Is Arnav capable of loyalty?

Yes, yes women love the bad boys and in the Fan Fics we like imagining Arnav being more rakish (casual encounters, etc) than I frankly think he is portrayed in the show. I have evidence. He says to Di that he has a girlfriend now, so what? It sounds like something new to Di and the family, as if he never had a girlfriend before. La says in her first scene that she met him five months ago, so it is a relatively young relationship too. Both dialogues hint at this being his only attempt at a relationship. Whether he had casual encounters before is a matter of debate. But one thing is sure, it takes a whole lot of effort to make a business successful by the age of 26 and does not leave you a lot of time for relationships.

So I would say Arnav is not as much of a player but we as readers like imagining so. He's just a normal guy more used to getting his way. He indulged in a relationship that he thought he could dominate but soon realized that is not what he wanted as he fell hard for Khushi. This is my interpretation of course. Whether he is a rake or not is not the debate I want to raise here. My question is about reformed rakes as loyal husbands. I have this problem of thinking from too many different angles when wondering about any topic and rakes are top in my mind right now 😆. So...do you think it is possible? Is is a huge trip to win a rake but how about keeping him? Here are some conflicting possibilities I have been thinking about:

1. If said rake had numerous meaningless sexual encounters before, what makes you (generally speaking, the girl he marries) so special that he won't stray? Say he has a few more meaningless encounters after marriage but says he really loves you and with you it is different.

2. Do people really change? Here's another alternative. Why would a serial monogam-er (not talking about rakes here) suddenly became constant for his wife? Yes, love. But what about all these studs (think famous examples Jude Law, Brad Pitt, non-stars too) who stray after love? Clearly, I am having a hard time balancing out how loyalty would work here because he would have to change his attitude toward relationships for the wife. Say the wife was not a serial monogram-er herself in which case I could see more compatibility and understanding. Say she was Khushi and the rake Arnav.

3. Alternate possibility: Rakes sometimes fall hard in love and do stay dedicated, it is not the bad boy who finally settles who strays, but the "nice guy" who looks for a new adventure. Same thing can happen with women too, but given that I am straight woman, I am talking about the men here.

So at the end of the day. Is it all about putting faith in the other person and putting your trust on the line? A rake/bad boy has a lot of incentives typically being charming or good looking to women, so would you personally settle for/with one? Can you trust? These are questions I am wondering about now that I am writing about a rake and Anjali (part of my FF Avenging Angel). No one is making judgments, so please just answer from your own point of view without hesitation. If you have personal stories, even better. 😃


2000th post!
Mary.
Edited by Marybarton - 12 years ago

Can I get some love for my 2000th post please?

Changed title to make it more interesting. Hopefully this makes people respond. 

a big congrats Mary..🥳

Sometimes the most sensible and caring guys would desert you when you are in a tough position and sometimes the ones you would least expect it from would stick around. Yes, if a person is responsible and caring, then it is most likely that the would always stay loyal to you but there are still no guarantees. I think it all depends on what you feel towards the other person and the amount of self control you have over yourself. I mean even un-rakish guys are tempted. They are just not as used to giving into them as a rake is.

Originally posted by: -Huma-

a big congrats Mary..🥳

Sometimes the most sensible and caring guys would desert you when you are in a tough position and sometimes the ones you would least expect it from would stick around. Yes, if a person is responsible and caring, then it is most likely that the would always stay loyal to you but there are still no guarantees. I think it all depends on what you feel towards the other person and the amount of self control you have over yourself. I mean even un-rakish guys are tempted. They are just not as used to giving into them as a rake is.

Thanks Huma. Wow nothing compared to you but it is a lot for me.

So you are saying it can happen with anyone (true!) but a rake is more likely to slip? I can see that.

Firstly congratulations 😊

I think Arnav is capable of loyalty and ofcourse he is not a player; atleast that's what I think... He is dedicated and I think his commitment in a relationship will be as strong as that. As far as in the serial, he is only shown having had relationship with Lavanya and even in that too it didn't look like he was interested. For me it looked as tho he was forced or it was for the society or something; like for the heck of it! I definitely don't believe players cuz I think once a douche is always a douche.
Edited by hazna_11 - 12 years ago

A very interesting topic Mary!!  I guess for me it would be a question that would differentiate if a Rake can be reformed...and can be made to be loyal.  When he was a rake...what was the reason for his wild ways? Was he in a frenzy of relationship because of a fear of commitment?  Was he in these relationships on a mutual understanding between him and his partners that this was a mutually physically gratifying relationship only...no emotional attachment given, and none expected? 

It is possible that many RAKES are PLAYERS, because they are not interested in long term relationships, and don't want the entanglements of a relationship.   BUT it is possible that once they meet the one WOMAN who changes the equation...one that forces him to feel, to want, to possess, to be possessed, then equation changes... and hence they can REFORM, to be the most loyal of lovers. 

I feel that once men (most men) give their heart into a relationship...wholeheartedly, then the majority of them tend to be loyal.

I may be naive...but this is what I feel.

Originally posted by: Marybarton

Thanks Huma. Wow nothing compared to you but it is a lot for me.

So you are saying it can happen with anyone (true!) but a rake is more likely to slip? I can see that.

well the best of us slip up sometimes...we are who we are..I dont think love changes us permanently..it just brings out the best in us...so we can easily make mistakes in a weak moment..

First Congratulations Mary on the 2000th post!

When I was of date-able age, my mom told me something that I find very profound in retrospect. Make sure he loves you more than you can ever love him. Make sure you are the better looking one of the two.

They sound such cliches but I find these eternal truths have helped me find a guy who is faithful and loving. He never was and will never be a rake. I might stray but he is my pillar, he will never. That is the kind of faith and trust I have in him, I trust him more than I can trust myself. Now that is saying something.

Men can reform and how we would all like to be that special woman in a man's life you reforms him with the strength of her love and beauty. Reality - its going to be a tough, heart-breaking, painful and full of drama road. How much of your youth and energy do you want to spend on reforming a guy rather than enjoying things you love to do with a guy who is already on the right track?

If a hot-shot with a string of flings and past broken relationships does not flag a red alert in your mind, then you can rest assure sooner than later you will get a taste of it yourself. This is just reality.

Mills and Boons and All the romance novel genres will have you believe that a rakish guy can be reformed by an extremely innocent, loving and fiesty wife. I say maybe, temporarily. But once you've tasted variety, one is never enough. Sharing this from my experience that was a very close encounter.


Edited by serialjunkie - 12 years ago

Originally posted by: hazna_11

Firstly congratulations 😊

I think Arnav is capable of loyalty and ofcourse he is not a player; atleast that's what I think... He is dedicated and I think his commitment in a relationship will be as strong as that. As far as in the serial, he is only shown having had relationship with Lavanya and even in that too it didn't look like he was interested. For me it looked as tho he was forced or it was for the society or something; like for the heck of it! I definitely don't believe players cuz I think once a douche is always a douche.

I tend to like the alpha males who for the most part also (unfortunately) tend to be rakes. I find myself siding with your opinion. Trust does not come easily, especially if I know that person's background is based on non-commitment.