WELL: The dinner was less eventful compared to the last few days.
Arnav clad in a baby blue crisp cotton shirt and a washed out pair of dark jeans, hair in a back brush with a day old beard. A contend smile on his face and a mischievous smile in his eyes devouring the mystical creature in red, in the opposite.
Khushi clad in a bright red chiffon saree with red sequin borders, drop ear rings and red churis. Laughing, giggling and winking at the two girls in the opposite table.
Mention worthy events during dinner:
1. Arnav broke only 1 glass during dinner. It was not out of anger, jealousy or frustration. It was because Khushi spilled coke allover and his hands slipped trying to stop it.
2. Arnav threatened five men, eleven teen aged boys and three pretty old senior citizens, only because they were giving multiple glances at his table, to the person munching down slices of pizza one after other''. ( the threats were given mentally, nothing verbal)
3. Oh yes, 2 little Aussie girls were also threatened as they pulled Khushi's pallu pretty hard to see how long the saree actually is and she willingly let them play around.
4. Khushi drank five full glass of coke, and three full glass of sprite and was holding a new glass of sprite in hand for next session. She just came to know that coke, sprite and other soft drinks are free and complimentary to each meal. And refills are also free and welcome.
5. The waiter almost flipped out, when Khushi licked her five fingers in front of the people in the five star pizza joint and was smiling the entire time while licking each .
6. Arnav missed some more heart beats, looking at the red diva clad in pizza sauce and cheese.
7. Khushi missed a single huge HEART beat and a few breaths when accidentally Arnav called her "JAAN" and wiped off her sauce from her lips: in front of everyone.
(Back in the pent house )
Arnav
"Khushi! Your stuff seems to be all settled and placed. Go and change.
Has been a pretty long day:
You need to rest."
(He lets her hand go and slowly guides her to her room.)
( there is no Mrs Gomez lurking around. Khushi reluctantly proceeds )
"Ok Arnav Ji! Good night. Umm..let me know if you need water or something'"
Khushi nods her head and gets in the bedroom.
(11.30 at night.)
She is happy that after a long long time, she can breathe with ease and without her heart ripping apart with doubt, frustration and confusion.
She changes into her night suit which she brought specially for this trip, just in case she finds him and can spend another night with him.
It's a soft silk pink full length one piece. V neck with tiny frills and three quarter sleeves. (Presented by Anjali, but never worn by khushi. )
(12.00)
Looking at the mirror:
She smiles at herself:
" Khushi Kumari Gupta: you should be happy that he found you and you found him and at least you know for sure that he has great amount of feelings for you .
But since you are in a separate bedroom, nothing going to happen''bad girl !!! ha ha'gutterrr mind !!!
Your intentions are not good'lol'..but why does he have to look so darn tempting in that baby blue shirt?
And I know he intentionally kept the first 3 buttons open so that I can peek at his muscles'.ummm ..his smile'.how cute !!
Oh'now I am sweating again."
She winks at the mirror and then smiles.
The morning's scenes, his smell, his kiss, car ride, breath on her'..she reminisces and become a bit more pink in the cheeks.
Off to bed she goes:
( 12.20 midnight.)
Tossing and turning:
The uncanny feelings that Khushi was so desperately trying to forget for tonight, hunts their way in.
She starts to drown in her own thoughts and points that comes to her mind :
1.
She starts to wrap her mind around Mt Mehta and about Arnav calling her as "Miss Gupta".
May be Mr Mehta knows about me signing the divorce papers. And maybe he wanted talk to me about that. Or he might ask me to stay alert or maybe some health issue as Arnav JI had an accident.
What else can it be?
As far as I know, he slipped and fell on glass, so his arm got the big cut.
It was nothing else. Hmm'I wonder if there is anything else or not.
Hope it's nothing serious !
2.
Oh yes, I will also have to talk to Anjali and nani ji. They must be very irritated and worried. I need to say sorry and apologize for not telling them about me coming here.
But how can I call them? Arnav Ji told me not to contact them.
Umm''''..but it was before he knew about me and what happened in the past. But now as the entire confusion got cleared then?
But did the confusion clear up ?
NO..it did not.
I will have to talk to him as soon as I can. Today was too much happening.
My head hurts, where did I keep the pain killer?
(12.45 midnight)
( While taking the medicine, Khushi seems Arnav still awake, his footsteps lurking around just right out of her room.
She can see the shadows move from behind the closed door.
BUT AS A GOOD GIRL:
She goes to lie down again)
3.
Yes, he wanted to talk but I WAS THE ONE TO STOP HIM.
UFFF!! I do have a big mouth. If I let him talk, then most confusion would have been cleared.
BUT ANYWAYS
I have tomorrow, then day after is my flight.
I will ask him all question I can to clear the doubts.
I need to ask him about how much he knows, how much he actually believed and how much confusion he still has.
HMM'WHERE IS MY PASSPORT AND TICKET?
GOD!! HOW COULD I NOT CHECK?
Well its his fault again.
If he hadn't carry me in his lap all the way, from the motel and if he hadn't done those stuff in the car, I surely would have remembered.
Ufff..Khushi!! What will happen to you?
Why do you become such an idiot when he is nearby?
BUT
Oh God ! how will I explain it all in one day?
Also will he let me leave? My ticket is fixed and I have to go.
I know I came in my own will. I had to come.
Because I wanted to tell him that I LOVE HIM without any hesitation and without any prior preconceived notion about me.
I AM WHAT I AM: " AND I LOVE HIM."
I do not care what he thinks of me and what he does not.
I HAVE TO CLEAR IT ALL OUT
4.
About that A** H****, swine, Su*** ki** b*****.
Kutta
Kamiina
Pervert snake !!
Ufff'I hate him'
but still I WILL HAVE TO ASK ARNAV JI ABOUT THAT "MAN".
I have to clear that he bluffed my entire family and me and planned everything.
How he deceived me. I will tell him all in details since the day he saw me. So there is no hidden facts left.
And also tell: how Shyam deceived Anjali Ji.
I have to keep calm and tell him everything.
.
( KHUSHI suddenly stops and comes to her senses.
The longing, the need and the sorrow starts to pour in once at a time.
She reminds herself of what happened just couple of days back. The torments the agony and the massive steps she had to take in desperation, all come back to her:
: Pouring her soul with enormous sadness and a little bit of remorse.)
I WILL LEAVE.
I CANNOT STAY KNOWING THAT HE SIGNED THE PAPERS. AND SO DID I.
WE ACTUALLY DO NOT HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP'..
Oh!!!! God !!
I WILL LEAVE, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENES.
IF HE LOVES ME ENOUGH, HE WILL MAKE AN EFFORT
AND IF HE REALLY CARES THEN HE WILL COME BACK TO INDIA AND WIN ME BACK.
5.
Yes I let him kiss me, take care of me, do whatever he feels like, today. But that does not wipe out the facts that took place.
I forgave him completely for whatever wrong he did, whatever misunderstanding we had.
His eyes explained it all.
His touch solved the confusions.
But that doesn't change the TRUTH that he let me go and left me ALONE.
THE WAY HE IS REACTING, ITS OBVIOUS THAT HE HAS FEELINGS FOR ME
HE CARES to a great deal.
BUT he himself needs to realize what I MEAN TO HIM
HOW MUCH HE IS WILLING TO DO FOR ME.
HE NEEDS TO BE CERTAIN.
6.
ALSO Anjali ji is involved.
I cannot stay in the same place where she and her so called husband are present.
NEVER.
EVER
NO'.NO''.NO I CANT.
I know ARNAV JI will not choose between me and Anjali ji..
She is his world and she means everything to him.
And she should BE
She is an amazing woman.
He married me because he had feelings for me, to protect me from Shyam. I believe that.
But he also married me to save his sister. He threw away his love for his sister.
He did not even consider asking me out before he believed Shyam.
I wonder which even triggered him to take such a big step.
WHY DID HE REACT THE WAY HE DID, DURING JIJI'S WEDDING?
NE DID NOT SAY'ANYTHING.
He always said I betrayed him
I was going to ruin a person's life
And I know the person was Anjali ji.
But if Shyam stays in her life, and she stays in Arnavji's, where will I be?
This equation will never add up.
7.
Also: WHO AM I TO HIM?
WHAT IS MY POSITION? JUST SOMEONE HE ONCE HAD FEELINGS FOR?
HIS EX-WIFE?
HIS GIRL FRIEND'?
" AM I ONLY HIS MISTAKE?"
"AND IS HE BEING NICE ONLY TO REPENT HIS MISTAKE?"
Uff my head, its killing me. I just cannot stress anymore.
I wish JIJI was with me. So I could hold her close and weep my heart out.
Oh well who am I kidding? I know , what my heart is wishing for right now:
ITS NOT JIJI'..ITS THE MAN OUTSIDE MY DOOR.
Wish he was by my side, at least last few months he was in the same room.
But this distance is killing me. Why did he keep me away from him?
I couldn't master the courage to ask. Cause I think he doesn't want me close. AM I THAT BAD?
Ufff my head is killing me!!!'..God please make the head ache stop !!
Getting me this separate room, he proved that he wants to stay away and we are no longer husband and wife.
I signed the papers because he wanted me to.
I wanted to as well.
I did not want to stay back and beg for mercy. Why should I?
I have not done any wrong?
I will always be his and love him for eternity.
Believe him and respect him as my husband, deep in my soul.
But I could not lower myself any more, to be a "so called wife" just because he made a contract and forced me into this.
I needed to get out, just to prove to him that I care about what he wants.
He wanted me out, so I came out of his life.
I am not sure if I took the right step or wrong.
But that's what HE WANTED. AND I COMPLETED WHAT HE STARTED."
( Khushi sobs a bit more and depression takes over.
She tries to rest but fails.)
She whispers:
"Tomorrow will tell.
Tomorrow will be I guess: the most important day for me, for revealing the facts."
She turns her head around and takes another peek at the door.
The lights are still on the shadow is still pacing outside her door.
She looks at the clock
( 1.55 am )
She tries her best to keep herself posted in the bed and tries to relax.
Her body is screaming out of its shell to run to the door and pull him in her arms.
But she stays put.
Slowly after another half an hour she drifts into somewhat of a sleep.
98