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Goodbyes are beginnings : Part 1
Note : the place imagined here is NewYork City.
Christmas time was back. Christmas times always meant happy times. will something happier would happen in my life too ? I asked silently staring the tiny balls of snow which was shedding down to the earth. I sat near my window sofa and stared blankly outside. All I could see was bells, colors, lights, Christmas tree and gifts! There were numerous santa claus running around the town sharing happiness. I still believed I would get my gift wrapped up by santa himself.
I got dressed up into a peach coloured knee length outfit. A thin silver necklace lining my neck and a small diamond studded earing. Nothing more nothing less!
My mom came into my room as if searching something. She was all dressed up and had also wore her coat. She looked at me and grinned. I smiled. She came to me kissing my forehead she said "looking gorgeous as ever sweetheart!". "thanku mamma!" I said hugging her.
She left me and started searching again. "mom are you searching something ? need any help ?" I asked. "darling I think I left my spectacles somewere" she frowned glancing everywhere. I chuckled and went upto her. Made her stand straight and handed her specs which upon her head. She bit her tongue. "okay dear I am going off for my work. I have a night shift" she said. I twitched my nose. I didn't like her working hard day and night when I had started working.
"mom.." I trailed off. "no don't start dear! I know what are you hinting at. But lemme do this. I love my job as a nurse. I love it and trust me on that!" she hugged me again and left.
I know she loves her job. But I love you mom. I sighed.
I opened the large box where lied a small Christmas tree. I took it out and decorated it gently. It was so precious to me. He had gifted it to me on the last Christmas we shared 2years ago.
Its been 2 years now. And this is 2nd Christmas without him. everything felt so incomplete!
I went towards the drawer and pulled out a photo frame. It was of him and me. Reyaansh.
Rey and Me were high school sweethearts. I met him in primary during my 5th grade. Some senior had tried to bully him, while he punched them back. During the commotion his tiffin had shattered away. Later he was left alone. Since he was new to school, and first day he was in for a fight no one talked to him. and moreover he got detention along with that senior. He was kind of sad that day. I remember his pout even today! During the lunch hour I sat next to him and touched the small wound on his hand. He shivered as my hand made in contact with his skin. I smiled at him and banded his wound. He didn't utter a word until then. I also shared my lunch with him, he had simply smiled again. This time heartfull smile. With wide grin plastered on his face and then he ran. Before running away he had mumbled thanks. And I liked his voice.
That's how our friendship started. He wasn't close to any girls in school. I was his only female friend! And I was glad about that. He did get large female attention but he least bothered. As years roled on he got an easy access to my house. My mom loved his gestures and talks. He was naughty kid!! But he was the best!
I did visit his house a number of times but I never saw his parents! I met only dhai jaan who was his caretaker and very very sweet lady! She loved my mom too.
I had slowly started falling for him, the age didn't help either. There was always a spark whenever we were close. My heart raced and my hands went numb whenever he was near. When I turned 16 he gifted me a necklace and proposed me, my fav place the lake side. He said "kria, I think I have fallen for you. If anyone knows me better then that's only and only you kria. I don't care about the world or my age. All what matters to me is you! Will you be my girlfriend ?"
I was nervous. I was speechless! I didn't know what to answer. That day I just left him without an answer. I know he would be worried but I didn't want our relationship to be bitter. Same day I had told mom about everything. She just smiled that I never hided anything from her and literally came to ask her permission to say yes. that day she told me "your world's best daughter! I trust you and your decisions. Answer him what your heart says!". I just ran from my place after I heard those from my mom. I knew he would be still in the same place kind of heart broken. I smiled when I saw him sitting in one of the rocks with that pout on his face. I screamed yes and hugged him tight. He was taken aback in the beginning later he hugged me back taking me off the ground.
Everything was going good. Our first love confession when we turned 18. Our first kiss the same day. Every little moments we shared was a bliss. Until and unless the day came.
It was farewell party after our 12th grade. Just 2 months after our love confession. Everything was fine until rey received his dad's call. I never saw him speaking to his dad before. He was kind of rude from what I could see, I couldn't hear him though.
He had dashed out of the party after he finished talking. He didn't spare me glance. I was worried. I tried to call him, message him all through the night. But his phone was out of reach.
Next day he visited me. Saying that his dad wanted him to go back to india. it didn't seem like a big deal for me, but rey was hesitant to go back. I wasn't sure what he was afraid off. Somehow I persuaded him in going back india. I looped my arms into his all the while our drive to airport. When he had a little time to wait, he spent it in just staring at me. I didn't know what he wanted to say. For the first time I couldn't read his eyes. once when he had to leave, he hugged me tight. I felt he had tears in his eyes which he brushed off. But my tears had already started brimming. He cupped my face kissed my forhead and said "you're the best and the only beautiful thing that could happen in my life. Good bye kria." he said and left. Not a single word after that. And I was standing there like dumbstruck! I didn't understand his words until I realized he would never be back again.
His dhai jaan had visited me later that evening to inform me he would never be back. I was shocked. I wanted to runaway. I wanted to find him. I wanted him to answer my questions!! I wanted to know how can he just leave me like that without telling me anything ?? what was that suppose to mean ? should I wait ? should I move on ?? dhai jaan had told me "move on darling. He will not come back. Even if he wants to, he cannot!" when I asked for the reason she said she didn't nothing more than this. I was broken at the instant. I asked whether he wants me to move on. She just nodded yes. and I felt my heart died then and there. he could have just told me! That's all I wanted. I wouldn't even stopped him.
2 years passed by. I had turned 20 this November. I thought he would come and wish me. But he never came back. It was a GoodBye!
I gently caressed the Christmas tree. I could feel his touch in it. how he helped me in decorating it years before. Tears welled up in my eyes.
"Christmas season of blessings.." I said as I placed the Christmas tree near the side table next to window-side-sofa.
"I believe goodbyes are beginnings" I said to myself, as if saying it to him.
***
part two is the last part. ill update asap! đ
you can read it in my blog too..!
blog address : http://namsworks.blogspot.in/
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