aa gaya hai"
"Chaliye *clap clap* PARDA DOWN! Showtime Over! Have a Bad Night and Bad Dreams...bahar jaane ka raaste aagay se left hai...thankyou aap log ja sakte hai"
"Kukku Bhatia and Performing Arts Nautanki Gang"
"Bittu G...jaiye aur meri trophies lekar aiyey aur unse inhe puraskrit kijiye - best mother, best actress in supporting role, best bhavuk personality...inke nautanki inhe itne award jitwayegi"
"Biwi maine bahut high standards set kiye hai...ajeeb aur atarangi hone ke...thankyou?"
"Agar aapne shooting shuru nahi ki to agle 15 dino tak aap chaand ka nahi, Mere darshan karne ka intezar karenge"
"Biwi, tum jaanti ho main tumhe zabardasti pilaane ka paagalpan aur taaqat dono rakhta hu"
"Biwi tum yun ajeeb si bohut interesting lagti ho... lekin is waqt tum ajeeb si ki maa bani hui ho... jo mujhe bilkul achcha nahi lag raha"
"Haath..naye lagwaye hain? aise chhupa kyu rahi ho?...Biwi ek baat batao...tum abhi abhi aisi huyi ho ya ye manufacturing defect hai?"
"Macchar? bahut hi artistic machar maloom hota hai...kaata kum hai aur paint zyada kiya hai mere gaal pe"
"Kyon? Tum nayi maa le kar aayi ho kya? Purani wali se to main mil chuka hu"
"Biwi ab jab tum RK ko jhel chuki ho...to ye Kanjama ki aatma kya cheez hai?"
"Wo jo...studio mein jo hua...mujhe lagta hai ki...pakka nahi par mujhe aisa lagta hai ki...main sahi tha...wo...wo Kanjama ki aatma thi"
"Ya to tum bol lo ya to main bol leta hu...dono bolenge to sunega kaun?...aur phir sunne ke liye Bittu G ko bulana padega"
"Madhu tumhe pata hai...jab bhi tum muskurati ho to aisa lagta hai ki...tum confused ho...Tumhe bhi pata nahi ki tum muskura kyo rahi ho"
"Pati matlab main...Paremeshwar matlab Bhagwan...ab main 'oh God' ki jagah 'oh Me' kehne lagunga"
"Big boss chahte hai ki Madhu apne soojhe huye muh se thodi sujan kum kare aur RK se baat kare...khamosh...roothi rothi si Madhu RK yani ki big boss ko pasand nahi"
"Khair is Saas-Bahu ke high TRP drama ko yehi rokna hoga"
"Waah! Meri Patni sabse nirali, subah se iska peat sirf mere liye khali"
"Insaan? Biwi, tum bhool gayi ho, tumhari kismat mein toh SHAITAAN hai"
"Dear RK? Biwi, agar kuch ajeeb sa hi likhna hai toh Pai Lagun RK likho"
"Biwi aise kyon harbada rahi ho jaise kisi ka khoon kar diya ho...aur laash chhupana bhool gayi ho"
"Par tum Seema ji ki Fruits bhari hat pehenkar bahot hi interesting vegetarian lagogi"
"Biwi agar zyada hasogi to tumhara naam Madhubala se change kar ke Madhulisa rakh dunga"
"Biwi tumse kisi ne kaha hai kya ki mujhe ghoorti rahogi to tumhari aankhon ki roshni tez ho jayegi?"
"Bittu G ja kar dekhiye ki wo bijli ka khambha jo bahar khada tha wo abhi bhi waha hai ya chori ho gaya"
"Na Sasur ji...Na...Mera personal experience ye kehta hai ki aurato ko unki emotional lines bolte waqt tokna nahi chahiye...nahi to wo ek baar phir aapko SHURUAAT se sab kuch sunayegi...especially iss ghar ki aurate"
"Biwi! Me too...I Love...Me"
"Waise mujhse recently kisi ne kaha hai ki jo kaho wo khud bhi karo...Tumne wo dialog sirf TRP badhane ke liye bola tha?"
"Biwi din bhar mein tum jitne aansu baha deti ho utni to Rajasthan mein saal bhar mein bhi barish nahi hoti...Kaise manage karti ho?"
"Biwi din bhar mein tum jitne aansu baha deti ho utni to Rajasthan mein saal bhar mein bhi barish nahi hoti...Kaise manage karti ho?"
"Ab ek khoobsurat si love story likhi jayegi...Padhna zarur, Dekhna zarur - RK KI LOVE STORY!"
"Yehi to baat hai biwi...RK kabhi acha nahi ho sakta kyonki acha hona RK ke standard mein hi nahi hai...kyonki RK Best hai aur rahega"
"Kya hua biwi...Shirt ke button khulte hi dhadkanein tez hone lagti hai? Jab RK screen pe shirt utarta hai to ladkiyon ke aankhon mein taare chamakne lagte hai, bikhar si jaati hai wo"
"Agar govt rone pe Tax laga de to tum to hamara ghar ek mahine mein bikwa dogi"
"Main jaanta hu mujhe Cinema se pyaar hai...Maine ye industry paisa ya shohrat kamane ke liye nahi chuni, main bhagna chahta tha...apne ateet se bhagna chahta tha, pyaar paane ke liye...phir chahe wo kisi bhi roop mein ho, Fans ka hi sahi..."
"Kaala akshar Dipali barabar"
"Biwi remote kaam nahin kar raha hai...Rewind button kaam nahin kar raha hai...Mute button kaam nahin kar raha hai...Exit button kaam nahin kar raha hai"
"Naam badal lo...Aaj se tumhara naam Madhu hai...Mathur sahab...aap naam badalenge ya heroine?..kal tak soch kar bata dijiyega...PACKUP!"
"Bittu G ye Whisky hai, ishq se kum Risky hai...ishq to jeete ji maarta hai aur ye ek hi baar mein"
"Tumhi meri Chahat ho, Tumhi mera Dhadkan...Tumhi mera Ishq ho aur Tumhi mera Junoon"
"Main Aag toh tum bhi aag , Main tufaan toh tum bhi kum nahi, Main pagal aur tum mujhse badi pagal...aur is sab ke bawajood mein tum se pagalo ki tarah pyaar karta hu"
"Meri dadi kaha karti thi - Chor ko nazar aate hai sab chor...badi decent aurat thi...par ye kabhi nahi kaha unhone - Kameeno ko nazar aate hai sab kameene"
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Bigg Boss 19
