Door number 28 - a MG SS (completed) - Page 3

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kaamchorni thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
#21
An air of mystery... me gusta mucha...

I like these little snippets. They're very much... hmm, how do I put it? Like being completely immersed in your thoughts while staring out at the rain from a window and having a warm but threadbare shawl around you. This was how I felt from the very first chapter, so you can understand my surprise when I read the first sentence of this one.

Pick a flower, preferably delicate, preferably white, and imagine it steadily blooming, almost bursting into life in slow motion. That is how I want to see this story unfold. That is why I will not speculate the why's and how's. Take me along with you, Fozia, and show me a new world.

I have an infinite amount of love for stories set in Calcutta. I would love to see a few Bengali words mixed into this delight you're creating. If you will permit, I am at your service :)
babelicious thumbnail
Visit Streak 500 Thumbnail 13th Anniversary Thumbnail + 7
Posted: 12 years ago
#22
very intriguing ! haven't got a clear picture yet, cont soon..would love to read it😊 ! One more thing, could u pls increase the font size?
dreamy4ever thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
#23
Wow me loving tis. Very very Interestg,mysterious & awesome too 😊
609931 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#24
I'm being very quiet and elusive about this story because I have to be in order to maintain the feel and atmosphere needed for this tale to work. So, no pms will be sent for this - simply bookmark or leave a comment for it to show up in 'My posts'

Also, thanks to those who are reading it and giving it a go, I really appreciate it and I hope the story satisfies you as it continues :)

P.S. apologies if the small font is causing issues, I've made it larger and easier to read now.

P.P.S Zarin I will require your Bengali expertise for the next few updates so keep an eye out for a PM my darling ;) thank you!
Edited by walkintomylifex - 12 years ago
640638 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#25
Loving the story so far.
Intriguing characters. I somehow am liking the stories nowadays where they already know each other. It is like a rubix cube to figure out what happened where with whom.
Do continue soon.
New story cannot mean less updates for PTB otherwise my protesting will start😆
Thanks Fozia for keeping us engaged.
Craziest_MG thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
#26
hmmm ...interesting
Something is missing ...lol
609931 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#27
The darkness enveloped them again for another night.

From the distance, where he stood leaning against the wall, he saw her silhouette moving around in the shadows, the silhouette somehow reaching him, calling out to him, like it had done all those years ago...

How he wished he could reach out and touch her once more, feel her once more, just be with her. To lie beside her, breathe in her scent, watch her mouth move in fascinating ways as she narrated another story of her daily life.

But it was impossible to do so, and it always would be. All he could do, all she could do, all they could do was feel each other's essence from afar. Because something was better than nothing.

***

She knew he was watching, as he had known last night when she was watching.

They had always been attuned to each other, and how ironic that they continued to be, even in the state that they were both confined to for endless eternity.

Her eyes searched for him, for a glimpse of his shadow, for she was sure that he was being treated to the sight of her being - so why wasn't she granted the same privilege? Frustrated beyond no means, she stood beside the window sill again, hoping he'd roam the night once more in her shawl.

The mind wandered back to their encounter that morning, when he'd stopped by to give her the tea. Her off handish behaviour was simply her love - it always had been her way of expression towards him, and he'd come to accept it. Albeit, it had taken apologies and never ending pecks along his stubble in the past to pacify his stubborn mood and to rid his forehead of the small frown that appeared whenever he was annoyed with her...

It never ceased to amaze her how he refused to let her go, back then and even now, even though they were never going to be as one in the same way again.

Later that afternoon, the warm sun had beckoned to her as the rays tantalised her apartment, so she'd stepped out onto the porch, watching as the middle aged lady that lived between them hung out her washing to dry. The sprays of water littered everywhere, threatening to touch her with their flying drops but always avoiding her skin.

And sure enough, behind the swaying fabric of the washing line, there he was - watching with fascination and a small smile lingering on his lips.

Geet stepped away from the window sill, leaning back against the wooden frame and heaving a sigh. Why had she come here, of all places? Why had she chosen to be close to him once more, to be near yet afar?

The answer was simple. She'd always be near to him, yet afar. She had to be, in order to survive the fate she had been given. Wherever he roamed, she would follow. Wherever he resided, she would find an opening and settle down. Whenever he'd move on the next day, not leaving a trace of him behind, she'd do the exact same.

For Maan was Geet's, and Geet was Maan's.

In sickness and in health, until death do them part.

And even after death did do them part.

***

It was almost sunrise when he finally gathered the courage to step out onto the porch, his eyes fixated on her door.

He counted silently to 5, when sure enough, she stepped out, her hair playing with the wind softly as it fell in a long mane down her back.

"One touch," he whispered.

"We can't."

"I haven't felt the warmth of your skin in so long."

"We'll disappear. This way, we can still be together."

"We've been assigned this feeling forever, Geet. I can't live forever without holding your hand."

"What if we can never be together after this? What if you disappear and I can never find you?"

"You'll always find me."

"Maan, please. Don't do this."

"Don't you trust me?"

"With all of my soul."

"Then come closer. Whatever happens, we'll still be in here," he placed a hand on his chest, where his heart had stopped beating 2 years ago.

Tentatively, she took a step towards him, and he mirrored her actions. Looking into his deep eyes, the pure love reflected there gave her the courage to take a few more steps further, as he did the same.

They came to a stop outside door number 27, the residence of the middle aged lady.

He raised his palm in the air, and her hand shook as she slowly began to meet his skin. The anticipation in the air was amplifying and it sent a shiver in the air, as her fingers slowly met his.

Their hands passed through each other into the air; Maan held an expression of confusion whilst Geet's eyebrows furrowed. Then they glanced at each other and smiled, as his hand curled around hers, until it couldn't be seen where their hands began and ended.

"We are still one, even though it is our souls meeting, not our bodies," he spoke quietly, as the sun slowly rose and the birds sang their praises for the arrival of another day.

The souls began to fade away, as their legs gave way to their torsos, their arms and then their smiling faces as they meshed with the air and melted with the breezy wind, to another town and another sunrise where they could steal a few more moments as their own.

The lady's door flew open with the sudden gust of their departure, and she scurried out of bed, her gown wrapped tightly around her. She glanced left and right, only to see the opened door of apartment number 28 swaying in the wind, its hinges creaking with every movement.

"How strange," she muttered, folding her arms over her chest. "Number 28's not been occupied for years, then how..." She shook her head, smiling at her own foolishness. "Savita, you must still be dreaming."

She padded inside, leaving the door slightly ajar, as door number 28 continued creaking, leaving behind the tale of an eternal love.

The End.


Downhill thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#28
never in my wildest dreams i had thought that the story would end like this...but this was really heartwarming and gave me goosebumps too, probbaly beacuse i am reading this during ungodly hours... hope i dont dream of spirits hovering over me

loved ur story👏
640638 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#29

She'd always be near to him, yet afar. She had to be, in order to survive the fate she had been given. Wherever he roamed, she would follow. Wherever he resided, she would find an opening and settle down. Whenever he'd move on the next day, not leaving a trace of him behind, she'd do the exact same.

How simply heart touching! An answer to all lovers out there who would never wish even death to part them.
You won't leave me unless I let you, you will stay in my breath, reside in my eyes and your love will flow through my veins forever and ever even if death does us part.
This has to be one of the sweetest love stories I have read.
Take a bow Fozia!
I enjoyed it a lot.
👏👏
Edited by had2bu - 12 years ago
Krishnaluv94 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#30
That was completely unexpected! I don't know what to say. Amazing!

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