FF: D for Desire Th# 1 (Ch 1 - 14) - Page 46

10

Khushi was back to hotel by 4 pm today. She overall had had a bad, tiring day. The meeting with the client had gone smoothly but no matter how much she had tried, there was no escape from Arnav Singh Raizada. Every second passed with him would play like a movie in loop in her brain. She had well managed to concentrate on her work but the amount of effort she had to put in for doing so completely stressed her out. After last night, things have got complicated & the parallelly running thoughts eventually gave her a headache. She took a pain killer & decided to take a shower hoping the headache would subside. The bath, however, did not do her much good as she kept thinking about Arnav. She was not feeling comfortable anymore with the way things were going.

When Khushi had acknowledged her attraction to Arnav, she had thought it would go away with time because he had seemed like a jerk most of the times. Well, he was a jerk, no doubt but he had managed to surprise her positively with his weird ways. The more she thought about it, the more she realized she was in trouble – big time.

"I was crazy thinking it would work," Khushi scolded herself as she kept soaping herself in the bathtub. How could she think that knowing him better would help her to get over with him?

"Who knew he was not that of jerk, after all?" Khushi smiled thinking of the moments she had spent with him.

Last two days had not been perfect but it had been exciting. As moments from last night flashed through her mind, Khushi blushed as an unfamiliar yet pleasant sensation ran through her body. When she had looked into his eyes after kissing his cheek, she just had known she wanted him to be the one – the one to make her a complete woman. No matter how things turned out, Khushi knew she would never regret her decision. She had given herself to him because she knew he was worth it – he proved no less.

Khushi could see fireworks last night as she had lied satisfied with her new found womanhood in Arnav's embrace. She had felt pure bliss lying under him, wondering if life could get any better. Khushi knew her first night as a woman would be her favorite memory all her life; this was exactly why she had been feeling so restless. She was in her mission to get rid of him; instead he had made a permanent imprint on her that she feared she could never erase.

"I am not meeting him today," Khushi decided. This had to stop now. She had started it and she would call it a quit too. Khushi had already realized things were getting out of control and instead of steadying her mind, she was perhaps stepping into a whirlpool of dangerous emotions now. She was scared of how even thinking of him was giving her goosebumps & lighting up her heart. Yes, this had to stop now.

Khushi, determined not to meet him today, tried to pass some leisurely time. She indulged herself into a movie and ordered an early dinner in the room. But as the clock kept ticking and 8 was coming nearer, the frequency of her glances at the clock increased. She would need 30 minutes to reach AR and it was already 7.45 pm when Khushi's heart started to revolt uncontrollably. Till then, she had managed to keep her heart tamed with her mind overriding her desire & emotions. But her heart has started striking back. Khushi started to debate with herself on her decision – she even verbalized the pros & cons and was satisfied with her decision to stay back. But her urge was only increasing as the seconds ticked away.

 When the clock struck at 8, her mind finally gave up. Putting on her Kurta, she almost ran out of her room as she tried to reason it with herself.. She at least needed to tell him that this whole thing is over. "He at least deserves this much courtesy from me," Khushi thought, half satisfied, on her way to AR in the taxi.

When Khushi reached AR, it was almost quarter to 9.

"Hey Devi Maiya, if you had to bring me here, why did not you bring me in time?" Khushi whined. "I wonder if Laad Governor is here at all. Chalo .. now that I am here, I will take a chance."

She entered AR but the reception was empty. She was wondering how or whether to enter the office area when the security guard approached her.

"Ms. Gupta?"

"Yes, Khushi Kumari Gupta."

"Sir is waiting for you in his cabin."

Khushi was relieved to know Arnav was still here but she felt a bit nervous wondering how he would react. He must be royally pissed. She thanked the guard as he opened the door for her and she went in. She climbed up to her cabin which was on the first floor in the duplex setup. She knocked on the door twice but there was no response.

"Hey Devi Maiya, please protect me," she uttered a silent prayer as she turned the knob and stepped in.

Khushi almost stumbled upon as he was standing only a few feet apart from the door. She composed herself and looked up to meet a pair of brown eyes that were bursting with strange emotions. Khushi tried to smile & opened her mouth to say something but was startled as Arnav suddenly came forward and hold her by her shoulders roughly.

"Where were you?"

"Woh .. mein .. woh .."

"Why are you so late? Where is your phone?"

"Woh .."

"Tum theek to ho na? Why are you so late?"

Khushi fumbled with words as she was completely taken aback by Arnav's nearly panicked interrogation. She was trying to find suitable words but Arnav carried on.

"What? Talk to me damn it. Are you alright? Where were you? What happened?"

"Woh .. Arnav .. Relax. I am fine. I am just late."

"Just late .. where is your phone?"

"Must be in my bag .. why? Did you call?"

Khushi gulped watching rage creeping into Arnav's eyes. She quickly took out the phone from her bag and the phone almost fell from her hand as she saw there were 21 missed calls – 19 of which were from a certain "Laad Governor". She did not bother to see whom the other two missed calls belong to. She nervously looked at Arnav.

"Sorry, Arnav. My phone was silent. I, I .. did not notice."

Arnav was stuck in a strange juxtapose of two strong emotions – he was feeling relieved as his worries were calming down and at the same time, he was feeling outraged. What did this girl think of herself? How could she just be late like that & behave as if nothing big had happened? He had been dead worried when she had not appeared even after 8. In last six days, he could at least make out this much about her that she was punctual. So as it had crossed 8, his brain had gone haywire trying to figure out what was wrong with her. She had not been picking up her phone and the hotel had confirmed she had left. He had been this close to calling the police when she finally decided to make an appearance! After taking him through such heights of trauma, how could she behave so calmly?

"Are you trying to play with me, Khushi Kumari Gupta?"

Khushi shuddered at the coldness of his tone.

"Wha – what? No, Arnav .. you are misunderstanding me. I .. I was just .."

"Don't you ever dare to do that to me again? Samjhi tum?"

Khushi blinked as he barked. Why was he so outraged? Or was that concern in his eyes? She tried to read what was going inside Arnav but his eyes were not legible. There was something there. Why did she feel like he was just worried & concerned? Why did she feel that the rage was just an aftermath?

"I am sorry, Arnav .. I know I at least should have informed you but .. I  just got carried away .."

And her lips were sealed. She could not utter anything else as Arnav took over her – nearly crashing her within his arms while his lips ravaged hers. Khushi was completely taken aback & was unable to reciprocate the kiss. Her mind went numb and she just gave in to the assault allowing him to play with her mouth as he wanted. Arnav moved away a good minute later leaving her lips completely swollen, making her breathless.

"Arnav Singh Raizada never waits for anyone .. Khushi Kumari Gupta." He murmured dangerously.

Breathing heavily Khushi looked up to meet his eyes. She understood. Arnav Singh Raizada never waited for anyone; but he waited for her. Khushi did not realize from where or why a rush of strange emotions suddenly engulfed her and she forgot everything else. She just threw her hands around him, hugging him tightly, almost letting herself into his toned body and she kissed him. Arnav returned the kiss fervently and as they kissed each other, their sense of time, space or anything else vanished into the air. Nothing else mattered.

Both Khushi & Arnav were in a daze. Their hands & mouth went out of control. They moved together like a single body over the walls, doors, windows of the room – bending over the desk, leaning on the chair, pushing away the printer – spilling water, making a mess of the papers, toppling the mementos. They landed on the couch as they continued to ravage each other's body. Khushi was on top of Arnav and Arnav started unzipping her dress. Khushi also started unbuttoning his vest and then moved on to his shirt. Arnav suddenly sat straight in the couch making Khushi sit on her lap while they continued kissing& undressing each other. Khushi's dupatta & Kurta were lying on the floor while she was caressing Arnav's bare body with butterfly kisses & finger stroke. He was only in his Black trousers and Khushi started tugging his belt. Arnav interrupted as he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the adjoining meeting room still kissing & nuzzling on her neck.

Arnav made Khushi lie down on the table and got rid himself of the remaining clothes completely. Khushi swallowed hard as she could see him in all his manly glory, standing in front of her. She lay straight anticipating him to take things forward, her heart pounding like it had never before. Arnav understood. He smiled slowly and started to place kisses on her face. His mouth slowly traveled to the south as his hands undid her Shalwar. He dipped his nose into her cleavage as he kept on removing the bare minimums too off her, smelling her in.

Arnav had been with a number of women till now and all of them have allowed her to take things to the last extent. But the way Khushi made him feel was something he had never experienced. While with others it was just an act of physical pleasure, with her it was the pleasure of owning her for him. He did not feel like he was taking her – he felt like she was giving herself to him - gift wrapped. As he continued to caress her body with his manly palms & mouth, Khushi started moaning, losing all control. The sound of her moans triggered a higher level of passion in Arnav and his touches on her intensified. He got atop her facing her and as he looked into her eyes he was elated to see the reflection of his own desire into her honey eyes. She was her match.

"You make me feel different, Khushi," was all he could say in soft whispers before losing himself completely into her.

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As the storm of their desire subsided, they lay in each other's arm calmly, easing their breath, smelling each other with a feeling of eternal bliss. They had no idea how long they were lying like that over the hard surface of the table comfortably. As her brain cells started awakening out of the daze slowly, Khushi became aware of her bareness suddenly. It was different the other time since she woke up to find him sleeping but now they were both in full consciousness. Khushi started to get nervous & Arnav could feel her body wiggling very slowly inside his arms. Arnav started to gently trail down the curve of her waist with his finger. Khushi twitched & looked at his face. His face was calm & there was a hint of smile in his eyes.

"Aa - Arnav .."

"Hmmm .."

"Woh .."

"Hmmm?"

"Woh .. can you please close your eyes?"

"Kyun?"

Khushi felt flustered figuring out the amusement in his voice.

"Woh .. I need to get my clothes..."

Arnav smirked lazily.

"Is there really any need for that?"

Khushi blushed hard and her grip on him tightened a bit.

"Please, Arnav."

Arnav smiled. This was what made everything different for him with Khushi. None of the other girls he had ever been with bothered to move around dressed in front him. Rather they were more interested in seducing him in whichever way they found possible. And here, Khushi, after everything, still was wary of herself.

"Ok, fine. No need to blush so hard. Go."

He closed his eyes and could feel Khushi moving away from him.

"Khushi."

Khushi haled in her track.

"Hmmm?"

"You look delicious when you blush."

Though Arnav could not see her, he could guess how red Khushi must have turned. His smile broadened.

Khushi got into her clothes quickly in the cabin. As she was trying to fix her dupatta, she suddenly felt a soft kiss on her nape. She shivered and turned to face Arnav. He was standing leisurely in his trousers only. He raised his eyebrow as if questioning and Khushi smiled awkwardly. Arnav shrugged slightly and started putting on his shirt. His fingers stopped at the button as he suddenly noticed the tousled state of his office.

It was a mess!

As Khushi's eyes followed his, she again turned red. They both realized how wild they must have been though they could not recollect much memory of it. Both smiled at each other awkwardly. Khushi started to fix the things a bit – piling up the papers, organizing the desk. Arnav watched her move as he was tying his shoe laces – this girl always did something to him. He was not familiar with the wavelength of the emotion she caused but he felt good about it. He strode near her to help her and as they were done, Khushi faced her.

"Arnav .. I .. we need to talk."

Arnav frowned.

"Talk?"

"Yes. I actually came late today because .."

"It is not important anymore, Khushi. Next time just let me know." Arnav brushed his thumb across her cheek.

"Next time?" Khushi swallowed. "Well, it is not just about being late."

"Then?"

Khushi removed his fingers from her cheek and held his hand.

"Well, look, I have never hidden anything from you on what I was expecting from you. But I think this is just .. just too much for me."

Khushi could feel him stiffen.

"Look Arnav, I am not that kind of a girl who would just have .. you know .. just be intimate with someone and move on."

"What is wrong with that?" Arnav's voice was beginning to lose the tenderness.

"I, I .. Ok .. tell me something. Forget about my obsession with you or why even we started this whole thing in the first place. Just here standing like this, where do you see us going?"

"Going where? Why do we need to go anywhere? This thing .. whatever we have is working fine for us. You are getting what you wanted. And I will admit I am having a good time with you too. So we can just continue like this .. no strings attached, no responsibilities but of interest for both of us. What could be better?"

Khushi's heart sank. Perhaps this was what she was worried of. He has misunderstood her and in a way, that she could never accept. This was never only good time for her. Yes, she was obsessed with him but she was never looking forward to only having fun with him. The way he had just put these in words had made her feel .. cheap. No matter how much she tried to justify with her own reasons, this was how the whole thing looked liked – they were just having fun for the sake of fun – no strings attached. He was right.

Khushi released his hand.

"I understand, Arnav. It must be very normal for you but it is nothing I am familiar with. And my intentions were never to run into anything like this."

"So?"

Khushi swallowed.

"So I think I better move on. I cannot do this anymore. I dread I will not be able to meet my own eyes."

Khushi could see the change in his countenance.

"So you are done with your little, stupid plan .. Ms. Gupta?" His voice was now every bit of the CEO he was.

Khushi swallowed down the piercing pain she felt suddenly.

"Yes, Mr. Raizada. Apparently I am."

Khushi turned around fast so that Arnav could not understand her effort to suppress her tears. How easily he had gone back to calling her Ms. Gupta. What was she thinking? This was Arnav Singh Raizada – the most wanted bachelor of India. He had been spotted with a number of girls and he was a man who did not believe in formal commitment.

"What were you thinking, Khushi," Khushi scorned herself silently. What was she thinking really? What was she thinking when she decided to ask for an appointment? What was she thinking when she decided to give herself to him? What was she thinking this afternoon? And what .. was she thinking now?

Khushi reached the door in big strides and stopped with her hand on the knob.

"You wanted to know your score. You were at 21. I gave you a full 10 this morning because you made me feel special. And I will give you another 5 now for being honest with me about how you felt about us. So I end scoring you at 36, Mr. Raizada."

"That means I passed. Did you not need me to go below 20?" His voice sounded unaffected."

Khushi replied still facing the door.

"I did. But it is not needed anymore, Mr. Raizada. Will see you in office some time .. soon. Bye."

As Khushi stepped out of his room, she suddenly felt the throbbing headache back. Her head was pounding worse than ever. "This has to be the worst day of my life," Khushi thought as she tried to control her tears, pressing the sides of her head with her fingers. She started to climb down the stairs as quickly as she could but her tearful eyes hardly could make out anything. She almost ran blindly towards the entrance but crashed into something hard. She fell down but before she could stand up the headache started to spin her world. Her vision got blurred and she felt nauseated. She could see the edge of a cubicle within her hand's reach. She reached for it for support but before she could touch it her world suddenly went black.