Is Domestic Violence this casual in India?

Page

Next Last

Rupunzale

@Rupunzale

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

I live in USA and I work in a domestic violence shelter...I see victims of domestic violence and interact with them on a daily basis...in general women here are very aware of their rights and specially the laws. Women in general has zero tolerance towards any kind of violence against them or the children...there is a 911 service where anyone irrespective of women or men is protected by the law enforcement. If reported no one can get away with a crime and especially a crime like domestic violence or child abuse.

I am appalled at the fact that such haneous crime against women are been promoted in national television and is been treated so casually. Keeping in mind Zoya is an Indian American and very aware of her rights and surroundings hasn't shown to take any action against Asad...I know the circumstances and she might be feeling guilty...but the least I wanted to see was her out of the house. But looking at the SBS segment it looks like she will continue to stay in the house and has forgiven him.

So basically Ms Gul has successfully turned an extremely smart, independent and self respected woman like Zoya into a person with no self respect. Zoya was the reason I still kept on returning to watch QH but this whole scenario of domestic violence and Zoya's acceptance of this crime in return has shocked me.

I thought the mentality of Indian men towards women will change after the very dreadful and shocking incident that happened in Delhi...but, like many others I was wrong too...some things never change and unfortunately the state of affairs of women will not change either...women will be battered...tortured both mentally and physically...will keep on getting raped ...and maritally raped...there will be women feoticide...women will be killed for dowry...and such haneous crimes will continue because the women will not speak out or stand up for themselves in the very patriarchal and male chauvinistic society.

As a woman I am just grateful to my parents that they brought me far away from that society when I was 6 and has giving me the right and privilege to live a free life as a woman in USA. USA is not free of crimes or pesticides violence either...but here a woman is not stigmatized or is in fear to go to the police...here I know that if I am attacked...I have the liberty to call 911 and the police will find me in 10 minutes and will listen to me whether judging me.

We as women have a voice and in majority cases the voice is heard...so Ms Khan...you portraying as a woman who didn't stand up against domestic violence is not acceptable.

Quote

Frequent Posters

Yasmin

@Yazzi

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

I understand why she isn't leaving the house, she doesn't want to leave Dilshad in this situation - she's ready to forego her self-respect for a women who treated her like a child, who loved her and who she thinks of as a mother.

But I am upset at the fact that she seems to have forgiven and forgotten the fact that he did slap her. I watched the SBS segment and I was quite appalled. For a strong willed girl who knows her right I don't think she reacted accordingly, and like you mentioned she is from US and American girls have no qualms in fighting for their right, but I'm still holding on to the hope that she will speak up and she will put her point across and that she will get through Asad's hard head.

Also if India is like that I am so glad that I don't live there, I am proud to be a British girl! at least here we don't get oppressed, we have rights to speak up and our voice is heard.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

TheBoss

@TheBoss

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Yes unfortunately it does plague our society. Please check here a recent post of mine, I wrote it a sarcastic way.

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/debate-mansion/3413862/is-it-ok-to-be-a-wife-beater

Quote

Daayan Bai

@KunwaariDaayan

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Hi Prianka my dear...word to everything you've said and with you all the way on this!
You already know that I too work with women who suffer at the hands of such heionous crimes and at most times these women are scared to speak out and take a stand...hence giving into domestic violence,marital rape and all sorts in the name of culture and not wanting to be judged by society and all this is happnening in not just India but also in developed first world countries like England too.I have been born and brought up in London but I must also say that like yourself, here we also have the priviledge of the 999 emergency services to be at our service when required and yes they will listen and try to give us the very highest from of help possible and no the police wont try sweep things under the carpet at the behest of minister's or famous celebrities...money ahs no room to do the talikng here as we have a secure law system which has to abide by the rules or there are connsequences to be followed but in India such heinous crimes get put on the back burmer by the law itself or an intentional blind yes is turned in justice prevailing.
What really shocks me is when women themselves who would try give justifications on these heinous crimes and shamelessly go on to put another women under the limelight of humiliation and abuse.Do such women have no hearts or feelings towards their fellow women ?
Do they not feel the pain of another woman and not for once try to imagine themselves or their female family members in the place of those women and think for once how they would feel?
This is exactly the display of inhumanity and insensituvity we were getting on the forum yesterday regarding that slap, that a mockery was being made out of a woman's sentiments...glorifying manhandling as love...purely getting a high and a kick out of it all and even going as far as to say that the female lead deserved it!So called sick humour was being introduced as viewpoints and just simply a big laugh and joke were being made of the whole thing.I was simply shocked at this horrendous display from fellow woman who are quite educated and young too,that too on such a platfrom as India forums.It really made me shudder to think what the future of these young women will be like!

Btw...great post and consider myself lucky to have such a courageous woman like yourself as my friend!

Women world over really need to unite and work together on fighting this brutality and opression towards all woman kind.All froms of physical violence should be put an end to!

Quote

chicksoup

@chicksoup

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Rupunzale
I live in USA and I work in a domestic violence shelter...I see victims of domestic violence and interact with them on a daily basis...in general women here are very aware of their rights and specially the laws. Women in general has zero tolerance towards any kind of violence against them or the children...there is a 911 service where anyone irrespective of women or men is protected by the law enforcement. If reported no one can get away with a crime and especially a crime like domestic violence or child abuse.

I am appalled at the fact that such haneous crime against women are been promoted in national television and is been treated so casually. Keeping in mind Zoya is an Indian American and very aware of her rights and surroundings hasn't shown to take any action against Asad...I know the circumstances and she might be feeling guilty...but the least I wanted to see was her out of the house. But looking at the SBS segment it looks like she will continue to stay in the house and has forgiven him.

So basically Ms Gul has successfully turned an extremely smart, independent and self respected woman like Zoya into a person with no self respect. Zoya was the reason I still kept on returning to watch QH but this whole scenario of domestic violence and Zoya's acceptance of this crime in return has shocked me.

I thought the mentality of Indian men towards women will change after the very dreadful and shocking incident that happened in Delhi...but, like many others I was wrong too...some things never change and unfortunately the state of affairs of women will not change either...women will be battered...tortured both mentally and physically...will keep on getting raped ...and maritally raped...there will be women feoticide...women will be killed for dowry...and such haneous crimes will continue because the women will not speak out or stand up for themselves in the very patriarchal and male chauvinistic society.

As a woman I am just grateful to my parents that they brought me far away from that society when I was 6 and has giving me the right and privilege to live a free life as a woman in USA. USA is not free of crimes or pesticides violence either...but here a woman is not stigmatized or is in fear to go to the police...here I know that if I am attacked...I have the liberty to call 911 and the police will find me in 10 minutes and will listen to me whether judging me.

We as women have a voice and in majority cases the voice is heard...so Ms Khan...you portraying as a woman who didn't stand up against domestic violence is not acceptable.

Sweetheart,

Do check the definition of domestic violence. THEY ARE NOT A COUPLE YET.

You could call it a physical assault perhaps.

And in our POOR country, we do use it a lot when we feel like getting back at th einstigator.

Usually people get admitted in hospitals with fake wounds and get a wound report written.

Zoya did not do that because she felt like going to the mosque and praying for a woman who had been a mother to her.

Seriously, are you sure about your PROFESSION?(I don't mean to be derogatory, but I am appalled, you'd call a slap between two persons domestic violence when they are not even a couple. You could ask n no: of people here itself- they'd tell you they are not in love yet.)

May be the definitions are different for developing and developed countries.

Quote

Daayan Bai

@KunwaariDaayan

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

I am also really dissapointed in how Zoya's character is shaping up,from the once strong,corageous young woman who was not afraid stand up for her rights and the justice of other's has been reduced to this stereotype heroine that only knows hot to put up with opression,cry in silence and keep mum in the name of love...nothing new in in all and here I was thinking that this show was going to be breakthrough in breaking this never ending cycle in giving out a strong social message to the audience that violence doesn't pay,a stand should be taken...I seriously couldn't have been more wrong!

Edited by shaz2009 - 12 years ago

Quote

chicksoup

@chicksoup

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: shaz2009
Iam also really dissapointed in how Zoya's character is shaping up,from the once strong,corageous young woman who was not afraid stand up for her rights and the justice of other's has been reduced to this stereotype heroine that only knows hot to put up with opression and keep mum in the name of love...nothing hew in in all and here I was thinking that this show was going to be breakthrough in breaking this never ending cycle in giving out a strong social message to the audience that violence doesn't pay,a stand should be taken...I seriously couldn't have been more wrong!

Shaz,

I repiled to you in my thread earlier in the day.

It is alright if you are trying to prove a point. We get your point.

But do understand that the point is not relevant to the show at all. Asad has not been going around manhandling his leading lady. It was a fit of rage- you cannot justify anything you do when you are angry- thats why it is better to go and cool off in a room all by yourself.

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3423071

reduced to this stereotype heroine that only knows hot to put up with opression and keep mum in the name of love..

First of all, she has not been shown to be in love.

And she is keeping quiet only because someone is dying and that is more important then getting herself justice.

If you are really interested in the story- do wait and watch instead of jumping th egun and murdering the characters yourself.

How do you expect Zoya to respond?

a) Slap back? I bet you don't advocate that.

b) walk out.?: Not when phoophhi is still in danger- walking out would seem like thanklessness.

So Zoya keeps her indignation in the back of her mind (for the timebeing), decides to pray for phoophi which is WHAT ANY SENSIBLE PERSON'D do.

Lets wait n watch what she does.

Quote

Daayan Bai

@KunwaariDaayan

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

@ChicksoupFirst of let me tell you that I am not the one that is going onto assasinate the character's,Gul is doing a pretty goood job of that herself.I initially really liked and was intrigued by the Character of Asad untill that epsiode where he held her by the neck,but I still put it aside and gave his character a chance but yesterday that slap ansd you know it was not just a little slap,that was more a violent back hander in which Asad had no mercy along with that beastly,inhumane look he had to give...coolly,camly walking off without a look...that is not right in my books!Being angry and hurt does not give anyone the right to go around slapping and hitting people in order to vent out...it is not deemed fit in any way or else we'd have people world over just going around slapping and hitting people in afit of rage.Asad has been invibed with an good upbringing and culture by Dilshad who single handedly rised her two kids being asingle mum...so on seeing all that Asad shoud have been shown to raect in another way to calm his rage otehr than resorting to venting out his phisical aggression on a woman.God has given him amouth,he could have used it! A mouth is also a good weapon when in fit of rage.I never claimed that Zoya is in love but merely stated my views on a what a stereotypical heroine is made to do ansd it wont be long that Zoya's charcter will be taking that route...already she is keeping mum as she feels guilty of Dilsahd's situation which is understandable on thats ense but she does need to take a stand and leave the Khan household atleast when Dilshad gets better and yes she is a selfless person who wants to see good and happiness sof other's...she was shown praying...very touching scene and love it...soemthing which I was expecting at the very least from her character so thanks to Four Lions for keeping that part of Zoya's characetr intact.No I do not support Zoya slapping Asad adn have not stated that anywhere...so dnt go making accusations or trying to put words in my mouth.I do not support violence of any shape or form be it towards a man,women,child,elderly person or even an animal...violence is violence and a stand should be taken against it.I am not going to go and gloriry and justify violence of any sort in the mane of love and fan girl mode...no matter how much I like characecter as to em it is not morally right...make a mockery of anyone's sentiments and that wa sexactly what the majority of thw female members on this forum were doing...making likght of the slap,laughing and joking ,getting high and getting turned on by those. so called masculinity shown in the from of physical violence,My point is valid so dnt you go telling me it's not and the point of these so called fan girls are.The male lead slaps the female lead...a woman...I dnt agree! So my point is valid!
I may need to go cool myself off but you dear, should really go and have a long hard think on, whether you being true to yourself and whether you have a conscience at all!

Edited by shaz2009 - 12 years ago

Quote

whatthewhat

@whatthewhat

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

@Rapunzel

The problem of domestic violence is extremely pervasive in India. Women's groups have been fighting for better laws for decades. The Protection of Women against Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA) came as late as 2005! It was a landmark piece of legislation in many ways (such as bringing people who cohabit into the ambit of the law, not just married couples), but still leaves much to be desired.Not all states have even ratified it yet I believe!

Have you read about the recent ordinance that was passed by the govt. as a half-hearted adoption of the Verma committee report ? Can you believe that "marital rape" is still considered controversial in India?! They need to "debate" this before making it illegal! That is how behind we are.

Anyway, did you see the Sataymev Jayate episode on domestic violence? It was the second episode I think. It's worth watching to get a sense of how pervasive and casual it is and how it cuts across all communities and socio-economic groups.

It goes without saying that violence against women is a global reality, but we have a long way to go in India.

Edited by narangi314 - 12 years ago

Quote

Rupunzale

@Rupunzale

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: chicksoup

Sweetheart,
Do check the definition of domestic violence. THEY ARE NOT A COUPLE YET.
You could call it a physical assault perhaps.
And in our POOR country, we do use it a lot when we feel like getting back at th einstigator.
Usually people get admitted in hospitals with fake wounds and get a wound report written.
Zoya did not do that because she felt like going to the mosque and praying for a woman who had been a mother to her.

Seriously, are you sure about your PROFESSION?(I don't mean to be derogatory, but I am appalled, you'd call a slap between two persons domestic violence when they are not even a couple. You could ask n no: of people here itself- they'd tell you they are not in love yet.)
May be the definitions are different for developing and developed countries.

sweetheart...let me explain what domestic violence is and it's different categories...it's called domestic violence when a person is inflicted pain or torture living under the same roof...and here Zoya lives in Asad's house.

I am appalled by the fact that you think slapping someone doesn't fall in the category of violence? What does violence mean for you dear? Does a women has to get raped and battered red and blue for the crime to be categorized as violence?

I would suggest you to think before writing anything in my post or arguing with other members on violence because here we are trying to have a matured conversation on a serious issue...I don't want someone like you who thinks that slapping is alright for a woman to endure.

I am respectfully asking you to respect others...and the opinion's of others...you can of-course participate in a discussion if you can leave your sarcasm outside.

Quote

1 2

Is Domestic Violence this casual in India?

Related Topics

Explore Topics