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We have all been with Gopi thru her difficult days understanding her pain...but today Ahem is also going thru the same pain in a different magnitude...
During last year's Holi when Gopi confessed to Ahem on what he meant to her under the influence of bhaang & latter when she did not remember the next day, all of us were fine with it as the realisation of truth of her act will only cause her pain as she would have felt hurt by hurting her Ahemji !!!
But today When Ahem under the same bhaang ka nasha has expressed his love to his wife & does not remember, all of us are against it...we want him to remember what has happened...but do we know what will the realisation bring, it will devastate him completely !!!
Today's Ahem loves Gopi more than anyone else...her happiness matters to him, she being with him matters to him, her love matters to him. Without her he is lost & she has become his purpose in life !! He respects her dearly & at every given opportunity he takes in her opinion & shares with her what he feels. His life is completely dependent on her & he takes pride in her being there for him always & taking care of him. He enjoys her sweet & quite ways & has started to unwind & enjoy life's pleasures with her !!! The 1st thing in the morning & the 1st thing after he comes back from work & the last thing before he rests for the day, he just wants to see her & be with her !!!
Even in all of this he has not & he is not forcing himself on to her. He values her too much to do that. Instead he is allowing them both to explore each other before he can share his heart's feelings with her.
- But this Holi has changed so many things especially for Ahem. Gopi in her pain has already started to distance herself from him. This is the 1st pain he will undergo...similar to the pain Gopi had to undergo at the start of the marriage as a new bride. She waited for him on their marital bed with dreams & hopes of a future together. He ignored her right under his nose, not only on that special day but also for next few days. She did not know why he was behaving as he did not share his problems with her. She had undergone deep pain at his behaviour unable to reach him & understand him. Today Ahem has the same hopes & dreams of a future with Gopi but her ignoring him will put him thru heart wrenching pain Gopi had undergone during the 1st few weeks of her marriage because he does not know the reason as she has not & will not share it with him on what is hurting her !!!
- Till sometime after their marriage Ahem was atleast cordial with Gopi & respected her but latter became completely withdrawn from her. Gopi did not know what to make out of his behaviour. It did not have a promise for future nor did it help her in understand why he was behaving it that way. Today Gopi still continues her duty as a wife & as DIL ensuring everything is taken care for him. Ahem does not see her smile nor life in her eyes & he is confused. He has been observing that she has deep pain in her eyes & is trying to hide it from him...he saw her tears yesterday when she applied the medicine on his wounds & it hurted him that some where he is the reason for her hurt !!!
- There were so many kalakaari's played on her from the starting of her marriage & Ahem just saw the end & always thought worst about her & abused her in front of his family, in privacy of their room & when ever they were together !!! He never even once asked her why & what happened...Today the same kalakaari's are being played against her, she has silently taken the blame for the mango kalakaari... he knows & trusts her that she is not like that & he would want to help her & become her support. As Gopi shared the reason, he realised what a special person his wife was & any more tears in her eyes will just pinch his heart of pain !!!
- When Gopi's literacy had come out along with the necklace & Ahem took out his anger on her & after that he hated her to the very core , literally abusing her at every opportunity ...when the truth about the holi day would come out, he will hate himself for not having spent wonderful moments with her & not remembering but he will remember the night when he had hurt her the most killing all her hopes when she dressed for him, wating for him with dreams of a future together...the pain he has seen in her eyes then & after that the pain she was undergoin will haunt him...he will hate himself for what he has put her thru !!!
- Ahem though that Gopi was not worthy of him & he has been cheated in life...Gopi had her maaji's support & she could cry her pain out...but Ahem will suffer within himself, hating himself for he will see that he is not worthy of Gopi as she still went about taking care of him even when her heart was breaking !!!
- In the past Gopi always took small opportunities to see a smile on his face...she wanted to come closer to him & tried in many ways but Ahem always wiped out the happiness from her face & told her in no specific terms that he has no ideas of accepting her as his wife. He did not appreciate the small little things she did for him at times because of the love she felt & at times as a thank you gesture...Today Ahem is doing small things to see happiness on her face but with Gopi deciding to maintain her distance from him , though she appreciates the things he does for her, it will not bring her the deep contentment he used to see on her in the past...he will start to question himself on it !!!
As Gopi had undergone the pain, so will Ahem ...atleast Gopi knew Ahem did not like her & did not accept her...but for Ahem, he will be lost not knowing why she was reacting in such a manner !!! It will pain him & he will then realise the heart wrenching pain she had undergone & still not giving up on him & their relationship when all he had given her was hurt !!!!
long post...started few days back...& stopped in between, had time to complete it now...uff...
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