My Secret In Silence .
--- One Shot On AnaJee ---
Today is one of those days I miss him- the lonely- I -wonder-what-he-is- doing days. I don't have them often, hardly at all, but once in a while I do when hear a song he used to sing or drive past his neighborhood.
I am not sure why is it that I sometimes, still miss him.
It's been nearly eight months since we broke up for the second time. Maybe losing him bothers me a lot more than I let myself believe.
Sometimes, I hate myself because I know that I am to blame.
The first time I met Jeet I was completely infatuated with him. I just knew I had to be with him, and two months later, I was.
For a while, I thought my life to be perfect.
But when I aked myself as to was it the right way to have someone forcefully ?
I had brought him up only cuz i needed him .. wanted him eagerly and not because he came cuz he wanted to be with me ... Just ME .. by sacrificing the Love of his family and her girlfriend- Rano.
I forced him to come to me .. just for the sake of my fate.
It was my mere doings which was just like a 15 year Love- stricken teenage due to which he was with me.
I felt really sorry for him but then I could not afford to be distrusted by Love again for the 16th time .. since more than 100 long years ...
I really was not in the condition to sacrifice my Love to somebody else than me and this time i was not going to change my views for anybody.
I was indeed happy to have him ... felt beautiful & perefectly perfect around his gaze.
But eventually his immaturity began to surface. I still cared about him a lot but felt exhausted by his childish behavior of wanting to have a candy of his choice..
He needed a break but I wasn't ready to let him go.
But one day tearfully, I chose to take him to the road of independence and in turn he broke my heart.
I looked for other Guyyz but he would creep into my thoughts at least once a day.
None of the Guyyz measured up to him; none of them gave me the special feelings that I longed for day after day.
Then one day, about eight months after separation, he called out of the blue. Until that i had barely spoken, and I realized how much i had missed him ..
Jeet was now all ready to come back to me. After long conversation he revealed that he wanted to come back to me. And I wanted him back too.
So, after his breakup with Rano,we got back together. It felt as if no time had passed since we were last a couple.
We were happy and I felt complete again. Jeet was now matured and now could handle commitment.
Sometimes my adoration would overwhelm me.
Never before and never after, have I cared about a human so strongly!
***
Edited by ---Shailu--- - 12 years ago