Posted:
Hey guys! This is just a humorous OS! After looking at the state of the forum, going back to when Daljeet was thinking of leaving etc etc, I decided to quickly write up a RPF.
RPF - Real Person Fic.
This, in no way, resembles how these actors and crew are in real life.
Also, I am part of the fans that are being poked fun at in this OS, so if you feel offended, remember that wasn't the intention. Hope you find the funny bone in the entire thing :)
I had previously written
Iss Demands Ko Kya Naam Doon
Arshad sat in front of the computer screen, his eyebrows furrowed as his lips pulled down into a scowl, an ache starting at the back of his head as he rubbed a tired hand over his face. He turned to Gul who sat beside him, her face pale, her eyes wide and she looked like she had lost half her weight since she had started on this project.
"What's the verdict?" He asked, almost dreading the news.
"I talked to Daljeet, but she said that she wanted the storyline to be slightly altered in Anjali's favour. It seems that the recent track has people hating her, and sending her all kinds of hate mail. She wants more time to show the audience that they should be pitying her character, and not hating" She sighed, and leaned back in her chair.
"We can't change the storyline. This is important in order to reveal the past'" Arshad sighed, and then looked back at his laptop, on which the forum was bombarded with threads on Anjali dying at the hands of fans.
Arshad got up in frustration and ran a tired hand through his hair,
"What did Gautam say to Daljeet?"
"Show karna hain toh karo"
Arshad groaned and threw his head back in frustration, his eye travelling over to the bin where they had thrown the storyboard that had been drawn up for the past 6 months.
"What do the fans want?"
"An extravagant wedding for Arnav and Khushi... for Anjali to die...for Shyam to die...for everybody, except ArHi, to die..." Gul said as she read over some threads and responses of people
The door barged open, and Gautam stepped inside, his hands in his hair as he pulled at it, his eyes blazing with fury and his form shaking in anger, "THAT'S IT!" He screamed, "That's it! Give me more money, or I am out of here!"
Gul got up, concerned and asked, "What's wrong, Gautam?"
"You asked me to quit Facebook, I left it. You asked me to quit Twitter, and I did. But the fans have still not stopped. Now some of them are now burning my portraits outside my house, threatening to give them more ArHi romance, or they will personally kill me! I demand more money if I am going to be part of this circus show, with crazy fans! Money dena hain to abhi do!"
Gul sighed, and sat back down in defeat, her palms pressing against her eyes in frustration. The door banged open again, and Daljeet sauntered in with Abhaas in tow. Barun and Sanaya joined in as well, with Akshay following, a book in his hand.
"I demand more screen time. The fans hate me. I need to show them that they are wrong"
"If I have to do those muscle twitches one more time, Arshad. I am leaving this show."
"If I don't get a more meaty role, I am leaving this show" Daljeet continued.
"If Arnav has to dance one more time, I am leaving this show" Barun said, leaning against the wall, his eyes concentrating on his phone as he texted his wife.
"If Khushi is not given more lines, I am leaving this show" Sanaya said, her hands coming to rest on her hips.
"If Akaash is made to look like a goldfish once again, I am leaving this show. Also where is the grey in my character?"
"If I don't get more clothes, I am leaving this show. This lehnga stinks" Sanaya said, pointing to the Mehndi lehnga that she had been wearing for the past month.
Arshad looked around, his eyes widening in disbelief, India-forums opened on his laptop, and every few seconds a new thread popping on the forum, of fans threatening to kill the CVs.
Suddenly a chant started outside the sets, and the cast rushed to the window to see the fans of IPKKND holding candles and walking towards the set, posters of Arnav-Khushi in their hands, as they chanted the one show,
"Poojali ko bahaar karo, ArShi ko andar karo!"
"We don't want to watch Didi Ki Saut! We want Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon, back!"
"I want to marry Barun!"
"I want Anjali to die!"
"I want Khushi to stop crying!"
"I want Arnav to suffer!"
"I want Laxmi's goat curry!"
"I want Shyam to stop twitching!"
"I want to know how Anjali maintained the size 0 figure during pregnancy!"
"I want Lalit Mohan back!"
"I want to live in RM!"
"I can direct these episodes better than you!"
"I want Arshad Khan to quit!"
"I can write better than you!"
"I want Gautam Hegde to quit!"
"I can act better than Daljeet!"
"I want Daljeet to quit!"
"I want Arnav and Khushi to kiss!"
"I want Arnav and Khushi to have sex!"
"I want to know the size of Arnav's chote"
"I want more gutter in the episodes!"
Daljeet looked on horrified, as tears filled her eyes, "If someone does not stop them, I am leaving this show!"
Gautam opened the window and shouted,
"Dekhna hain to dekho!"
But a fan threw a tomato at Gautam that exact moment, and he stumbled back in shock, juices of the rotten tomato covering his face.
"We are all quitting IPKKND, so the TRPs drop, and then you will realize what the audience wants!" The fans screamed from outside.
Arshad stepped back in defeat, and looked at Gul who looked like she was close to her breaking point.
"I quit" They both said at the same time.
Iss Demands Ko Kya Naam Doon?
~K
PS: Just got to know that this has been tweeted?
*waves around a white flag* Hope they don't to hunt me down for poking fun at them! 😆
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