DISCLAIMER: This is a fictitious interview with Ms. Chhavi Mittal Nee Hussein. Please take it with loads of Salt!
(However a part of the intro is true. It's very cold and extremely windy here (our summer lasted only a month) and I am terribly overworked. I am practically working 18 hour days. That's the reason you don't see me on IF these days. I had promised Big J that I will get the interview of his 'Dil ki Dhadkan' out by Friday. So here it is. I have not read my PMs. Hopefully after the crunch is over next week I will be back on IF with a big Bang! I am sorry if the interview ain't as good as Sachin Sharma's. I guess I was in a better mood when I wrote his interview. Help, I need sleep!!!)
It was a dark and dreary morning. The sky looked ominous and it was wet and windy. I was in no mood to conduct an interview. It took tremendous amount of effort on my part to leave on time. The driver greeted me with a chirpy "Good morning". I managed to mumble a "good morning" back. Having not had a good night sleep, I was wondering what was so good about this morning. The roads were congested and the traffic had come to a grinding halt. I was yearning to crawl back to the warmth and comfort of my bed. I had to constantly remind myself about the promise I had made to Little Bro Big J (I know, it sounds an oxymoron) that I will do a special interview with Chhavi Mittal Nee Hussein. We had decided to meet at a coffee shop therefore, armed with my ammunitions I reach the venue one hour late. Being a stickler to punctuality, I hurried past many guests with a feeling of guilt only to find Madam Disha missing. Relieved that I still made it before her, I order coffee and decide to wait for the leading lady. She's late by two hours! But Big J ke liye meine sub kuch qurban kar di. Finally after many cups of coffee and what seemed like a day, I saw very pretty girl approaching me armed with a big smile. I instantly recognize the sweet smile. She was indeed feeling bad for being late. To make her feel better I lie to her saying that I arrived five minutes before she did. That did the trick and brought the smile back on her face. I did not want to hurt Big J's heart throb! Big J Bro, you owe me Big Time! Coffee is served and we are ready for our interview.
Me: Good morning Chhavi and thank you for coming in this treacherous weather.
CM: (please read as Candy Maiden after all she's our Sweet Dish) Good morning Simran and thank you soooo (she drags on the 'O') much for your patience.
Me: (I am about to shoot my first question when she interrupts)
CM: (Smiling) "Tape recorder zaroori hai kya"?
Me: (getting cheeky in a hushed tone) "why do you have any secrets to reveal?
CM: (Laughs and makes eyes at me) "May be, may be not!"
Me: Laughing
CM: "What type of questions are you planning to ask me"?
Me: Not the usual kind
CM: (Grins) "tum zaroor mujhe phasana chahate ho" (Laughs)
Me: (Smiling) never, don't you see the halo above my head?
CM: "Nope" (smiling)
Me: "That's because you are a sinner!"
CM: (Laughs loudly) "Okay chalo, let's do it as I am in a mood to talk"
Me: "wonderful! The very words I want to hear"
CM: (Smiling her eyes light up when she smiles)
Me: Does your personality match that of Disha in TD?
CM: (Laughs) "Somewhat yes and somewhat no. I am calm and cool most of the time. I am patient to an extent. But, I don't think I will take all the crap that Disha does. If someone tried that with me he/she will get it as good as they give. Even I get mad at Disha sometimes"! (Laughs at her own retort)
Me: So why don't you tell the producers that it does not sound real?
CM: "Lo karlo baat. Meri thodi sunenge woh? Ulta mujhe hi joothe padega!" (We both laugh)
Me: So you will not cow down to a haughty in-law?
CM: "I will not rave and rant but I will give it back in style in a dignified manner!" (Smiles looking highly pleased)
Me: So your mother-in-Law had better be cautioned eh?
CM: (Laughs) "Mein jaanthi thi ke tum aisa hi kuch kahogi"
Me: I am referring to Sumitra and Gargi
CM: "badmash, jhoot bolti ho" (we both laugh)
Me: So who is your favourite co-star?
CM: "Oh no, I don't want to answer that. If I take someone's name and not mention the others, they'll be upset"
Me: "Be honest"
CM: (smiles and gives a very politically correct answer) "I get along well with all of them and I love all of them" (grins)
Me: "I heard that you don't get along with Kavita aka Pori. Are they just rumours or are they justified"?
CM: (getting serious) "Kahan suna tha yeh sub? That's not true. We had some problems with some date issues but that was about it. Everything has been sorted out"
Me: What's your favourite colour?
CM: "Yellows and greens. I like earth tones and they suit me better"
Me: On a rainy day what do you like to do?
CM: (with a straight face) "I like to do interviews!" (Laughs and then getting serious) "I like to cuddle up and sleep but I have to report for shooting. (Gets excited that she's getting back at me) "But today, I had to sacrifice my only day off to travel across town to meet you".
Me: (I pretend to be upset)
CM: "Mein mazaak kar rahi thi. Mausam kitna suhana hai Tum bhi kitna paagal hai" (singing and smiling trying to pacify me)
Me: (now laughing) what were your ambitions when you were a kid? Did you always aspire to become an actress?
CM: (Laughs and blushes) "you wouldn't believe it; I was aspiring to become a singer and even attended classes in classical singing. I remember my father standing out for one to two hours when I had to go for my classes" (feels nostalgic)
Me: So why didn't you pursue a career in singing?
CM: "Life is strange. I got some modeling assignments and when I was doing them I got offers to act. That's how I landed up as an actress"
Me: Why didn't you offer to sing the title of TD? I am sure you would have done a great job.
CM: "Na baaba Na, I was new to acting and I did want to spoil my chances by asking for a singing career too" (smiles very sweetly)
Me: You were seen in some pretty close-up scenes with the hero of your serial. Did your husband object to it?
CM: (Feels awkward, smiles and continues) "He is a director and therefore understands the profession perhaps more than I do. He knows I am acting the part as Disha"
Me: If the role requires, would you expose?
CM: (makes a face) "I will think about it when I cross the bridge"
Me: (Smiling) your idea of romance is?
CM: "being together with the man I love, doing everything together be it cleaning, shopping or watching a movie"
Me: Your idea of a perfect man is?
CM: "should possess the TDH syndrome (Tall, dark and handsome), caring, loving, romantic and should smell good!"
Me: If you are stranded on an Island with your dream man what will you do?
CM: "sing kaho na pyar hai!" (Laughs) "I will explore the island and the man!" (Laughs)
Me: Where did you meet Mohit?
CM (smiles) "at a party and we hit it off like a house of fire!"
Me: Do you believe in love at first sight?
CM: "I don't but my husband says that he fell in love with me the moment he saw me" (blushes)
Me: (laughing) Other than your husband, whom do you think will fit your dream man category?
CM: "Tum mujhe phirse phasana chahati ho! I am not going to answer that one"
Me: (Laughing and denying, I try to take another approach) "Oh come on, beauty is there to be appreciated!
CM: (shakes her head) "Tum na, zaroor kuch plan ke saath aaye ho!"
Me: Okay, did you have any crushes?"
CM: "Oh yeah! Who doesn't have them! But my crushes changed with the mausam!"
Me: Name a few
CM: "Matt Damon, Jude Law, Collin Farrel, Akshay Khanna, Hritik Roshan, Abhishek Bachhan"
Me: Phew! The list is long!
CM: "you asked for it" (laughing)
Me: so who's your current favourite?
CM: "now I am married girl and I am not allowed to have crushes"
Me: Says who?
CM: (looks at me aghast) "Lo yeh bhi kahene ki baat hai? It's the unwritten rule!"
Me: Rules are meant to be broken! To top it, it's unwritten. Why bother?
CM: (laughs) jab tumhari shaadi hojayegi tab mein aake poochoongi! (Laughs)
Me: What attracts you to a man?
CM: "His intelligence and his smile. He should have a nice smile that's genuine that comes from the heart and reach his eyes. I also look at the guy's footwear and nails too. I like them clean".
Me: tumhen joothe ke saath kya lena dena Chhavi?
CM: "It speaks a lot about a man's character! His cleanliness, responsibilities etc"
Me: So did you give Mr. Hussein a thorough inspection before saying "I do"
CM: (Laughs) "Ja, I did my little investigation with the corner of my eyes!"
Me: Smart Lass!
CM (laughs)
Me: When you were in Campus did you have a lot of guys falling for you like ten pins?
CM: "Ja, not directly but my friends used to tell me that guys fancied me"
Me: I heard you danced to Jon Bon Jovi's tune literally? What was the experience like?
CM: "Oh yes. That was great fun. I really enjoyed it but I did not get to meet him personally". (Now pouting)"I was so sad. I really wanted to but could not. I was upset for days"
Me: Who is your favourite Bollywood actor?
CM: Shah Rukh Khan and Kamal Hassan
Me: In Hollywood?
CM: Will Smith, Denzel Washington, Matt Damon
Me: So Chhavi, Here's a little game. I am going to ask you a few questions in quick succession, please give me the first answer that comes to your mind
CM: Okay (smiling)
Me: You love?
CM: Mohit
Me: You get turned on by?
CM: (gives me a wicked grin) "Switches!"
Me: Your wildest fantasy?
CM: "Jungle men Mangal" (we both laugh hysterically)
Me: What tires you most?
CM: "Wild goose chase" (laughs)
Me: Your sex appeal?
CM: "My head on my shoulders" "No, No, my eyes"
Me: Your fitness mantra?
CM: "Eating healthy and jogging for half an hour"
Me: Your lips love?
CM: (with a wicked smile) "Lancme Juicy tube!" (Laughs) (For those who don't know, Lancme is a cosmetic brand and 'juicy tube' is their fruity flavoured shaded lip gloss)
Me: You would like to act with?
CM: "Shah Rukh Khan"
Me: If you were born again you'll like to be?
CM: "Me Again"
Me: what will you do when you walk into your bedroom to find your husband in bed with someone?
CM: "I'll say excuse me and walk out!"
Me: (laughing) really? That's very generous!
CM: "Well, he'll have hell to pay after that! Mohit ko phir prohit bhi nahin bhacha paayega!" (We laugh)
Me: You are superstitious about?
CM: "Answering this question" (we both laugh)
Me: You have quite a few admirers on the Forum. The guys are a minority but, they are equally vociferous and make themselves heard. Would you like to say something to them?
CM: "Oh poor guys amongst the wild girls! Of course meri chahanewalon ke liye I will definitely say a few words. I love you guys and thank you for appreciating my work. You mean a lot to me and keep watching my programs."
Me: Well Chavvi, it has been a pleasure talking to you. Thank you for coming and to have kept me waiting for 2 hours!
CM: "Oh my God tumne kahan tha that you just arrived before me! I am so sorry about it. Lekin meri kasoor nahi thi! Mein der nahin karti, der ho jaati hai"
Me: Aha, excuses, excuses!
CM: (laughing) "I will buy you a treat. Thank you for coming and I really enjoyed every moment of it and it was so much fun doing the interview. Better than cuddling up and sleeping" (We both laugh)
Me: On behalf of the guys on IF, I wish to recite a poem for you. I hope you don't mind the pun in it!
CM: (she's so pleased and excited) "Really, a poem for me? How sweet! Kisne likha?"
Me: "Big J and Lalit"
CM: "I must thank them. It's such a nice gesture. Of course I would love to hear it"
Me: thoda Techie poem hai maaf karna but, it's 'kinda' funny
Abhi abhi tho pyaar ka PC kiya hai chaaloo
Apne dil ki Hard Disk pe aur kitne Files daaloon
Apne chehre se ruswaii ka Eerror to hatao
Ae jaaneman apne dil ka Password to batao
Woh to hum hai jo aap ki chahat dil men rakhte hai
Warna aap jaise Softwares to bazaar main hazaar milte hai
Roz raat aap mere sapne men aate ho
Mujhe pyar ka Mouse bana kar ungliyon par nachate ho
Tere pyar ka Email mere dil ko lubhata hai
Par beech men tere Mohit Virus aa jata hai
Aur karvaoge humse kitna intezaar
Hamare dil ki Site pe kabhi tho Enter maro yaar
Apne Insult ka badla dekho kaise loonga
Jaaneman tere Mohit ko Control Shift Delete kar doonga
Aapke nakhre apne dil pe bang ho gaye
Do PCs Synchronize hotey hotey Hang ho gaye
Aap jaison dil ko Cut kar dete hai
Warna baaki Cases main tho Copy Paste kiya karte hai
Aapka hasna aap ka chalna aap ki woh style
Aapki adaon ki hamne Save ki hai har ek File
CM: (Laughs uncontrollably) "Maan na padega, they are funny guys. I love them too! Thank you so much and please get me a copy of the poem, I must show it to Mohit" (smiles)
Tho meri doston, yeh thi, Bubbly Cute Candy Maiden Chavvi Mittal.
This also concludes the series of so-called interviews that I have been doing with the Cast and Crew of TD.
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