ArHi FF:My Stalker-Th2 [18-29] Epilogue link|pg156 - Page 74

Wow nice update hope kushi listens to him and understands him instead of being angry and upset with arnav continue soon thanks for the pm.

FF : " My Stalker/ Uncontrollable Feelings"

Chapter 27

Part 1

She closed her and said with fear: " I.. I promise you that I will not interrupt you,,,, and I .. I promise you that I will think about what you will say ….. now please ..!! "

After long moment of uncomfortable silence.. Khushi implored him again : " please, Arnav .. "

He hesitantly said " Do you remember Natasha .. The girl that we met when we was in one restaurant !"

He continued : " She talked about another girl ... About .. Lavanya, then you ask me about who was this Lavanya "

Khushi was impatient to know what the direct point, and was not in mood to hear about any other thing: " yes and you said she is you assistance AR group in Delhi .. "

Arnav held his breath and whispered: " I lied ! "

There was another long silence between them ..

"W .. What you .. mean ... Who is this L ..Lavanya if she wasn't your .. Assistant, and .. and why you are talking about her now !!" she said with trembling voice,

she have no idea about what he was trying to tell her , but she was scared , scared as hell ! ..

Arnav: " Khushi .. you promised me to not interrupt me .. So please listen to what I will say till then end .."

He took a deep breath before starting the difficult task : " L .. Lavanya, is my ex-girlfriend …... The relationship started before 8 months ... but After I had come to USA our relationship almost ended, but not officially .. we didn't see each other, nor talk to each other .. Natasha reminded me about her that day in the restaurant .. I thought it would be better to return back and broke with her officially ... And I - I broke up with her one and half months ago ... before proposing to you ..."

" I haven't deceived her .. she knew that I was not stable in relationship, she know that ... I had... "

He gulped nervously before he continued to shock her with his past facts: " that I had many ... girlfriends before her ….. And she agreed to be my girlfriend knowing all these facts ... and she too, had ex boyfriends before me .. "

He took another deep breath and continued: " I'm ,, I'm sorry Khushi ... I know that you are shocked after hearing that .. Yes I was like what you were thinking about men .. I had many relationships ... I wasn't believing in marriage because I didn't want any commitment with any woman, I haven't felt that I want to be with them forever, I never felt that I want anyone of them my children mother ... any I haven't hide these fact from them "

" But Khushi .. I have changed .. I was like that, but now I'm different person, totally different ... After knowing you, My beliefs have been changed ..

You are the only woman that I want to live my whole life with ... the only woman who cause to me a chose , beautiful chose in my feeling .. the only person that I cannot't imagine my life without .. the only woman who make me want to have children .. the only woman who make me understand that I need someone share with me and I share with her , not only the bed , but every thing .. happiness , sadness, dreams and wishes .. every thing ..! "

" I .. I know that I did a big mistakes by hiding this from you, I should have told you .. But ... The fear of losing you ... The fear of hurting you and making you unable to trust anyone again stopped me ... I know that I cannot be justified for lying to you , but .."

"I .. Tried to confess and told you the truth before your finals in my apartment ... I told you half the truth , and you reacted in a way that scared me and made me feel that I will loss you ... I back off and pretend it was a jock ,, I .. I didn't want you to be affected in you last semester's finals ... And because ... I didn't want to loss you !

He continued : " you may .. wonder why I'm telling you that you now ... It's also because of the fear of losing you in some point in future ... I don't want that , I want you forever ... Forever! ... I .. I couldn't ignore the fear of losing you in future if you came to know about my past relationship ! …"

He wanted her to not interrupt him till he finish , but he did not like her complete silence which was playing with his nerves..

He said softly : " Khushi .. I .. I knew that I was selfish by hiding the truth , but .. But I hope that you can forgive me for hiding the truth .. that you understand it was only because of the fear of hurting and losing you ... I .. I want you to ignore my past, and not punish me and yourself for my past .. don't judge our future based on something happened in the past .. !"

He sighed and said : " Khushi .. Our future depend in your decision ... I don't want you to take the decision now or tomorrow ... take as much as you want , I will wait ... "

He still didn't hear anything from her side .. No word, no sighs, nothing, only a plain silence ., scaring silence from her side

He concern said : " Khushi .. say something ... Khushi ! ... !! Are you ok !!... Are you hearing me ………... Khushi !! Please say something …….. reassure me that you Ok ……... Khushi !! ……... Answer me dammit!! ... Don't do that to me Khushi ... Khushi!! "

He remain like that for several minutes , with each passing second , his concern increasing more, he start to sweat from the thought that something happened to her .. His heart threaten to stop or jump out of his chest... He cursed him self for taking a rush decision .. He blamed himself for not telling her the truth face to face, if he did , at least he will be there for her if she needed ..

His tears flow, he was pleading her helplessly to answer him , and assure him that she was fine ..

" I'm fine "

It was enough for him to hear her voice, low trembling voice

he closed his eyes tightly .. " Khu..." he tried to say , but he heard " toot ..toot..toot "!

***

Part 2

She heard him statically, only her tears what was moving..

She was under a shock to react or say something ..

She reminded numb, not able to utter a single word..

But hearing him pleading her, feeling him bursting into tears ... agitated her feeling ..

Whatever he did, but she cannot being a reason for him to be like that ..

" I'm fine " was the maximum thing that she could say, before ending the call

***

Every word from him was a stab in her heart ..

Her heart was bleeding ..

Her soul was murdered slowly ..

The most important person in her life .. The man that she loved, The man that she trusted completely, blindly , the man that she opened her heart to, the man that she shared her past only with him .. The man that she can talk to him without constrains..

Was not more than a cheater, lair, Great actor !!

He was not different as she thought,, he was just another lustful man , who exploit girls to satisfy his needs without caring about them..

And what ! ..

He made her cheap , very cheap .. She was a reason for him to leave his previous girlfriend .. He cheated his girlfriend with her .. She was cheap .. Very cheap ..

He made her feels that she is the same as the women that his father deceived her mother for .. !!

She shake her head roughly , refusing the feeling of being the same of that women that was a part of ruining their life .. It was over of her ability of tolerance ..

She was feeling disgusted toward him, and toward herself for being a part of another woman betrayal .. For allowing herself to be fooled by him .!

***

He was holding his head in his hand ..

He was nervous .. He was still sweating ..

He never felt that he was under threaten as he was feeling now .. He never felt that his life was in danger as he was feeling now..

He don't know who to blame ..

Himself for his pre-Khushi relationships.. Or Khushi past that made her highly insecure in term of relationship ! ..

He wished if the past can be erased so he can erase his past relationships, sand then he could live happily with Khushi!..

He took a deep breath and decided to distract his thinking in Khushi and what will be her decision ..

If he will continue thinking like that, he will lose his sanity soon ..

He took his towel and moved to the bathroom..He took the longest shower that he has ever toke ! , it was because of the long staring moments at the blank, his thought focused in Khushi and their future .. he failed to distract it away from her even for a second !

He took 2 sleeping pills to help him to sleep as he know that he will not be able !!

***

Khushi tears didn't stop for even a second ..

Hurt, bertayal, broken trust, broken dreams, losing the only hope in her life , all was too much to tolerate ..

She wanted to call him and tell him her decision, which was "nonnegotiable separation" !

But she promised him that she will take enough time to think, she held back .. She will till him after few days.. Only because of her promises ..Though she know that her decision was unchangeable, and thinking carefully, will only enhance her " already token decision "..

She heard her door being knocked, she wiped her tears quickly, and covered her self completely with the quilt ..

Sonu entered her sister room .. She said: " Khushi !! You still asleep ! .. Don't tell me that you forget about our cooking lesson ! ... I already knead the routi dough ! Wake up so we will prepare it together"

Khushi : "S .. Sonu please,, I..I have a headache ... And , and I have lost the interest in cooking ... y .. you can enjoy your time, I will not irritate you with cooking lessons " she said while she was under the quilt ..

Sonu wrinkled her forehead, her sister voice and tone seems very strange: " Khushi ,What you are saying !! .. are you Ok .. !"

khushi: " I'm fine ,, Don't worry ... I just want to sleep !"

***

He couldn't sleep even though the sleeping pills .. Every time he dozed off, he woke up again .. His mind and conscious was completely occupied by her ..

His day was aimless .. All the time he was distracted .. He couldn't think about anything , except Khushi !

It was 12:30 pm in Delhi .. He used to call Khushi in this time , to wish her a good night .. He couldn't resist his eagerness to hear her voice and assure himself that she was fine ... He toke his phone and hesitantly, dialed her number ..

***

She closed her eyes tightly ..Today , was one of the worst day of her life, officially ! ..

She was lying on her bed , that she haven't leaved from her room almost the whole day , giving her mother and sister the headache excuses .. And when they saw her red puffy eyes, she justified that she by wrong splashed a perfume in her eyes ..

All the bad memories of her past, all the times that she saw her mother suffering from her unconditional love toward her father , and all the imagination of Arnav with other girls .. Were hurting her .. Killing her slowly..

Every beautiful memory with him that she was source of her happiness many times,,, was source of her tears and repetance..

Every word from him that she meant the world for her,,, today she consider it as a lie ..

Her phone rang , without seeing the caller name , she know that it was him .. He used to called her at this time ... She closed her eyes and remembered their sweet phone conversations, every day in this time ..

They talked about how they did spent their day without each other .. He was teasing her by telling her what would he do if he was with her in the same room , same bed .. and she told him how she missed him, asked him to come as soon as possible and take her away from this loneliness ..

They were eagerly talking and planning about their future from all aspects !..

She was up to the eyes in their memory , and she didn't realize when had the phone stop ranging ..

***

Part 3

Two of the toughest days in their life have been passed

Arnav was all the time in his room .. Pretending to work, watering his garden, or staring at his and Khushi picture, or smelling the scarf that she made for him ..

He haven't tried to call her again, as he understand that she was in difficult situation , and she need a time to heal from the shock ..

His family members noticed his status after Akash's reception party .. And his break up with Lavanya that they read about in the newspaper !! ..

Anjali thought that his break up with Lavanya was the reason for his state .. She asked him about that, and he was mad at her fro even thinking that breaking up with Lavanya can make him like that..

He told her that he already broke up with her 1.5 months ago .. and and all his problem started when he saw her in Akash reception party ..He told her that Lavanya don't mean anything for him , and he breaking up with her was his best decision ..

He also asked her to stay away and don't thought of doing anything to unit them , becauseit will distract and complicate his situation more and more..

Anjali was planning to be a cupid between her brother and Lavanya , but after talking to her brother, thought she haben't understand what is the ewrong with him, but she realized that his state was really not related to Lavanya at all .. So she backed off ..

***

" I love you Khushi .. You know that, don't you !"

She remembered how she was mad at him for thinking that she doubt his love for her ..

She was mad that he thought that she doesn't trust him ..

But Now, She is doubting his love, she is considering all the " love" that he showered her with , just a " lies " ..

All her talk about her blind trust on his , was just a words .. If she did trust hom, she would , at least, not doubt his love for her ..

- - -

This the afternoon, she decided to get rid off all the souvenir that reminded her of him .. reminded her of cheat, deceive and lies ..

But when her eyes fall into on them .. She forget what she had planned, and it made her realize something she was blind to see the last 2 days ..

The red sari reminded her with Vegas , with his caring , with his trials to winkle her from her uncertainty status .. her virthday and his understanding without a need of saying a word .. She remembered Mr & Mrs Jones anniversary ..How he proudly introduced her to the people.. their first kiss that she felt it convey the amount of love her hold for her ..

She saw the engagement ring .. How he proposed her , the love that was shining from his eyes, the honesty in his voice .. the understanding he show toward her relationship with her family.. how he proposed her again, and how they open their heart to each other without any constrains ..

She saw their photo .. She remembered the last day that they spent together .. Their time in amusement park .. Tolerating her bad cooking and praising her .. the love and the respect he has for her , and The pain in his eyes when they were in the airport ..

- - -

" Can all these be just a lie !!"

She closed her eyes and asked her self , deep on her heart she know the answer .. " it's not a lie " it's love , real love !" ..

" I was not like that before" .. " I'm what I'm today because of you" .. " you changed me Khushi" ..

She remembered the uncountable times that he confessed that he has been changed, and he was different than what he is know ..

He never tried to act or pretend as if he was an angel ,or he was free from sins .. in fact, he even tried to tell her the truth once, but he backed off after seeing her reaction ..He also, discussed the issue with her after that, trying to convince her , but she close minded to see the other side of the coin ..

Khushi regret and hated herself for doubting his love , after all what he did for her ..!

Regardless of anything , his love was not lie ! .. It was a pure real love ..

It was a shame to think that his feeling and his love were a lie ! She felt ashamed ..

- - -

" But Is love enough!! .."

" What if he will change negatively in future and will leave me "

"Habits something hard to get rid off , what if he missed his habit of being with new women! "

"What if his passion on me will be temporary, and he will get board of her as he did with his ex girlfriends ??! "

" How can I accept to build my happiness over another woman !"

" What if this woman love him , and their separation will hurt her, what if she will feel like what her mother felt 10 years ago ??! "

- - -

There was a storm in Khushi brain .. In one side she realize that his love cannot be a lie ..

But in the other side, she was insecure , her past still affecting her .. Her beliefs and morals scolding her ... while Her heart pleading her to give their love a chance .. Her soul asking her for a mercy ..

She felt a millions of contradictory thought spinning her head ..

She was confused, highly confused she need a help .. She need to talk to someone, she need to consult someone .. But who, she didn't know !

She cannot talk to Liza or Ishi in this matter ,. They didn't face what she faced in her life , they don't have problem with relationships ..In fact, they will mock her if she shared her fears with them.. They will not understand her insecurity about relationship , as they don't know the full picture of her past ..

She need someone who know and understand her fears, her insecure, the essence of her dilemma ..

She want someone to talk freely without fearing that he will mock her for her unreasonable thinking .. For her fogy thoughts ..

She need to talk, she need to open to someone ..She need someone help her to sort this mess , to guide her to take the right decision ..

She closed her eyes helplessly , knowing that there is no one with the mentioned qualities , to talk with ..

She wiped her tears and , she toke her towel and moved to the bathroom to take a much needed warm shower, to help her to relax a little bit ..

***

She walked out of the bathroom drying her hear .. She froze as she saw her mother setting in her bed, staring at something ... a photo !!

Khushi opened her her eyes as she realized that it was her and Arnav photo..Shewas staring at this photo before she went for a shower, and she left the photo in the bed ..!

She saw a faint smile in her mother face while she was staring at the photo ..

Khushi said : " A.. Amma !"

Garima looked at Khushi, the happiness were shining from her eyes , Khushi never saw her mother that happy since long time ..

Garima stood and said : " Khushi ! ... you .. and Arnav ! " She said raising her brow ..

Khushi allowed her tears to flow and , she ran and hugged her mother tightly..

She wanted someone to talk with , some one can understand her fears, someone know why this fear .. and there was no one better than her mother, who suffered more than her in the past !!

***

Chapter 28 : - Pg 130

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* Sorry for mistakes

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Thanks a lot all your likes and comments in the previous chapter ..🤗

This chapter is mostly about Khushi feelings and conflict .. I hope that you liked this chapter ..

waiting for opinion ..😊