OS Try

"Do you ever feel like just running far away from here, from everything, and just being anything and everything you've ever wanted to be?" She leaned carelessly against the steel rails holding her from the three hundred feet drop down towards the bustling city below them. She stole a glance back at her companion, fighting against the strong winds blowing mindlessly around them.

"Then why don't we go right now? You said it yourself, anything we want, and anywhere we want." He took the step towards her, spreading his arms out against the sky. A small smile graced his lips as he cocked his head to his side, quirking his right eyebrow towards the brunette in front of him.

She giggled, looking from him back towards the city. Her hands still clasped onto the cold metal beams as she gazed out towards the horizon out ahead. "Sweetie, I was joking. Life's not that simple that we can up sticks and just run away just like that."

He wound his arms around her waist, pulling her small form closer towards him as he pressed a small kiss towards her temple. "Well Baby, I on the other hand was being completely serious. Maybe it's time to ditch this path and finally start our journey, together. It beats all the secrecy, guilt, heartbreak and pain any day."

She leaned her head against his chest in his embrace, silently contemplating his words as her eyes drifted towards the small diamond ring on her finger. "I should be getting married in four weeks… I – I really don't know if I could do it."

He followed her gaze towards her hand, moving his hand from her waist to the band on her finger. He traced the ring whilst nuzzling into her hair, inhaling her sweet scent. "Running away or the wedding?"

She turned in his arms, avoiding his gaze as she chose instead to stare at the buttons of his coat. "…Both. If I leave, then I'm betraying everyone and everything I've been brought up with. But if I don't… There's no way I could love anyone else; I couldn't ruin his life, my life and your life like that."

He gently placed a finger under her chin, lifting her face towards him as he brushed a finger across her colourless cheeks. "I meant it Love; a new year, a new start. The first time I met you, your smile, it instantly captivated me and I somehow knew it was love. Somewhere along this road, that smile, the spark in your eyes, the life in your being – it's fading. I'll travel to the ends of the world just to bring it all back, but whatever you've lost, it's not here; it hasn't been here for a long time."

She looked away from his ebony eyes, slightly pulling away from his gentle touch. "But your family… You love them more than anything. Your Ma, she wouldn't be able to live without you. Your Dadaji, Chacha, Chachi… Your brother; will he ever be able to forgive you?"

He took a deep breath, moving away from her to rest his arms against the metal barriers. He dipped his head down into his palms, going over her words in his mind. "It'll hurt… a lot… Ma will probably never be able forgive me and he – God knows what he'd do." He clenched his hands into fists as he lifted his head towards the bustling city below them. He turned suddenly, startling her as he softly held her hands. "But I – I can't live like this. The fear of losing you, the fear of not being able to live up to the Vadhera name, the fear of not being me – who I want to be… I know I'm being selfish, but life without you is a life that I don't want."

She looked between their entwined hands and his eyes, trying to collect her thoughts. "I fell in love with you because you were the most selfless man I've ever met. You lived for others, putting yourself last but I don't know whether it's time for you to start being selfish for yourself or whether the man that I love is changing into someone that I won't be able to recognise. Deep down, I had this belief that somehow our love would sustain me; the love we shared would see us through the pain of parting ways, but I – I didn't expect…"

He furrowed his eyebrows together as her hands slowly slipped from his fingers. "I don't understand – you've stopped loving me, you don't want to be with me or what?" His eyes bore into her small figure as he felt a sudden drop in his stomach.

She shook her head slowly, trying her best to reassure him with whatever patchwork words she could produce from her mind. "I love you, never doubt that, but I don't know if the man you are or are turning into is the man I want to be with because you've changed so much. I used to think that love could conquer all, but I don't know anymore…"

He took a moment to take in her words, a slight tinge of disbelief clouding his thoughts. He bit his lip nervously, dreading where they were both going. He opened his mouth, unsure of what to say before letting out the question burning into his mind. "So where does that leave us?"

Taking a step back, she inhaled a deep breath before moving her gaze back up to his eyes. She could feel a tang of sadness run through her body as his eyes gave away the array of emotions swimming through his head. Softly, she spoke up, uncertainty laced in her voice: "I just need some space." He chuckled softly, averting her gaze as his hands found their way into his coat pockets.

Her heart broke as she found herself looking in the mirror; the man she loved seemed alien to her with his lifeless smile and empty eyes. She found herself uttering the only two words that made any sort of sense in that moment: "I'm sorry."