ANSH OS..TOGETHER at night with CHOTIMA

chumki... thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#1

it was one of the best morning of shiv's life
coz his " wife slept the whole night close to him..a huge grinn
spread on shiv's face..he though kash i didn't had bhang..so i can
enjoy watching my "bindni" whole night..."bindni"..wow shiv..it sounds
so close to heart.. he went to wash room to get ready..when he came down
he saw their family doctor was leaving..he was WORRIED..we then come to know
that CM falls sick coz of playing holi..he was feeling bad too not only for
CM but also for anandi coz her good intention backfire..and sanchi is there
to to find faults...but anandi as usual without any reaction just try to memorise
the medicine chart...shiv feel like go nd tell anandi "don't worry i m with u"..
by giving a hug..but controll himself.. agter sometime everybody left the room
the whole day went away..everybody was buzy in their daily course...ira has to
take care of the houshold course coz CM is sick and anandi is buzy in her seva,,
shiv also went to CM number of time..not only to see CM but also to his wife
CM also said many time to anandi that she is feeling better..so anandi can go
and relax in her room for sometime..but anandi was not in a mood to go anywhere
...
.shiv just finish his work on laptop..he looked at the clock whicj showing 11 p.m
he called to anandi's cell but she didn't pick up his call another time
walking out from their room he scaned the hall from upstaires to catch the glims
of anandi.. but she couldn't seen her anywhere.. it is then he saw her coming out
from CM room and going towards kitchen..
anandi in the kitchen boiling some milk so can she feed CM somthing coz of feaver
CM is not ready to eat anything..she is worried and tensed also nd feeling guilty
suddenly she feel two strong arm hugging her waist from behind..and rest his chin
on her shoulder..His hands were caressing her bare midriff..She turned back
nd said.."choriye bhi.. i have to take the milk for CM".Shiv held her more tightly
nd SAID..."may i help u?? u r with CM from the morning.. i don't want that u also
fall sick... let me help u anandi" she turned to look at him with that wonderful smile
she was smiling .. smile that always made his heart swell with adoration. she said
"no shiv i'll manage".and careses his face withher hand lovingly..andstarted
walking towards CM room..shiv followed her..saw her talking care of CM..and
falling in love with his wife again and again..anandi looked back at him
and told him to go and sleep..shhiv wnet to his room...it is yet another
night to shiv without anandi next to him..close to midnight he couldn't
take it anymore and went to CM'S ROOM.. and saw anandi sitting on the chair
next to CM'S bed..anandi also see him and ask him why he is here he should be
sleeping... shiv said" u know i can't stay away from u..and when u r awake
and talking care of CM how can i go to sleep? aap ko pata hai na..aap ke bina
hume neend nahi aati"...while saying Shiv looking at her with his intense eyes

anandi blushed and turn around...shiv went to sit on the sofa..anandi knows
she is fighting a loosing battle coz when her gentle sweet and romantic
husbend gets into this demanding husbend mood she caves like a house of cards
after sometime when shiv saw CM' fever is come down and she is sleeping
peacefully Shiv creates a narrow bed out of multiple chairs along with sofa
he hoisted anandi in his arms nd placed her on the sofa cum chair made bed
as he is about to move..anandi catch hold of his colar and said.." if u can't
sleep without me how can u think i can sleep"..shiv tucking the occasional stray
strands of her lustrous hair behind her ear dropping a gentle kiss on her
forahead.. he sit's next to herHe wraps his arms around anandi and
they both fall asleep half way sitting and half way lying. Anandi had been fatigued
was sleeping like a baby with her face tucked in on her husbands chest ...
like a favorite pillow... Early at dawn.. when ira came to room to tell anandi
that she will look after CM and she can go and take rest That is how she
found shiv and anandi sleeping deep sleep in most uncomfortable position
wrapped in each others arms.Shivs chin resting on top of anandis head
that is tucked in on his chest. Anandis face has a peaceful look
like she is a angel sleeping on a cloud

GUY'S THIS IS MY 2nd attempt for an os...hope u like it..and don't forget togive comment...hope u will enjoy


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libsrocks thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#2
nice plot but your OS gets confusing due to spelling mistake and becoz you did not separate the dialogue from scenes
try to use the different colour and colum symbol for dialogues...i would suggest you to just go through it and edit the mistakes once again so that it looks more better...sorry if you are hurt but i am just viewing my point
i really liked your OS but the mistakes in it is making it difficult to read
fanbalikavadhu thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: chumki...


it was one of the best morning of shiv's life
coz his " wife slept the whole night close to him..a huge grinn
spread on shiv's face..he though kash i didn't had bhang..so i can
enjoy watching my "bindni" whole night..."bindni"..wow shiv..it sounds
so close to heart.. he went to wash room to get ready..when he came down
he saw their family doctor was leaving..he was WORRIED..we then come to know
that CM falls sick coz of playing holi..he was feeling bad too not only for
CM but also for anandi coz her good intention backfire..and sanchi is there
to to find faults...but anandi as usual without any reaction just try to memorise
the medicine chart...shiv feel like go nd tell anandi "don't worry i m with u"..
by giving a hug..but controll himself.. agter sometime everybody left the room
the whole day went away..everybody was buzy in their daily course...ira has to
take care of the houshold course coz CM is sick and anandi is buzy in her seva,,
shiv also went to CM number of time..not only to see CM but also to his wife
CM also said many time to anandi that she is feeling better..so anandi can go
and relax in her room for sometime..but anandi was not in a mood to go anywhere
...
.shiv just finish his work on laptop..he looked at the clock whicj showing 11 p.m
he called to anandi's cell but she didn't pick up his call another time
walking out from their room he scaned the hall from upstaires to catch the glims
of anandi.. but she couldn't seen her anywhere.. it is then he saw her coming out
from CM room and going towards kitchen..
anandi in the kitchen boiling some milk so can she feed CM somthing coz of feaver
CM is not ready to eat anything..she is worried and tensed also nd feeling guilty
suddenly she feel two strong arm hugging her waist from behind..and rest his chin
on her shoulder..His hands were caressing her bare midriff..She turned back
nd said.."choriye bhi.. i have to take the milk for CM".Shiv held her more tightly
nd SAID..."may i help u?? u r with CM from the morning.. i don't want that u also
fall sick... let me help u anandi" she turned to look at him with that wonderful smile
she was smiling .. smile that always made his heart swell with adoration. she said
"no shiv i'll manage".and careses his face withher hand lovingly..andstarted
walking towards CM room..shiv followed her..saw her talking care of CM..and
falling in love with his wife again and again..anandi looked back at him
and told him to go and sleep..shhiv wnet to his room...it is yet another
night to shiv without anandi next to him..close to midnight he couldn't
take it anymore and went to CM'S ROOM.. and saw anandi sitting on the chair
next to CM'S bed..anandi also see him and ask him why he is here he should be
sleeping... shiv said" u know i can't stay away from u..and when u r awake
and talking care of CM how can i go to sleep? aap ko pata hai na..aap ke bina
hume neend nahi aati"...while saying Shiv looking at her with his intense eyes

anandi blushed and turn around...shiv went to sit on the sofa..anandi knows
she is fighting a loosing battle coz when her gentle sweet and romantic
husbend gets into this demanding husbend mood she caves like a house of cards
after sometime when shiv saw CM' fever is come down and she is sleeping
peacefully Shiv creates a narrow bed out of multiple chairs along with sofa
he hoisted anandi in his arms nd placed her on the sofa cum chair made bed
as he is about to move..anandi catch hold of his colar and said.." if u can't
sleep without me how can u think i can sleep"..shiv tucking the occasional stray
strands of her lustrous hair behind her ear dropping a gentle kiss on her
forahead.. he sit's next to herHe wraps his arms around anandi and
they both fall asleep half way sitting and half way lying. Anandi had been fatigued
was sleeping like a baby with her face tucked in on her husbands chest ...
like a favorite pillow... Early at dawn.. when ira came to room to tell anandi
that she will look after CM and she can go and take rest That is how she
found shiv and anandi sleeping deep sleep in most uncomfortable position
wrapped in each others arms.Shivs chin resting on top of anandis head
that is tucked in on his chest. Anandis face has a peaceful look
like she is a angel sleeping on a cloud

GUY'S THIS IS MY 2nd attempt for an os...hope u like it..and don't forget togive comment...hope u will enjoy

very nice attempt indeed chumki 😊, u r really writing the scenes in a realistic approach and not like a fairy tale, only one suggestion make it more appealing to read n nobody is going to miss ur OS and iam eagerly waiting for ur next update all the best

chumki... thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#4
i will try to...coz i m not writing in daily basis...just wrote down my thought..spl about anandi's seva with little romantic touch...but i will definetly keep yr suggestion in my mind when i will write next time...
and 2ndly it was an unedited version..so i know it's difficult to read but thanks to read😊
bhaironnath thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#5

Sweet OS.Should try your hand at more.

Tulasi14 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
#6
Beautiful ,lovely !chumki and hope they will show something like this in to days episode!
libsrocks thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#7
hey chumki...you almost hit the point...many parts of your story was taken for the episode...try more in writting 😊
TheHappyGirl thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#8
Very nice Chumki! I wish actual mei bhi aisa hi hota!
rdjha thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#9
Nice OS Chumki!!!
i think you should try more...and may be proof read it for an spelling mistakes ...please dont feel bad...just gave my opinion...so that it helps you to pen down ur beautiful thoughts and we get a nice OS 😃

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