His eyes ran over the page once again, this time trying to understand what was about it that made him feel lifeless. As if he was drowning and his lungs were screaming for oxygen, even though he was still breathing. The letter slipped through his fingers, as he stared around the room, his eyes travelling from one thing to another.
His perfect bed, on which she once slept like a child... His perfect wardrobe, which no longer held her clothes... His perfect bathroom, which she would never use again. Everything was perfect, except his mind which couldn't wipe her thoughts away. It seemed like even the air held her scent.
Why? He thought, closing his eyes. Why did you leave Khushi?
The answer was obvious. Their contract was over, and frankly he knew this would happen the day he dragged her to the temple and forced her to circle the fire with him. But six months ago, this day seemed like a gift, when he would no longer have to listen to the twinkling of her bangles or the feel the pull of her eyes. But now, it was different. Very different.
But how was that possible? Didn't he establish six months ago that he detested this being named Khushi Kumari Gupta?
Singh Raizada, his mind added. It was habit now.
"Khushi?," came Payal's voice.
The voice of his sister-in-law seemed to bring Arnav back to the problems at hand. Problems much graver than his mixed up feelings.
"Erm... Arnavji?" Payal said. "Do you know where Khushi is?"
Arnav stared at Payal, trying to figure out what to say. It was only a month ago that his family finally seemed to forgive his 'marriage'. But how they will react, upon finding out that it was not made to last, was something he didn't not want to find out.
He hoped that by now things would get settled. However, his brother-in-law only seemed to have gotten worse and his sister, more delicate. Not only was she eight months pregnant, but seemed to need her husband for everything. What was he supposed to do now? How was he supposed to explain his wife's absence until the delivery? And what was the guarantee his sister would be able to accept the fact that her husband is a cheat, when the baby in her tummy moved to her lap?
Arnav mentally kicked himself for hoping too much. How did he not see this coming? How did he get carried away in his anger that he didn't think about the conscequence? He laughed at others who let their hearts rule their decisions, but was he any better than them?
Pretending you can fight your feelings is not going to change the truth, his mind whispered.
Yes, it will. It has to.
Payal was confused to see the blank stare she received in response. Deciding that maybe Arnav was caught up with some business, for Akash too seemed to be stressed out lately, she turned to the door, when her eyes fell on the letter.
Instantly recognizing Kushi's hand writing, she picked it up and began reading. Her shock upon finding out the truth was nothing comparable to the reactions that were going to follow from the rest of the family.
"Six months?" she said, thunder-struck.
Arnav was jerked out of his thoughts to see a disbelieving Payal staring back at him with questions. He snatched the letter from her hands.
"Its nothing," he muttered. "It's a misunderstanding."
He did what he was best at - locking away his heart. In that situation, he found only one solution. Bring Khushi back, until he figured out what to do with his brother-in-law. His anger, hurt and an unexplainable ache in his heart were all secondary issues.
But Payal wasn't fooled. "Misunderstanding?" she fired back. "My sister just left this house and you are saying its nothing?!"
"Look," he said. "I don't have time for this. We will talk once I come back."
"No," Payal said, putting her foot down. "You aren't going anywhere until you explain what you did to her!"
Arnav was surprised to see the determined Payal. She appeared angry, and the way she blocked the doorway, reminded him sorely of Khushi.
"Yes," he said. "This marriage was only for six months. Anything else?"
"But...but why?"
"Because she deserved it," he answered, shrewdly. "She deserved everything she got."
Payal's distressed face cleared, as rage took over at his harsh comments. Yes, she was guilty of accusing Khushi for the past six months, but now it became a matter of justice. She watched her one and only sibling go through too much in her life, to let one man, whoever he may be, ruin everything they struggled to re-build. "Where is she?"
"I don't know," he continued in his business-like tone.
She let out a sarcastic laugh. "How come? You know everything right?!"
Arnav's eyes flashed, which was not unnoticed by Payal.
"Getting angry?" she asked. "If you are getting mad at such a small thing, then do you have any idea what she would have been through in these six months?"
When Arnav didn't reply, she said, "What kind of a person are you? Does it not bother you in the slightest? How do you even face yourself in the mirror?"
"Enough," Arnav bellowed. No one talked him in that tone. "I don't know where your sister ran off too. Its not the first time she did, but trust me, I will find her and bring her back."
Payal flinced at his raised voice, but didn't back down. With every passing second, Khushi's pain seemed to stab her even more sharply. "So you can force her to live as your fake wife again?"
Arnav didn't answer. What excuse he was going to use to bring Khushi back was something he was still working on.
"I don't understand why you would even get married in the first place?" Payal continued, her tone angry. "You don't believe in these relationships, so why would you pretend?"
"That's none of your business."
"Of course its my business! This is my younger sister's life!"
"Please," he said, holding up his hand. "Stop this emotional drama! Know your sister's truth before singing her praises to me."
"As if you know her!" Payal retorted. "What did she ever do to you that you are punishing her like this? Ever since she met you, all she faced were problems. First it was your office, then your girlfriend and now this! But she never said a word... she took care of you and your family like it was her own!"
Anger flared in Arnav. "Like her own?" he spat. "Yeah right! All she did was break my family! But what more can I expect from a person like her?"
Payal was now outraged. "Yeah, you can't expect anything, because you don't deserve to understand my sister. You are so arrogant, that you don't even know what you lost."
Arnav glared at Payal.
"But I am so stupid," she said, sarcastically. "I forgot that I was talking to Arnav Singh Raizada, who can't see anything past someone's status."
Arnav didn't react to the comment. He lived with his family long enough to know how they act in a fit of anger, and unfortunately Payal seemed to be going through the same. But he couldn't care less, because he knew he was right... he always was.
"But you know what," Payal said, cutting through his thoughts. "I accept it - It was my sister's fault. Its only Khushi's fault she loved a man like you and more than that loved this family. It was for your sister's sake she kept Shyam-"
Payal stopped in mid-sentence, just catching the truth that was about to slip out of her mouth. But the damage was already done.
Arnav, who began to make a list of places Khushi could have gone, was caught off guard at the mention of his brother-in-law. "What about Shyam?" he asked.
Payal didn't answer.
"Tell me Payal," he urged. "What about Shyam?"
When she remained quiet, he took a step forward, towering over her petite figure. "I swear Payal," he said in a dangerous voice. "If you don't tell me-"
He didn't need to finish the threat.
"Fine," Payal said. "You want to know the truth right, then listen. The son-in-law everyone praises, in reality just wants money. Your money. He doesn't love Di. In fact, he betrayed everyone. He lied and got engaged to Khushi, and when the truth came out, Khushi kept quiet for the sake of your sister. Because she knows how much Di loves him and more than that she knows how much hurt you will be knowing the truth. To save your family, she put with everything Shyam did."
Silence followed Payal's words. Arnav stared blankly, his mind refusing to register her ringing voice.
He lied and got engaged... does that mean, for the first time ever, he was wrong? Was he too hasty?
"What were you saying?" Payal continued, taking Arnav's silence as his surrender. "She deserved everything she got? Then tell me, did the girl who lost her parents, deserve to be played with? The one who valued love and marriage more than her life deserved to be engaged to a married man and wedded to someone else for a six-month contract?"
"No," Arnav whispered, the truth finally sinking in.
While some part of him, the rational half, was relieved to finally understand why Khushi's behaviour never matched up to his reasoning, the rest of him was scrambling to hold up the weight of reality.
"Happy now?" Payal asked, sarcastically. "Khushi left forever!"
Arnav's legs buckled as he landed on his knees. All those hurtful things he said to her, all pain he caused her, only to find out she was never wrong?
"No," he repeated. "That's... that's not true..."
Payal was shocked to see her brother-in-law on the floor and more so as she listened to the jumble of words stumbling out of his mouth. It was not normal to see a man of such power, tormented. With every word he uttered, he seemed to be breaking down even further. As if all his walls came tumbling down. As if the great Arnav Singh Raizada was nothing but a mere mortal, whose heart wasn't a stranger to the pain life offered.
"Arnavji?" she called, worried. She didn't know what she said that caused him this much pain.
But he was in a world of his own, where finally, his emotions burst through his restraints and took control of his body.
It was fate's way of getting back at him for evading its offerings for too long.
"She has to come back," Arnav whispered at last. It seemed as if he aged a hundred years in the last five minutes.
Payal gazed at him, not knowing what to say. All her rage was washed away, for her anger at him was nothing compared to the fury he had for himself.
So, he picked up his car keys and made his way out of the room, only to see Anjali sprawled on the floor, unconscious.
"DI!"
It was on the way to the hospital, that Arnav finally understood what that letter meant.
I lost you Khushi...
35