RK's diary V: Madhu you cannot be RK!

I cudn't get over the shock that Madhu donated me blood to save my life, just then Bittu G entered and told me abt how she went bare foot to Siddhivinayak to pray for my life...i was amused, i was shocked but cudnt say anything, i was speechless for the first time!
I was sleeping and suddenly i heard Madhu shouting and as i opened my eyes i saw Madhu stuggling with a masked guy who had knief in his hand...he pushed Madhu aside and tried to attack on me...i held the knief and struggled with him...i was too weak to fight with one hand...he ran away injuring my hand...Madhu ran behind him
She came back and looked worriedly at my hands...she called up Bittu G and he came...i was damn angry and scolded Bittu G for the poor security arrangements
This is the 3rd time Madhu has saved my life...how will I ever b able to pay back for what she did for me? how?...just then Madhu entered all worried for me and i made a mocking comment to her that not to worry as nothing will happen to me as she is there to protect me...she didn't react and even after my no, she was adamant on nursing my wound...i stopped her again - my NO means NO!...but she did not listen and did first aid on my wound, just the way i had done for her on that studio night...she even tried to copy the same dialogs i had told her then - "u dont know how deep the wound is...mayb that knief is rusty and what if the infection spreads, then"...she stopped...I asked her to complete my dialog...if she wants to copy RK, do it fully...say that - u will cut my hand...and she instantly snapped back - shut up! dont talk rubbish..
I gave her sarcastic look - Madhu, u cannot b RK!
I was back home now and sleeping on my bed in my own room...suddenly Madhu's sobbing woke me up...she was looking at me and crying besides me on the bed...i was amused, i was touched...i was touched by her compassion...i wanted to wipe her tears but i cudn't...i was unable to do that..
If u defame me, i can defame ur life...if u insult me, i can insult u with interest...but if u love me, i cannot love u back...i simply cannot!...i gave her tissue to wipe her tears...dunno why but i cannot see her crying like this...so i shared a part of my treasured memory with her which i dont share with anyone...i told her how my father taught me not to think abt the wounds and cry...and she understood my hint that i dont want her to cry over my wounds...but the irony here is i myself is not able to follow his advice...no matter how much i try, i cannot stop crying over the wounds in my heart...it haunts me every night like a nightmare...
And what is she crying over? these physical wounds?...my wounds go much deeper than this...i can never overcome the wounds which r there in my heart...i blame myself for my father's death...Madhu tried again to make me believe that it wasn't my fault and i cud recall the memory what happened in hospital the other night which i was not able to recall the next morning...i told her now i remember everything i told her in my sleep and i know what she told me that time...so not to try to make me believe things which i cannot believe
I was not able to thank her for what she did for me and she smiled...it was much beyond just saying thank you...i hurt myself again while going back to bed...and she again with all her concern tried to help me...i refused her help...she has already done enough for me which am not able to return to her...i cannot accept more help from her...i snapped back - i can go to my bed without any help...but again she was adamant on helping me and reminded me of that blood she gave me by saying that we have same blood in our nerves and share the same stubborness...i cud not help getting affected my her care and compassion for me...

Madhu: Kaisa ishq yeh kaisa junoon hai maahi
RK: Tera ishq hi mera junoon hai maahi
Madhu: Beqarari mein tu hi karaar...
RK: Bekari ka hai ye karaar...
Madhu: Tu reh Ke bhi door, Mujh mein hai rabba
RK: Kuch kehna mujhe yeh pyaas hai rabba
Madhu: Jaane yeh kaisa pyaar...
RK: Jaane ye kaisa pyaar...