will you lie about our baby jagat?

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tanvismile

@tanvismile

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: tinoo

But I would argue that it is about the acceptance of the family.

In itself, What difference does it make whether Jagya acknowledges her and the child as his wife and his child or not if it is just between the two of them (i.e. J and G)...

she wants his acknowledgement because that will get her the acknowledgement from the family and society.

It is precisely the whole reason she so desperately craves the "marriage" and "legality" tags.

What difference does it make in itself? If the two of them want to have a relationship, then the two of them can have a relationship and judge their relationship for each other on the basis of the depth of their feelings.

The marriage and legality she wants is not to solidify her own relationship with Jagat, but to solidify her relationship in the eyes of society.

it does make a difference ,see she has not got social acceptance ,nor family acceptance is totaly a different matter but here she does expect from jagya to at least say this is our child ,here its not what badi massi is thinking about gauri or baby ,but its about jagya who should be acknowleging thats its his baby infront of world.and it does make a difference ,dint it make any difference to anandi where jagya refused to accept her as his wife infront of his friends?It did ,her world changed upside down from that day.

Edited by tanvismile - 14 years ago

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: tanvismile
[
it does make a difference ,see she has not got social acceptance ,nor family acceptance is totaly a different matter but here she does expect from jagya to at least say this is our child ,here its not what badi massi is thinking about gauri or baby ,but its about jagya who should be acknowleging thats its his baby infront of world.and it does make a difference ,dint it make any difference to anandi where jagya refused to accept her as his wife infront of his friends?It did ,her world changed upside down from that day.

Then, in that case, I think she needs to really wake up and smell the coffee ... and understand that when Jagya/Jagat decide that people no longer fit into his scheme of things or his plan, they become inconveniences whom he feels are burdens and denies their existence... and if what you say is indeed the case, then Gauri has to realize that this slime bag man will conveniently deny Gauri and the baby at any crucial point in the future too. The only way she will be able to get him to acknowledge it will be to drag him to court and to put him thru a DNA test.

And so she needs to really face the truth of Jagat's character RIGHT NOW ... and not continue to see him as an innocent child being seduced by his first wife anandi.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#23

Tanvi --

though you say it is not about family acceptance ... I hope you realize that the reason he doesnt acknowledge the baby and gauri as his child and wife ... is because the singhs dont acknowledge her.

If his family acknowledged her, today he would proudly have announced her to be his wife and the baby to be his child.

😆😆

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hooked

@hooked

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: tinoo
Tanvi --

though you say it is not about family acceptance ... I hope you realize that the reason he doesnt acknowledge the baby and gauri as his child and wife ... is because the singhs dont acknowledge her.

If his family acknowledged her, today he would proudly have announced her to be his wife and the baby to be his child.

😆😆

Exactly !

Jagat /Jagya turns with the tide. In the city acknowledging a child marriage was "not cool" so he lied. When she came to meet in the villlage get-up it was very inconvenient to introduce her around so he lied.

Loving Gauri was fun and living in was easy so he lied about his marital status and his phone calls.

The only thing he was honest about is - telling her that he was not welcome in his house and specially not with his new "wife" as he already had an old one.

So now J is trying to keep a relationship as stretchy n thin as it is with his home and has a married life in the city and he is trying hard to get some teenytiny measure of acceptance from his folks.

But here Ms. GAURI KEEPS BARGING IN ALL GUNS BLAZING AND UNANNOUNCED AND INSULTS EVERYBODY FROM a TO z.

And all J's hard work goes down the drain 😆 ! Overtime - he has come to the realization that it is not convenient to stand up for and defend Gauri as a husband, and he'd rather be a prodigal son than a husband n dad-to-be. Question is - can Gauri see and digest this ?

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#25

and the worst part about this is that he NEVER stands up for her.

Though she lies, submits leave applications, covers for him in a variety of ways, advocates with the deans and the professors for him ... when the shivani operation case happened, he washed his hands off her, and denied knowing her and said "i have no responsibility and I dont want to be involved"... he at the very least could have said "I dont approve of what you did... but I will still stand by you"... he could have made some sort of efforts to advocate for her and say that gauri operated in good faith etc... but no, here too, he denied knowing gauri, and she was the one who had to go and give her own safai before the medical council heads.

I mean this too is a form of acknowledging her. But he didnt do it.

He slipped out from Mumbai despite her saying no... and did so leaving a note. This once again is a form of not acknowledging her ... because he is not acknowledging her feelings or her sentiments and doesnt even bother to reason with her and atleast convince her.

She said no, he didnt feel her no was convenient, so he just decided to do what he wanted to do and gauri and her feelings be damned.

So, at no point does he really acknowledge her ... unless he needs a pretty girl on his arm to eat chaat with.

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tanvismile

@tanvismile

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#26

i think relationships are never perfect ,not nessary that husband would acknowledge everything that his wife does ,look at shivani s case ,jagya dint acknowledge her becoz he dint want her took such risks in future ,yes it was not wrong on his part ,i m nt defending his actions but all i m saying that human are not perfect,most importantly they cannot be judged ,just becoz he dint suport her over doesnt mean he will never suport her ,and these reasons not enough to prove that this human will not even acknowledge his own child in future,she knows her husband nature,his atitude so she might not expect much from him,plus gauri her self has left to jaitser last time without even informing him,but these things are completety different and refusing to acknowledge ur own child is completely different.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#27

see tanvi, i think this is where we differ.

You are looking at specific incidents and saying that one incident may have more gravity than others. I am looking at an overall character trait.

I believe that he has a character trait where he just washes his hands off everything that he doesnt find in alignment with what he wants at that given point in time.

And at this time, he has decided that calling her his wife and the baby his child is inconvenient, in keeping with his overall character trait.

The issue is not whether he is perfect or not... but how long gauri will keep boiling her blood wishing he was different.

I think she needs to come to this bitter realization and decide what she wants to do with it.

a. either she accepts it, and just makes the best of the times that he is with her and does wish to acknowledge her or

b. she rejects him altogether, and decides once and for all that she will not tolerate this denial of her existence anymore especially if it also concerns her child.

This in-between ground of staying on in this relationship and then thinking "i want it to be different, i deserve better, i want it t be different" is really ridiculous.

And you say that she was shocked after coming to Jayetsar that badi masi did not know and that jagya has not told them.

In atleast three phone calls he has referred to her as "his office colleague, his office friend, dr. singh" etc. If she had any sense, she would have realized right then and there that he does not wish to acknowledge her in Jayetsar. If badi masi already knew about her why would he address her as "dr singh" ? He would simply have called her "gauri" and spoken to her at ease, if nothing was there to hide.

Infact, when badi masi called him in Mumbai, and asked him who had picked up the phone he said to her in gauri's ear-shot "she is my hospital colleague". He did not say "she is my wife"...

Right then and there, gauri should have known. What is this big shock she receives when she comes and sits in Jayetsar, and he introduces her as a friend?

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veena80

@veena80

Explorer

Posted: 14 years ago

#28

@hooked. What i was trying to point is..gauri finally gave into having the baby only after shivani told her tht her child can get his/her haq over the singh's property, I was implying that she indeed is a gold digger.This is exactly what i meant.

Edited by veena80 - 14 years ago

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#29

tanvi --

I think the key thing that has kept gauri from realizing Jagat's truth is her pride in her achievements and her looks etc.

She did not think that Jagat's behaviour was a character trait.

She rationalized Jagat's behaviour as something that was anandi-specific, and therefore she thought that since she was so superior to anandi, that it could never happen to her.

By anandi specific, I mean that she thought that Jagat was ashamed of anandi's village belle dress, the fact that she spoke no english etc. and so it was okay for him to disown her in front of friends. Gauri never even conceived that Jagat could be ashamed of her (gauri herself) because in her mind she is modern, and she is well groomed and speaks english, and is dressed in modern clothes.

It is now coming as a big shock that she herself can be someone to be ashamed of when Jagat re-enters his village society. . She has no idea that here he is ashamed of her (gauri) and sees anandi as the ideal wife...so it becomes okay to disown gauri in front of villagers or relatives.

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jhansijhansi

@jhansijhansi

Explorer

Posted: 14 years ago

#30

I am not sure what BV want to show and how will this story end up.., but the current track seems to be really interesting.

G feels proud to call herself a Doctor and does not respect the person who is responsible for her studies instead she hates because he took her haveli bindni post from her, as a child she opted for studies and now she wanted to be called as wife of J..she clearly knows that she would have had only one in her life either being called as J's wife or Doctor.

G and her parents and women who thinks like G should learn a lesson seeing this.and think before marrying a married man and a cunning cheater. She clearly knows that J used to like A as a child and knows about his family who will not accept her as bahoo and believed a person who has cheated her for five years and forgiven him and married him and even became pregnant.., but she hates and blames A..she knows that A is too intelligent she lost her childhood, her studies, and her husband now...she never thought about all these at least for a second before she married J...she should be thought a lesson that a person who can leave a women like A just because she is not to his standards and current lifestyle, can leave G at any time if not for A for any other women when he feels G is not to his standards.

If a women like G and her parents are not thought a lesson then we will have many G's in this society..just get trapped in a cunning man or trap a man and marry him and get pregnant then no one can call their relation as illegal at least for the sake of the kid and everyone will accept them. The women like G will not have any punishment in the law.

At least man like J in this society can be punished if A proceeds legally.

Until women like G and A are there, there will be men like J...neither of them punished J..both are accepting for what he is.

Edited by jhansijhansi - 14 years ago