The two figures stand still as the minutes tick by. The man is helplessly rooted to his spot while the woman goes on staring searchingly at the dead screen of the television. Silence hangs heavy in the room where the air was resounding with the noise of the television not too long ago. Watching her reaction when his bhai had flashed his engagement ring, has confirmed to Aakash that there was definitely some implication of Arnav's actions. And so, he is looking at his sister-in-law with concerned eyes, thinking about her breakdown of the morning and wondering if she had lapsed into shock again.
Khushi has no idea when the press conference has finished or when the television was switched off. She is staring at the blank screen but isn't seeing it anymore. Instead, the vision of Arnav's ring finger being displayed to the public is replaying itself as if in a loop. She was in shock alright but she wasn't going to keel over again. Rather, a whirlpool of thoughts were cooking up a storm in her head.
Wordlessly, Khushi walks out of Aakash's room as if in a trance and walks towards the room that Roopmati had opened for her on the top floor. Woh angoothi... woh Arnavji ki angoothi thi. Woh angoothi jo humne unhe pehnai thi... Jo unhone utaar di thi... Khushi closes her eyes revisiting the day she had gone to Shantivan to return her Shagun. Arnav didn't have his ring on his finger that day. Unhone woh angoothi utar di thi... Khushi feels a lump forming in her throat as she remembers the heart wrenching pain she had felt when she had seen his bare finger. Unhone woh angoothi utar di thi...
She walks down the corridor and opens the door of her room. Had she paused and turned around, she would have seen an extremely worried looking Aakash following her a few paces behind. Khushi firmly closes the door shut behind her and stands still leaning her back against the door, staring up at the ceiling. Amongst everything that had hurt Khushi post the breaking up of her wedding, the realisation that Arnav had decided to end all ties with her had hit her the hardest; she was still holding on to her ring that time, almost as if it was a part of her. Her impulsive decision to return her ring had been fuelled by the anguish that was coursing through her body that moment.
She slowly slides down against the door and sits on the floor, an uncertainty now gripping her. Agar Arnavji ne angoothi pehni hui hai, iska matlab... iska matlab ki humne uss din jo kiya, woh sab ek galatfehmi... Khushi feels restless just by entertaining the thought in her mind. If it really was a misunderstanding then... then how was she any different from Arnav? She had blindly jumped into making a conclusion without asking, without clarifying, without talking... Suddenly feeling suffocated and breathless, Khushi stands up and crosses her room in three long strides. She opens the door on the other side and is surprised for a moment to see that it leads to a similar balcony like the one in her jeejaji's room.
Feeling momentarily relieved, she rushes out to breathe some fresh air. She stops at a spot and sits down on the hard cold floor. It was a pleasant evening, with a slightly chilly breeze flowing. Khushi folds her knees and hugs them, resting her at the bend of her legs. She takes a deep breath in an attempt to clear her mind but fails. Instead her interlocked hands fiddle with the fingers. Suddenly she stops and withdraws her left hand and lifts her head as she brings it closer to her eyes. The faint depression was still present on her ring finger. She touches it with her other hand; the place where once her ring rested. It's strange; can a missing piece of jewellery make one feel so melancholic? It can; because it was no ordinary jewellery, it was a part of her. It was her identity, or had been, that she belonged to someone, that her heart belonged to someone.
She slowly lies down on the floor, resting her head against the rigid cold granite and raises her hand up against the background of the countless stars that blanketed the sky. She goes on staring her ring finger as she feels a sense of hollowness growing in her heart. Aur ab, hum kuch bhi nahin hain... A lone tear courses sideways from her eye and disappears into her dense mess of hair. She doesn't bother wiping it off for she doesn't know how many more were to follow. She finally rests her hand on her chest, right over her heart. She wasn't supposed to feel this way. She had promised herself she won't feel this way. She won't feel alone all over again.
She gazes at the stars twinkling down at her trying to distract her thoughts from snowballing further. There was indeed something serenely blissful about lying like that on the floor watching the multitude of the glittering bodies. Khushi keeps still watching the night skies, and loses herself in time.
*
[Much later at night]
"How long has she been out here?" her ears pricked on hearing the familiar angry voice but she kept her eyes firmly shut. Hum sapna dekh rahe hain, she tells herself.
"I don't know Bhai," responded an apologetic voice. "Maine jab Khushiji ko last dekha tha, woh press conference ke baad apne aap ko apne kamre mein lock kar rahi thi" The first voice groaned at hearing this reply.
"That was 6 hours ago, Aakash!" he muttered frustratedly. "To Khushi tab se aise balcony ki floor pe padi hui thi?" the second voice didn't reply anything and a blissful silence stretched from there on. Khushi kept her eyes closed. Hmmm... sapna hi hai Khushi. So ja, she reiterates and sinks into darkness.
Arnav looks worriedly at the cold limp body of Khushi lying on his bed. She has curled herself into a foetus position despite the thick blankets he has put all around her to warm her up. She's shivering slightly too, but she looks deep in sleep; the entire duration from the moment Arnav had picked her up from the cold floor of the balcony to the him walking to his room holding her in his arms, she hadn't budged an inch or opened an eyelid.
Arnav caresses Khushi's cold face now, looking at her with soft worried eyes. Just then a bleary eyed Roopmati walks into the room with a pile of blankets in one arm and holding a jug of water in her free hand . Arnav mutely points to the chair next to the dressing table, indicating her to keep the blankets there. Roopmati obeys and then comes to stand next to the bed watching Khushi sleeping. Arnav sighs.
"Roopmati, Aakash, please ye baat hum apne beech rakhein to acha rahega. Mujhe nahin pata Khushi ne itni badi stupidity ka kaam kyun kiya par I don't want Di or getting worried. Di ka bas chalega to woh bhaagte bhaagte yahan tak aa jayengi," Roopmati smiles at the angry concern of Arnav towards his sister's pregnant state. She and Aakash both nod at Arnav.
"Arnav baba, aapko aur kuch chahiye?" Roopmati asks reverentially. Arnav shakes his head. She quietly leaves. Aakash clears his throat.
"I'm really sorry Bhai. Aapne mujhse kaha tha Khushiji ka khayal rakhne ke liye, par maine-" Arnav looks at his younger brother looking really upset that he had not kept his promise. Arnav squeezes his shoulder gently.
"No Aakash, I'm sorry ki main tum par aise gussa ho gaya. You could only keep an eye on Khushi as long as she was in front of your eyes," Arnav says and his gaze goes back to Khushi who still looks pale. "Galti meri hai. Mujhe lucknow se jana hi nahin chahiye tha," Arnav mumbles in a hollow voice. Both the Raizada brothers look at Khushi regretfully. Then Aakash murmurs something about Arnav getting his rest and leaves the room leaving Arnav to tend to Khushi.
Arnav had reached from the airport just over half an hour ago. When he had enquired to Aakash about Khushi, he was told that she had retired for the night. Arnav had been disappointed; he had wanted to meet Khushi and talk to her if possible. It had been a pure stroke of luck that Arnav thought his room felt too stuffy due to being locked up in his absence and had decided to open the door leading out to the balcony to let some breeze in.
He had opened the door and had noticed an odd looking lump lying in the middle of the balcony. At first he had thought it was probably clothes that had been hung up to dry but had got loose from the wires and piled up on the floor. But then he had ventured outside to the large balcony common to all the rooms of the 2nd floor, to catch a glimpse of the starry night, a sight he rarely got to see back in Delhi, and he had a chance to inspect the pile. He had frozen in shock when he realised the "pile" was actually breathing, and even more so when he noticed the long hair.
It had taken all of a fraction of a second for the horrific realisation to hit him.
Arnav shuts the door after Aakash left and quickly changes into his night clothes. Khushi is sleeping almost in the centre of the bed which meant there is not much space left on either side for Arnav to rest. So he drags the wooden rocking chair at the end of the room and places it next to the bed. He then sits gingerly on the bed by Khushi's side and feels her forehead to check if she was hot with fever. Her skin feels cold to him, too cold. He parts the blanket exposing her bare feet and touches the soles. They were cold too. Arnav's brows furrow in a frown. Cold feet would make her catch a cold. He walks to the cupboard and starts looking in the drawers for something. Finally after a minute of searching, he walks back to the bed and sits by Khushi's foot. He slowly extracts one foot and rolls one of his black socks onto it. He repeats the same with the other foot. He then rubs the soles as gently as he can without disturbing her sleep to make them slightly warm. He pulls the blanket back on her feet and tucks her in.
Arnav then sits back, resting his back against one of the pillars of his bed, watching over Khushi with sad eyes. Everytime we meet, I find her like this; either she's broken, or she's hurt, or she is sick, Arnav realises as he keeps one hand over the blanket. He had wished he could hold her or touch her, but this was not the right time. He wouldn't do it to an almost unconscious Khushi. It seemed downright perverted. No, he'll just beside her and watch her sleep, he'll be there if she needs anything during the night but he won't get close to her, despite his need to just... hold her once...
Khushi shifts a little, mumbling incomprehensible words and then relapses into her comatose sleep. Arnav sees her hand extracting from the blanket and he inches closer to her to put it back inside the blanket when he notices it. The fingers, palm down, are holding the soft blanket in a half formed fist. The fingers of her left hand. And it really doesn't need a hawkeyed scrutiny to see the faint depression on the ring finger. Arnav freezes for a moment as he gazes at the finger and then looks back up at Khushi's beautiful face.
Iss angoothi ka ek matlab hai Arnavji. Ye angoothi ek rishte ki nishaani hai. Aur jab humare beech woh rishta baki hi nahin raha, to ab iss angoothi ko kyun pehen na? Hai na, Arnavji?"
He feels a lump rising in his throat as he remembers the words Khushi had said to him the last time they had met in his bedroom. He remembers how she had struggled to remove the ring from her finger as if the weight was becoming too much to bear with every moment. Arnav's gaze comes back to Khushi's bare ring finger before looking back to his own. Hamare beech rishta phir banega Khushi, aur tab tumhari ring jewellery nahin hogi. Main uss ring ko phir se ek matlab doonga, I promise you Khushi, Arnav promises to himself.
He feels a familiar old ache resurging in his heart. He extends his arm and touches her fingers. His hand hovers for a moment, the yearning to hold her hand rising again inside him. Then he gulps down the lump in his throat, removes the longing from his heart and gently puts her exposed hand back inside the warmth of the blanket.
*
[Purani Haveli, next morning, Arnav's room]
Khushi feels suffocated. And she feels extremely warm. As far as she remembered, it was October and October wasn't a winter month in Lucknow. To fir, humein itni garmi kyun lag rahi hai? She opens her eyes and realises she can't see a thing because she has a sheet covering her face. Ah, hence the suffocation. But hum to kabhi bhi chadar apne mooh par nahin odte, to fir aaj kaise? She wonders confusedly in her sleepy state. She slowly withdraws the sheet, which turns out to be a blanket instead. And judging from the weight, it wasn't one blanket, there were many. Khushi pushes away all of them with a sweeping motion, freeing herself from the warmth and the suffocating weight once and for all.
The morning sun's rays hits her eyes instantly and she reflexively covers her eyes, groaning, "ahhh..."
"Khushi! Tum theek ho?"
Khushi's eyes snap open behind her shielding palm. Her breath hikes up and she can hear the blood pounding in her ears. Dhad Dhad...Dhad Dhad... it was a familiar question. But more familiar was the voice. The low, worried baritone voice which she had heard countless times before, which left no doubt in her mind that she had a bedside visitor that morning, and that visitor was...
Khushi slowly lowers her palm from her eyes, and turns her head towards the direction where the voice originated from. Maybe she was still in a limbo, maybe this was a dream, just like she had dreamed about his concerned worried voice all night, or well, some part of the night. Maybe if she turns to look, he won't be there...
And he wasn't there. Khushi's eyes widen and they wildly roam to and fro in that direction in utter confusion. She had been so sure that she had heard Arnav's voice!
"Khushi..." She froze. The voice was back! But this time it was much closer. This time it was coming from - right next to her.
Khushi turns her the other direction and sure enough, her sleepy morning eyes meet the chocolate brown orbs looking at her with worry. He was sitting on the bed, next to her. Woh kab hua? Khushi's mind wonders randomly to distract her from the way her heartbeat had started racing again. Arnav looks searchingly into Khushi's eyes as if trying to seek all his answers. "Maine kuch poocha tumse," he says. Khushi rises her eyebrows slightly, as if silently asking him what he had asked. Arnav's gaze softens.
"Tum theek ho?" he repeats. Khushi does a mental check. She could move her body which obviously meant there weren't any bones broken. Par hamari haddiyan tootengi kyun? Another random thought. She was feeling fine, a little warmer than usual but fine. She nodded back at Arnav, not meeting his eyes. Then she suddenly freezes, her eyes widening. Arnav reads her expression and an alarmed expression covers his eyes instantly fearing something was wrong.
"Kya hua?" he asks concernedly. For an answer, Khushi slowly pulls up the blanket covering her feet and realises the reason why she couldn't freely squiggle her toes. She gapes at the pair of black socks that are covering her feet preventing all movment. Hum raat ko jurabein kab se pehenne lage? She wonders flabbergasted. Arnav feels a laugh building up inside him as he watches Khushi's funny expressions.
"Uhh, woh mere hain," he replies. Khushi now redirects her gawk to Arnav and stares at him instead.
Arnavji ne humein jurabe pehnai. Par kab? Kaise? But Khushi suddenly looks down at her clothes, wondering scandalously if he had changed her into any other of his clothes too. She breathes in relief when she realises she was still in her suit from yesterday.
"Par humne abhi tak kal ka suit kyun pehna hua hai?" Khushi mutters to herself. She clearly remembers that Anjali had given one of her plus sized night gowns for Khushi to wear for the night. Arnav's lips are pursed into a straight line as he watches her with narrowed eyes, a feeling of annoyance tugging at him.
"Kyunki apparently, tum bed ko chodke balcony ke floor pe sona prefer karti ho," he replies admonishingly. Khushi stares at him. Hum balcony ki zameen par kab soye the? and just like that all memories of the previous night come flooding back to her in an instant. She had come back after the press conference to her room. She was feeling upset. She had walked to the balcony. She had lied down on the floor watching the stars and then... then... Khushi realises she can't remember anything after that.
"Uske baad, main tumhe utha ke andar laya. Taki tum bed par so sako," Arnav replies in the same reprimanding tone obviously reading Khushi's expressions too closely. But Khushi wasn't looking at him anymore. She had also realised the reason why she had been upset. Unki angoothi. And so her eyes were stealing glances around his torso trying to get a good look on his right hand. Arnav sighs. It was just impossible being angry with this woman for too long wasn't it. He slowly brings his right hand and puts it on top of Khushi's palm resting on her lap.
The golden engagement ring is still sitting there on his ring finger, shining up at Khushi. She feels a odd feeling of contentment flooding through her. As if seeing it with her own eyes provided her with a validation of what she had heard him announce to the world. She goes on looking at the ring without speaking a word. The two of them sit like that; Arnav patiently letting the truth and its implications seep into Khushi. Then after a long moment, Khushi sighs.
"To, aapne apni angoothi nahi utari thi," she says as if making a statement. Arnav feels confused.
"Main apni ring kyun utarunga?" he asks. Khushi looks up at him and Arnav is startled to see tears in her eyes.
"Jab main..." Khushi croaks, her voice breaking a little, "jab main... uss din..." Arnav nods slightly indicating he understands the day she was referring to, "to aapne angoothi nahin pehni thi. Aapki angoothi humein aapke almari mein mili thi," Khushi whispers. Arnav feels a lump in his throat watching Khushi upset again.
"Main uss din apni ring ghar pe bhool gaya tha Khushi," he says patiently as he slowly wipes her tears from one eye. "Nahane ke liye maine ring utari thi, par use wapis pehenna bhool gaya tha. Isiliye to uss time main office se wapis aa gaya tha. Apni ring ko dhoondhne ke liye," Arnav gently wipes her tears from the other eyes. Khushi's eyes widen on hearing his words.
Unhone angoothi utari nahin thi. Woh bhool gaye the. Woh apni angoothi wapis dhoondhne aaye the! Fresh tears threaten to flood into her eyes as relief courses through her. She had really misunderstood the whole thing!
"Humein laga ki aapne humse sare rishte tod diye," Khushi says her voice an infinite pool of sadness. Arnav feels the wind knocked out of his lungs.
"Rishte to tumne mujhse tod diye the Khushi. Apni ring wapis kar ke," Arnav reminds her, speaking in an equally hurt voice. Khushi's eyes suddenly widen in desperation.
"Nahin! Woh to humne isiliye wapis ki thi kyunki humein laga ki aapne apni angoothi utaar di," she reels off desperately. She had no intention to be known as the first one to initiate breaking up from their relation. Arnav was gaping at her now, his head cocked to one side, wondering if heard her words right.
"Kya?" is all that manages to come out of his startled mouth. Khushi purses her lips and suddenly looks away from his astonished glance. Hey Devi Maiyya, ye humne kya kar diya? She wonders in panic, a moment too late after she had already revealed too much.
Arnav was still staring at Khushi with his mouth hanging open. Does that mean... does that mean she didn't want to break things off with me? Does it mean there is still some hope?
"Humein ghar jana chahiye!" Khushi suddenly leaps into frantic action. She peels off Arnav's socks and jumps off the bed. She looks around the floor but can't find her slippers. Suddenly she realises that she wasn't in her room and the shock registers on her face for just a moment. Arnav shakes out of his trance and gets off the bed too, trying to stop her, but Khushi ducks around him and rushes out of his room.
All Arnav can do is yell after her, "KHUSHI!!"
ENGLISH VERSION
CHAPTER 17 Scene 3
The two figures stand still as the minutes tick by. The man is helplessly rooted to his spot while the woman goes on staring searchingly at the dead screen of the television. Silence hangs heavy in the room where the air was resounding with the noise of the television not too long ago. Watching her reaction when his bhai had flashed his engagement ring, has confirmed to Aakash that there was definitely some implication of Arnav's actions. And so, he is looking at his sister-in-law with concerned eyes, thinking about her breakdown of the morning and wondering if she had lapsed into shock again.
Khushi has no idea when the press conference has finished or when the television was switched off. She is staring at the blank screen but isn't seeing it anymore. Instead, the vision of Arnav's ring finger being displayed to the public is replaying itself as if in a loop. She was in shock alright but she wasn't going to keel over again. Rather, a whirlpool of thoughts were cooking up a storm in her head.
Wordlessly, Khushi walks out of Aakash's room as if in a trance and walks towards the room that Roopmati had opened for her on the top floor. That ring... That was Arnavji's ring. The same ring that I had put on his finger... the one which he had taken off... Khushi closes her eyes revisiting the day she had gone to Shantivan to return her Shagun. Arnav didn't have his ring on his finger that day. But he had taken the ring off... Khushi feels a lump forming in her throat as she remembers the heart wrenching pain she had felt when she had seen his bare finger. He had taken the ring off...
She walks down the corridor and opens the door of her room. Had she paused and turned around, she would have seen an extremely worried looking Aakash following her a few paces behind. Khushi firmly closes the door shut behind her and stands still leaning her back against the door, staring up at the ceiling. Amongst everything that had hurt Khushi post the breaking up of her wedding, the realisation that Arnav had decided to end all ties with her had hit her the hardest; she was still holding on to her ring that time, almost as if it was a part of her. Her impulsive decision to return her ring had been fuelled by the anguish that was coursing through her body that moment.
She slowly slides down against the door and sits on the floor, an uncertainty now gripping her. If Arnavji is still wearing his ring, that means all that happened that day was... was just a misunderstanding... Khushi feels restless just by entertaining the thought in her mind. If it really was a misunderstanding then... then how was she any different from Arnav? She had blindly jumped into making a conclusion without asking, without clarifying, without talking... Suddenly feeling suffocated and breathless, Khushi stands up and crosses her room in three long strides. She opens the door on the other side and is surprised for a moment to see that it leads to a similar balcony like the one in her jeejaji's room.
Feeling momentarily relieved, she rushes out to breathe some fresh air. She stops at a spot and sits down on the hard cold floor. It was a pleasant evening, with a slightly chilly breeze flowing. Khushi folds her knees and hugs them, resting her at the bend of her legs. She takes a deep breath in an attempt to clear her mind but fails. Instead her interlocked hands fiddle with the fingers. Suddenly she stops and withdraws her left hand and lifts her head as she brings it closer to her eyes. The faint depression was still present on her ring finger. She touches it with her other hand; the place where once her ring rested. It's strange; can a missing piece of jewellery make one feel so melancholic? It can; because it was no ordinary jewellery, it was a part of her. It was her identity, or had been, that she belonged to someone, that her heart belonged to someone.
She slowly lies down on the floor, resting her head against the rigid cold granite and raises her hand up against the background of the countless stars that blanketed the sky. She goes on staring her ring finger as she feels a sense of hollowness growing in her heart. And now, I'm nothing... A lone tear courses sideways from her eye and disappears into her dense mess of hair. She doesn't bother wiping it off for she doesn't know how many more were to follow. She finally rests her hand on her chest, right over her heart. She wasn't supposed to feel this way. She had promised herself she won't feel this way. She won't feel alone all over again.
She gazes at the stars twinkling down at her trying to distract her thoughts from snowballing further. There was indeed something serenely blissful about lying like that on the floor watching the multitude of the glittering bodies. Khushi keeps still watching the night skies, and loses herself in time.
*
[Much later at night]
"How long has she been out here?" her ears pricked on hearing the familiar angry voice but she kept her eyes firmly shut. I'm dreaming, she tells herself.
"I don't know Bhai," responded an apologetic voice. "The last I saw Khushiji was right after the press conference when she was barricading herself in her room." The first voice groaned at hearing this reply.
"That was 6 hours ago, Aakash!" he muttered frustratedly. "So was Khushi lying on the balcony floor ever since?" the second voice didn't reply anything and a blissful silence stretched from there on. Khushi kept her eyes closed. Hmmm... it is indeed a dream Khushi. Sleep, she reiterates and sinks into darkness.
Arnav looks worriedly at the cold limp body of Khushi lying on his bed. She has curled herself into a foetus position despite the thick blankets he has put all around her to warm her up. She's shivering slightly too, but she looks deep in sleep; the entire duration from the moment Arnav had picked her up from the cold floor of the balcony to the him walking to his room holding her in his arms, she hadn't budged an inch or opened an eyelid.
Arnav caresses Khushi's cold face now, looking at her with soft worried eyes. Just then a bleary eyed Roopmati walks into the room with a pile of blankets in one arm and holding a jug of water in her free hand . Arnav mutely points to the chair next to the dressing table, indicating her to keep the blankets there. Roopmati obeys and then comes to stand next to the bed watching Khushi sleeping. Arnav sighs.
"Roopmati, Aakash, let's keep this to ourselves. I don't know why Khushi did such a stupid thing but I don't want Di or getting worried. If she'll have her way, she'll climb up all the way to this room," Roopmati smiles at the angry concern of Arnav towards his sister's pregnant state. She and Aakash both nod at Arnav.
"Arnav baba, do you need anything else?" Roopmati asks reverentially. Arnav shakes his head. She quietly leaves. Aakash clears his throat.
"I'm really sorry Bhai. You told me to take care of Khushiji, but I couldn't-" Arnav looks at his younger brother looking really upset that he had not kept his promise. Arnav squeezes his shoulder gently.
"No Aakash, I'm sorry that I got angry on you. You could only keep an eye on Khushi as long as she was in front of your eyes," Arnav says and his gaze goes back to Khushi who still looks pale. "It is my fault, I shouldn't have left Lucknow in the first place," Arnav mumbles in a hollow voice. Both the Raizada brothers look at Khushi regretfully. Then Aakash murmurs something about Arnav getting his rest and leaves the room leaving Arnav to tend to Khushi.
Arnav had reached from the airport just over half an hour ago. When he had enquired to Aakash about Khushi, he was told that she had retired for the night. Arnav had been disappointed; he had wanted to meet Khushi and talk to her if possible. It had been a pure stroke of luck that Arnav thought his room felt too stuffy due to being locked up in his absence and had decided to open the door leading out to the balcony to let some breeze in.
He had opened the door and had noticed an odd looking lump lying in the middle of the balcony. At first he had thought it was probably clothes that had been hung up to dry but had got loose from the wires and piled up on the floor. But then he had ventured outside to the large balcony common to all the rooms of the 2nd floor, to catch a glimpse of the starry night, a sight he rarely got to see back in Delhi, and he had a chance to inspect the pile. He had frozen in shock when he realised the "pile" was actually breathing, and even more so when he noticed the long hair.
It had taken all of a fraction of a second for the horrific realisation to hit him.
Arnav shuts the door after Aakash left and quickly changes into his night clothes. Khushi is sleeping almost in the centre of the bed which meant there is not much space left on either side for Arnav to rest. So he drags the wooden rocking chair at the end of the room and places it next to the bed. He then sits gingerly on the bed by Khushi's side and feels her forehead to check if she was hot with fever. Her skin feels cold to him, too cold. He parts the blanket exposing her bare feet and touches the soles. They were cold too. Arnav's brows furrow in a frown. Cold feet would make her catch a cold. He walks to the cupboard and starts looking in the drawers for something. Finally after a minute of searching, he walks back to the bed and sits by Khushi's foot. He slowly extracts one foot and rolls one of his black socks onto it. He repeats the same with the other foot. He then rubs the soles as gently as he can without disturbing her sleep to make them slightly warm. He pulls the blanket back on her feet and tucks her in.
Arnav then sits back, resting his back against one of the pillars of his bed, watching over Khushi with sad eyes. Everytime we meet, I find her like this; either she's broken, or she's hurt, or she is sick, Arnav realises as he keeps one hand over the blanket. He had wished he could hold her or touch her, but this was not the right time. He wouldn't do it to an almost unconscious Khushi. It seemed downright perverted. No, he'll just beside her and watch her sleep, he'll be there if she needs anything during the night but he won't get close to her, despite his need to just... hold her once...
Khushi shifts a little, mumbling incomprehensible words and then relapses into her comatose sleep. Arnav sees her hand extracting from the blanket and he inches closer to her to put it back inside the blanket when he notices it. The fingers, palm down, are holding the soft blanket in a half formed fist. The fingers of her left hand. And it really doesn't need a hawkeyed scrutiny to see the faint depression on the ring finger. Arnav freezes for a moment as he gazes at the finger and then looks back up at Khushi's beautiful face.
This ring has a meaning Arnavji. This ring is a symbol of a relationship. And now that there is no relationship between us, why to wear this ring anymore? Isn't it, Arnavji?"
He feels a lump rising in his throat as he remembers the words Khushi had said to him the last time they had met in his bedroom. He remembers how she had struggled to remove the ring from her finger as if the weight was becoming too much to bear with every moment. Arnav's gaze comes back to Khushi's bare ring finger before looking back to his own. We'll have a relationship again Khushi and then your ring won't just be a piece of jewellery. I'll give meaning to your ring, I promise you Khushi, Arnav promises to himself.
He feels a familiar old ache resurging in his heart. He extends his arm and touches her fingers. His hand hovers for a moment, the yearning to hold her hand rising again inside him. Then he gulps down the lump in his throat, removes the longing from his heart and gently puts her exposed hand back inside the warmth of the blanket.
*
[Purani Haveli, next morning, Arnav's room]
Khushi feels suffocated. And she feels extremely warm. As far as she remembered, it was October and October wasn't a winter month in Lucknow. Then why am I feeling so warm? She opens her eyes and realises she can't see a thing because she has a sheet covering her face. Ah, hence the suffocation. But I never cover my face when I sleep at night. Then how come today? She wonders confusedly in her sleepy state. She slowly withdraws the sheet, which turns out to be a blanket instead. And judging from the weight, it wasn't one blanket, there were many. Khushi pushes away all of them with a sweeping motion, freeing herself from the warmth and the suffocating weight once and for all.
The morning sun's rays hits her eyes instantly and she reflexively covers her eyes, groaning, "ahhh..."
"Khushi! Are you alright?"
Khushi's eyes snap open behind her shielding palm. Her breath hikes up and she can hear the blood pounding in her ears. Dhad Dhad...Dhad Dhad...it was a familiar question. But more familiar was the voice. The low, worried baritone voice which she had heard countless times before, which left no doubt in her mind that she had a bedside visitor that morning, and that visitor was...
Khushi slowly lowers her palm from her eyes, and turns her head towards the direction where the voice originated from. Maybe she was still in a limbo, maybe this was a dream, just like she had dreamed about his concerned worried voice all night, or well, some part of the night. Maybe if she turns to look, he won't be there...
And he wasn't there. Khushi's eyes widen and they wildly roam to and fro in that direction in utter confusion. She had been so sure that she had heard Arnav's voice!
"Khushi..." She froze. The voice was back! But this time it was much closer. This time it was coming from - right next to her.
Khushi turns her head the other direction and sure enough, her sleepy morning eyes meet the chocolate brown orbs looking at her with worry. He was sitting on the bed, next to her. When did that happen? Khushi's mind wonders randomly to distract her from the way her heartbeat had started racing again. Arnav looks searchingly into Khushi's eyes as if trying to seek all his answers. "I asked you something," he says. Khushi rises her eyebrows slightly, as if silently asking him what he had asked. Arnav's gaze softens.
"are you okay?" he repeats. Khushi does a mental check. She could move her body which obviously meant there weren't any bones broken. But why would my bones be broken? Another random thought. She was feeling fine, a little warmer than usual but fine. She nodded back at Arnav, not meeting his eyes. Then she suddenly freezes, her eyes widening. Arnav reads her expression and an alarmed expression covers his eyes instantly fearing something was wrong.
"What happened?" he asks concernedly. For an answer, Khushi slowly pulls up the blanket covering her feet and realises the reason why she couldn't freely squiggle her toes. She gapes at the pair of black socks that are covering her feet preventing all movment. Since when do I wear socks to bed?She wonders flabbergasted. Arnav feels a laugh building up inside him as he watches Khushi's funny expressions.
"Uhh, those are mine," he replies. Khushi now redirects her gawk to Arnav and stares at him instead.
Arnavji made me wear socks. But when? How? But Khushi suddenly looks down at her clothes, wondering scandalously if he had changed her into any other of his clothes too. She breathes in relief when she realises she was still in her suit from yesterday.
"But why am I still wearing the suit from yesterday?" Khushi mutters to herself. She clearly remembers that Anjali had given one of her plus sized night gowns for Khushi to wear for the night. Arnav's lips are pursed into a straight line as he watches her with narrowed eyes, a feeling of annoyance tugging at him.
"Because apparently, you prefer sleeping on the balcony floor as compared to the bed," he replies admonishingly. Khushi stares at him. When did I sleep on the balcony floor? and just like that all memories of the previous night come flooding back to her in an instant. She had come back after the press conference to her room. She was feeling upset. She had walked to the balcony. She had lied down on the floor watching the stars and then... then... Khushi realises she can't remember anything after that.
"After that, I picked you off the floor and brought you in. So that you could sleep on the bed," Arnav replies in the same reprimanding tone obviously reading Khushi's expressions too closely. But Khushi wasn't looking at him anymore. She had also realised the reason why she had been upset. His ring. And so her eyes were stealing glances around his torso trying to get a good look on his right hand. Arnav sighs. It was just impossible being angry with this woman for too long wasn't it. He slowly brings his right hand and puts it on top of Khushi's palm resting on her lap.
The golden engagement ring is still sitting there on his ring finger, shining up at Khushi. She feels a odd feeling of contentment flooding through her. As if seeing it with her own eyes provided her with a validation of what she had heard him announce to the world. She goes on looking at the ring without speaking a word. The two of them sit like that; Arnav patiently letting the truth and its implications seep into Khushi. Then after a long moment, Khushi sighs.
"So, you didn't take off your ring," she says as if making a statement. Arnav feels confused.
"Why would I take off my ring?" he asks. Khushi looks up at him and Arnav is startled to see tears in her eyes.
"When I..." Khushi croaks, her voice breaking a little, "When I... that day..." Arnav nods slightly indicating he understands the day she was referring to, "you weren't wearing your ring. I found it in your closet," Khushi whispers. Arnav feels a lump in his throat watching Khushi upset again.
"I had forgotten my ring at home that day Khushi," he says patiently as he slowly wipes her tears from one eye. "I had taken it off before I went for a bath and had forgotten to wear it again. that is why I was home early from office so that I could look for my ring," Arnav gently wipes her tears from the other eyes. Khushi's eyes widen on hearing his words.
He hadn't taken it off! He had just forgotten to wear it. He had come home to look for it! Fresh tears threaten to flood into her eyes as relief courses through her. She had really misunderstood the whole thing!
"I thought you broke all relations with me," Khushi says her voice an infinite pool of sadness. Arnav feels the wind knocked out of his lungs.
"You broke all ties with me Khushi, by returning your ring to me," Arnav reminds her, speaking in an equally hurt voice. Khushi's eyes suddenly widen in desperation.
"No! I returned you mine because I thought you have taken off your ring and decided to end things with me," she reels off desperately. She had no intention to be known as the first one to initiate breaking up from their relation. Arnav was gaping at her now, his head cocked to one side, wondering if heard her words right.
"what?" is all that manages to come out of his startled mouth. Khushi purses her lips and suddenly looks away from his astonished glance. Hey Devi Maiyya, what did I utter? She wonders in panic, a moment too late after she had already revealed too much.
Arnav was still staring at Khushi with his mouth hanging open. Does that mean... does that mean she didn't want to break things off with me? Does it mean there is still some hope?
"I should head to home!" Khushi suddenly leaps into frantic action. She peels off Arnav's socks and jumps off the bed. She looks around the floor but can't find her slippers. Suddenly she realises that she wasn't in her room and the shock registers on her face for just a moment. Arnav shakes out of his trance and gets off the bed too, trying to stop her, but Khushi ducks around him and rushes out of his room.
All Arnav can do is yell after her, "KHUSHI!!"
Writer's note: Hmmm!! So dears how was it 😊 Let your feedback do the talking please! cheers!
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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