shehroon_riaz thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1

Hi Everyone,


Well, I don't know many of you guys here but just to introduce myself on the writer's corner, I am Shehroon and I'm 15 years old. I've read some of your works and they are amazing. There are so many talented writers on here and I don't think this piece of work is half as good as theirs but still I'm going to post it only because I don't want to write anything else.

Well initially this piece of writing was for an English essay type thing. Actually, it was the 'Information & Ideas' section of the English Language course. There was a day left till our exam and our teacher just gave us this task which would have been part of the exam. Well the aim was to write about an unexpected event. I had thought about it so much and couldn't think of anything.. But finally, I did and after writing it, I handed it in. Though there was no point in me getting it back the day after the exam, the teacher still did and surprisingly this was a Band 1/2 piece of work, which is equivalent to a low A* and High A. The grade boudary equivalences are different in every part of the world so this may be wrong. But yeahh, since I got it, I was thinking that I would post it on IF to find out your views on it. I know its not as good or good at all compared to everything else. Lol, if any of yous' know me, you will know that I type a lot - and I think that is just visible in the introduction.
Anyways, I'll continue with my work. Its not long because there was a word limit of 600 words and this is I think just over 600 (but I'm sure that doesn't make a difference)


Actual OS/Piece Of Writing in the post below 😊

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shehroon_riaz thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2


MIDNIGHT'
When Wishes Come True

Somewhere in the middle of Asia, in the unusual cold breezed weather of Abu Dhabi, I was awoken by the Azaan at dawn which was the call for Fajr Prayer.

Though I was extremely tired, I got up to freshen up and read my prayer. Another motive behind my getting up was so that I could hear my dad's greeting. He used to greet me every day before going to the mosque to read whilst I read at home with my mum. However, today was different; not only did he go without greeting me but he also thought that by rushing out of the house, he would be able to conceal his worried face from me.

Swiftly I read my prayer and made an unspoken request to Allah asking him for the well-being of this family. After doing so, I went and sat in the lavish lounge to wait for dad to arrive home. There was a sudden delay in his arrival today ' something which was very strange of him. He should've known that today wouldn't be any different from the previous days where I would wait for him no matter how long he took.

The air gushed through my hair, which told me that he was here.

I turned around. His face spoke to me and today like every other time he hid something from me, his face explained to me that he wasn't happy to find me waiting for the arrival. He came wordlessly and sat next to me ' his face being turned away from me. He held onto my hand from behind for support before saying,
"I'm sure that you know about the wars that are ongoing in Afghanistan and Iraq. Being the Deputy Supreme Commander of the UAE Armed Forces, I have been assigned to this mission to help save thousands of innocent lives. I know that it is extremely hard for you accept this sudden change but I couldn't deny the Head Supreme Commander's order."

Silence. I tried to figure out what he exactly meant by saying this. When I did realise the meaning, I slipped my hand out of his and embraced him ' with no tears and no sorrow. I think he was confused because he would have expected me to break down into tears.
"Mannat, are you alright dear?" he asked quietly, whilst his palms were being stroked against my sleek hair.
"Is this what you were hiding from me? How could you think that I would be sad to hear such news. I can't believe that MY dad has been chosen out of everyone to represent Abu Dhabi! I'm proud of you dad' I knew that you'd become everyone's hero one day!" I exclaimed.

I also felt the need to ask him when he would come back. He laughed at the thought that he hadn't even left and I was asking him questions about when he would be back. He hugged me this time and said;
"No matter how long this may take me, I'll be back by a midnight ' a midnight when your wishes will come true; your birthday' I promise!"

Yet even after 3 midnights where I have continuously asked for the same wish; he has not returned. My mum has accepted the fact that he will never return. At first he did call every Friday but since a year and a half ago, this has stopped. There have been no calls and no messages.

But I am still living on those last few words that he said. Maybe just maybe this will be the midnight where my wishes will come true'

_________________________________________________________________________

So guys, how did you like it?
Was it good - maybe near enough to the quality you're used to reading?
Please do hit the like button so I know who did like it and do comment...

Shehroon x

Edited by shehroon_riaz - 13 years ago
DivanIsh thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3
i m speechless wid teary eyes...its one of the best works i have read till date...i m sorry but i m not in my senses so cant type much but i just loved it...thanks for giving me a chance to read
ms_1991 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
its absolutely wonderful baby..a very different story and you write soo well..keep working on this talent and may b one day yull be one of the best writer..!!:)

and hey are yu actually from abu dhabi..just asking as even i m from auh!:)
shehroon_riaz thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: pankhuri.gupta

i m speechless wid teary eyes...its one of the best works i have read till date...i m sorry but i m not in my senses so cant type much but i just loved it...thanks for giving me a chance to read


Awwh. Thank You so much!!
I actually thought that it wouldn't be of any use. You're motivating me now, will be posting another one soon :)
I should say thanks to you for being the first person to comment on here :)
shehroon_riaz thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: ms_1991

its absolutely wonderful baby..a very different story and you write soo well..keep working on this talent and may b one day yull be one of the best writer..!!:)


and hey are yu actually from abu dhabi..just asking as even i m from auh!:)


Awwh. Thank You :)
funny you say that because I'm planning on writing a piece/ maybe sequels on my friend and her life. Its fascinating thats why :D
Maybe won't but I told her and she was like when you've wrote it, publish it into a book and send me a copy and I was like 'Lemme get out of High School'
Ermm, no.. I'm actually not from Abu Dhabi. My aunty lives there and she was partially on my mind which is why I wrote it being set there. Plus, she's going to have a baby girl so I'm planning on calling her Mannat. I told her that I have dibs on choosing the name for the baby 😊
We're going Abu Dhabi in the middle of August because of Eid - planning on celebrating it there :)
Oh and I live in the UK..

NinaArief thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7
its really touching and well written .. losing a parent is bad enough but to live with the clashes of hope and despair is harder, and you have brought it out well.
mannat .. hangover from ehm?? LOL

mannat.urwish thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8
wowww..itzz soo beautifully written...❤️d last lines feared me...i actually has goosebumps wid tears in maah eyes n i was clenching on maah teddy bear sooo firmly...i donno y bt i cud feel d pain that "Mannat" might be feeling while waiting for someone who wud nevr cum back...😭😭 u r an amazingg writer...🤗do PM me wen u write next please...n thanq sooo much for d PM...😊
shehroon_riaz thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: NinaArief

its really touching and well written .. losing a parent is bad enough but to live with the clashes of hope and despair is harder, and you have brought it out well.
mannat .. hangover from ehm?? LOL


Yeahh exactly what you're thinking. I think I should have put Viraat's name in their, it'd be a VirMaan special :D
shehroon_riaz thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: mannat.urwish

wowww..itzz soo beautifully written...❤️d last lines feared me...i actually has goosebumps wid tears in maah eyes n i was clenching on maah teddy bear sooo firmly...i donno y bt i cud feel d pain that "Mannat" might be feeling while waiting for someone who wud nevr cum back...😭😭 u r an amazingg writer...🤗do PM me wen u write next please...n thanq sooo much for d PM...😊


Awwh - I actually did cry a little whilst writing it and my teacher was asking me, 'Have you really lost your father?' - And I'm like no.. and she was like 'Well you've put it together perfectly'
Thank You - love your compliments. You're flattering me now :)
Will do defo
And you're welcome :)

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