Posted:
Originally posted by: shalini1323
Well, what do you do when friends just automatically don't keep in touch? Not like you fought or anything but citing reasons like "I've been really busy etc", or "wok has kept me soo busy" .. so much so that people do not make any attempt to keep in touch.. It's always YOU who asks them how they are, what they are up to... ur the one making an effort. Always.
The most logical thing - you look back and think if they are upset with you for some reason about anything, or if they are unhappy with you for some reason.But if nothing as such has happened, what do you do then? Is it rational to be the only one making an attempt to make time/keep in touch ?Is it fair? Shouldn't friendship be a two-way thing ? Don't you deserve a bit more respect?I understand everybody needs privacy and their time off but are we so busy in life that we fail to keep in touch with our close ones? And after a while the friendship just falls apart. Without a reason. Then, what?When many months later you bump into them again, how do you react?
😆 That sounds like me. 😆 😆
I think it's natural for people to lose touch especially if they are not in the same town (or maybe even in different timezones), busy with work/family/studies.. but that doesn't mean they are upset with you! Imagine one day if you become extremely busy.. will you concentrate on your work/family/studies more or remember to call your friends? In the meantime, will you want your friends to worry that you were upset with them .. or expect them to understand that you are busy?
I have a few friends who I call/mail like once in a year or maybe even in two years, and we talk like we have been in touch forever! There are some that I recently talked to after 6 years... geez and another after 10 years (I'm growing old 😭). There are just no hard feelings between us.. and in fact I love it when that happens 'coz I just feel so happy when I get mails/calls from them .. it just makes me realize that I must have done something right regarding our friendship that they still treat me the same way even after all these years!
If the friendship falls apart, then let it. If that person felt your friendship meant something, then they will reach out to you someday when they do miss you or remember you, and that day you should give them a chance and act like nothing happened .. that you had no ill-feelings towards them! In the mean time, find new friends and stop getting frustrated over what you think is a one-sided friendship!
Btw, as to your main question. Someone who I thought was my best friend in high school has avoided talking to me since then .. initially I used to wonder what happened but then I left it.. now we just wish each other on our birthdays (and that too through FB..geez!)... But now I am very close to someone I barely talked to in high school!! You lose some, you gain some.. such is life! As for breaking off friendships, has happened only once.. but that's because her behavior towards me truly hurt me!
CID
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