What's worse - foeticide or unfair treatment?

U-No-Poo thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1
So I decided to open this topic because the menace of female foeticide got me thinking. All of us here vehemently condemn this heinous crime, which we absolutely should. But speaking hypothetically, if the unlawful practice of using ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby is completely curbed, and the family only gets to know about the sex of the baby once it is born, do you think the parents/family of the newborn girl child, who they did not want, will treat her right?

Do you think they will give her the love and care that she deserves? Will they provide her the facilities/amenities and resources so that she becomes a respectful, independent citizen of this country when she grows up? Will they provide her parental guidance, protection, support and respect?

Stopping female foeticide is not enough. It needs to be eliminated from the minds of the people too. They need to understand that having a girl child is something to be proud of. If the girl is born, but is not treated right, is never considered a part of the family, is always reminded of how inferior she is, is resented by her parents who think she's a liability (a bhoj), - won't she want to escape such a life herself?

How will a girl like that ever feel confident enough to stand on her on two feet, not just financially, but mentally and emotionally too? What do you think?

Edited by heroin. - 13 years ago

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queenie thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2
Have you not heard of how new born baby girls are drowned esp in villages. So humanity has found other ways. Everyone turns a blind eye.

Unless and until society changes their attitude towards girls, it will continue to happen.

And I dont think this happens only in India. Other countries too esp in South Asia too have similar issues.


bsingapury thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3
The point you have raised is very valid and actually all this problem is inter related
like one problem why this foeticide is practiced in few areas more than other
if you look at big picture you will see this practice is more commonaly used in community where dowry is main reason , the father sees daughter as liability rather than asset.
in India girls father has always secondary place and many cases we will see where women have been killed because of dowry
the thing frustrate me is in high society and educated family actually priced their boys...and boys also take pride when they are taged high priced...
if this problem has been corrected for some level i think this foeticide problem could be corrected on basic level...
If only parents give good education, support and care to their daughter their many problem could be saved...
Edited by bsingapury - 13 years ago
642126 thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#4
I think we need to raise status of women in general. There are ways through which people torture girls after they are born and somehow ensure that they die. This includes not getting her treated if she falls sick or mixing some harmful substances in her milk/food to ensure she gets weak or dies or just lifelong discrimination and taunting!

Related stuff like dowry, obsession with skin colour or proportion of body parts (which is more pervasive for females than males), crimes against females ( bride-burning, domestic violence, rape, eve-teasing, molestation, abuse of even their pics and videos etc.) - has to be uprooted! People constantly fear for security of the girl even after they marry her off! They are never sure how the family would treat her!

I also think people need to control their boys a bit. Teach them manners, teach them how to behave properly and respect women, set some curfew for them too! Parents keep control on girls but even pay bribes to get their boys out of jail or remain clueless even if boy doesn't return to his house till 4 AM! Everyone is like ''ladkon ka toh chalta hai'' or boys will be boys. This unbridled freedom is what makes men think they can do anything, use and abuse women any way and get away with it! And this sets off a chain reaction, due to which parents also feel it's more stress free to be parents to a male than a female.

I have seen parents telling boys to kick out their wives (even if it's for slight reasons like not being able to cook, dowry is another matter) and that they'll get him a new and better girl! As if a girl is a commodity - if not satisfied with one, you can go and get another!

This mentality has to go. Or else no use of stopping female foeticide or even infanticide.
hey.bhaggu thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5
That is true and I think feticide is not the only problem. I think all the issues are so inter-related that we can't even imagine how far it could go.

While watching this show, especially the clip on female doctors who perform feticide, I was wondering about the psychology of these doctors and how abortion could be connected to the reason that they might give. And so I googled up if abortion was legal in India or not (as I wasn't really sure), and found that it is illegal, however there are exceptions like mental health, under-age pregnancy, sexual harassment, etc. And I was wondering how this can be completely related to corruption (ofcourse even feticide is because it's the matter of money). Because people can get fake documents from other doctors about mental health if they have money and learn that the child is female, and get gynecs to abort the baby, legally.

And you are right, it is just not going to help to remove the feticide from India, but this entire mentality of men being more powerful than women. The bottom line is for people to learn to respect girls/women and not treat them as garbage.

And like annika20 said, it's so common these days, the discrimination between girls and boys. How boys are allowed to go out at night while girls aren't. I am sure some parents don't even think about discriminating but just to protect their girls but why is it that it is not safe for us to go out at night? Why is it that people find it difficult to respect women and her dignity? I think this mentality itself needs to change and so does this discrimination.
Edited by hey.bhaggu - 13 years ago
642126 thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#6
That is the point! Society even justifies ill treatment to women by blaming them only. She got raped because she was ''not wearing a dupatta'', she got teased because she was walking in a particular way or trying to attract the boy herself, no wonder her husband left her because she looked drab and was too busy in housework - not paying attention to his ''needs'', blame her for bringing misfortune in case her birth or marriage coincides with a loss in your work or personal life - it goes on!

Whenever there are cases of domestic violence, the parents lament on how difficult or unfortunate it is to be parents of a girl or blame it on the girl's own misfortune rather than blaming the perpetrators of violence - boy and in-laws!

How can we say female foeticide should be stopped to solve all problems?

U-No-Poo thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: queenie

Have you not heard of how new born baby girls are drowned esp in villages. So humanity has found other ways. Everyone turns a blind eye.

Unless and until society changes their attitude towards girls, it will continue to happen.

And I dont think this happens only in India. Other countries too esp in South Asia too have similar issues.



Exactly, people will find other ways to kill the girl. Is physical murder the worst crime? What about mental and emotional murder, every single day? Besides, like you said, even if the girl is born, the parents might just drown her or throw her in a garbage can.

@Bold: Word.
U-No-Poo thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: bsingapury

The point you have raised is very valid and actually all this problem is inter related

like one problem why this foeticide is practiced in few areas more than other
if you look at big picture you will see this practice is more commonaly used in community where dowry is main reason , the father sees daughter as liability rather than asset.
in India girls father has always secondary place and many cases we will see where women have been killed because of dowry
the thing frustrate me is in high society and educated family actually priced their boys...and boys also take pride when they are taged high priced...
if this problem has been corrected for some level i think this foeticide problem could be corrected on basic level...
If only parents give good education, support and care to their daughter their many problem could be saved...


See, it's a chain of problems. Not just one problem, and they're all interconnected. You cannot do away with the entire problem by simply destroying one link of the chain. It will still persist and like one member has already said, people will find other ways and means.

So like you said, it's the mentality that needs to be changed. People need to start valuing girls just as much as boys. Only then can anything in our society change. Unfortunately, there is no legal punishment for discrimination.
undisclosed thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9

i think that was the whole point of the episode...to start from the inside out...change peoples minds so that then they can change their actions...

FollowYourHeart thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#10
Damn well said...all of u...damn well said...👏

and this is exactly what even Aamir was telling towards the end of the show...how everything is related and everything spills over into each other...one problem is not just a cause but effect too...and everything gets entangled and we end up just being trapped in our own self created vicious circles...I think the most MOST utmost important thing which needs to be done is not stopping foeticide or corruption or dowry or violence or this that blah blah...no the first and foremost thing which needs to be done is to freaking raise the self respect and esteem of women themselves...to freaking make them believe that they have an identity of their own and they have the freaking right to make decissions about their lives they have the freaking right to dream beyond just getting married and having a husband and a home and children...most women are born and brought up with this notion that its their freaking religion their freaking "dharam" duty obligation to serve the men to believe that these men are their masters and their meaning of existence lies in being their slaves...that this is what God had made them for...for being beaten tortured by their men and yet for serving them loving them worshiping them...WE NEED TO FREAKING CHANGE THIS PATHETIC MENTALITY...coz until and unless this happens women would continue to endure all ALL sorts of torture harassment in the name of religious duties as a women...women need to believe that they deserve better...but before that they need to accept that this is WRONG UNFAIR CRUEL...most women toh consider their husband's torture as freaking BLESSINGS...they actually feel accomplished by serving their husband's any damned selfish needs...and it is only these women who end up being thirsty for boy child...coz in their eyes being a boy means EVERYTHING...it means divinity purity piousness power...their lives fele justified once they have a boy child...and it is only these women who commit all sorts of atrocities against women...inspite of the fact that they themselves r women...but they don't see this fact...they don't see themselves as human beings...they see themselves as their husband's shoe sole...and hence they can't let any woman to consider herself different from this...so ya no matter what we do...no matter how many laws we pass courts we make...nothing can happen if these woman's mindset isn't changed...once every freaking woman pledges to NOT be the victims to not give the damned right to ANY DAMNED ONE to exploit them...all of this...everything would come to an end... but the starting point needs to be making these women themselves BELIEVE that they are not paon ki jootis that they deserve MUCH FREAKING BETTER!

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