Hope you enjoy...just some scribbling
For you Imran!
"Arre Khushi betiya aa gayi aap'''aaiye-aaiye aapko ek khushkhabri deni hai", Nani spoke affectionately sitting on the living room couch with Anjali and Mami.
Khushi smiled brightly forgetting for a moment how scared she was. Joining the ladies on the couch she asked in her usual self, "Kyu Naniji aisa kya hua?". She then took a piece of sweet infront of her and was about to eat when Anjali said, "Chotte Lavanyaji se shaadi karne ko taiyar ho gaye!!"
Suddenly the piece of sweet keep dangling from her fingers as she became numb and when Anjali lovingly pushed that piece of sweet in her mouth she knew she would never touch sweets ever in her whole life. Oh! How could he? How could he forget everything about them? About her? She needed to breathe, breathe...why there wasn't any air all of a sudden. Looking at everyone so happy around her she realised how oblivious everyone was to her feelings. She needed to see him, right now...to hell with secrets, to hell with everyone. She was done with being a good girlfriend, done with doing everything he wanted, everything he asked of her and today for the first time she was done living in hide. Without any word she just got up and went towards his room knowing for once no one will notice her absence. With every step she took her heart constricted. For the first time she realised when your heart breaks you can actually feel the broken pieces inside.
She stopped at his door to find him standing near the pool looking at an invisible object. How she could love a man like him, she wondered. She gave him everything she owned and this is how he repaid her. The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth, if only she could have hated him for all he had ever done to her but no she had to fall in love with a beast. Quietly closing the door behind her, she walked towards him.
She stood behind him and with a jerk pulled at his sleeve to turn him around. For the first time she was angry at him, in their relationship he was the one who could ask questions, control her while all she was allowed to do was abide him. But she did it all in the name of love, knowing how hard was it for him to express his true feelings but today he won't be able to excuse himself.
"Kyu?" She asked holding his sleeves, her anger turning into tears now.
"Kyu kiya aapne aisa?" She shook him hard but all he did was stare.
Leaving his sleeve, her hands snaked through his chest to grab his collar and she whispered anguishly, "Humare pyaar mein kya kami thi? Bataiye? Aapne Lavanyaji se shaadi ke liye haan kardi? Aap aisa soch bhi kaise sakte hai?"
Arnav touch her hands on his collar but she pulled away. He again tried holding her hand but she took a step back and nodded her head negatively.
"Mujhe haan karna pada, Nani aur Di ki khushi ke liye mujhe haan karni padi", he said grabbing his hair in frustration.
Khushi smiled bitterly, "Aur humare pyaar ka kya? Aapne apne gharwalo ke liye kisi aur se shaadi ke liye haan kardi par uska kya jab aapke pyaar ke liye humne apne amma babuji ko dukh diya, humne toh nahi haan ki Karan se shaadi ke liye jabki aapko malum hai humpe kitna zor tha!"
Arnav tightened his fist in anger and said, "I won't ever love Lavanya, we'll still be together after my marriage with her."
Khushi's eyes widened as she realised what he was suggesting and she clutched her fist near her bosom, "Aap soch bhi kaise sakte hai yeh? Aapse pyaar karte hai hum, bahut zyada aur hum aapko iss pyaar ka tamasha nahi banane denge. Nahi bata sakte apne gharwalo se humare baarein toh mat bataiye par agar aapko lagta hai hum aapki shaadi ke baad aapse koi rishta rakhenge toh yeh aapki galat fehmi hai...hum kahin door chale jayenge, marr jayenge par apne pyaar ko aise zaleel nahi karenge."
Suddenly angry with everyone for deciding his fate for him but him, he roughly grabbed her shoulder and pulled her towards him. With their body plastered against each other, their breath mingling he asked in a tone which she knew meant danger, "Aur main tumse pyaar nahi karta?"
Looking deep into his eyes she whispered, "Agar pyaar karte toh aisa sochte bhi nahi, aapki shaadi ho jayegi aur humara kya?"
Arnav bent his head and sniffed her neck to smell her. He was drowning in her fragrance, she was his obsession, and life without her would be unimaginable. He was alive because she was with him. Khushi tried twisting to free herself ignoring her body's response but his hold on her shoulder turned more strong, licking a path down her neck he whispered, "I'll set-up a house for you, I could come and meet you...you don't have to worry about expenses, I'll take care of you."
His words were like cold water on her, she stopped struggling. This is what their relationship had come to? She let him play with her body and whispered, "As...as your kept woman."
He didn't look up and continued to lick the swells of her bosom visible in her anarkali suit and said huskily, "No as my wife."
"You can't have two wives Arnav, you have to choose who you want. I will never share you with anyone, either you are completely mine or you are not!" She said closing her eyes, ignoring the havoc he was creating inside her.
He bit her swells and whispered, "You will be the only one I want, I need...the only one I'll ever love."
Not responding she lay lifelessly in his arms, and controlled her tears, "And...and if I do the same? What if I get married to Karan? I want to get married but I don't want a husband who I can't call mine. Will you ask me to meet you after my marriage with him?"
He stilled, hearing his adversary's name he turned stone. Karan was one name he hated with a passion knowing how her parents doted on him and how his eyes twinkles everyone seeing Khushi, his Khushi. He lifted his head and with a slow and maddening smoothness, he cupped her face leaving her shoulders and whispered dangerously, "You are just mine, Khushi! Make no mistake...all your heart, body and soul will ever know is me!"
He hit his forehead with hers when she said, "Jab aapne humare baare mein nahi socha toh humse yeh umeed kyu karte hai? Humari bhi ichchayein hai, humare bhi gharwale sapne dekhte hai...sirf aapki tarah haesiyat nahi hai iska matlab yeh nahi ki humlog ke sapne nahi hote. Atleast Karan agar humse shaadi karna chahte hai toh unhone sabko bataya toh hai, aapki tarah nahi humein aur humare pyaar ko-"
He pressed his thumb against her lips and whispered, "Uske chahne se kya hota hai, tum humesha se meri thi aur meri hi rahogi. Tumhe main kisi Karan ka nahi hone doonga!"
She held his thumb and removed it from her lips, "Kaise rokenge humein? Fir se sakad pe tamasha karenge jo tab kiya tha jab Karan ne humse shaadi ke liye pehli baar kaha tha ya fir se unko unki jaan ki dhamki denge."
Arnav narrowed his eyes, "Ab uski zarurat hi nahi padegi, meri baat hi kafi hogi."
"Kya matlab?"
"Matlab ki Khushi, tab tum sirf dil se meri thi par ab tum jism se bhi meri ho...kya wo aisi ladki se shaadi karna chahega jo shaadi se pehli hi apna sab-kuch kisi aur ko de chuki hai?" Arnav muttered huskily slowly rubbing his thumb over her cheeks.
Tears streamed down her cheeks and suddenly she realised how destructive he could be!
"Aapko sharam nahi aayi yeh kehte huye, sochte huye bhi? Aur fir aadmi-aurat ke liye yeh alag-alag kyu? Agar hum aapke huye the toh aap bhi toh humare huye the ya fir wo humari galat-fehmi thi?" She asked trying to push his hands away from her face.
He tightened his hold and muttered, "I was your first and I will be your last Khushi, tum mera pyaar ho, junoon ho aur tumhe main kisi aur ka hote kabhi nahi dekh sakta."
"Aur hum dekh sakte hai? Kyu ek baar gharwalo se keh ke nahi dekhte humare baarein, kyun? Kyun aapka pyaar humein sirf band kamre ke andar naseeb hota hai? Hum bhi chahte the ki hum dusro ki tarah hath mein hath daal ghume, wo choti-choti cheezein karein jo har pyaar karne wala karta hai par humein kya mila? A trip to a hotel, a trip to your friend's flat? You knew my upbringing, my beliefs but I gave up everything, and now you are blackmailing me that you will tell I was in a physical relationship with you if I try getting married. What do you want from me?" She cried.
"You", just one word, one word was all he said and suddenly all hell broke loose. She looked at him and with heavy tears pouring down from her eyes, she took his hands from her cheeks and kept it on her waist, "You want me? I have started thinking that's all I ever was to you, a body! Go ahead, do whatever you want with me...I won't stop you but remember after today you have no claim on me or my love. Do whatever you want, tell whatever you want."
Arnav looked at her and squeezed her waist in anger, "Har koi meri zindagi kyu tay kar raha hai? Aur tumhe lagta hai main tumhare shareer ke liye tumhare sath hoon? Agar jazbaat na shamil ho toh andhere mein har ladki ek jaisi hi hoti hai, haan tumhara shaheer main hasil karna chahta hoon par meri bhook mere pyaar se badi nahi hai, samjhi tum!"
"Kaisa yeh pyar hai? Aap humein dard dene ko taiyar hai, humare charitra ke chitade udhane ko taiyaar hai...aur-" Saying this she suddenly pushed him away and went towards bathroom. She bent on her knees and suddenly threw all her contents inside. Arnav stood at the door and watched as she stood up and splashed water on her face and then looked up at him through the mirror. And suddenly he realised the reason for her recent glow and mood-swings. Seeing his sister going through all these in her pregnancy was enough to make him realise what was happening.
"You are pregnant!" he whispered and her eyes flew open in shock and that confirmed his suspicion.
Without breaking eye-contact he walked towards her and standing behind her asked, "kabse?"
She turned off the tap and walking past him said, "Kya farak padta hai?"
He without turning held her arms and said, "Khushi ek baar aur pooch raha hoon kab pata chala?"
She twisted her arm looking ahead in distance and said, "Aur hum bhi ek baar aur keh rahe hai kya farak padta hai?"
Suddenly he pulled her towards and she went flying towards him, hitting his chest.
"Yeh mera bachcha bhi hai" he said breathing down at her.
Fiercely protective of the new life inside her and angry at the man who created this miracle with her, she lashed, "Kyu? Aap kaise bharosa kar sakte hai uss ladki pe jisne shaadi se pehli apna sab kuch de diya ho...jab hum aapke sath so sakte hoon toh kisi-" she swallowed her tears and his rough hands bit into her soft skin and he whispered, "Don't...Don't you dare Khushi! Don't!"
"Yeh bachcha sirf humara hai, jo humse pyaar na nibha paya wo isse nanhi si jaan se kya pyaar karega. Ab hum jo bhi karein wo humara hi faisla hoga?" She bit out harshly.
Her tone must have gone out to him because he asked very cautiously, "Faisla? Kya karne ki soch rahi ho tum Khushi?" He shook her hard and said, "Answer me dammit!! I swear Khushi, I'll kill you with my bare hands if you even dare to harm my child."
His grip slackened and suddenly she freed herself, " Humare pyaar ko toh maar hi diya humein maar bhi denge toh bhi ab dard nahi hoga, jo karna hai karlijiye! Aapne apna faisla le liya hai aur uss faisle mein hum aur humara bachcha nahi hai...aap apni zindagi mein khush rahiye aur hume-" she looked at him with her eyes conveying the tale of her broken heart and shaking her head helplessly she ran out of his room. He had never felt so helpless, so alone.
Kyu dard hai itna tere ishq mein,
Rabba ve rabba ve rabba ve rabba ve...
Part2- page9
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