A few things that some of you had asked me to clear; apologizing for the delay: No, the Anjali in my tale is not crippled. She is fine and healthy. Only a little sad at heart. No, the Arnav in my tale is not a diabetic. It's hard to deal with diabetics in the medieval setting and so I have resorted to keeping him perfect in bodily health but otherwise, as Kushi would say, he is 'heartless and soulless'!
Just a heads up, though I should not be telling this to you: there will not be a Dadi in my story (or a Bubbly or a Masala Mama!) because this FF is an attempt at correcting the scars of our beloved show where the reckless intrusion of the unwanted into the script led many to feel uncomfortable with a track or two.
Also, you may be sad to hear, there is no NK in my FF. This is solely because he is such a wonderful character in the show and I will not be able to do justice in creating him with my words. However, some of you may have already realised that I have, in fact subconsciously, extracted NK's essence into two of my characters: Ram, the boy who cannot speak, and Master Aman. These two in our FF will be the NK in our show and I have plans to put them in better use here, hoping you will understand why.
Another important thing I wanted to tell you: Most of you tend to succumb to your aversion for the Shyam in the show while seeing the General Jha in my story. However, like I said, I will not make the General as "absurd and disgusting and UNBELIEVABLE" a villain as was seen in the show. Abbhas is an outstanding actor and he has played Shyam so brilliantly that after the murder of his unborn child I literally detested typing his name while writing a chapter for my FF. However, I have learnt and I would like all of you to try as well, to read my tale washed off all your prejudices of the Jha you know of. The lawyer Jha is different from the General here because, here, he will be a villain in making and a villain justified in his villainy and the punishment meted out to him at the end for his villainy will be a righteous one too! Remember, I said, this story is a recreation attempting to correct and perfect our dear story! But I have my own little twists and spices coming up and I would only be glad to tell you all I have seen in the Arhasia of my mind…….
Another thing, I am not a Twilight fan and hence, like I told some of you, I shall have no vampires or werewolves trampling through my Arhaisa. This is strictly an "original creation" of mine and I was adhering to the plot of our show only because no beginning to an ArShi FF can be as excellent as the way our show had begun! And I said "begun" because the future plot in this FF will strictly be my own construction!
Chapter Seventy Nine: The Mistress Speaks
On the afternoon of the Tuesday of her fourth week's stay at the Castle, Kushi was sitting on the grass near the bench upon which sat Lady Lavanya reading a novel. But it was certain that she had read nothing more than the unchanged first line, over and over again.
Kushi was making a tiny laurel with the varied flowers and leaves collected from the garden of the Castle.
She was almost done making it, when Lady Lavanya sighed and shut the book with a thump. Silence lingered while the cool summer breeze blew over the garden. Lady Lavanya removed her hat and placed it on her lap on top of the book.
"You seem disturbed, my lady," said Kushi, still working on her laurel.
Lady Lavanya leaned back in her bench, her head reclining backwards and stared into the morning sky above her, "I am not disturbed, Kushi. I am discerning."
"Discerning?" Kushi looked up, "Is it something you want to get out of your mind?"
Lady Lavanya shook her head. She was silent for some time and Kushi thought it wise to let her be. She continued with concluding her laurel-creation.
"Kushi?"
"Yes, my lady?" Kushi asked, looking up, concerned.
Lady Lavanya still had her head leaned back on the bench and Kushi couldn't see the expression on her face.
"Tell me about your family. Your parents……"
"I would be delighted," said Kushi and she folded her knees before her and wrapped her arms around them and, with a smile, began, "My Babuji and Amma-"
"Do they listen?" interjected Lady Lavanya, unmoving.
"Pardon, my lady?" Kushi asked.
Lady Lavanya sat straight and looked down at Kushi where she was seated on the grass, and the mistress's eyes were impassive as she asked, "Do your parents find time to listen to you?"
"Yes, they always do," said Kushi, "But they don't always need words. My Babuji and Amma understand my silences the best. They always know what I feel."
Lady Lavanya smiled and then looked away but Kushi had seen the pain in the smile. She stood up, holding the laurel and, after a moment's hesitation, sat on the bench not too close to her mistress but neither too far away.
"My lady?"
Lady Lavanya looked at her.
"Did your parents never find time to listen?"
Lady Lavanya looked at Kushi for a long time and then, hesitatingly, shook her head.
Kushi felt her heart ache for her mistress, "That is a sad thought. Did they have work that occupied their time otherwise?"
Lady Lavanya pressed her hands on her knees and spoke to the ground, "My mother died when I was six years old and my father was rich enough to appoint servants to look after me. He was always too busy and never had time...for me."
Lady Lavanya looked at Kushi and she saw tears in her mistress's eyes, "Do you know, Kushi, I've longed to sit on his lap and lay my head on his shoulder when I felt lonely and motherless…….I've woken in the middle of the night after a terrible dream and rushed to the door to go to my father but stopped myself at the dark corridor before his door, knowing he was asleep and would not like to hear my woes……I never wanted him to trouble to find time to listen to what I wanted to say. But yes, like you said, I wish there was a moment I could remember when he would have tried to pause and listen to my silence. I have wanted a hug or a kiss and I was given none, not even on the annual anniversaries of my birth."
"Not even on your birthdays?" Kushi was appalled, and tears were streaming down her cheeks without her knowledge.
"No," sighed Lady Lavanya, wiping the tears in her eyes.
Kushi realised something. When Lady Lavanya cried, her tears filled her eyes. But they never fell down. They never travelled down her cheeks. They always remained in her eyes. Like the trapped memories of a broken heart.
The realisation overwhelmed poor Kushi's tender heart so much that, without thinking, she had leapt forward, thrown her arms around her mistress' shoulders and embraced her with all the warm love she could expel from her young understanding heart.
"I feel you, my Lady," cried Kushi into her mistress' shoulder, "Oh! I see the child you had been! How much you have longed and yet how empty you remained."
"I still am," said Lady Lavanya, bringing her hand to rest on Kushi's back, accepting her sincere embrace, "And I would have remained so, until you came."
Kushi released her mistress and looked up confusedly at her, "What do you mean?"
Lady Lavanya sighed and gathered words, "Adhering to the way my father was bringing me up, I learnt to cage myself from being soft and affected by feelings. I remained detached from anything warm penetrating me and so become the right specimen for Papa to hand over his business trustworthily into my hands. And that is when, in one of the meetings with Papa, that I met ASR. For the first time, I felt things I had been far from feeling. Emotions I had thought I'd never feel. I was fascinated by him. I felt different when in his presence. He never gave me much of a glance but I always looked forward to seeing him every time a meeting with him winded up for the day. And that is how I realised that the real me was still inside of me, somewhere, waiting to love and be loved again."
Lady Lavanya looked at Kushi, "Everyone I've met has only seen the surface I put up. But sometimes, when you look at me or smile at me, I feel like you see more than what I want you to see in me…….And then the side of me that I thought I had killed with my indifference, I realised it was still there."
Fresh tears ran down Kushi's eyes. She didn't know what her mistress was talking about but she knew she had always felt there was something Lady Lavanya was keeping away from everyone. Every time Lady Lavanya dressed up exquisitely, or talked about nonsensical girly matters, or harassed Kushi or any other servant for not doing as she wanted………Kushi had always wondered if there was something she was forcing to extant which was not the real thing. It was surprising indeed to know her doubts had been true. Behind all that colour and noise, her mistress was a little girl's heart longing to be loved. By her father, by her lover………..
Lady Lavanya placed a hand on Kushi's shoulder and Kushi broke from her thoughts and smiled at her mistress.
"In all my life, I have seen no one who was keen to reach out to me. But after the incident at the market I realised one thing: Kushi, you're even willing to stand by the person who has given you only hurt. I have said and made you do ghastly things and yet you didn't need to think when I needed aid. If I were you, I would never have been able to forgive…………….."
Kushi smiled through her tears, "It is something my Babuji taught me. We must grow a Shield of Forgiveness and as we grow in age, the shield must grow in size. Every time we are hurt or scarred by others, we must let it soak through this shield and we will only find our smile waiting at the other end of the tears."
Lady Lavanya's eyes shone on hearing this but she said nothing and Kushi picked up her laurel, "May I?"
Lady Lavanya dipped her head and Kushi gently placed the laurel of sunlit flowers on her mistress' head.
Kushi beamed and clasped her head, "You look really beautiful, my lady!"
"I always am," said Lady Lavanya and she winked.
Kushi giggled and then they sat in silence, watching the sun preparing to set for the night to come, after which a new day waited to emerge.
This singular update was made so that you would understand how much important this chapter was, knowing how many of you yearn to only see ArShi scenes. I will be making an update tomorrow as well because there are a few chapters I must have you read separately before I can give you some scorching ArShi scenes on Saturday! Scorching according to me, that is.
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