Shobhaa De dispenses fashion gyan to MD, VB, Rani

Bollywood Ladies in need of stylists!

Never mind what the fashion-illiterate , self-styled desi 'Fashion Police' say about our stars ( nothing very much, actually!), but even for those who don't follow trends, it is becoming pretty obvious that by obediently wearing what stylists throw their way, does not a star fashionista make. Some of our former leading ladies are looking positively comical these days. All because of this current 'fashion mania' that has gripped Bollywood. Every female star wants to look 'hot'. Every star mom's secret fantasy is to be identified as a 'Yummy Mummy', even before her poor baby has been weaned. Assuming the baby is breast fed ("What happens to my figure? My boobs? Quick!Get that formula bottle'"), and the star mum still has to shed those extra kilos, shouldn't a sweet and sincere girl friend tell her it's okay not to squeeze into those dreadful, clingy, Bangkok 'gowns'?

The latest to fall prey is a woman ( no longer qualifies as a 'girl'), Kaajol, who has never given a damn in the past as to what the latest craze was ( she left that to her younger sister). Kaajol was Kaajol. An absolute natural ' untidy hair, smudged eyeliner, ill-fitting clothes'. and attitude. Loads of attitude - that was her best fashion statement and accessory. Her fans loved her for it. She rarely partied with the Bollywood set. Nor did her husband. And on the rare occasions when she did show up at a public event, it was in non-starry outfits, generally unflattering but altogether endearing. That's what everybody loved and admired about this talented, feisty, individualistic woman. A few weeks ago, she showed up at a store promotion, clad in something so horribly wrong for her body type, people gasped in shock. Was that really Kaajol in that ghastly electric blue, short and exceedingly tight cabaret dancer dress? Yes, sir. It was. And one immediately wanted to summon her stylist ( does she have one?) and send the person off to the nearest fashion school for some basic lessons in how not to dress a client.

Ditto for the lovely Madhuri. Her smile is dazzling. True. But it is no substitute for a great outfit' a terrific saree. Madhuri never did project any specific style , even during her hey days. Then, all those years of staying away from Bollywood obviously hit home rather rudely . When she finally packed her bags, husband and kids to come home, she forgot to junk her American wardrobe' more Sear's than Selfridge's. She plunged into reality shows in which it is mandatory to dress in dreadful clothes and wear purple lip colour. One forgave her those early fashion faux pas. She'd soon pick up on what's cool, her admirers reasoned. But that didn't happen. Today, Madhuri continues to sport a rather dated and decidedly down market look, though she can well afford the best. Those lace and net sarees'. the OTT accessories. No,no,no. It's not happening. Where is Manish Malhotra when we need him the most?

That brings us to Vidya Balan'. yes, yes, yes'. India's Meryl Streep. The best actor around. Amazing. Gifted. Bold. Sab kuch. But please, someone tell her there are ways and ways and ways to drape those magical six yards. And she does not have to look like an amma , an aie, a gaon ki chhori, when she is off duty. For working an exquisite Kanjeevaram, there's nobody better than Rekha to instruct her. And if she chooses to take the rustic route, there are ways to achieve a boho chic look, without appearing as if you have gone girlie shopping to a dhobi ghaat'. and walked away with someone else's washing. Vidya is abundantly blessed with natural beauty, great hair, dancing eyes and a lovely smile. She can carry off ' Studiedly Simple' like nobody else in Bollywood . Will someone convince her to ditch those donkey brown sarees, heavy velvet , three quarter sleeve cholis for something slightly more elegant and feminine? Her choice of sarees ( possibly picked by her favourite designer) don't do her any justice. If anything, such stiff and heavy fabrics add kilos to Vidya's plump frame. Her role model should be Shabana Azmi who used to get ethnic-chic completely right, till she too switched gears ( a recent phenomenon).

Rani Mukherjee is displaying genuine confusion in all aspects of her life, fashion included. Like Vidya, Rani is an authentic all- Indian, rustic beauty. Like Vidya, she is hugely talented and versatile. We know 'Bunty aur Babli' is a part of history. But vintage Rani always got it right, even when she did off-camera Bengali 'Bahuma', with such grace and charm. Today, Rani is seen in designer gear ( frightfully pricey, no doubt), which robs her of her natural charm, strips her off her real personality, and makes her look like any other wannabe. Rani in jeans? Rani in gowns? Whyyy? Leave that to the newbies who are desperate to attract attention and make it to Page 3. Rani is Rani. She should dress according to her new found status. Oh oh' maybe not. We like our Rani in Bong-influenced outfits, traditional gold jewellery and a big red bindi. We hope she never resembles a prosperous Punjabi behenji-bahu.

So, what's happening with these ladies? It can't be panic? Surely not? Look at Karishma Kapoor. Just look at her. Bravely soldiering on as she weathers domestic storms and gets ready for her comeback. Look at Sridevi ( also poised to re-enter Bollywood). Lolo's look and looks are getting better and better. She stays true to classic and that's what suits her . Sridevi' ummm'. some cause for worry, there. She has a great body. But her personality is so fixed in our minds, it's hard to applaud when she wears say, a Balenciega or a Halston. So not Sri! Next, we'll have Hema Malini stepping out in a strapless,edgy Valentino. Aiyyyo. God help us.

Stars who get it right almost all the time are Preity Zinta ( the Ness-effect, some call it), and increasingly, Kangana Ranaut ( let's credit her own native instincts for what she can rock). For the rest on this list ' we have a brilliant suggestion. It's called a mirror.