Niharika, the silversmith of the Akirahin chain, is married to actor Ayub Khan. Both come from diverse backgrounds. Niharika has Punjabi and Parsi influences in her family, and Ayub comes from a Pathan family. They are the proud parents of two daughters: Tahura (5 & 1/2 years) and Zohra (2 & 1/2 years). ShaadiTimes has a speedy chat with the celebrity couple on marriage and personal chemistry.
The love story of Ayub and Niharika Khan has many twists and turns. They were college sweethearts and married each other after 15 years of courtship. After college, Niharika went to US and found it difficult to continue with a long distance relationship with Ayub back in India. Both of them married their respective significant others, which did not last long. And after 11 long years of separation, they bumped into each other in a salon accidentally and rediscovered their lost love.
Will you marry me?
With a smile on her face, Niharika recollects, "It was a very special moment. Ayub had taken me to an Italian restaurant in Bangalore. We had a good time but he did not give me any hint of what he had in mind. On our way back, I was surprised to find a big bouquet of red roses in the car. It had at least 5 dozen roses and I found one fake rose in the middle of the bouquet. I said eeks and carelessly threw it away! When Ayub said that it had the engagement ring and that he wanted to propose to me, I started frantically searching for it. Finally it was fun and humour which took over everything else."
Poles apart
"We are like chalk and cheese," says Ayub. "But as the wise saying goes, 'Opposite poles attract each other'. I am very conventional while Niharika always votes for radical and new trends," he says. "We don't agree on a lot of things and have arguments. For example, Ayub is religious while I'm not. But that doesn't affect our relationship because it is based on the strong foundation of love and trust," chips in Niharika.
Do you believe in the institution of marriage?
"To live in a society you have to follow the norms of the society. You cannot fight the norm because if you do so you have to go on fighting throughout your life. And this will affect not only you but all your loved ones too, like your parents and children. Hence I think marriage is necessary to live an easy life. And if you plan to spend your life with someone why not make it a legitimate relationship and give a name to it?" says Ayub.
But Niharika has her own arguments too, "Given a chance, I would definitely have opted for a live-in relationship. Today we lead a very fast life and live-in relationships are more practical now. But keeping in mind the future of my kids, I have come to terms with marriage."
What makes your marriage work?
"Niharika is the one word answer for this," says Ayub. "Well, for a successful marriage you have to put in a lot of effort. You have to pay constant attention to your spouse, learn to accept each other's traits, habits and manners. You have to value her for the person she is and respect her views and emotions. The moment you start taking things for granted and become complacent, it will start affecting your relationship," says Ayub. "For me trust, communication and mutual understanding are the keys to a happy marriage," says Niharika.
Who calls the shots?
"Oh, I'm the typical good Indian woman and Ayub takes all the decisions," laughs Niharika. On a serious note, Ayub says, "We discuss everything before taking any step, so it is more of a joint decision."
| Does love go out of the window after marriage?
"No, it just keeps changing with time and your preferences," says Ayub. "Love is very dynamic. It grows and changes to different degrees through the different stages of life," elaborates Niharika. "Memories play a very important role in sealing love forever. With time, a lot of other things get added to love, like trust, responsibility, children etc. So it cannot die out if you are true to each other," she adds.
To me Niharika is...
"Niharika is everything I want to be. I wish I could be like her. She is patient and loving, and I know she will always be my side through thick and thin. She doesn't impose her decisions. She is quite easy with life, much unlike me. At times, I can be quite irritable as I keep dwelling on the past and find it hard to get over. In those times she helps me to look at the positive side of life. I have learnt a lot from her," gushes Ayub.
To me Ayub is...
His best half says, "Ayub is the practical side to our relationship while I am the emotional or crazy side. He is my conscience and my best friend. He is the Man whom all my friends would love to have in their lives. He is the perfect gentleman with a charming personality and a kind heart. However, he is very stubborn at times and I am trying hard to change this trait of his personality. Motherhood and marriage has changed me a lot. Previously, I was like a tomboy with a bindaas attitude. I was very spontaneous and could be quite selfish and irresponsible at times. Ayub has taught me to be a woman."
Spending time together
"I am at the mercy of my producers for time. But I try to spend as much time as possible with my children. I want to be a part of their growing up and want to be a part of their lives," says Ayub.
"The saddest part is that because of our hectic routines, we hardly get time to spend with each other. But we both make it a point to spend time with our children. I think spending time exclusively with each other is the privilege of the youth. We are too old for that," says Niharika.
Most expensive gifts
"I don't shop for myself. I shop for my home, children and Ayub. In fact, I hardly remember if Ayub ever got an extravagant gift for me. When I was just starting my career and in the initial stage of my marriage, I had bought a Rohit Bal outfit for him which cost a bomb," says Niharika. Ayub, of course, doesn't mind her shopping spree and loves indulging at times.
Tough times
"Both of us have been through tough times in our lives. But they were learning experiences," says Ayub. "In those trying times, everything went topsy-turvy... my personal life, my career... but I always believed that times will change. I tried to find peace in every situation. I did not think much about the present and just let it pass. My strongest source of inspiration was my mother. I have seen how she had gone through the hard times when my father passed away and how she had not lost her cool and brought us up single-handedly. I think that these bad times helped to shape me up as a human being," he said.
"Long distance relationships are very difficult to live up to. This I have realised from my own life. Someone else comes and fills up the space. But finding the right guy is also a tough job. When I was going round with Ayub in my college days, my best friend said that I should marry him. But I did not pay much attention to it. Later, when we lost touch and my first marriage snapped, I was searching for him desperately. I did not have a clue about his whereabouts until we bumped into each other after 11 years!! It was such a bizarre incident. You can say fate or kismat had its way and united us," reflects Niharika. |
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