'The Childrens' perception'

Kids Test Papers

These are from test papers and essays submitted by kids:

1. "When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you
expire."

2. "H3O is hot water, and CO3 is cold water"

3. "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a
test tube"

4. "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon
monoxide"

5. "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a
free state"

6. "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and
caterpillars."

7. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

8. "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and
then expectoration."

9. "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even
deader."

10. "Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow
instead of the bull."

11. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and
makes them perspire."

12. "A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it
can hold."

13. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like
umbrellas."

14. "The body consists of three parts -- the brainium, the borax
and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity
contains the bowls, of which there are five -- a, e, i, o, and
u."

15. "The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst
insects."

16. "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of
Indiana."

17. "The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been
taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of
the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

18. "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight
cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."

19. "The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water
tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in his
fight."

20. "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more
extinct it is."

21. "Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill
effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception."

22. "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through
Africa."

23. "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

24. "Liter: A nest of young puppies."

25. "Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."

26. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

27. "Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."

28. "Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."

29. "Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

30. "Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is
affirmative or negative."

31. "To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the
nose."

32. "For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until
the heart stops."

33. "For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make artifical perspiration."

34. "For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her
arm above the hand instead or put the head between the knees of
the nearest medical doctor."

35. "For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If he has
not recovered, then kill it."

36. "For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the
patient is dead."

37. "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

38. "For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it
drops in your throat."

39. "To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."

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Flora - these are great!! Funniest ones i heard in a long time! 👏👏