Is marriage an outdated institution?

Originally posted by: seoulbeats

To marry or not to marry that is the question.

Originally posted by: Angel-likeDevil

I wouldnt say it is 'outdated' .

It really depends from person to person.

Personally, marriage looks beautiful to me provided there is love, commitment, respect and communion between the two people and their families.

If love ever happens, and if both the parents are very consenting, I'd definately get married.

Otherwise, it's a big no no. There's nothing more uglier than a marriage where two people are just living together under one roof, indulging in sex while both the individuals arent close enough, adjusting and compromising for one another, getting tired of each other but still managing through, having cold relations with in-laws, lying to one another, being dishonest and unfair to one another, not giving enough time to another - not prioritizing one another, lacking values and an un-systematic way of life together, and having a husband that's chauvinistic/dominating/even a hen-pecked one is all just pitiful.

Originally posted by: Polki_Zofi

Marriage became outdated during the Third Reich in Europe. We suffered since, and the internal and social life changed patterns drastically to an extent that there is no fabric left.

It is difficult to understand unless you pass through the phase. Other than the western and american systems, there is an alternative of a more moderate spiritualistic way of life where marriage and family still plays a central role. As I spent only a few months in India (and I don't follow its movies), all I can say is that it is going through a transition period due to which it is yet unsure of which identity to take for itself. As for Eastern Europe (my country Poland comes into it), we also went through a similar time, however, the concept of marriage is gaining more popularity and it is certainly a much better and stable way of life.

Ofcourse, it also depends on the kind of partner you choose, and how you choose it. The Indian system is different perhaps because of its traditions. In Europe its more a reconstruction, atleast in the Central and East of it. The German and American family model is not popular at all.

I too have noticed increased cases of divorce and failed marriages in recent times. This has definitely cast doubts on institution of marriage and provided fodder to the lot which is against marriage. Here is my objective analysis. lol.

Many things need to happen between the "people date" > "fall in love" > "marry". It is neither complicated nor over simplistic, rather a very natural process.

Originally posted by: King-Anu

I too have noticed increased cases of divorce and failed marriages in recent times. This has definitely cast doubts on institution of marriage and provided fodder to the lot which is against marriage. Here is my objective analysis. lol.

1) The "arranged marriage" system is not working in modern times. Many times you do not know the person and enter into a marriage and then later realized the package you got. By package I mean spouse and family et al.

No idea about it, its an Indian system.

2) Overall there is no such thing as "love". Its a temporary emotion which goes away with time. Maybe there are odd cases but they are rare and few and not for everyone.

No idea about it, its an Indian system. The old system in the Victorian age, of King Sobieski's age in Poland, would be a girl and a boy getting a date arranged by some elder (generally married sisters or aunts) where they get to know in other in a friendly way and then if they like each other they would marry later. Its very different from the Indian system in many ways. It used to work between people whose priorities were "sustained marriage" not just a guy or a girl who is fun to be with.

3) The live ins, no strings, friends with benefits, open relationships are non-commited scenarios which lack sincerity to begin with.

Lack of sincerety cannot sustain any relationship, neither material nor spiritual.

4) Shahrukh Khan syndrome has got to many. One expects someone stylish and handsome as Mr. SRK spreading arms for them and singing songs but ends up with nana paterekar. Lets just say its not a good start. lol.

I saw a movie of this actor during my stay in India. I don't remember much, but I slept before the movie ended 😳😆...probably because I was tired. I like Russian movies more, they are very intellectual.

5) Men on the other hand are unable to come to terms with changing roles and increasing "freedom and liberty" of women in society.

Some roles cannot change, they are biological. Human physic evolved (similar to animal physic) according to its roles and duties. Its a heated debate in the west, and India is taking that from there I suppose. However, equality is surely a very important thing. I have seen Indian women not in equal terms with its men in India, which was something sad. However, I am in favor of some roles which even if I were not in favor would not change.

Overall all comes down to one point and I have made this many times. In this world, wherever you go, whomever you meet, they like you, love you, care for you, accept you for your good. No one accepts you for your ills. Maybe I am being idealistic but I sincerely believe that only those relationships succeed where one accepts others totally. The environment in recent times is such that it is difficult to find such a person. We are superficial who have interests. I think that is the reason. I dont like that. lol

In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with institution of marriage.

Originally posted by: Polki_Zofi

The red replied are mine 😳, felt I add some more