OS: A long drive home - Page 5

What should I say... yes I got the right words!

G - its good writing, but its not in sync with AnSh characterization...the vibe/cadence is not quite right... its what you want them to say not what they would say. So, dialogue does not work for me. Action wise Shiv is becoming forward, but not quite that forward yet... do i make sense? Don't kill me! When it comes to writing, I am a dangerous reader🤔 seriously picky...as for Anandi, I don't think she is that weak... JMO

Originally posted by: AnjanaYYZ

G - its good writing, but its not in sync with AnSh characterization...the vibe/cadence is not quite right... its what you want them to say not what they would say. So, dialogue does not work for me. Action wise Shiv is becoming forward, but not quite that forward yet... do i make sense? Don't kill me! When it comes to writing, I am a dangerous reader🤔 seriously picky...as for Anandi, I don't think she is that weak... JMO

Originally posted by: VerboseG

Thanks Anjy for your comments. You are right, this is what I want, not what they will do.

Its called literary licence, you see 😊

Yes.. that's where i diverge with most OS/SS writers... and why I am always reluctant to write os/ss/ff... a compulsive need to stay true to characterization... be it my own or someone elses. Anyway its well written.

Originally posted by: AnjanaYYZ

Yes.. that's where i diverge with most OS/SS writers... and why I am always reluctant to write os/ss/ff... a compulsive need to stay true to characterization... be it my own or someone elses. Anyway its well written.

Originally posted by: VerboseG

You still online?? so jaooo...

U have it backwards... its my workday - ur sleep time😛