Chapter 11: Blood moon rising
"What happened to Payal?" Arnav asked stifling a yawn behind his palm. His eyes watered at the monstrosity of the yawn and his tired eyes made her feel bad all over again.
"I am so sorry for asking you to come with me. Payal is down with fever - viral infection and she was badgering me that she was fine and she will go with me to meet the doctor. So I told her that you would be coming with me and I won't be really alone." Khushi said hesitantly.
Arnav nodded. He had been sleeping restlessly when loud banging on his door opened him from his half sleepy state. Khushi was standing on the other end of threshold and asked him if he could accompany her to meet Dr Sharma. He had simply walked in, taken a quick shower and got dressed in record time.
"It's alright Khushi. I wasn't sleeping much and besides this could be useful for the investigation too." Arnav replied.
"Why do you say that?"
"If Dr Sharma can perform regression hypnosis and start unfurling information from your past and if you are really connected to the killer, we may actually get a break that we have been waiting for." He explained.
She nodded. "May I ask you something?" Khushi asked. Arnav nodded. "How long has your mother suffered?"
Arnav sighed. "It's been as long as I can remember. I don't have any memory of her holding me or you know...the thing that moms do. Anjali is much older than I am and she is fairly tight lipped about several things. She doesn't talk much about my mother's illness and its origins. I think she is scared that we may have inherited some mental illness and our internal clock is ticking."
"You believe that too?" Khushi asked. In the darkness of the car, she found his palm and held it. She felt he needed some sort of care, contact and assurance - like a young boy. He squeezed her hand tightly and she remained steady when her hand just wanted to flinch at the pain.
"How can I not Khushi? Science is against me," he breathed noisily.
They fell into companionable silence and Arnav's hold on her hand relaxed. She felt warmth and tenderness and smiled inwardly when he threaded their fingers together. It was inexplicably intimate and...just sweet. "Last time when I met Dr Sharma I asked him if he knew me. He categorically refused having met me. I think he is lying." Khushi said turning to look at Arnav.
Arnav took a deep breath. "Where did you live with your parents - before you were adopted?" He asked. The question had been burning him for several hours now and he didn't know if it was wise to ask. In fact, he was scared that she would give him the answer he was already anticipating but didn't want to hear.
"The army base was couple of kilometers away from a small town under foothills of Himalayas. The town was famous for a temple and there was a continuous plethora of tourists. The temple was-"
"The temple was located on a small hill with street vendors littered on the either side of the path. If you stood on the compound backyard, you could see snow clad mountains like huge snow cone." Arnav finished it for her. Khushi looked at him open mouthed and wide eyes. "I was there too."
"So...I have...seen you before?" She stammered.
"It's quite possible. Maybe that's how you remember me because I can assure you that it was impossible for you to see me during your book signing." Arnav pulled their clasped hand towards his lips and kissed the back of her palm gently. Khushi smiled softly but a cloud of confusion masked her face.
"How much do you remember Arnav? Tell me honestly." There was urgency in her voice. She had been calling him 'officer' in the beginning and her transition to calling his name had warmed his heart.
"I honestly don't remember much Khushi and frankly that's a bit weird. I remember being admitted to hospital and subjected to tests. When I confronted Anjali, she told me that an unknown epidemic had spread across the base and many children were affected. I was hospitalized for several weeks and had to go there frequently for follow up for next few years."
"You remember all this?" Khushi asked.
Arnav shook his head. "Anjali told me one day all about it. On one of my mom's better days, she remembers how they refused to let her see me. And few hours later she would regress and talk as if I never existed. For her Anjali is the only child and she has no memory of me." Arnav's voice was raspy. Khushi clutched their hands and shifted a bit closer to him till their shoulders touched. He exhaled loudly as the obvious rejection of maternal care hit him hard.
"Is that where Dr Sharma was treating your mother?" Khushi asked. Arnav nodded.
"I don't really remember him but I have seen his name on my mother's case work. I asked Anjali about it last night and she said she can't remember his face but the name was definitely his. If it was him then..." He looked at Khushi who was looking at him with knitted eyebrows. "I guess I could ask him what started it all for my mom." He shrugged. She wondered if he was hiding something but let the thought pass.
"You are lucky you have Anjali to recount your childhood. My memories are vaguer and hazier than yours, I suppose. I get these flashbacks...suddenly...when I am doing most mundane activity like folding laundry or walking in market. These flashbacks give me a glimpse of childhood which I cannot remember. I remember being hospitalized too with wires in my head and machines beeping. I remember seeing other children. Do you?" She asked.
"I do remember seeing few. I was friends with some and shared a room with a girl, I think. I can't remember if I was seeing myself in the dream or I was an observer. It was oddly comforting to watch, feel and just belong, you know?" He asked.
"You felt happy in those memories?" She asked, not knowing where this was going.
"I think I was...I could feel sadness inside me, creeping in my veins all the time but there was also strange happiness when I was with few children. It was as if they knew what I was going through..." He trailed. Khushi chewed her lip.
"I just remember being incredibly angry. And there was another boy, a friend I was told, always tried to rile me up. I remember him being impassive, expressionless when he spoke to me. I never hear any words in my flashbacks but their actions are enough to deduce what's being said. After he speaks, I go into a fit of rage and try to attack him. People restrain me against him. I pop the needle stuck in my forearm. A Band-Aid with cartoon characters appears and is stuck on top of the needle. The rage is reducing and the world around me is slowly dissolving into swirls of colors and blurry faces. The last thing I see before my eyes are closed is the boy smirking at me, as if he won a competition or something." Arnav tightened his hold on her hands.
"I think I have seen something similar in my dreams." Arnav said softly.
"You were observing the whole thing?" She asked hoping against hope.
He shook her head. "I was the boy." He said hoarsely.
Khushi sat stunned feeling suddenly numb and drained.
New story to run in parallel: Love, Inc.
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