archana is being blamed for purvi-illogical

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

Poas, I will try and respond to each of the 4 points you have raised from my perspective.1) I don't think anyone can question Archana's love for Purvi. I am not sure if you read the post I had written about Arhcana's bond with Purvi, Purvi is her soul child, thicker than water. It matters not whether by adopting Purvi, an orphan, she gave a new life to the baby. Archana got a lot from it too, this child saved her, she poured all her pent-up mamta on this child. There can be no doubt as to whether Archana loves Purvi, she has been her lifeline, the two share a love that is both pure and strong.

2) No one is begrudging Archu her emotions on seeing Teju and Ovi. Any mother who has longed to see her children for this long will be overcome, only word of caution to Archu is to tone it down a bit in front of Purvi. Sharing everything with your child does not mean constantly going ga-ga over another child in front of the first. When you have more than one child, if you praise or talk about one over the top, the other child will get a little insecure. This amongst natural siblings, so in Purvi's case, it will probably be a bit more than natural insecurity. Her mother has celebrated these girls' birthdays all her life, her mom undoubtedly loves these absentee daughters of hers but now they are on the scene and her mother is constantly over the moon with delight over at least one of them.

To a child, especially an adopted one, there might arise the question of does my mother love me the same. No doubt Archana loves Purvi if not the same perhaps more than her own natural daughters. She has raised Purvi since a baby, shared her growing pains, nurtured and taken care of her, that is a very strong bond that nothing can replace.

All Archu shares with her other two daughters is blood, there is still no history, no building of bonds that she shares with Purvi. Is it natural for Purvi to feel a bit insecure? Yes, absolutely. Is it okay for Archu to be that excited over her daughters? A resounding yes. Does she need to tone it down a bit? In my mind, unquestioningly yes. Purvi has already told Archu, "you don't think I am yours anymore", Archu has told her, "you don't know what importance you hold in my life", Purvi does not know the hold she has on her Aai. A hundred Ovis will not be able to erase the bond or love she shares with her Aai. That said, as any mother of more than one child knows, you don't unduly praise one in front of another or give more attention to one over the other, the second child will get upset, if for a bit, a mother knows to balance praise and attention between her children. Initially, we all gave Archu leeway as she had just met Ovi and was ecstatic about it, now she needs to mellow it down a bit. That is all. Normal for Archu to feel that way but just asking her to curb it in front of Purvi.

3) Archana did ask Purvi about her pain, the first time they were rudely interrupted by Manav and there was no follow up on Archana's and Purvi's conversation. The second time was last week when the CVs perhaps read all our comments and realized that they better make Archana ask Purvi. Yes, she did ask Purvi and that girl adroitly turned the tables on her mother by bringing up the subject that most occupies her mother's mind now - Ovi and Teju. Archana might have been hoodwinked by Purvi at that instant but as a mother she needs to re-think the situation at her leisure if she has any time between Manav, Ovi and Sachin and come back to Purvi and question her seriously, She has enough hints, she has already noticed Purvi has been sad since the engagement, she wants to quit her job, etc. Any mother would see a red alert more so than Archu has seen in this case. While I don't blame Archu even in the least bit for any of the other 3 points you have raised, this one thing about Archu does irk me. A mother asking and a child hiding the truth doesn't absolve the mother. If children hide stuff from their mother, she will not rest until she gets to the bottom of it. But then not all mothers are pre-occupied as Archana is, so I will give her a wide berth but she does need to wake up to the fact that all is not well with her soul child, her most favorite of daughters, and I mean that last one sincerely.

4) Archana asking Purvi who the other girl is, is not wrong at all. As you have pointed out, a mother will turn to her other children to find out what is amiss with any one of them. If we on the forum bemoaned the fact as to why Archu asked Purvi it is because Purvi is the other girl, unbeknownst to Archana. Raising the question, "why did Archu have to ask Purvi" was not blaming Archu at all but the situation, now Purvi is caught between a rock and a hard place, not that she already isn't. It is like when I have done something wrong and get caught, I might ask, "oh, my why did she have to ask that quesion?"

I don't think anyone on the forum can question either Archana's fairness or her abiding love for Purvi, they both are a given.

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

All Archu shares with her other two daughters is blood, there is still no history, no building of bonds that she shares with Purvi. Is it natural for Purvi to feel a bit insecure? Yes, absolutely. Is it okay for Archu to be that excited over her daughters? A resounding yes. Does she need to tone it down a bit? In my mind, unquestioningly yes. Purvi has already told Archu, "you don't think I am yours anymore", Archu has told her, "you don't know what importance you hold in my life", Purvi does not know the hold she has on her Aai. A hundred Ovis will not be able to erase the bond or love she shares with her Aai. That said, as any mother of more than one child knows, you don't unduly praise one in front of another or give more attention to one over the other, the second child will get upset, if for a bit, a mother knows to balance praise and attention between her children. Initially, we all gave Archu leeway as she had just met Ovi and was ecstatic about it, now she needs to mellow it down a bit. That is all. Normal for Archu to feel that way but just asking her to curb it in front of Purvi.
i dont get u a hundres ovi means😕i dont want to debate bc i m not good at debate.i just want to say if archana excitement about ovi its very logical,it doesnt mean she not caring purvi and there is no comparison between 1purvi and 100 ovi.archana gave her love purvi for 18 years now if archu show more excitement and occupied with ovi-teju [ sp when she knows they going to leave her after 3months] is nothing wrong.why ppl r so ready to say archana's talking about ovi-teju showing more over exciting😲😲archana mentiontion again and again she never dream she can see her daughters again whom she lost but now she got them but cant say she is her mom,its very terrible,so archana thinking she will love at best she can for next 3months which she couldnt do last 18years.if still she show less interest to talk about them and thinking more for purvi its also fault of archana.she is again abused bc many critic m done before that archana dont bother her kids and hand over them to manav bc she doesnt care them.purvi is with her so archana just giving sp time/attention to fullfill her love last 18years,there is nothing wrong. even mother give much time those kids who lives forighn come for few months.others kids who live with their mother also enjoy with their siblings.but here arjun created problem fall in love with purvi but committed to ovi now all disgusted with ovi and archamna's love for ovi.when ovi create problem with purvi after knowing truth then she can b blamed.
it seems archana's real daughters becoming big headache. she was far away from them it was ok.when they come ack in archana's life its becoming archana's fault.she should only think of purvi bc ovi teju dont deserve archana's love/effection bc 100 of ovi teju cant b purvi.sorry to say how can b a kid's love =100kids love?to a mom all kids equal.

Originally posted by: poas