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Mahadevan Venkitaraman

@maha2us

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#21

Angie, When you say, love cna't be forced, I can understand. But how is the marriage normally made to work? Both husband and wife have to build love for each other, understanding each other sharing the insecurities each others have openly and work together more and more. And for the marriage to work both the persons have to be committed. This is the best I know on how the marriage could be made to work. The husband or wife is not to ignore the pain each other feels and also not ignore how one person feels about the other. But one point is both the husband and wife are adults and so they both have to find out why their spouse behaves in a certain way which is unpleasant to him/her. Once he/she knows the point of view of the other person, he/she could find it more comfortable in the married life. The only reason the husband/wife can think of divorce is when each other has genuine danger to be with the other person. What I learn is most of the marriage breakdowns take place because the husband or wife has unresolved fears. A counsellor could work well with a husband and wife if he can understand the point of view of both the persons.

You say laws can't make a person criminal. Probably it is true. But one point I learn is it is painful to be taken to court by false accusations. If the pain is buried in this type of victim, it causes a lot of damage in him which manifests in the form of anger, anxiety, tension and depression. When these things become uncontrollable in anyone he can either commit suicide or resort to criminal activities.

As i said the most important reason the marriages fail is because of the latent fears in the minds of the husband or the wife. The fear could be based on genuine reason or false beliefs. But the fear prevents him/her from being loving to his/her partner. But if this fear comes based on the laws the Govt: has slapped and the history of the false cases and the results of them, what could the husbands do? If the husbands have to enter into the marriage being scared, the love potential they will have will be low.

Edited by maha2us - 12 years ago

Quote

Mahadevan Venkitaraman

@maha2us

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#22

Finally this is all I look forward to for things to be fair in this country.

1. Make all the marriage laws, rape laws etc. gender neutral. Both the husband and wife must have equal opportunity to file these cases.

2. The punishement for those persons who misuse these laws have to be severe. Hefty fines must be levies on those persons who file false cases.

Interestingly both these conditions are fulfilled in USA. In USA if a person is falsely dragged into court, he/she can claim huge compensation. All the laws in USA are gender neutral.