The railway siren honked around her, as crowds of people stumbled past her, one on the other, pushing their way out, to get on the train before the other. Someone from the restless herd of people trod on her foot hard, but instead of giving him a brief lashing as she would have earlier, she just smiled back a painful smile at him, as he presented his apologizes to her.
Him gone, she was left alone once again sitting on the fainted green bench, parts of it already rusted, one of the wooden logs supporting the bench to support the back of the people who sat there, hanging out loose, threatening to come out any moment if she applied anymore pressure than she was already exerting on it to rest her tired back. Her dainty little fingers, having had lost their color, traced the words in hindi in her fondest pocession, her small brown diary, as tears furiously cascaded down her cheeks, absorbing in the already crumbled pages of the diary, smudging the neat handwriting written on it.
Seeing the effect her tears had on her vulnerable diary, she hurriedly wiped off her tears, and flipped the page, opening up to one which brought upon an entirely new chapter of life in front of her. '100 ways, to tease Laad Governor', she smiled faintly in between half hearted chokes, and a River Nile of tears that refused to stop flowing from her swollen eyes.
She circled her fingers around the date, one week from the date she had got married to him. To Him. She sighed. It had been such a long time to back then, six months seemed to have gone by in the blink of an eye. It was difficult, she had already intercepted that, but this difficult, she had never imagined. He had left a water mark on her, of himself, she carried part of him everywhere, wherever she went, however she tried to run from it, unknowingly he had seeped into her in some inseparable way now. Nothing, could filter him out of her life anymore, some part of her, that she was destined to have gain and then lost.
Shutting her eyes tightly, she shaking her head to remove the face of his in front of her eyes, but all she saw him was everywhere. Sometimes, smiling that lop sided smile of his, sometimes glaring at her, sometimes smirking at her, sometimes staring at her with those molten brown eyes of his. Bringing her hand forward, she tried to hold his illusionary hand and another rush of saline water made their way down her eyes, as all she discovered to had caught was, fleeting cold winter breeze, that went away sooner than she had closed her fist tightly to capture it. Flipping another page, as she silently read her own one liner techniques that brought several memories back to her in every letter she spelt vocally.
From changing his wardrobe to a totally irritating one, from teasing him by singing her own fabricated song, bringing him to her house, having him stay in a middle class mohala, he had taken it all. They had found their little moments of love in them; at least she thought it was love that she saw emitting from those eyes, which bore into hers, like no other pair ever had. It was so painful, it ached so much, and she clutched her hollow chest, realizing that she had lost him forever. As much as she wished she could deny, a part of her had already surrendered itself to his wishes, to his needs, to his wants, everything, wanting nothing in return.
It was as if, leaving something behind in this path of life, that really was supposed to be with her. She was willing to forget everything, the joke he had made out of the sacred institution of marriage, the way he had been a beast to her these entire six months, the way he had threatened her about something, repeatedly told her that she had given him deeper wounds than he had to her, something till date she loathed over. It was over. There was no use pondering over it now, before he would openly tell her that it was her last day with him she had walked out of the house quietly on her own, as all of the Raizada family, attended to Anjali and her beautiful baby girl in the hospital. To her best of judgment, it was best that she walked away without letting anyone know of it, vanish from the face of Earth as if she never even existed. Him telling her to exit from his life, would be more venomous, more painful to hear, it was torture that her defenses could no more bear, it was traumatic, to have him smirk at her as he would point towards that red circle he had drawn around today's day on his calender, marking the end of her stay with him.
She wept slowly to herself, as she closed the diary and opened the zip of her back, to tuck in. Keeping it in without a thought, she let out a small 'Ouch' as she quickly pushed out her fingers out of the bag, the three larger ones, deeply bruised, pure red blood pouring out of it profoundly. Sinking her unhurt hand back into the bag, she took out the cause of her injury, as another stream of wet tears went down her cheeks, the picture of whom had caused the wound, causing her lost deep in thought. It was him, his picture, the mirror framing it cracked, due to her ragged handling of the bag. Pulling it out of her bag, she gave it one last soulful book, and hugged it tight close to her heart, crying away like a baby who had just broken his most loved toy.
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He walked up the stairs, with heavy footsteps, preparing himself for the verbal lashing he would give her, for disappearing from the hospital when his sister needed her the most there. Making an annoyed face, he took steps towards his room, expecting to hear the sweet tinkling sound of the wind shield, she had hung on the entrance. As he flew open the door, he walked in and looked back inside the room with a blank expression on the soundless welcome. He turned back towards the entrance, and looked up to find the windshield gone.
Weird. He thought to himself, where did she get the brains to remove that from? Nevertheless happy at her smart move, he smiled one of his faint smiles, and walked back inside the room, moving his eyes around to look for her, but instead as never before a unknown uneasy feeling crept inside him. There was something different about this room today; it wasn't the same as it had been for the last six months. And then he realized upon better scrutinization, that her awkward, silly Salman Khan poster was no more there, clinging on the wall in an inhumanly manner, just remains of it being there could be seen, parts of the paints ripped away as the poster was pulled apart. Turning his eyes away from there, he looked at his bed, which looked as incomplete as ever. No more were there those stars hanging around it, the bed sheet had been changed too, and restored to what it had been before she had entered his room.
Horrified at the sudden changed he was greeted too, he walked over frantically towards the wardrobe, beads of perspiration forming on his forehead, as he forced open the cupboards, only to find a terrifying sight meeting his eyes. The white painted plank of his cupboard, was the only thing there, none of her colorful clothes hung there, just his black and white Armani suits. Moving his eyes downwards towards the shoe rack, he let out a scared gasped, having found that all her sandals, those glittering ones, and the normal ones, all gone. His heart pumping non uniformly, he slammed open the washroom door, and saw behind to see, if her clothes, or her towel was hanging behind. Nothing.
Walking out in a fury, about to punch in her number, he took out his phone, only that it beeped before he could press the speed dial to it. Involuntarily he opened the 'Reminder' flashing on the screen, as he looked in utmost horror at the notification that ithad to give him. Only seconds later he looked upwards towards the ceiling, and closed his eyes in desperation only to open them to a sight, of his calendar, the red circle he had marked flashing away brightly, blinding him. Taking quick steps he walked towards it, and circled his hand around it, falling on the floor, as realization took over him fast.
She was gone. Forever.
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P.S: How was it people? I know not really good, but just felt like jotting down somethign so came up with it. After Tuesday's epi, really Khushi's grief and sorrow had be thinking so deep, I was wondering what would happen when it was all closing towards the end, and so came up with this little piece of nonsense.
I do have a little of the story planned in my head, so probably if you people want me to continue with it, do let me know.
Hope its worth the read, and not really a waste of precious time.
Love,
Batoolđł
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Debate Mansion
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