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And so smiled Zoe at her Zorro, holding his hand in her palm and smiling like a tubelight.
Yes, poora Z ban gaya hai aur yahi saari musibat ki jadh hai. And its not just his hand, Zoe. Its his mind, his heart and his existence that is being overtaken by you. Just like your fixation with Asad ever since you entered this house, his mind and heart are being fixated with you . And NO. That was never a part of Asad's plan. You, the feelings you evoke , none of it was Asad's plan.
From this failure of Asad's prim-propah life plan comes a very basic fact about Asad that is tough to understand and digest , but not impossible to believe. Not everyone rejoices at the first brush of love. Not everyone gets the pinch-pink glow on the cheeks, and eyes with surreal stars and a laugh reverberating from the soul when in love. Not everyone goes into a flash forward of Disney meadows and happily-ever-afters when in love. Not everyone waits by the clock in the wait of that elusive soulmate...
There are others. Others, who don't think that the heart is anything more than a muscle whose job is to pump blood. Others, who think like C.S Lewis that to love is to be vulnerable. Others, who are ready to live a cold magnificent life centered around lonely dinner tables and soul-deafening silence but they will never let anyone have the power to move them, to hurt them, to tear them apart and overrule them. Others, who plan and live a life step-by-step where they are their own control freaks and nobody else gets to decide the rates of their heartbeats. Others, who are so scared and anxious on the inside of being hurt and spurned in love that they wear the strongest armour on the outside. Others, who condition their mind, every nerve in their body so that they heart doesn't ever come to know what being 'unconditional' means.
Here, Asad comes from the genepool of OTHERS.
The fight between him and Zoe was forced . Forced by Asad in a situation which was warmed by Zoe's compassionate words, genuine apologies and her hope that she and Asad could at least be friends. Can Asad take that warmth and that hand of compassion and friendship? No. He cannot. Because he is 'not everyone. He is 'others'. Warming to Zoe would mean slowly surrendering to what he fears and what he cannot allow to happen. So, what is better than reverting to the original rudeness and ideology fights? He can take Zoe screaming at him and calling him a MCP , but he cannot take her 'I am sorry' marathon and run off with a million 'Its Okays' lest she sees in his eyes what he is trying to fight. He can try his best to go back to their old banter but he cannot make an effort to accept her niceness.
Can they go back to their original fights without sentiment? Tough job. Asad's uncomfortable physical proximity to Zoe , his quiet pauses when Zoe mock-accuses him of writing her name on his hand, Zoe's realization of what she has just said and the 'whatever' cover up, Zoe stealing expectant yet disappointed glances at Asad when she tells Tamaatar that she is going out and Asad's fake indifference even as Zoe waits that maybe he will say something - these plug-ins of feelings have taken the pinch away from their fights. Its more like they need to fight either to talk to each-other or else hurt each-other because they are hurting on the inside.
I think the loveliest moment was Zoe pulling Asad's hand from his across-chest posture and laughing as she held it in her palm and realized its a Z. Not a single moment of hesitance. It seemed like it is such a natural thing for her to do.
Asad and Zoe are each-other's habit now . A habit that neither can do without and is seeping into the heartbeats. Asad can hear the heartbeats while Zoe hears them in bits and pieces as Asad's anger trumpet kills the music most of the time.
Par koi kya kar sakta hai. Asad Miyaa toh Mrs. Chulbul Pandey ki class ke nikle. Inhe thappad se nahiin, pyaar se dar lagtaa hai. 🤣
P.S- The last Thursday episode of QH ( before MS) had rated a 3.4😊
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