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|R.I.P|
R.I.P to the girl you used to see.
Her days are over, baby she's over.
- R.I.P by Rita Ora
Her days are over, baby she's over.
- R.I.P by Rita Ora
Khushi.
It meant happiness.
Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada was the embodiment of that name.
She lived up to what it meant, always spreading happiness to others, making them smile, and bringing joy into their lives and yet that very name was a curse.
A curse that cried of irony as the giver of happiness was not a receiver.
In fact, it had another meaning.
Sacrifice.
The sacrifice of her own happiness for the sake of others.
The success of her Bauji's sweet shop had come with the sacrifice of her education. She hadn't given it a second thought then, she was rewarded handsomely with her family's happiness as business thrived and they were able to put down a meal on the table every day.
Arnavji's and Lavanyaji's relationship had come with the sacrifice of her mother's bangles. But it hadn't mattered to her, when she saw how much Arnavji loved his plants and how he and Lavanyaji had made up again, it didn't matter because her sacrifice made them happy.
Her engagement to Shyamji was a sacrifice she made for the happiness of her family. For her Bauji and Buaji; it hadn't mattered that she did not feel for Shyamji the same
way she felt for Arnavji but there was nothing she could have done anyway. Arnavji would never be hers and so she had to settle. Settle for the sake of keeping her Bauji happy.
Of course, it had turned out to be a sham of an engagement since Shyamji was already married to Arnavji's Di.
Revealing the truth about Shyamji had been called off by the concern for the Raizada's happiness and her Jiji's pending marriage. She sacrificed the truth for everyone else's happiness and she bore the weight of the hidden lies and deceit solely on her shoulders.
All this while, the sacrifices she'd made, had all been worth it. Despite the fact that it pained her, seeing the joy in others' souls was rewarding.
But then came the ultimate sacrifice.
The sacrifice of her dreams.
Her dreams of a grand marriage, of a happy marriage, of a marriage filled with love.
For the sake of her sister's marriage and for the sake of the respect she held for the man she loved.
She hadn't understood why he'd forced her to wear the mangulsultra around her neck and the sindoor on her forehead for him; when they meant nothing to him. Why he had been so intent on breaking everything she'd ever dreamt for herself ever since she was a little girl; when he didn't believe in marriage in the first place.
Why after he'd forced their marriage, he refused to claim her as his.
Even then, her spirit had not broken.
Sure she was in a loveless marriage, a marriage that was filled with hate and the reason for which she knew not. But, after the drama blew over, Nani was happy, Di was happy, Buaji was happy, Amma was happy, Bauji was happy and slowly recovering.
She'd felt that it had been Devi Maiyya's way of responding to her prayers ' to keep her family and friends happy; to make her Bauji better again.
But he wasn't happy.
In any case, he was just more hate-full and angry more than ever.
He'd refused to answer her questions on why he'd married her.
Then she thought that she had it.
She believed that he was still in love with Lavanyaji and even then, being the sacrificial lamb; she had been prepared to join her parents up in the sky as a star for him.
But he'd stopped her.
Finally, finally after 5 months of pleading and questioning him for the reason for their marriage, he'd relented.
He let her know exactly what he thought of her and why he'd married her.
He believed her to be a characterless woman.
Someone who was cheap enough to go after a married man.
Someone who was able to attempt to break a relationship that she'd in fact tried her hardest to save.
Then he'd gone on further to insult her, tell her that her parents would be ashamed of her.
Though she knew that what he thought of her was not true; that she was not the person whom he believed her to be; when he'd uttered those words, something in her broke.
That once named unbreakable spirit of hers, broke.
And no sacrifice that she could make, ones that others could make for her would be enough to put back together the broken girl who had once been Khushi Kumari Gupta.
She became Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada; the wife of a cold, heartless man.
She no longer embodied happiness.
Her name was a curse.
Khushi did not stand for happiness.
In the eyes of Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada, the word 'khushi' did not exist anymore in her vocabulary.
The wife of the said cold, heartless man; became cold and heartless herself.
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