ArHi FF! Gravity - Thread 2 - [Completed] - Page 31

Plz update soon...

hope u r back from ur holidays...eagerly waiting for updates...

Chapter 25: Variables of the wishes

He saw the city spread in front of him like an oil painting with every possible color spilled on it. He coughed couple of times when the dust got to him, having traveled in public transport after several years. He looked around, blinking as a fresh wave of loneliness hit him like a wet towel. The effort to curb the churning of his stomach was futile as he gave into it and simply walked towards nearest taxi stand. He gave the address to the driver and leaned back in his seat, his mind wandering to the days leading up to this decision. Warning bells were anticipated but they were silent. A dread had crept up when he wasn't paying attention and clutched its claws around his heart and induced a perpetual subtle sorrow.

The loneliness which attacked him after his prolonged dialogue with Anjali was foreign to him. This loneliness was a product of culmination of days of heartache, misery and tempered by lack of knowledge of years of single minded solidarity of his fiance and his sister. It wasn't easy for him to come to decision of getting away. He was on phone with Suman for six hours before he threw the phone in the river when the bus passed a bridge. She would take care of his work – most of it till he wrapped his mind around things. He was responsible for several hundred people's paycheck and he wasn't going to leave them hanging because of the limbo his body seemed to have resigned to. He had stood in front of rows of buses at wee hours of morning with a backpack and phone in his hands. As he slowly checked out the names of destinations, whimsical romanticism took over him as he stopped in front of one of the buses and read out the name. The name of the city came out in hushed whisper boring many secrets, questions and infinite doubts. 'Varanasi'

He was startled awake when the taxi came to a sudden halt and screech of horn shook the serenity of his wavering mind. He sighed and looked out watching blur of people around him. He watched a couple on an old Vespa driving next to the taxi. There was a time when he was like that – free of thoughts involving myriad of anxieties incongruous with the flow of words. Life had twisted, turned and gutted him while he was trying to process what had gone wrong. One day he had sincerely decided to eradicate every nook and corner of his heart and mind where Khushi's memories were embellished. The process was a bizarre combination of determination, fortitude, heartache and copious amount of lies. He lied to himself, discredited the ebbing emotions, cheated his mind to accredit the change and forced his heart to adapt. The result had been anguish in his bones which screamed for freedom from misguided thoughts and bemoaning death of a long dream. He had an incredible chemistry with Lavanya and he knew very well about how wonderfully they complemented each other. A pang of distant dream woke him out of the pretense and jolted back to reality. Strange was the case where dream ushered him to reality and Lavanya's company though stellar was bleak as moonless night. It was that godforsaken melancholy which hit him every time he let go of Khushi; he wasn't lying when he wrote to Khushi that it wasn't possible not to love her anymore. He was completely systematized and he was scared his affliction to the memories they shared would render obsequiousness against what he demanded from himself.

The empirical need of another person in life was as important as need to find one self. Over the years parts of him were chipped around the edges and knocked over several times. He wasn't mere shadow of his former self but also a hazy reflection of what he once wanted to be. The missing parts of him were always attributed to Khushi and he pretended under moistness of his eyes that it was all her undoing.

"Sir, we are here," he heard the driver say. Mumbling thanks and handing the money he owned the man, Arnav walked opened a rusty gate and bit his lower lip as his eyes wandered across the overall structure. He stood in front of the apartment and studied the floor beneath his feet as if it held answers to all the questions in this universe. The gnawing part of him which had momentarily forgone all structural thought processes to take such a…obsolete step had gone hiding beneath layers of abominable arbitration.

Giving himself a lousy pep talk, he rang the bell. His heart beat wildly making the nerve on his neck almost pop out in sheer anxiety. Door opened half a moment later and he took perverse satisfaction in the shock registered on the man's face with his arrival.

"May I come in?" Arnav asked sardonically as Akash stood like Greek statue in front of him. Akash recovered and slid sideways and held door wide open, mutely inviting Arnav in.

"This apartment is so…you." He noted giving the living room once over. Akash swallowed hard as Khushi's words echoed in the living room which reflected similar feelings.

"Khushi said the same thing," Akash blurted before his brain could censor everything sprouted in it. He bit his tongue immediately and noted that Arnav had stilled for several seconds. He exhaled softly when he saw him relax.

Arnav sat on floor mat adorned with plush pillows. Akash wordlessly handed him a glass of water which Arnav drank gratefully.

"What happened?" Akash asked sitting adjacent to Arnav on floor. Arnav looked up from glass he was holding and gave Akash a questioning look. "You are here with a backpack and sunken eyes Arnav. It's not difficult to predict, you know?" He said valiantly. Arnav chuckled. "What?" Akash asked.

"Even you seem to know exactly what I am feeling. I am not sure if it is ironic or a hopelessly depressing metaphor." Arnav said morosely. Akash didn't know how to respond to that. "A passing idyllic romanticism overwhelmed my serenity and masochism took over when the thought was fully formulated. For most part of my journey, I was on phone with Suman and for the smaller, insignificant part – I was listing the topics we could talk about." Akash didn't respond but maintained his fixed expression.

"I guess you discovered at least a handful given how you are here," Akash said waving his hands around. Arnav laughed and shook his head.

"No. There isn't anything besides Khushi common between us. But strangely you are the closest to a male friend I have and I can turn to without worrying about marring personality and broken images. Strange, isn't it?" Arnav asked Akash who was looking inscrutable.

Akash understood Arnav's underlying plea. Arnav loved Khushi and he had no doubts about that. But the said love was entangled in so many confounding layers of convoluted sense of protection and sacrificial intent that Arnav was lost in its labyrinthine manifolds. Every time he untangled a knot, his hands bruised, cut and bled but Arnav persisted. Now, he had taken radical decision of completely vaporizing the entanglement by removing himself from it. It was disturbingly simple and alienated him completely.

"There is a bathroom in that room and some fresh towels in the cupboard under the sink. Take a shower while I prepare breakfast," Akash said standing up. He stuck out his hand in front of still seated Arnav. Arnav hesitated momentarily but took his hand.

Muttering hurried thanks, Arnav passed him and opened the bedroom door. His heart stilled and feet were rooted on the ground when his eyes fell on the portrait adorning one of the bedroom walls. Arnav let out a strangled cry and pressed his temples as the ache in his heart bobbed in every possible nerve ending of his body. He rushed to the shower and stripped his clothes in record speed.

The first sob escaped from his throat as the steady stream of hot water wet his body completely. His tears mixed with moisture falling atop of his head, diluting as they traveled through his chin, his chest and then mixing with suds and whooshing out into drain. He clutched his heart as it ached, throbbed and pained severely as his breath came out as strangled cries of desperation of a drowning man. He collapsed on the tile floor ignoring the pinkness his skin was displaying as hot water mercilessly splashed on his back and arms.

He wished everything would go back to normal after he woke up from the horrible nightmare he was in.

He wished his world was ideally balanced and lies didn't exist.

He wished Anjali had told him about Arav before.

He wished Akash was present at his wedding and unfurled the truth before anyone could come to conclusions.

He wished Khushi had trusted him a little more.

He wished he had pestered her a little more and told him what was wrong – maybe then she would have broken and told him everything.

He wished Lavanya found someone worthy of her intelligence, charm and beauty – unlike him who was broken and fully damaged.

He wished Payal become victorious in the battle she was having with her own demons.

He wished none of this would have happened and his life continued to be the idyllic and obscure tale of two people who were perfect for one another.

He wished not to open his eyes and wonder why things happened to him the way they did. He wished they didn't make him feel insecure and inconsequential.

He wished…he wished never have to go back.

Streams of hot water poured on him as his tears continued to flow and mix.

Hello Everyone! Did you guys miss me while I was gone? :-)

Hope you all had a great week and a wonderful weekend. I had a good time and had a lot of time to think.

I will not be writing Infinite Crisis anymore as the muse is dead. However I managed to write [in a notebook with yellow pages!] six chapters of a new story. Its going to be angst/romance/thriller - a combination I haven't tried before but I am going to let it stew for little longer. Will post it after Gravity is finished.

Enjoy this chapter and have a good week everyone!

Stalkers prosper on IF.

awesome update... 👏

Res..


Poor guy... I just want to hug him and tell him that RockBarbie will eventually put an end to his misery ;)

Beautifully written, would not have guessed him ending up at Akash's

Thanks for the pm

I did miss this story...

Arnav is lost right now he doesn't know what to do or what to think

He has lost faith in all who he was supposed to be close to

He feels they all treated him like a child who couldn't handle the truth

He feels totally betrayed

the first time i have seen the anguish a man has gone through at felt so real,and the fact that u decided to write it from arnavs pov made it a huge difference he sees so much and feels so much towards everyone feels like there is so much more than wat meets the eye

You're back! How was your vacation? You know, while reading this chapter the song that was playing in my head was boulevard of broken dreams. This is such a painful story of broken dreams. Where will they go from here.