With the changing of times, we are getting more and more open and accepting our fellow human beings precisely on their personal qualities. 😳Inter-religion marriages are getting equally acceptable and common. However, to be a success, any marriage requires two people who are respecting, responsible, honest and sincere. When two people decide upon marriage, they should respect each other, especially so if it's an inter-religion marriage. It is very important to remember that all the religions teach the same basic goodness. 😊 Emily now will have to convince this to Bhabo and I guess Sandhya will help her in her endeavor. Moreover, Suraj will come forward to save his younger brother Mohit from Bhabo's rage, as usual. 😊 This time Bhabo won't be as easily convinced as the circumstances are different, and SurYa will have a tough time changing Bhabo's thoughts. 😳
Over the years, many have spent time or should I say wasted time in proving that a certain somebody's religion is better. In the process, there are instances, when things have gotten very ugly. We actually do not attain anything by proving our religion better than the others. I personally believe we only want to prove something, which we are not very sure of. If one is sure that his religion is better then there is no need for him to feel inferior about it. That's the way religion should be we know our religion is better – that's the reason we have adopted it. It is personal – to each its own. 😃 😳 I think MoMli (Mohit-Emily) have similar thoughts regarding religion. 😊
Religion is a way of life. We by the virtue of being born in a certain religious backdrop learn to follow a way of praying or accepting God as Christ or Krishna and so forth. Thus following the teachings. I don't see the teachings of Krishna any different than that of Christ. Mohit and Emily both have accepted each others' religion, now it will be interesting to see how they will convince entire Rathi family. 😃
The second most important factor is deciding what religion will be followed by the child. There is a constant hustle in the parents that the child follows his/her religion. Likewise Mohit will want their child to be a Hindu whereas Emily will want otherwise. Isn't it more important that a child becomes a good human being? This can be taught to him by adopting the goodness of both the religions. Here, it's very important for parents not to be selfish. We should focus on teaching the child good values which everyone would agree is the basis of every single religion. There have been instances, when adults abandon the religion given to them by their parents and adopt some other religion that they are convinced is better. I think MoMli should let their child decide what religion he/she would like to adopt when he/she is capable of deciding for themselves. 😃
Religion, a binding force is increasingly becoming a killer force. In this volatile time what is it that could provide us with a solution? Marriages between individuals from different religious backgrounds may not offer an answer to a problem of the magnitude we are witnessing. however, from a distance, these ties certainly provide a symbolic hope, that a bond between two communities is possible. though, education and exposure has liberated us from the narrowness of religious dogmas, a lot of political play on religious lines, has, at the same time, turned people more and more rigid, the matters of marriage. no wonder, according to a national survey, inter-religion marriages are on a decline. the pragmatic young do not consider worth all the trouble. 😕It is very unfortunate, that the religion has become a business and source of power for some and a reason for conflict among people of different beliefs.MoMli will haveto respect each others' individuality, each others religious beliefs, faith and preferences, so as to make their inter-religion marriage a successful one, but that is hardly possible for Mohit and moreover he doesn't seem that eager either. 😕 'Marriages are made in heaven, but the forms are filled on earth.' Rightly so; when we are in search of a life-partner we create virtual forms in our minds, filling out details of what we want in a partner and what we don't. Most often than never, we prefer to go with someone who follows the same religious belief as we do so as to make life a lot easier for the two of us. Well, in spite of all our efforts to not marry a person of a different faith, what will happen once we end up falling in love with someone who does not follow our religion? What's next? Are we willing to go all out and fight the world (parents and future in-laws and society at large) convincing them that the two of us are meant for each other? Are we ready to discuss the issue with our partner on how the two of us will manage the situation once a child comes along?😕 These are some of the questions which MoMli duo will encounter before marrying, I guess. 😉 Inter-religious marriages in India are now becoming a common feature and more and more individuals have realized that what makes a marriage work is having a partner who follows their own faith much like the other do.
Here are a few advantages of inter-religious marriages.
- Tolerance----> One of the many advantages of mixed faith marriages is the fact that both individuals are tolerant towards the others' religion. 😃
- Sea of knowledge----> Is there any rule that says that one should not read the Holy Book of a faith that they don't follow? Of course not; couples of inter-faith marriages have an opportunity to learn about the other's religion, which allows them to understand their spouse's faith and respect it. Knowledge gained is something that is never wasted.
- Celebrations-----> We are living in a country where everyone celebrates another's religion. Ask a follower of Islam if he hasn't burst crackers during Diwali? Ask a Hindu if they haven't decorated a Christmas tree and stacked their homes with Christmas cake? Ask a Christian if they haven't celebrated Eid with biryani and sewai? Most of us have enjoyed all festivals. As humans, we simply need an excuse to celebrate and when individuals of different faiths join in marital bond, we can only imagine to what great lengths to which a festival will be celebrated.
Some common pitfalls associated with inter-religion marriage
- Intolerance--->Intolerance is one of the inter-religious marriage problems faced in the county. If both individuals have strong religious beliefs and are unwilling to accept the others', they are heading towards troubled waters. Matters can worsen when family members voice their opinions and try to force the religion that they follow onto their child's spouse. Will such a marriage survive? Bhabo will ask Emily to perform various rituals and pujas and Emily will have little choice other than following them. She will feel suffocated and frustrated if she doesn't like doing those on her own.
- Confusion---->Confusion prevails once a child comes along. Parents are eager to impose the religion that they follow on the child. Moreover, even if they do not force their child to follow a religion, they leave their child with an identity crisis. This is often seen while filling out admission forms where they are to specify the child's religion. Children of such parents also feel rather left out as their friends belong to a particular faith.
Couples of mixed faith marriages like MoMli deal with their religious differences in different ways. Here are some of them:
- Pulling back: Both spouse take a step back and stop participating in various religious activities in their religion. However, such an option is not viable as eventually one out of the two or both would want to get back to worshipping and playing an active role in religious functions. They would be unable to suppress their eagerness to be spiritually active any longer. Such an emotion may surface once a baby comes along.
- Converting: Sometimes one of the spouse's converts to their partner's religious faith. Even though such an option may seem advantageous as it may not cause friction, the individual who has converted may feel their family of origin is disappointed and angry with them for having converted. Moreover, feelings of resentment take over if they were pressured into the conversion. They may even find it difficult to praise and worship the God of their new religion and may have difficulty in accepting doctrines of the new faith. What's more, they feel that they have betrayed their former religious tradition and miss celebrating festivals of their previous religion. So, if the conversion is one where the individual is absolutely certain, where they are not forced into it and where they feel that it is what they want, then and only then should they choose to convert to the faith that their spouse follows.
- Finding middle ground: Sometimes both individuals convert to a completely different religion as a compromise. They both leave their respective religious traditions and settle for a new religious group. One of the disadvantages of choosing this option is that families of both individuals will be angered by their decision.
- Participating in multi-religions: In such a scenario, both individuals participate in the others' religious activity. For instance, a Hindu husband would visit his wife's church, while his Christian wife would accompany him to the temple. One of the major advantages of such an approach is that both individuals learn to respect their partner's religious beliefs and they understand the sacredness of each religion. Moreover, they learn and understand the various teachings of the other's religion.
- Diversifying: When both individuals are completely committed to their religious faith, they do not subject themselves to compromise. They neither partake in the celebrations or activities of their spouse's religion. Such an option is not always advisable to follow as it decreases the time that both individuals spend with each other and further creates a gap between them. Problems further arise once a child is born and each individual trying to force their religion onto their child.
- Doing absolutely nothing: Those individuals who are not religiously inclined, even though they do belong to a particular religion simply do nothing. They prefer to wait for a situation to arise and then only choose to handle it in the best way they possibly can.
All marriages have their difficult times, and inter-religion marriages are no exception. Difficulties may have nothing to do with one's religious difference, but there is a risk sometimes when there is conflict between one-another to feel that one's faith or cultural difference is in some sense a cause and that it's therefore in some way insuperable. It can also be tempting to escalate the tension by enlisting religion in the struggle, and to use its boundaries as an excuse for not communicating and not negotiating when one feel threatened. It's natural at times of stress or unhappiness to turn to whatever gives us our sense of safety and meaning, but when both partners retreat into the security of opposing 'fortresses of identity', it makes it harder to start
the process of addressing issues constructively.
Sometimes for couples who feel polarized there may be a 'credibility' gap – a feeling that any kind of relationship help coming from 'the other faith and culture' is going to side with one's partner or compound the problem, particularly if either of them have had some bad experiences from that side, or a general lack of support for their relationship. So it's important to find neutral support which both can agree on. The same can apply to informal channels of support – one may feel that family or friends are one-sided or he/she may simply not want to admit to them that he/she is struggling with anything in his/her relationship. The last thing one want to hear is the response: 'I told you so!', or to find the fact that one had an argument with his/her partner which opens the
floodgates of supportive criticism. It's crucial to remember that one's interests will be no better served than his/her partner's by turning your relationship struggles into a clash of civilizations. 😊This is particularly true where children are involved: there are no winners in such contests of identity when there are 'tug-of-love' situations. 😳 Interfaith relationships are not doomed to failure, but they do require thinking about. 😃 It is important to develop a relationship style that works for the couple concerned, where neither feels they have given up too much. 😊 For some couples the experience of forming a united front in the face of opposition provides a good foundation of commitment in the relationship. The process of thinking deeply about beliefs and attitudes, hopes for the future and relationships with family, tradition and community engenders the habit and skill of communication that is also a good basis for the future. Even major difficulties that some couples encounter in the early years – like negotiating between different family expectations or faith requirements for wedding ceremonies – can help in their bonding process as they create a unique 'shared space' of their own. 😳
The heart of an inter-religion marriage is a human relationship between two people; with all the complexities of faith rules and family politics, of big questions of identity and belief, this basic fact can sometimes get overlooked, and yet it's the relationship itself that brings people like MoMli together and will keep them together. Relationships are different and specific, so there isn't one transferable model that fits everybody. If at some point they have difficulty with an aspect of their relationship it can help them to be aware of common themes or patterns in how people relate, but then they should also remember that their relationship is a variation on those themes which is unique to the two of them 😳
All the best for MoMli 👍🏼
Cricket
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