Blast from the Past Thread #8, pg 126, ep 98 - Page 40

Originally posted by: wiwy

Re: Riddle 6

@ Samin⭐️, Durga⭐️, Chalhov⭐️, Indi⭐️, Arshi⭐️, BD⭐️ and all⭐️ who have attempted or planning to attempt an answer! Another clue for ya! Who could have hurt Aakash?! Enjoy!😃

Okay, Durga, you have got one thing right.👏 You said Aakash was hurt and cried but we might not have seen him weeping. No we didnt. So no more research needed on that!😃 But we did see in the serial something which could have hurt him but it shouldn't have! 😆

Originally posted by: BarunDiwani

Friendly Disclaimer: My words, thoughts and ideas are mine only, please do not copy. You are welcome to use it, but credit accordingly. Thank you!

Episode 84: under the stars

"Khushi? Khushi aayi ha aaj?"

his almost closed door re-opnes right away at the sound of her name yes. as if he had re-opened the door to his heart, the eagerness in his voice reflects all the longing he felt all day to see her so he can unload a burden of guilt off his chest. he had hurt her badly and said things he terribly regretted the moment he learned she too lost her parents.

Its been a long day for Arnav Singh Raizada, who stood in front of a mirror and practiced for it, endured a cruel joke by DM when his laundryman showed instead of Khushi,😆 then the agony of finding out she's off today of all days... but the universe was listening to what he wanted with all his heart...what a sweet thought, BD she was here and he couldn't wait any longer, no time wasted, "is she here today?" he asks La, for the first time today he looked at La with any interest good observation😆. "ya She's going to the party with me"

He cant contain himself and goes out to see her, from above the stairs, he take a moment to take in the vision in pink, she looks up to see him and right away notices his soft look . As she looked at him, all she could think about was his pain the day he lost his parents...

He walks down the stairs with his eyes fixated on her, they come face to face,

a soft gaze from his side, she looks down, with determination he takes a few steps forward, she waits for him but La beat him to Khushi, "Lets go chamikili, itgs getting late, by ASR see you soon"

Khushi saw it all in his eyes, she knew he was going to say something, both desperately wishing for one more moment alone but it wasn't meant to be here, it had to be under the stars where their parents could see them grow...La whisks her away, she looks back and confirms her thought,

that he was indeed trying to say something...he looks awfully painfully disappointed, seemed this guilt was literally eating him up inside.

At the party an uncomfortable Khushi waits outside while La goes inside when his thought randomly pops up in her head, him telling her he didn't want to see her face, she scolds herself "hum bhi na kitne ajeeb hai, dimaag kabhi bhi kuchh bhi soch ne lagta hai, ab yahah uss laad governor ke baare mein kyu soch rahe hai?(i'm so wierd, why am i thinking of the LG right now??)" Those words about not wanting to see her face deeply hurt her every time he say them, the same way "rakshash" and "Laad Governor". just as she finishes thinking about him in all her lonesome at a crowded party, she turns around to find him in front of her with the same eager face she left at the RM...he comes to the party he turned actions La down for over and over today...Wonder why didnt La suspect anything. I guess La could not even think that ASR would fall for a low society, jhalli type girl like Khushi. No she didnt know ASR very well did she. She would realize later that ASR was mesmerised by Khushi's simple beauty and charm, her ability to stand up for herself and others, her belief in her roots and traditions, her happy go lucky nature inspite of her personal loss at a young age. After remarriage he showed Khushi in so many ways that he not only loved her but also respected her his presence here especially for Khushi speaks volumes of how badly he needs to reverse the damage he did and in turn reflects the pain that he lives through daily because that's the only way he could really grasp really how much pain he caused her.

Khushi responds with her signature wide eyes, and to an extent knows he's here for her but she gets angry and tries to push him away. maybe she's frustrated with his mixed signals..."don't want to see your face" one minute and in the next his gaze stays upon the same "shakkal (face)" like its providing him oxygen... so with out saying a word, she tries to walk away but a soft toned husky voice, a vibration of vulnerability in it begging her to stop

"Khushi"

she can feel it in his voice, in the way he says her name, a call from somewhere deep within unlike the "Khushi Kumaari Gupta" she has become accustomed to. it's all too scary for her, in an attempt to push him away again, a firmness in her voice "Lavanya ji is inside, you can go"

"Khushi" he call out for her in the same mannter... but somewhere she wants to protect her heart from this man who can turn on her any minute...

"hamme aapse koi baar nahi karni hai Mr.Arnav Singh Raizada!" she explodes, "aur baar baar sabke saamne hamme iss tarah mat bulaiye, hamne kaha na aapse Lavany hi andar hai, aap jaaiye yahan se"

After specifically asking him not to call her name out in such a manner, she literally she's shooing him away...and ASR does not get shooed away by anyone and especially not a low-status middle class girl, all the softness goes away "What the! How dare you?", his question is met with a fired up response "Kyu? hum daring kyun nahi kar sakte? daring pe sirf aapka naam likha hai kya? aapne daring karid li hai kay? (why can't i dare, have you bought out daring 😆)"

"What nonsense?"

"Aap nonsense! aur aapke saath aapka pura (yo're nonsense! and you'r whole family) " gasp! did she almost just? Sanaya was very good in this whole scene. I was 🤣 she stopped her self realizing what she just said.. Obviously driving Arnav's temper up. "Aap kyu hamaare peeche padein hai? aap ky (why are you after me why do)"

Tumhara dimaag kharaab ho gaya hai Khushi Kumaari Gupta (are you our of your mind KKG?)" then his ego takes over "tumhe kya lagata mein tumse yaha baat karne ayaa hoon? agar do minute pyaar se baat kar leta hoon, iska matlab yeh nahi ki apni jagah bhool jao, understand? (you think i came here to talk to you? if i talk you nicely for two min doesn't meant you forget your place understand?)

He walks away but the truth is yes, he did come here just to talk to her, his reason for being here, is stronger than his ego today, he stops, looks back, and those darn tears...he just can't bare to hurt her more than he already has yesterday, "Sorry bolna hai Arnav, sorry bolna hai"

...he turns around but she gone...it had to be under the stars.

He goes outside, his eyes scan for her...there she was in the gazeebo under the stars wiping her flow of tears, pain of them reflects on his face again,

he makes his way to her, she turns back to him and of course proceeds to leave...

"khushi mujhe tumse kuchh baat karni hai (Khushi, i have to talk to you about something)"

she ignors him, its the storage room all over again, as always things must get elevated to the next level and he is pushed to his anger. Grabbing her vigorously, and turning her towards him, in fronts of him, a firm grip on both of her shoulders...a grip on her her defiance really.

'kitni baar kaha hai, jab mein tumse baat kar raha hoon to moo mat moda karo, KITNI BAAR!" shaking her to match the shaking in his voice,"itni si baat samaj nahi aati tumeh? maine kaha na main kuchh kahe raha hoon?" (how many times have i told you when i'm talking don't look away, HOW MANY TIMES!...can't you understand this much? i told you i was saying something!)

Then he looks at her and says something that gave himself away "subhah se dimaag kharaab kar ke rakha hai (you've ruined my mind since this morning)", did Khushi catch that?? "aap apne dimaag pe dhyaan dijiye, kyu ki subhah se hum aapse mile nahi ha (then you concentrate on your mind because i haven't met you all day) " good point khushi, but you missed the real point...you have effected his mind since this morning without being there

"boliye, kya bolna chahte hai aap? boliye!" she screams at him

His grip on her gets stonger "main yeh kehna chahta tha ki uss din maine jo kaha mujhe nahi kehna chahiye tha, agar mujh pata hota to mein aisa kabhi nahi kehta, agar mujhe tumhare maa baap ke baare mein pata hot to main aisa kabhi nahi kehta ..SAMJHI TUM!!

Translation: "I"m trying to say that I shouldn't have said what i said that day, if i knew i wouldn't have said that, if i knew about your parents i would've never said that UNDERSTAND!"

all in one breath, like he would suffocated if it didn't all come out right then... Khushi looks up at him shocked to hear him actually speak the words she saw earlier at the RM. Even his shaking of her didn't matter while she saw what was in his eyes.

a moment goes by gazing each other, she struglle to free herself from his grip, he releases her as soon as he realises. "to yeh sab, aap sorry bolne ki koshish kar rahe the? bahut mushkil hoga na aapke liye? kaha aap, MR.Arnav Singh Raizada, kaha hum Khushi Kumaari Gupta (So all this, you were trying to say sorry? it must've been hard, you Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada and me Khushi Kumaari Gupta)" ..all that "aukaad" talk erupts "aap sorry kaise bolenge? (how will you aplogize?)"

She's right that it was hard for him to say sorry but how wrong she was about the reason for the difficulty.

"waise bhi, you don't know anything about me, no problem, let me tell you...I was 8 yrs old when my parents died in a car accident, i didn't even know the meaning of dying then, for so many days i though they went somehwhere, and will be back...till this day i feel that my parents are stars, thats why i hang stars on my bed, fast speeds in cars scare me even today, sleeping by myself scared me, going into darkness scares me"

Arnav listens with all his heart, without blinking, he takes it all in like a sponge, compassion in his eyes, an need to want to just take care of her, tears emerging every passing second. she continues "so many yrs have gone by but it still feels like a bad dream, on day i'll wake up and they come"

That last line seems to hit home with him, to wake up one day and see his mom come back, i'm sure he has daydreamed such thoughts.

"now you know everthinga bout , sorry boliye, say sorry " almost like a test she demands him expecting him to fail but she mistook him fighting his tears, when he was just trying to process all he had heard and gather some courage, she tells him to give up "let it go, you won't be able to because i don't have enough status that you would apologies to me"

This second he realizes just how much that "hesiyat" "aukaad" words have really hurt her, he need to prove to her that she's worthy of his apology...so far other than Anjali, the only one he would do this for. She was his sole reason for coming to this party, she has become important, her feelings have become important, losing all of his inhibitions he knows he has to let her know all of it in one word.

"Khushi" there is that soft vulnerable tone again, this time she doesn't stop him from calling out her name "iss tarah" (in such a way), she stops for him and looks back, he's looking at her with the tears even more visible,

"Sorry"...heartfelt as can be, his tears for her are in his voice, this first one he is unable to look her in the eyes, she is stood there touched, stunned...he looks straight into her eyes,

"Sorry" a more firm confident, "I'm really sorry" the thiird one it had gotten easier, An emotional moment as as Khushi takes a deep breath after that last apology as more tears come rolling down, shouldn't she be happy?

Her tears have a massive effect on him, here we see what his tears do to her...they bring more tears to her,

she can't bare it. She doesn't know what to do, how to react she runs away...he lets her go as a huge load is off his chest and knows she needs to go.

Under the stars, as their parents watched, the two shared the most intimate moments together bringing them closer than ever. She shared everything about herself to him, it just all came out, and he showed a side of himself to her. She has seen him cry for Anjali, but these tears shed for her and for all the pain she endured...their oneness is a step closer. All that Khushi told him, he will keep close to his heart, no more fast cars, he will bring her "jugnu" (fireflies) in the dark, he will bring her the stars the night before their wedding. If she was holding on with all her might to keep herself from falling for him, today his tears have pushed her over the edge.

At their respective homes, their respective sisters know both have been crying, Arnav and Khushi both ignore them with the help of their respective wardrobes. after much begging payal gets Khushi to talk with a cup of tea. While Arnav's reactions are the funniest trying to get away from his Di. "Di please leave me alone"

Khushi tell Payal that "ek sorry hi to bolna tha, aur woh bhi uss laad gov ne aise bol diya ki hamme rula diya (all he had to do was say sorry, the way he said it, made me cry)" hmmm an admission of the effect of his tears on her, but interesting she doesn't tell Payal that he cried, i love how even Khushi keeps the most intimate details a secret..."phir us sab bata diya..phir he gave me a gold medal...(then i told him everything...then he gave me a gold medal)"

"Kya?" yes Khushi we're all confused explain yourself...

"arre itna sun ne ke baad patthar bhi bol deta, par uss laad gov ke moo se itna sun ne ke baad "sorry" nikkal hi nahi raha tha...sorry hai ya gold medal (after telling him the whol story, even a rock would've said "sorry" by then but it just wasn't coming out of him...is it a sorry or Gold medal?)"

In front of Payal, she feels the need to put a comic twist in her favor, she can't let her know how his demeanour really was, how she really felt when she left there...infact she sensed his sincere feelings at the RM before La whisked her away...but in front of Payal that "rakshas" image needs to stay intact.

Anjali continues to push Arnav for answers, and he can't seem to get a peep out, he did just accomplish a big feat, the emotion drainage of all that.. "i'm worried for you, i think you're" Arnav gives her a look before she can finish to which she says another "sorry"

"Di ek minut mein paanch baar sorry bol chuki hai aap, itna aasaan hota hai aap logon ke liye? mere liye itna mushkil kyu hai?" (Di you've said sorry 5 times in one minute, why is so hard for me?)...

"kya?" oh Anjali if you had any idea "chotey are feeling ok?"

"Haan Di, Nahi Di, Di mujhe lag raha hai ki mein paagal ho raha hoon" (yes DI, no Di, i think i'm goind crazy!)..😆.even he admits a small part o his feelings...this girl is driving him mad. All the emotions running high and thinking back to the day, all that he did out of his character for her, its finally hitting him "yeh ladki mujhe paagal kar ke chodegi" (this girl will drive me crazy) as he would later say...

DROOL CORNER!!!!!!

can't reisist ❤️

❤️ his "'i''m going crazy" look 😆 this is my fav since i don't like to see him cry

Originally posted by: indi52

episode 84

he said sorry three times. or that's how it looked like to me.

but why is such an elaborate story being told around something as simple as "sorry"? so arnav singh raizada never seeks forgiveness from anyone... so what? why is this so important anyway? is it just to show that khushi is making him change his ways or is it something that he must feel for his own character's sake?

i had mentioned the centrality of forgiveness in doctrines of many religions yesterday. but it was a casual remark that i heard yesterday about someone who had been through a terrible killing of her parent, that got me pondering this again. she had gone and actually forgiven the one who took her father's life and pleaded that the accused be set free. "Kshama" or "maafi" washes us, cleans us, frees us of our dark, omnivorous baggage which is bound to inhabit us after a traumatic experience. it is very difficult, almost impossible to come to that point, but it can be done. if we can't forgive, the ugly side of the pain will never leave us, it will maim us terribly eventually.

i am so glad arnav singh raizada learnt to ask for maafi. some day this lifting of the barricade will take him all the way to forgiving his mother'skillers. the day he does that he will be free. and khushi indeed is the one with the key, the wish sent to him by life, that will guide him to the right path. he in turn, no doubt will help her find her destiny and also realise our destiny depends partly on our actions too.

so back to the three sorries.

he's completely odious with lavanya again, brusquely he says he doesn't want to go to the party. and then at her "arnavji" snaps, "aur yeh arnav ji ka drama band karo" now stop this drama of arnavji. can't blame him for that. it is disconcerting, suddenly cool la is all sati savitri lavanyaji, how can anyone put up with it? la is still managing to hold on to her temper, and says, fine, but why is he so angry with her since the morning? i wish i could tell her, he's actually angry with himself.

when the doorbell rings and la says that must be khushi as she's going to the party with her, asr, about to shut his door, stops in his tracks, and can't stop himself from saying, "khushi!... khushi aayi aaj?" khsuhi! khushi has come today? i love the way the "kh" sounds when he says her name. they say your lover takes your name in a way no one else does. well barun sobti's asr has the copyright on the sexiest way of saying khushi and that too in a million different pitches and tones.

"khushi lavanya ki party mein?" khsuhi at la's party? he strides out quickly to go see her. asr is eagerly rushing out to meet khushi. i was so happy to see that. a long tilt up to reveal a very pretty khushi in dark pink and gold, camera reminded me of the day of the red sari.

she sees him. he has already seen her. there's a funny awkwardness in him, while her gaze is direct, ready. he wants that forgiveness. he has never asked for such a thing. this is tough.

she remembers, "pata hai kaisa lagta hai jab apne haathon se apne maa ko agni dete hain... sab kehte hain ki wo samajhte hain ki hum kya mehsoos kar rakein hain lekin koi kuch nahi samjhta!!" know how it feels when you put fire on your own mother and come home?...everyone says they understand, but no one understands a thing!!

a sadness in her. this death of parents sits heavy on her. his words awaken the fears and insecurities of loss in her again... he's looking contrite. he starts walking toward her.

they stand facing each other. air of hesitation in him, and discomfort in her. the day before had not been easy on either. yet he needed to reach her somehow. he knew his words had not only hurt her, they had slammed a door with their complete self absorbed cruelty. and by saying "koi nahin samajhta," he'd let her become just anyone, part of a faceless mass. but she wasn't that, was she? good or bad, infuriating or not, she was anything but just some "koi" to him. he was aware enough to know that for some reason quite unknown to him, she mattered. which is why perhaps it was all the time important to let her know she didn't (contrary mr asr, forever flinging "tum hoti kaun ho" at her). he'd made a promise to himself never to let a woman be of consequence to him. everything went and rested in that one killing moment of his life. his mother gone in a trice, because his dad played with another woman. never would he let a woman in his life.

so when khushi started to walk into his thoughts, claim his unconscious reveries, he had to manage this breach somehow. "kissi ladki se koi faraq nahin padta..." no girl makes a difference... his walls of resistance were high and thick. yet, with her, padta hai faraq... dammit. not just now, it will be so forever. hamesha.

his instincts bid him to build back what he'd wrecked the night before. but of course his dimaag/brain struggles with this need... in his telepathic conversation he would talk of the desperate attempts he made to not like her, hate her in fact... "kitni koshish ki maine..." however, his heart refused to listen.

he strode purposefully toward her, but la came to whisk khushi away.

he was left looking on... he looked.. helpless? asr?

she who is mad at him, left, but not without looking back. even on the day she called him a man without a conscience, she hadn't been able to walk away without looking back. her instincts fought with her dil. rakshas or not, it wants to take her toward him.

rabba vey decks up her walking away. she seems a bit reluctant though to just leave him there and go.

twice he turns back for her. khushi! khushi!, i hear him calling her in the guest house that terribly night of the storm, first time her name on his lips. with each turn, perhaps a seeking of forgiveness, unheard.

his very first sorry. i was certain that's what it was, there in his eyes, and she could sense it too.


"heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on; not to the sensual ear, but, more endear'd,
pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone:"
~~~ john keats, ode on a grecian urn ~~~

at the party, she stands around alone, unwilling to join the revelry inside. and memories of him come unbidden. he is telling her he doesn't want to see her face. why his thoughts all the time? why can't she just stop letting rakshas in? she berates herself, "hum bhi na, kitne ajeeb hain, dimag kabhi bhi kuch bhi sochne lagta hai... ab yahan uss laad governor ke baare mein kyun soch rahe hain." i am so strange, the brain starts thinking anything anywhere, now here i am thinking of that laad governor!

and like a genie he appears in front of her.


she makes to walk past him and... "khushi," something gentle, tentative in his voice. but she is in no mood for that. for a second a turbulence on her face though...


again, "khsuhi."

"lavanya ji andar hain, aap andar jaa sakte hain," la is inside, you can go in...

"khushi,"

she turns away, rejecting his call. she knows, oh yes, she knows he's here for some reason that she will find hard to handle emotionally. she is running away from it. i have nothing to say to you, she says emphatically, angrily almost.

he's hit hard by her vehemence. he is unused to opening himself up so much, allowing the feeling of remorse to show through, it's a first time for him. after behaving strangely and badly, he always knows he's wrong and feels terrible but he chooses not to show it...

she tells him, "aap jaiye yahan se," in this dismissive tone. what the. teeth are clenched, an involuntary threatening step forward. the two of them spell friction, always. there's too much unspoken attraction, fire under the skin, bound to be combustible.

"how dare you," he's beside himself with anger in a split second.

"kyun hum daring kyun nahin kar sakte? daring pe sirf aap ka naam likha hai kya," why can't i be daring, have you got your name written on the word... and the love/hate talk takes of... as usual.

equal talent. equal rage. equal right. i can hurt you, and i can hurt you right back. no cowering and singing sad songs for our heroine here, merely 18, small town, unfashionable, whatever she may be. just as he fell for her utter and mad ajeeb cuteness, so too perhaps for her crazy, leap in, gutsiness, some would call it foolhardiness. but that's what will get her to switch diesel to water alone in a lonely farm house surrounded by goons one scary afternoon... and have him exclaim with a funny kind of enjoyment and pride "khushi kumari gupta singh raizada."😆

"aapne daring khareed li hai kya?" have you bought out daring? i am thinking here, khsuhi, what if he said he had? ah well.

"what nonsense,"

"aap nonsense... aur aapke saath apka poora p-" you're nonsense, she counters, and your whole f- oops. no, khsuhi didn't mean to insult his whole family, but her tongue was running way ahead of her brain. big mistake.

the rage, the gussa flared in his being. i was overjoyed, for some reason, that's my signal that all is well with him.

he shoots off a tirade instantly, "tumhara dimag kharab ho gaya hai, khushi kumari gupta. tumhe kya lagta hai, main tumse yahan baat karne ke liye aaya hoon? agar do minute pyaar se baat kar leta hoon toh usska matlab yeh nahin ki tum apni jagah bhool jaao... understnd?" you've gone mad, kkg... you think i've come here to talk to you (but you have, haven't you? but no matter, keep yelling, sounds beautiful)... speak lovingly for two minutes and you forget your palce. wonderful, insults have started flying.

again a curious moment. she's upset, close to tears... he's feeling the anger dissipate and the reason for coming here take hold again. what's he to do. how to tell her what he wants to?


and one more time he looks back back with a world of emotion in his eyes. she wipes a tear. he's quick to respond with an intense feeling. yes, this time the tear hurt him. one of those har baars. he can't see this. he turns away. "sorry bolna hai, arnav, sorry bolna hai." got to say sorry, arnav, got to. he didn't know, but he had said and felt sorry with those eyes closed in pain, feeling her pain, in him. second sorry is here.

he opens his eyes and looks for her, she's gone.

he finds her. and at her sight, there is music in his heart even if he doesn't bid it "play on."


he's steeped in remorse, wondering how to approach her and say his thoughts. she stands alone, tossed by too many feelings. again a tear is wiped.


he can't take it. finally, he walks up to her and enters the gazebo. a few seconds of poetry in absolute silence as he watches her, and she him.

"khushi mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hai." khushi, i have something to say to you.

but again she must walk off... and he must lose his cool at this repeated turning of her back on him... he must stop her, shout. in the shouting, even before he can think, all his feelings of remorse. forgive me, scream the words yet they sound most unapologetic.


"kitni baar kaha hai ki main jab baat kar raha hoon toh mooh mat moda karo.. kitni baar... subah se dimaag kharab kar rakha hai," how many times have i told you not to turn away when i am talking to you... how many times... you've been chewing my brain since the morning...


"aap apne dimaag pe dhyaan dijiye, kyunki subah se hum mile nahin hain," give some attention to your brain, because we haven't met since the morning.

then he just blasts her. "forgive me" seem to say every word nonetheless.
on a rush, without a breath or pause, and decibel climbing, he goes for it, "i wanted to tell you what i said i shouldn't have... if i'd known i'd have never said such a thing... if i'd known about your parents, i'd never have said such a thing...

SAMJHI TUM?"

in tune with him instinctively, she realises why he is here. "toh yeh sab... aap sorry bolne ki koshish kar rahe the," so all this... you were trying to say "sorry."

and then, though upset, and angry with him, she helps him in a way only she can. she acquaints him with a khushi kumari gupta he has never met.

how could he? she was only eight. when the accident happened. when she had no idea what death was even. and her parents went forever. how unreal it was to her, she kept on thinking they would come back, but no. even today she's scared of the dark... and speeding cars. even today she feels sometimes that she will suddenly wake up, the nightmare would end and they'd be there. but alas.

now you know, "pata nahin tha" you'd said, now you do.

"now say sorry."
(reminded me of the "say sorry" thing i have with my husband 😆.)

"aaj bhi hume lagta hai ki hamare amma babuji taare ban gaye hain"... till this day i think my mother and father have become stars... that's why i hang stars above my bed, i'm scared of fast cars... of sleeping alone... of the dark. i feel they will return, it's only a bura sapna.

he swallows hard and looks away. she seems to give up. all her churned up emotions, the outburst, everything seems to have sapped her of energy.

"rehne dijiye, kyunki hamari itni haisiyat hi nahin hai ki aap hume sorry bole," let it it be, because i don't have the status that you should ask for my forgiveness.

she's walking away.

"khushi," tears in voice.

she stops and looks back. he's looking at her, eyes filled with tears.


merging of pain, yours, mine. what is mine is yours, what is yours is mine. something is making it impossible to separate pain. tears redden his eyes, he finds the word that had eluded him so long and says it with determination. asr says, "sorry."


tears streaming down her cheeks she looks at him disbelieving... hey hey...

"sorry..."


her feelings congeal, choking her, his tears are hers perhaps, even if she doesn't want them to be.

"i'm really sorry."


"amar matha noto korey dao he tomar chorono dhular tole
shokol ahonkar he amar dubao chokher jale" two lines from tagore in my head... make me bow my head beneath the dust of your feet/every arrogance of mine, lord, drown in my tears. sometimes that arrogance is just a shield for a heart filled with unshed tears. sometimes tears remind you of pearls, falling unrestrained like portia's mercy, perfect, round, and shining.

his first uttered "sorry," how tremulous with tears, like a little boy almost.
arnav singh raizad asked for forgiveness three times today. the last time, he manged to say the word too. that too three times. i don't think there's any need to mention how perfect and emotional but never melodramatic or cheesy barun was. sanaya was the instinctive and astute foil. always a private space for their most intimate moments. beautiful setting, the lights gleaming like those tears whose release it was all about really.


at the end, two short, lighter scenes in parallel. khushi with jiji, asr with di, a lightness in dialogue, music, pace, taking episode to a breezier note, perfect contrast with what came before.

as khushi talks to payal, i realised, yes they were her tears too. "ek sorry hi toh bolna tha... aur woh bhi uss laad govrnor ne aise bol diya, ke.. hume rula diya." just had to say a sorry, that too the way the ladd governor said, it just made me cry. she had sensed that sorry in him, and his struggle. she felt his devastation about his parents just as she'd told him she could. but in khushi vein, she took it all to her chirpy, irreverent talk, "sorry hai ya gold medal...!" is it a sorry or is it a gold medal...? gold medal, khushi, you've come first in class.

interestingly, the word "paagal," mad, connected this scene with the one at rm. earlier payal had joked that khushi was mad and would make everyone go her way.

in asr's room, di hovered around chhotey, saying he's driving her "paagal," she was certain something had upset him, he'd cried. he was irritable. the look at his sis. aw. she went into a fit of "sorries."

"di ek minute mein paanch baar sorry bol chuki hain aap... itna aasan hota hai kya aap logi ke liye?!! mere liye itna mushkil kyun hain" di, you've said sorry five times in less than a minute... is it so easy for you guys? then why is it so tough for me? fantastic voice modulation, note of humour creeping back in.

"chhotey, tumhari tabiyat toh theek hai na?" chhotey, you're fine, aren't you?

"haan, di... nahi, di... di, mujhe lag raha mein paagal ho rahan hoon." yes, di... no, di... di, i feel i am going mad.

Originally posted by: ..Anita..

Episode 87!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Episode begins with Khushi givng a letter to the ASR and telling him that Lavanya wrote the letter and she was sad while writting the letter and ASR gets up from where he was sitting and tears the letter in to pieces and throws them on Khushi and he tells this is answer to your letter and grab all the pieces and give it to the person who wrote this letter. Khushi tells him that he should have read that for once and she hasn't even completed her line and he shows her eyes and she leaves from there. (I think asr knew lavanya did not write that)

Somewhere in RM Anjali is trying the Shyam's phone and outside RM he does not pick up the phone and says to himself that he is coming only and now he can come here at any time as bua told him that Khushi will not be coming to this house again. (he is doing the mental jig right now, it just know it🤣). Khushi is moving out and Anjali sees her moving out of the house and from the front door Shayam is coming in and both of the faces each other. Then Shayam close down the door and tells her that mausa ji is remembering her and he tells her that he was here to just to call her and she tells him that to give the things and he gives her. Khushi leaves and Anjali comes there and asks him did he saw Khushi and he says he never saw her coming so how will he see her leaving (Good one ,shyam, Good one). Then he tells her that there was so much crowd at market place thats why he was not able to bring groceries and he will bring that later on. (again good excuse)

Khushi goes to Lavanya house and there she sees her packing her stuff. La gives her gifts and she tells her that she is too good. La tells her that she is moving to London forever and Khushi tells her that he was looking upset.

Anjali is crying in the room and Shayam is consoling her. She fears that one day ASR will be left all alone. Shayam says that they are here and they will make some plan.

In next scene maami is calling La and tells her that to come back and she tells her that she is not coming back as for once ASR even stopped her and she further tells her that since when she had left she can look at brahamchari (remember that dream where she sees akasha as a pandit now) all over places. (la is like sorry but I made up my mind)

In the kitchen area Anjali an Shayam for fake and ASR who was passing them tells them that he is now no more 4 feet child he is now 6 feet man (How hot) and he can understand all this and he is about to leave from there and maami comes there and tells him that she wants to talk to him to which he says that he has important conference to attend. Maami tells him to think about the whole family members. Akash and everyone tells that since when she had left he is upset. Then ASR again presents his ideology that love and marriage is nothing and he walks down from there.

Khushi again comes to RM and ask for ASR from the servant who had opened the door. At khushi back anjali and Shyam are hugging each other but as Khushi was in hurry so she missed to see them together (Ugh I was mad'I kept screaming turn around'there is another incident to add on the list of hits and misses).🤣

Shayam leaves from RM and reaches at bua's place and where he sees bua is praising him. He asks them what's cooking for and Payal tells him that Khishi likes halwa so they will cook halwa. He leaves for the kitchen and while others also leave except for bau ji and he picks the phone and takes the number of rani sahiba from there and from being Shayam comes there and snatches his phone and bau ji tells him that he was just looking at the phone as it looks nice and Shayam leaves from there. (Nice one shashi but beware of the snake)

Arnav is in conference and there is issue regarding the shares and the commitment and he addressing his clients. He receives a call that someone wants to meet him but he tells them that he is busy and throw that person out. As he is about to keep the phone he sees Khushi there and she starts speaking that he is not doing the right thing to Lavanya. Arnav takes her hand and takes her to his cabin (Was it me or did that one guy in the conference made a weird face when he saw khushi'like he never saw a girl in his life)

he speaks KHUSHI KUMARI GUPTA.. One side Khushi with her ideology and Arnav with her ideology. So clash of ideologies happens. ASR tells her that whatever he is he do not lie to himself but she always lie to herself and after listening to it she all over gets teary and leaves from there and as soon as he sees tears in her eyes he closed down his eyes and while moving she turns back and they look at each other'What is khushi's new plan???

Originally posted by: sohara

i wanna do garba with Arshi. Anybody wants to join me. me me me me!!! but Sanay will have share her partner with me 😊 ok and you...

Episode-87

khushi is desperate to reunite Arnav and La. she is truly a selfless angel.

Arnav tears the letter and tells khushi to gather the pieces and give it back to the writer. He knows very well it's Khushi who wrote the letter. Disheartened Khushi leaves in haste. Anjali notices her agitation and tries to talk, but Khushi is really pensive. Anjali is trying to call Shyam. Shyam is sauntering towards RM. he does not need to pick her call. He is exulting that Khushi is not coming to RM any more. so he is relaxed and enjoying his happiness..- te he, he has no idea what's coming He is about to enter the house, Khushi comes out immediately from RM. He certainly gets nervous to see her,, but controls his feelings. - well said, he is a master at that we know how smart he is in his extempore answer."I was passing by, so thought to take you along with me. Your dad is always worry for you. So I came to pick you up." Khushi gets surprised to see him in RM, but believes in his lie.When Khushi tells him to come along, he gives her the excuse of his meeting.

God saves him this time. Khushi just left when Anjali opens the door. she asks him whether he saw Khushi to leave! shyam looks frightened for a while. But he escapes with his clever answer,"I never met her, how do i know she left or not." How cum a person can lie instantly!😡- unfortunatly ppl like his exist and they are too good with coming up with lies on that spot

Khushi comes to La's place. She is trying so hard to reunite La and ASR. When she sees luggage there. she thinks ASR came to apologise, so La is going back to RM. La gives her a gift and thanks her for being a good friends.Khushi is confused, something is wrong! La tells her that she is not going to RM. Khushi tries her different tricks now.

She tells La that Arnav is very upset and restless for her. She mutters herself that it's not sin to lie for a noble cause. La tells her that she is leaving for London for good. - very nice explanation of the scene

(pause: is it so easy to overcome a relationship so easily La? Fot the person, you bore so much of nani's animosity, you changes yourself from a modern girl to a chamkili girl like Khushi, who you hated so much. Now you are leaving so easily.It's good that that you are not an emotional girl like me.)great question Sohara, i think she does feel really bad and doesn't want to leave (again Sana's acting skills didn't convey it properly), but like she said that she has self respect, which i really admired about her character. and she prob wouldn't have gone back if she didn't think he came back for her.

Anjali is miserable for her bro. Shyam tries to pacify her.Sometimes I think, how cum a person can deceive such a beautiful soul like Anjali! shyam is a devil for sure.Anjali is worried that whether her bro desolates himself in future.she wants somebody comes to Arnav's life who, loves him, cares him and be there for the rest of his life. She means a perfect life partner for him. (pause: don't worry woman, you bro is luckier than you. A beautiful and most loving and caring girl is coming soon to your bro's life But poor you, you may will lead the life of what you are talking about.I wish CVs shows a good person comes to anjali's life too.)- me too!!Shyam assures her that it will happen soon. he suggests a plan. Snakewa you sometimes tells the truth.But Anjali is still worried,"no plan will work with Chote.you know what chote's conception about life is. He never tells or shares his feelings." Shyam tells Anjali that he will do something that will make Arnav to think about his life in a new way. Shyam comforts Anjali and tells her to rely on him.sometimes I think, I wish if it is shyam's true face. But sigh he is just full of lies and deception.

Mami is also trying to get La back. She calls La and requests her to forget, patch up with Arnav and come back. But La is obdurate this time. Mami tells her that everybody is missing her, nani is not getting anybody to get angry with, even Laxmi is missing her too. Mami's nightmare of Akash as a brahmachari scares her again..😆So this the reason that she wants La back. But La is indignant,"ASR didn't stop me for once to leave. so how can i come back!" Mami wishes her good luck and tells her to keep in touch.

Anjali and Shyam is pretending to fight each other.Anjali is arguing for marriage and of course about Arnav. Arnav sees them arguing and asks them why they are fighting so early in the morning? they tell him that they are arguing on marriage issue. shyam tells Arnav that it's nothing wrong to be alone and remain unmarried. Anjali is not agreeing with him, she thinks a person will die without being married. Mr. sexy smarty gets their trick,"Di i'm not a 4 feet chote anymore. I became a 6 feet grown up man. so change your tactics to make me agree for something. my thought for marriage will never change in this life.I've an important meeting. so let me leave." (pause: That much of confidence sexy boy, you will marry not once, but twice with the same girl. aur jiske liye tumhara saase bhi rukh jayigi!)😆👏

The whole family is trying. Mami requests him to get La back.. she indirectly indicates to think of akash. Akash tells him that not for me but get La back for yourself. you remain upset after La is gone. Anjali and Shyam also joins them, "you didn't stop Lavanay for once. Just think how much she did for you. she changes herself completely to win nani. now you can't think the right thing in anger.You need someone beside you when no other will be around you.when two lovers separate from each other, they stop breathing." Arnav seems a little influenced by her words. when she starts her saas rukhnewala emotional dialogue he can't take it any more,"enough di, you all know I don't believe in love and marriage, then why you are trying to change me?" shyam comes for her rescue," she is not only my wife but she is your elder sister and she is telling the truth. when you will really fall in love it will definitely happen" Arnav is determined in his belief ,"jijaji kisi larki ko apni jeene ke waja banakar apni zindegi barbad karne ki galti mei nahi karoonga.Agar kisiki jane se saase larkharati hai, to aise saaso ke mujhe koi parwa nahi.Lavanya apni marji se e ghar chorkar gayi, jab ana hoga to khod ayaegi. meine kisiko sorry bolne nahi jaoonga.- what a dialogue ASR!! translation: i'll never do a mistake to destroy my life by making a girl the reason to live. I won't care that feelings if a girl leaves me.. Lavanya left willingly.If she wants to come back she will do also do it in her own will. I'm not going to say sorry to anybody." He leaves everybody left startled.

(pause: yup, you will go crazy when Khushi will leave you , even when he used to hate Khushi he never wanted that she leaves him. when Khushi put down all her stuff from his room, he was terribly perturbed.) - nice connection! Khushi makes all the difference in the world to him

Khushi is strenuous to stop La from leaving. she enters RM almost breathless. she asks JP, where is Arnav. JP tells her that he already left for office. In haste Khushi just missed shyam hugging anjali.behind her.CVs you guys are too much! I know they deliberately is not revealing Shyam's truth. - ya they need him to stretch the story...dammit!

In GH buaji is in her "Shyam naam jaap",🤣she is blabbering, shyam paid the bill,he is one in a million, he is this, he is that, blah blah. Sashiji and Garimaji do not look so impress at her words.Buaji bulaya to shyam chala aya. He starts his melliferous words. he asks what is preparing for navratri's fast? Payal tells that singhari ka halwa, coz it's Khushi's favorite.Shyam becomes happy, get another chance to please Khushi! 😡 he follows Payal to the kitchen to make the halwa.

babuji's target is shyam's phone. He picks his phone and write down Anjail's number. but slither shyam enters everywhere in the right time. he sees Babuji is holding his phone. he snatches the phone immediately, asks him whether he needs to make a phone call or not. Bauji tries to escape,"it's a good phone, so just taking a look."Shyam understands something is wrong. so he leaves.

ASR is in an important business meeting, suddenly the intercom rings. his receptionist is telling him that the person is insisting. He tells her to throw the person out. But Khushi is already in his conference room. all the people get stunned to see the courage of Khushi. That is much to exasperate ASR.

Khushi grips the strap of her jhola to gather some courage,"plz forgive me that I'm saying you are wrong.you know today Lavanyaji."

she can't complete, ASR is infurious like anything,"khushi Kumai Gupta!"

He drags her out and gets her in his cabin," i'm in an important meeting and you enter anywhere with your nonsense talk."

Khushi pulls her hand out from his grip. she is valiant," what other people says is not nonsense all the time.i don't know about money, right now I came to say a very important thing.Lavanyaji is leaving the country for good."

ASR seemed a little agitated to hear the news.But he controls his emotion immediately,"so".

Khushi gets surprised, "so, she is leaving you for good.She loves you."

arnav doesn't let her continue,"whatever between us it's over and now you, get out."

khushi is adamant,"How saying sorry doesn't change the fact, like this by saying it's over, it never gets over.A relationship doesn't break like this.What kind of love it is that it gets over in a moment. A true love can't be like this."

ASR is terribly frantic now,"to train people has become your habit. Now you will tell me what is love? It's over damn it. out"

Khushi is confused "did you ever love her.you were lying.whoever is in love can't say like that.That's why Lavnayaji is leaving. And it's a not a matter to you."

ASR disdains "yes it doesn't make any difference. Lavanya's leaving proves me right again, that two people can't live together for life long.They move on with times. Let lavanya go. It doesn't matter to me."

But khushi is stubborn,'Lavanyaji was crying. she must not know this image of yours." she is about to say "you don't have a heart." but she can't finish.

ASR catches her line,"you want to tell me that., I don't have feelings. Yes,it's good I don't have a heart."

Khushi is perturbed,"what kind of human being you are!" Asr "i'm good how the way I am. at least better than you, Like you I don't lie to myself,don't pretend to say truth and act good."

(pause: what did he mean? does he think, Khushi actually loves him, but pretending that he wants La to be with Arnav!) - hmmm, interesting POV didn't think to it that way

Khushi can't take his excruciating words anymore,"where are you taking the matter?"

Arnav vexes her again,"why, if you don't have problem to tell the truth, then why are you having problem to listen the truth, if nothing is left to say, you may go"

He screamed "security"

that's enough for Khushi to leave. tears wells up in her eyes, forlorn Khushi leaves with a scorch in her heart. ASR is also perturbed, he can't see tears in her eyes.he hurts her again and his compunction is clear in his eyes.

My VM for the day is definitely dedicates to arshi's heer-ranjha track. Last year we witnessed a very emotional confession of arnav through the heer-Ranjha act.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=qmC0VbVS7NQ[/YOUTUBE]

Originally posted by: BarunDiwani

OK dear Wiwy, will try my best to get you an answer, nicer clue this time...something that could have hurt him but it shouldn't have???hmmm...where is Barun when you need him!