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I sat in the rehearsal hall, looking at my watch for the umpteenth time. He was late. Didn't the boy have any sense of timing?
I was lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to seeing him. The tiniest bit. It had been so long since I had spoken to him properly. And something about him made me
I was lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to seeing him. The tiniest bit. It had been so long since I had spoken to him properly. And something about him made me
forget that I was a diva or anyone else for that matter. I was just Sharon, just Sharon.
But yet, I hated him. Somewhere there, I know I couldn't get over the fact that he had made a fool of me, Miss. Independent. He had made me feel like a love-sick puppy. I didn't need a boyfriend, didn't need anyone. And he had made me crave it.
I didn't know what disappointed me more, the fact that it was Swayam Shekhawat who liked me or just that it was someone I had taught myself to hate.
But then, would I have been happy if it were some other man? Someone other than Swayam?
I sighed and looked at my watch again. This is why I should never be bored. It just made me think of him. The tiniest things about us, him. His big brown eyes and
that gorgeously floppy hair, that smile of his. Damn him.
Footsteps. Thud thud thud skweech. I could hear his converse as he ran down the hallway.
I stopped breathing. When he walked in. And then I cursed myself for feeling that way. That inexplicable power he had over me which I could never understand.
He sat down, at a distance from me and said, "Sorry."
Seriously? That's it!
"Sorry? That's all you got?! SORRY?! You had me waiting here for ten minutes and you're saying SORRY?! Screw you, Shekhawat!"
He looked at me, that gaze holding no emotions and he repeated himself, "Sorry." This time the word had more emphasis, almost as if he was mocking my previous outburst.
"You're insufferable! Bloody los-"
I stopped talking when he looked at me, his eyes piercing through my very soul. Something was wrong. Yes, Swayam and I were playing this Hot and Cold game with each other, but he had never looked at me this way before. Murderous. Like he just wanted to bite my head off. I knew he had lost his composure.
Almost as if realizing that he had freaked me out, he came back to his original self and looked down. Avoiding eye contact was never Swayam's thing. More like, whenever we were together he made a herculean effort to look me right in the eye and unnerve me.
He said lowly, his voice coming out in a baritone, "Can we start working? Please."
I just huffed and nodded and we started off. A cultural meet was coming up and it was left to us to manage it. Something was just so off about this entire thing, I felt. Swayam didn't speak one unnecessary word, he just looked down the entire time. It was like my presence was like poison to him. He didn't even say my name, that was odd.
After it all got done, he got up and walked out. No bye, no smarmy comments to put me off. Not even just a "Sharon" as an acknowledgement. I couldn't help but feel sidelined, disappointed at his lack of emotions.
I walked out behind him and went straight to my car. I was about to start when I realized that I didn't have the file in my hand. It had all the details about the Meet!
"Shit." I muttered and started walking back to the rehearsal hall.
As I walked down the hall I could hear some light music. It was coming from inside the hall. I went inside and saw him. He was dancing, almost in a trance of a sort.
His movements were so fluid, one could barely notice when he shifted from one move to another. How could I have ever called him a pathetic dancer. Not a fibre in my body thought he was a pathetic dancer.
His movements got faster, more emotional. He would trip if he lost focus for even a second. I began to walk inside, not even realizing what I was doing. And i joined him in his movements, standing behind him, mimicking his every move. His eyes were closed, he was really feeling the music.
Then suddenly he turned around and caught my hand.
Time. Froze.
I saw those brown eyes, confused and smoldering at the same time. We were just recovering from the intensity of the dance. He gently put my hand on his shoulder, pulled me into his strong arms and we danced. I felt complete, no one else could dance with me this way. Like an equal.
This was not the usual gentle Swayam, his eyes weren't pacifying. He danced with the very same emotion and I felt it too. Hurt. Why and how and because of who, I had no idea.
I couldn't look into those eyes, it scared me so much. Almost as if mocking me, he stared me in the face watching my movements.
As the song reached it's end, he pulled me closer for just a second. He closed his eyes and muttered something. Before I could hear it, he let me go.
I stumbled back from the impact and then watched as he got his IPod out of the dock and walked out of the rehearsal hall.
What the HELL?! I wasn't going to just watch. I whipped around, "SWAYAM!"
He turned around to face me, his eyes unreadable and said, "Yeah?"
"WHAT WAS THAT?!"
"We danced."
"I KNOW THAT, YOU FOOL!"
He sighed tiredly, "What do you want from me?"
I was about to answer when I realized I didn't know. I didn't want him to leave me alone, I didn't want him to get this close either. I didn't know. I just looked at him, flustered.
He just looked at me, his eyes angry, yet calm and said, "Make up your mind. Bye."
As he walked out of the corridor I stood rooted to the spot. My day was shit, that's what it was. I had no idea what I wanted from this man. Or maybe I did and I didn't want to face it.
And then, suddenly I knew what I wanted.
I raced behind him and called out his name, "SWAYAM!"
This time he whipped around, looking astounded that I was actually approaching him for the second time.
He looked at me expectantly. I walked forward and looking down I whispered, "Say it."
"Sharon." He whispered, his voice as light as the breeze.
I looked at him and knew I had lost this round. He eyes broke all the barriers I had put up and he left.
As I watched him walk away, I knew why my day was so incomplete. He hadn't even said my name once. I didn't care if were arguing or if I hated him and he thought I was a bitch. I couldn't stand such an emotionless Swayam. But I had brought this upon myself.
I still didn't know what I wanted. But for now, him saying my name, acknowledging my existence was enough.
"Sharon." It just went through my head a million times. I sighed and walked towards my car. Another day was done.
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