Ocean of Redemption.
In his normal world, he would have never noticed, but this wasn't the usual for him ... it was all new. Not really sure how it all caught his attention but instantly the music lured him and he walked out the car, curiously approaching the narrow alley...he felt like he was walking into a tunnel and there was light; bright and beautiful emanating from its other end. He involuntarily walked towards that endearing bubble of joy drawn to it like a dying man who had chanced upon the elixir of life. Gone was the foreboding apprehension that had become his constant companion for the longest time. There was a group of people dancing happily to the music that seemed to flow through them connecting them in a strange bliss, so much that even he, the cold hearted beast could feel it tugging some unknown strings in his frozen heart; surely he wasn't the stonehearted beast people perceived him to be! They were wrong, an unfamiliar voice reverberated in him, no one knew, how this music had penetrated his icy exterior and permeated into the depths of his existence, making his soul flutter in its warmth ...like the first rays of the morning sun after the darkest winter of many months. There was light. He knew at that instant that he was not the devil but fate was the cruel ... all mocking cynic that played with people's lives like they were entitled to it. He had been a victim of circumstance, he reasoned.
His eyes fixated to this bubble of warmth that was strongly calling out to him, as if a bright, sparkly source of joy was sending out waves upon waves of that which was slowly drawing him towards it, infusing him into its realm and seeping through to the tiniest heartbeat infusing life in this chunk of unfeeling stone he had come to become. And that's when like the brightest star, she came back twinkling into his life ... bringing along all that light. He was halted in his steps by the sight of her, dancing in that joyous space that were guarding her, keeping her cocooned from monsters of the world. He stood alone and watching her move rhythmically to the music, grooving to the beats, her body swaying carefree, that gay abandon had returned as had the genuine spring in her steps, he saw real happiness behind those smiles; life was oozing - glistening like precious pearls in those eyes. He stood entranced, entrapped by the sight in front of him wanting to join that circle, and be part of that happiness; instead he stood still like an outsider fearful of warding off that very source of happiness which had brought him back to life.
From swimming in an ocean under the blue skies, like a nimble fish ... he went stiff like a corpse. He felt caught by a deathlike grip that he was unable to shrug off; inducing a panic stricken scramble in his mind and yet he kept sinking into that mesh of an invisible web that he was striving to get out of. He felt himself sink deeper and deeper into the depths of that very ocean till he could drown no more. And when he felt like the worst was over, he saw her; at the bottom of that ocean, on the sea bed, a forlorn child, in tears ...her tear stained face and a gut wrenching pain threatened to spill over from those eyes ... unleashing a wrath of a million whips in his heart ... tiny arrows piercing every finite pore till they bled raw. There was possibly no more pain to feel. He deserved it. He was the devil who had cursed his own fate.
Her steps were slow and deliberate, as if she still harbored hope that he would, walk up ...halt her and sweep her in his arms, one last time ... for the first time and tell her this was all a bad dream. Slowly the fiery red of her clothes blurred into the haziness of his own pain ... meshed into an unrecognizable ball of indifference. He hated how she had turned back, and their eyes had met one last time. He had been un-nerved by the look in her eyes, they weren't hers anymore, gone was the spark, as if the life in them had been sucked dry by an evil monster that he had become. He had killed her, just as he had ceased to be. That's when; she had shut the door on him, his home ... which had never become hers. He felt himself sucked back into this black box that he had guarded zealously making sure she had been shut out. Once inside, he locked himself in for that one last time within its confines, perched on his stone cold, hard, lifeless granite throne, he sat like a man possessed, stripped of every emotion that made him real. He recalled how every day, she had chipped off small fragments in a desperate attempt to enter his hell hold, but he had ruthlessly thwarted all her attempts. Giving up was inevitable. She was only human, and he had made sure she had been completely broken by the end of it. And yet, this wasn't how he had imagined this battle to end, he had never bargained for his own heart-ache, that searing pain that had ricochet through his heart rendering him lifeless. He had mercilessly snatched her heart, and trampled over it every single day, till it ceased to bleed. Her innocence had freed her but forever imprisoned him in hell, and that was where, he had to live everyday listening to the incomplete musings of his own heart. He fell deeper and deeper into an abyss, floating into nothingness; oddly there was no more pain because he was cocooned by pain.
But that wasn't the end, for when he opened his eyes, he felt his heart stop, because it was her; those eyes were looking at him beckoning him to come back. And he noticed, she had brought with her, all those people, who had been dancing with her. The bubble of joy had come to him instead!
Shiv Shakti
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