Anjali Jha is the ultimate enigma.
At roughly 17 years of age, she lost her parents. Her marriage was called off and her mother died of unusual circumstances. She and her fifteen year old brother, Arnav were thrown of their home, and left to fend for themselves. Luckily, their grandmother took them in and raised them with the help of Manorama Mami, Mama and their son Akash, who is a second brother to her. At some point she contracted polio and suffered from a limp as a result.
At the age of 24/25 she married Shyam Manohar Jha – a con man who wooed this rich girl with an inferiority complex because of her limp. She was swept away by a man who would climb up a pipe to get to her window. She is religious and steadfastly maintains fasts, all for the safety of her husband. She can never believe in anything wrong about him.
Anjali is all sweetness and light. Yet when need be, she can be equally manipulative and hard as her brother, except her weapon of choice is emotional blackmail. But she does it so sweetly that people around her can't take exception to it. Arnav is the object of many of these manipulations because he can never say 'No' to his sister.
Pregnant and looking forward to their first child, she faces her first 'betrayal' when her darling brother, Arnav elopes and marries Khushi, on the same night as their other brother Akash is getting married. Arnav never provides an explanation for his sudden decision to marry Khushi. Pretty soon, it becomes obvious that there is something off-kilter about this 'love' marriage. To date she doesn't know why her brother was in such a hurry to marry. His ensuing abduction and rescue and the drama which follows tears her whole world apart. Her brother turns on her husband, throwing him out of the house. She is now alone and pregnant.
The human mind uses multiple mechanisms as defenses to deal with situations that might be hurtful. Anjali uses three of the most common ones: Sublimation, Rationalization and Projection
She sublimates her own doubts and disbeliefs into her obsessive belief in rituals and traditions. She even finds obscure temples and trees to worship so her husband can be safe and unharmed. So she ignores the many pointers over the months that she has had of a cheating husband. He is late from work. He brings her expensive gifts. He always has an excuse to be late or not be there at all. It did not have to be Khushi who was the object of his obsession. It could have been any other person. But she always rationalizes his actions for him and is always ready to forgive him without any repercussions for him. She projects her own goodness on to her husband.
Like the boot she needs for her handicapped leg, there are three emotional crutches in her life. Her husband, who has been thrown out by her brother. Her brother, who prefers to believe his own wife over her husband, who she in turn, thinks everybody should believe. And her various Gods and Goddesses. This is one crutch that she still has.
She has been cocooned by the people around her, each one treating her like a fragile china doll. And she has never shown that she is capable of stepping up to an emotional challenge. Her big eyes have filled with tears at the slightest sign of discord in the family.
She likes her peace but will not defend it. She likes to be happy, but she never has to work towards it, because everybody around her ensures that she is happy. She has not grown emotionally. She is actually less mature than Khushi in that sense. Khushi has taken the challenges life has thrown at her, and thrived and grown with them. Whereas Shyam took full advantage of her pliability and manipulated her to the point where she cannot imagine a life without him.
A marriage grows stronger when there is disagreement and both work towards a compromise. In her case, she was willing to be wooed every time Shyam came up with an excuse and a gift. She wanted him in her life at any cost, even if it meant overlooking the myriad times that he provided flimsy paper thin excuses. Not even his thunderstruck expression when she introduces Khushi to him gave her a clue. She never was able to read him, because she read only what she wanted to. She never questioned him, because questioning him would mean getting answers. She never wanted answers. She just wanted to it to go away so she would not have to face unpleasantness. In that sense, Anjali has become a shallow person.
Anjali has lived in denial her entire life and the Raizadas and especially Arnav has facilitated that.
Now she has to face the harshness of life – for the first time all alone, without a husband and a brother. It will be interesting to see if she and her brother share the same Raizada genes.
Just one interesting afterthought: During the Diwali Rangoli episode – she uses the past tense when talking of her husband - 'He loved me a lot' and 'he cared about me a lot' instead of 'he loves me' and 'he cares for me.' Perhaps a little bit of a Freudian slip?
Anupamaa
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