Money laundresses scare rich men

Affluent men think twice about marrying high maintenance women as they don't want expensive headaches.

WAGS' (wives and girlfriends of football players) 'trophy wives' and 'high maintenance' girls often get a bad name in the press for their expensive lifestyles that are maintained at their husbands' or partners' expense. Wayne Rooney's girlfriend Coleen was often ridiculed by tabloids for spending her boyfriend's hard earned moolah on designer clothes, bags and shoes, not to mention a trip to London mid-way through the World Cup to get her hair done.

Sushmita Sen is forever badgered by people wanting to know who gifted the actress her latest diamond ring and Victoria Beckham's lavish tastes are legendary. Until now, one believed that it was only the media and general public who were appalled at the way HMWs (high maintenance women) spent their men's money, but now the men who are usually expected to fund them appear to be setting limits.

Even actor Saif Ali Khan who says he likes pampering the person he is with says, "I like to keep it simple and don't encourage any individual to have very high expectations from me or anyone else and certainly not unreasonable expectations. I am the kind of person who wants only as much as he can achieve. Wanting more and not getting it leads to disappointment."

If you are wondering what is bringing about this change in attitude. Well, the answer is that rich men don't like expensive headaches anymore. When asked what he thinks of women living off men, Indian wicketkeeper Mahender Singh Dhoni says, "Gone are the days when wives used to live off their husbands. It's better when both husband and wife are working for a living. I would prefer my wife to be financially independent, but she has to be working in the same city. Given the frequent tours that cricketers have to go on, it does a lot of good when your wife is working as it keeps her occupied."

The HMW is no longer considered attractive even if she can give Aishwarya Rai a run for her money. The very fact that half their earnings — and if they are not careful their entire fortune — go into making their better halves look better than Aishwarya is turning men off. Clever mothers who know that their daughters think luggage means Louis Vuitton and an everyday car means Mercedes are warning them to tone it down, at least till they get married. They are not wrong because a Hyderabad based millionaire was advising his cousin to stay clear of the rich Reddy girls in town. He said a friend told him that after marriage, guys will end up spending most of their income supporting their wives' needs.

Although actor Fardeen Khan argues that even men can be high maintenance and says, "I am all for high maintenance, it's like someone is pushing you to get that much more, work that much harder and strive for the very best. I look at it positively," he also adds, "I am all for independent people who don't have to rely on their spouses for anything and this includes emotional dependence too."

Unfortunately for high-powered men, an HMW splurging on the best is a way of life, not a special treat. Actress Sushmita Sen of the diamond rings fame admits she is very high maintenance and is least apologetic about it. She says, "I am high maintenance in every sense of the word and I know I am worth every bit of it. If a man wants to be with me, he better deal with it. But do I need a man to look after my needs? Certainly not. I can get for myself what I want and that includes my diamonds. I don't need any man to buy me anything, but he needs to know that being with Sushmita Sen, he has chosen to be with a high maintenance woman."

Now you would think no man will complain if you are funding your own lifestyle. This is true in theory, unfortunately in practice some guys feel insecure, believes actress Sameera Reddy who confesses that she is an HMW. She says, "I am in a place where I can look after my own needs and don't need a man to provide me with anything, but I think most men are intimidated by women sporting this attitude. If I need a Mercedes I can buy it myself, so men think, 'if she can do it all herself why does she need me?' It takes a very secure man to cope with that."

Of course it's better to let go of an insecure guy who is forever jealous of your success, but there are tonnes of women out there who spend as much or more than her, thanks to their husband's hard work. And you can't blame successful men out there or label them as misers either if they refuse to maintain their wife or girlfriend's extravagant lifestyle because these days everything is so incredibly expensive. Let's begin with creams and moisturisers. StriVectin, the cult stretch mark cream (doesn't erase any marks but gets rid of crow lines) costs over Rs 7,000 when converted into our currency.

The same is the case with Crme De La Mer and Estee Lauder's Re-Nutriv Re-Creation Day Crme SPF 15 and Night Crme costs 550 and these are just some of the popular names. Just imagine how much you will be spending if your better half likes moisturising her whole body with Crme De La Mer like Donatella Versace does? Even pedicures don't come cheap anymore.

According to the Tatler magazine, HMWs in love with their feet now fly to the Dr Fish Spa at the Kowakien Hotel in Hakone, Japan. Unlike the normal pedicure, here women dip their feet in warm water and watch tiny little fish eat away the dead and scaly skin on their feet. Don't worry these fish are no piranha, they are toothless and the only food they get is dead skin so they attack your foot. Now imagine how much a trip to Japan, hotel stay and a bit of shopping will cost even if the pedicure isn't too expensive.

Besides the pedicure, there is nothing reasonable about regular spa treatments, hair care, regular trips to dermatologists, weekly parlour appointments and regular stocking up of make-up too. And don't even go near clothes, accessories and phones, yes phones because they are the modern day jewels. Re-sale value may be zero but the retail prices of clothes, phones and rocks are about the same.

A simple Vertu phone costs a couple of lakhs of rupees and HMWs love it because of its unique concierge service that will arrange everything from movie tickets, hotel reservations to cabs for you anywhere in the world. If you think Vertu was expensive wait till you find out how much the world's most expensive phone costs. It's a whopping $1.2 million and is from the company GoldVish, which plans to retail solid gold and diamond encrusted handsets from October. Prices begin at $24,500.

Coming down to more reasonable accessories, most of the latest in season bags cost at least Rs 1,00,000, clothes cost more than that if you are into Western designers and a nice pair of Jimmy Choo shoes easily costs Rs 30,000. Even Indian designer wear doesn't come cheap. A decent designer sari costs nothing less than Rs 60,000 and will be worn for a grand total of two times if the lady doesn't mind repeating.

Sabyasachi's kalidar kurta which Rani Mukherjee possesses costs Rs 58,000, and tops and blouses don't go for less than Rs 5,000. Once in a while, every man likes splurging on his wife, but for an HMW these are life's daily necessities and it's not one pair of shoes or a bag but more likely cupboards full of bags, shoes and clothes that are required. When an HMW splurges she may get a famous artist like Hussain to paint her portrait, buy a single piece of jewellery that costs crores of rupees or buy so much from one designer that he labels her his muse and names a bag after her.

When asked what he would do if his partner asks him, "I want this and I want that, and you have to get it for me." Politician Milind Deora honestly says, "I can't answer that." He says this is a very personal thing. "I have friends who like being dominated by their wives and vice versa." But he goes on to say that although he isn't looking for someone right now, if and when it happens he wants his relationship to be about love, trust and great friendship. Love, trust and friendship is what the women too want, but they want a magnanimous soul who can fund their lifestyle too without nagging them about boring things like inflation, budget or income tax for that matter.

And whatever you do don't ask them to get a job and see how hard it is to earn money because an HMW doesn't work for anyone. She will expect you to fund her new boutique, buy her land so that she can develop it or bring a lifestyle magazine to India and these pursuits aren't tax deductible, so beware.

(Inputs by Chaya S.)

How to spot an HMW

* Is allergic to misers.
* Her definition of reasonable or cheap doesn't agree with the dictionary's definition.
* Is never bored. Either has a super successful career or spends her days enjoying the luxuries her platinum card has to offer.
* Always immaculately turned out in the best of clothes.
* She doesn't drive but is driven. Drives her bling car only on holidays when there is absolutely no traffic.
* Just about every shop and designer is willing to bend backwards and forwards to keep her happy.
* Doesn't even look at discounted items.
* Is into private jets.
* Is forever country or city hopping checking out what the stores have to offer.