Being Alone.

No man is an island. Human beings are naturally social beings. Being truly alone is against the grain of human nature. Even the most introverted aloof loners have an intrinsic need to belong to a society. But love, sex, marriage etc. is just one aspect of socialization. You don't have to have a lover or spouse. No one is alone because they are not dating or planning on marrying. I think romance and marriages were institutions stemming from the desire to propagate the human race and construct lineage.

Personally I'm not looking for relationships and don't want to get married. People find that odd, but I find immense satisfaction in being by myself curling up and reading a book. One reason is that I'm introverted and prefer solitude. Even though I'm completely at ease with a group of friends, with family etc, I'm extremely awkward with one on one interactions. Attaching myself to one human being just doesn't come naturally to me. Finally, I'd like to travel the world and do my own thing. I really hate the thought of obligations and commitments. If I feel like it, I want to be able to spontaneously go on a day trip and do what I want. I don't like the idea of having to think of someone back home. People don't see it as a norm, but I don't care. If anything ever comes my way that I want to be with someone so be it. But for now I'm happy and feel connected to people my way. I don't understand the people craving for someone, especially when it gets to a point of desperation as I see in some friends who go through strings of bad relationships.

Originally posted by: Angel-likeDevil

Hello DM-ers! 😛

Okay, I wanted to write this since a long time, but I thought it'd be boring and IDK if it's appropriate for DM aaand, IDK if I'd make sense and make myself clear to you readers...anyways, I'll just try to make this topic, the MODs can close it if this topic is redundant.

I was wondering why people cannot be alone? Like, why does everyone look for a companion?

I have seen many of my friends..like ALL of my friends, they want someone to be with them all the time. Both, either, romantic companion and a buddy. Especially a romantic companion? EVERYONE, of all age-groups, SOOO want a lover, and even small kids like 11-12 year olds too have/WANT romantic partners!! 😕 why is that??

And, in a way, it's UBER ANNOYING when I see guys and girls of my age going "forever alone :( " ..and all that bullshit, because, c'mon, W*F, you're just 17-18 years old, and your already in so much rush to get a lover?! 😆 anyway, I quite dont get it... even the 15 year olds say such nonsense and TBH, I feel like smacking on their heads. You all must've seen kids, adults, middle-aged, young-aged, old-aged, EVERYONE of them because this seems to be existing globally! They want a companion or else, they're sad and bogged down!

On the contrary, what makes me ponder more, is that I'm too detached and all, and I find myself enjoying more when I'm all alone...especially since past few months. I mean, I find all the time in the world to read, listen to music, watch TV and what not -- when Im alone which isnt the case when I'm with someone.. But, nowadays, I even enjoy being by myself more than hanging out with my parents/besties(which is making me feel so guilty). These days, I get annoyed when my friends act too clingy..and all these are making me feel so guilty but I cant brush away the truth. :(

So, why does everyone look for a companion? someone who they can talk to? They want someone who they can make an emotional/physical/intellectual bond with. Sure you'd want a soul-mate, but what's that hurry? It's amazing when you fall in love, but why are they always on a hunt?? It's like people WANT to fall in love, they dont allow themselves to. Why do people(all ppl, young, old, teens, all people of ALLL agre groups!) act so sad/lonely yada yada when they dont have a lover?? Why cant they enjoy being alone?? Whyy?? Is it important to crave for a companion??

I have soo many friends and people I know, although they seem normal/happy..they're all craving for lover/are love-lorn themselves :( .. they want to hangout with friends too. I've never seen anyone enjoying being alone(maybe one person or two besides my father)...why is that?

Also,

I get told that I'm weird..because I'm warm and sweet and friendly with everyone in college(face-to-face), I am by nature like that, I dont try to put on that friendly face, it's just me...but I dont let anyone cross the "face-to-face" hi-hello-bye-bye(like phone numbers, messaging, texting, hangouts..no, I dont do such stuff)...one girl told me I'm split and my behaviour seems to offend male-egos. 😳

Is it wrong to be detached?? Is it wrong not to maintain a large circle of friends and keep only the close ones near you? Why is it socially weird/unpleasant when a girl doesnt care about anyone and cares only about her two bestfriends??!

I wanna know.. :( ..please give your feedbacks! ...and, thankyou :)

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

No man is an island. Human beings are naturally social beings. Being truly alone is against the grain of human nature. Even the most introverted aloof loners have an intrinsic need to belong to a society. But love, sex, marriage etc. is just one aspect of socialization. You don't have to have a lover or spouse. No one is alone because they are not dating or planning on marrying. I think romance and marriages were institutions stemming from the desire to propagate the human race and construct lineage.

Personally I'm not looking for relationships and don't want to get married. People find that odd, but I find immense satisfaction in being by myself curling up and reading a book. One reason is that I'm introverted and prefer solitude. Even though I'm completely at ease with a group of friends, with family etc, I'm extremely awkward with one on one interactions. Attaching myself to one human being just doesn't come naturally to me. Finally, I'd like to travel the world and do my own thing. I really hate the thought of obligations and commitments. If I feel like it, I want to be able to spontaneously go on a day trip and do what I want. I don't like the idea of having to think of someone back home. People don't see it as a norm, but I don't care. If anything ever comes my way that I want to be with someone so be it. But for now I'm happy and feel connected to people my way. I don't understand the people craving for someone, especially when it gets to a point of desperation as I see in some friends who go through strings of bad relationships.

Originally posted by: hindu4lyf

The reason 11-12 year olds feel like having a life partner at that age is probably because they listen to too many Bieber songs lol.

Being alone is not just to do with having a life partner. It's something we as humans feel from a very young age, just to feel wanted. To have someone to share our thoughts and feelings with. Having a partner, or entering a marriage basically provides a sense of security for many people that they will always have that someone who will be there for them. It's something that people don't usually walk out of as easily, unlike friends, who no matter how close can easily drift away.

I guess if you wanna take the traditional approach then humans aren't born to be alone. People seek a companion all the time, many don't even realise it. Some do it through parties and social events, others do it through the internet, talking to people with similar interests and likes.

About your last question. I'm guessing that person has trust issues. It happens to all of us when we put our trust in someone and it's broken and we're hesitant to do the same again. Some people easily overcome it because that's just how they are. Others use that experience and are cautious when it comes to putting their trust in someone else. The reason it's considered 'socially weird' is because we're destined to meet a lot of people throughout our lifetime, and to have so little trust to not be able to develop a similar sort of relationship with anyone else can be worrying. But who knows, maybe when you come across that certain someone, you'll automatically find it in you to develop that trust and build upon the relationship?

P.S. Those 'forever alone' gif's and memes are actually pretty funny lol. At least better than the YOLO crap anyway.

Originally posted by: Prometeus

Just Remember:- We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone... Aloneness is our very nature...be cool.😃which is natural to us, we try to ignore ..I have seen people playing Chess alone... . They have invented games in which the same person plays chess from both sides...somehow one wants to remain engaged..n I know some ppl hate weekends...cos nothing to do at home...People play cards, chess, watch TV ,Sit online for hours... just to avoid themselves...I BELIEVE ,if someone know their aloneness they can create, then they can be involved in as many things as they want, bcos involvement will not anymore be running away from yourself

Personally I love lonliness...i like to sit somewhere n think about nothing..bt aaj kal time nahi .😃

PROMETEUS!

Originally posted by: Angel-likeDevil

PROMETEUS!

the red underlined part! --- That was my question! I AGREE WITH YOU. 👍🏼

Beautiful post 🤗 .. I agree with every single word.. 😃

@black bold -- no words :) ..I got my answer :):) ...

EDIT : I wanna know if attachment to parents would come under "wanting to engage with someone" . We say we're attached to parents..I say! because I strongly am.. i believe i am.. 😳 but we see many cases of people hurting their own parents, cheating, leaving their parents and what not.. in turn, some parents do that to their children... so, is there any love? I believe love is freedom...In my view,parents can give directions ,support,care n love to their children...children need privacy, thy need freedom to be. Bt every parent is trying to make the child into something other than s/he is...they are telling the child to become Dr or engineer or Billgates...children are always afraid... the fear is that if they are true then the parents are hurt.. If they want to satisfy the parents thy have to be untrue... thn it hurts them... This is the problem..your parents cant conceive who you are going to be..every parent wants and expect his child to be the greatest..fact ye hey ki, each parent is living his unfulfilled desires through his children...so its happens..😊

Is "attachment" and "bond" true/real??I think Attachment/bondage is not love..cos it cant grow..but love can grow...😊 ...or are we so attached to the "engaging" part... gah, I hope I'm clear in what I wanna say.. just B+...every morning look yourself in the mirror and say: I'm good enough, I'm smart enough..to handle all kind of issues in life...😃