i walk endlessly down the shore, the sea mocking my conscience. I hear the waves whispering its verdict that I am wrong, further crushing the guilt embedded in my soul. I cannot cry no more for the sorrow I feel is too profound, too deep. I look up and see the scattered clouds partially dim the littered stars, tormenting the knowledge that I could never have again the love that I had and lost. I see the crescent moon staring down at me with pity, reminding of the warm and gentle smile on the face I know I could not find in anyone anymore. I turn my face away from that harsh reality, only to be greeted by a cold breeze that seemed like a blow to my already bruised self. Shivering, I pull my jacket tighter around me, forming a barricade that would keep me from the numbing agony creeping through my entire being. In the battle between the conscience and the heart, I fear that it was I who gave the victory over to conscience. And now I must bear the guilt brought by my actions. I have come to accept that destiny for I know that it is what I deserve for hurting the one being that matters to me most.
Hollow. Yes, this is what I am and what I will be for the rest of my life. For I am void of the love that was in the palm of my hands and now gone, because I let it slip from my fingers.
I continue my pace and with every step, I feel the sand sink beneath my feet, filling the spaces between my toes. I know I leave my footprints behind, only to be washed away by the sea. I hear footsteps muffled by the shingles, slowly coming towards me. Stop. Even though I could not see her, I know she is there. Her very presence emits an aura that reaches me and touches the fathomless cave within me, igniting warmth throughout this body. My steps faltered to a stop. I slowly raise my eyes to focus on the figure standing a few yards away from me. My breath caught, I tried to swallow the lump in my throat but it felt like it was paralyzed. My pulse quickened its pace against my will. The shoes dangling from my hands slowly slipped their way down to land beside my feet.her beauty astonishes me. And just looking at her only added to the throbbing pain inside me, the agony of losing the exquisite creature that was once mine.
My eyes cannot meet her face for I already know what I will find there-hatred, scorn, and disgust. And I am filled with shame. I stand there, my gaze riveted to the ground, not daring to look up for if I do, if I see into her eyes, it would shatter me to pieces.
I take in shattered breaths, gathering all the strength I need, uttering a silent prayer to God. I level my gaze to her and her eyes find mine and for a moment, time seemed to stop. There were no words, no actions, only the existence of two minds, two hearts.
I cannot find disdain or contempt on her beautiful face but only questions . . .and hope. I search deep into her eyes and what I find there completely seizes my heart and batters my soul. All my restraint broke and my knees gave way. I collapse into a heap on my knees on the cool glittering sand, her gaze never leaving mine. I break down, helpless tears streaming down my cheeks. I bury my face in my hands, the jacket forgotten as I unconsciously loosen my grip and let it out of my hands, granting it the freedom as it flew with the wind.
A wrenched cry of tormented anguish tears from my chest as the realization strikes me. Her eyes tell me that she is floundering in a depth of misery that exceeded even my own. My hands itch to touch her face, to soothe her into a dull peace for both of us. To tell her that that i love her and cannot live without her .those days without her were like hell. I need to know . . . please just tell me, she silently begs.tell me u love me
Itti Si Khushi Sab TV
