fan fic plz read

Hi i am new to this forum and i really like this forum....and the warm relationship shared by everyone over here.I hope i too could a part of this sweet forum😊.well i always wanted to write a fan fic but didnt know what and how to write..but now i have managed to write one and want to share with all of..Hope you all would read this and welcome me in this forum and give me ur and suggestions whether i should continue or stop writing..plzzzzzzzzzzguyz this is my first experience at writing fan fics plz give a response .and if its boring lengthy or anything i hope u will bring it to my notice so that i could make the necessary changes....but plz do not forget to respond....plzzzz

Thanks

Here goes on...

DEVJI DADA: The eldest person of goenka house.

HEMRAJ GOENKA: Younger brother of devji dada

KUMUD GOENKA(BAISA):Wife of Hemraj Goenka

MANSEN GOENKA: Son of Hemraj and baisa

Mansen Goenka is a well known industrialist in Mumbai.He hates poor and middle class people .Well his father doesn't agree with him on this point and hates this quality in his son..

SHAKUNTALA:Wife of Manses Goenka..She is a nice kind hearted lady..She also doesn't agree with her husband in his dislike for poor and middle class people…But she never goes against her husband.

They have 4 children:

The youngest one is shruti: Has gone off abroad for studies.

Elder to her Priti: who is a fashion designer and also owns a boutique.

The eldest son is:SURAJ GOENKA: He is the ideal son any parents would want to have. Obedient ,Dutiful, Lovable, Smart, Handsome, Caring. He is very obedient to his father and does anything against him. His father's wish is his command. But there certain things he doesn't agree wid his father but he never brings them out so as to maintain peace in his home..

His Wife:MANASVI: Very Beautiful, confident, strong minded, but at the same time simple, down to earth..These qualities aptly describe manasvi. She is sweet spoken and very homely and that's the reason she is loved by one and all in the family..

Hers and suraj's was a love cum arranged marriage..Both used to study in the same university in London.For suraj although it was love at first sight,he was impressed by all her qualities.But initially he was a bit apprehensive about admitting his love to her since he is a bit shy and reserved in nature but atleast manged to get her friendship..But it was when mansvi's marriage was decided upon he couldn't bear the pain of loosing her and proposed her..Initially mansvi was a bit reluctant but soon realized that she too loved him..And thus their marriage took place.Since mansvi was from a rich and affluent family mansen was more than happy in his sons choice.

Their daughter is Khushi: sweet and loved by everyone especially mansen..She is the apple of his eyes

The other son ARJUN GOENKA: He is the most eligible bachelor after his brother..He is totally different from his brother Suraj.Arjun is charming, handsome, good-looking, has girls swooning to his tunes wherever he goes,a very good businessman as his brother and father,extrovert and an incorrigible flirt..

Arjun is loved by all and is the laadla of his family.He is a bit naughty and gets away wid everything he wants and his all wishes are completed by his father and brother. He is very impulsive,romantic,gets angry very quickly but is a very sweet and kind hearted person.

He is very close to Suraj and gives his much respect. But he is even more close to his bhabhi manasvi whom he treats as elder sister and shares all his secrets wid her first.There's nothing in his mind he could hide to her.

Ok Now this completes the Goenka family…Other characters will be introduced as the story proceeds..

IN HERITAGE HOUSE, its morning 7.30am

Baisa(B): Sab log nashte ki table pe aajayie.Manasvi suraj aur khusi ko bulao..

Manasvi(MV):Baisa aap to jaanti hai naa suraj ko bulane ki koi zarrorat nahi hai..Woh bilkul appne papa jaise punctual hain..Kabhi mujhe der ho sakti hai baisa lekin surajji ko…kabhi nahi..aap bahar jaake dekhiya who apko table par hi milenge, papa ke saath discussion karte huye..

B:sahi kaha tumne.woh bilkul apne papa par gaya hai.

Meanwhile shakuntala enters inside the kitchen:

S:Arrey mansavi baki sab to breakfast ke liye aa gay hain lekin appka laadla arjun kaha hai..Baisa sach kahoo is ladke ko bigadh ke rakh diya hai uske papa aur suraj ne..jaanta hai na ke uske papa kitne punctual hai aur phir bhi roz late..

Manasvi comes and hugs shakuntala from behind..Her head on shakus shoulders

(smilingly )Mama laadla to who aapka bhi ha,bigada to aapne bhi hai…..😉

B: haan shakuntala abhi toh umar hai uski………

S: Baisa aap aura b yeh mansavi bhi..sab uski hi tariff kar rahe hai..na jane kya jadoo chalaye hai aap par

Mv: Yehi to baat hai mere devar ki….😊

S: achcha ab apne pyaare se devar ko jake uthao bhi

Mv: Ji mama abhi gayi aur yun aayi(smiling)

Manasvi goes to arjun's room..

There a guy is seen in the bed . Manasvi goes to wake him up and sees him blabbing out sumthing in his sleep..

A: hey Sanya nahi tum koun ho?..Oh nisha! wow nisha aaj to bahut achchi lag rahi ho!!…Lekin tum to pichle saal states chali gayi thi naa ..achcha mere liye vapas aayi ho,..How chweet! and gives a kiss to pillow…😳😳

Manasvi sees all these and laughs.😆😆Sees a alarm clock on the table.Mansvi takes the alarm clock and keeps it near his ear..Alarm rings and Arjun wakes up and is quite confused for a moment..😕

Then he sees his bhabhi and says :TUM???

Mansvi: huh?

A: Oh I am sorry bhabhi mera matlab ahi aap yahaan ………Night club main kya kar rahi hain..

Then looks around

Mv: Nahi arjunji main night club main nahi hoon nahi aap hain..Hum dono filhal aapke kamre main hain..mujhe as usual aapko jaagane ka aadesh mila hai…aur aap jaldi se niche aayie varna….

A: Oh bhabhi pata hai pata hai…Ye aapka roz ka record hain..sun sun ke bor ho chukka hoon.. Aur aapne mera achcha khaasa sapna bhi todh diya

Mv: Agar itne hi bor hochuke ho..To ek din bhi mere aake uthane se pehle kyun nahi uthte…aur jaha tak baat hai aapke sapno ki to who toh jaaha tak mujhe yaad hai aap roz ek hi sapna dekhte hai..

A; aapse kisne kaha??

Mv:kyun? Janab roz ladkiyon ke to sapne aate aapko..hai na..haan ladkiyaan bldalti zarror hai rozz..

A: (frowning)Bhabhi!!!

Mv:Achccha ab jao aur jaldi tayar ho jao..sab intezar kr rahe hai..

A: sab log aa gaye kya bhabhs..

Mv: hmm sab agaye

Arjun to himself: Aaj to gaya papa mujhe…Then looks at his bhabhi and smiles and says: Bhabhiiii wohh😛

Mv: mujhe pata hai. Main sab kuch sambhaloongi tum bas jaldi aajao..

Gives a little smile and says: Oh bhabhi you are great and the Best.

Saying he goes off to bathroom…

hey ppl!! i know that my fan fic is a bit lenghty in the begnining but other characters will be introduced shortly...but first plz respond whether my fan fic is sumthing i shd continue or stop..

thanks 😊

NICE!!!!!!!!GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! 👏

WELCOME TO THE FORUM AND THE FAN FIC IS REALLY NICE 👏

Guys the next part is a short one...andd thanks sidrooba for responding

Down in the breakfast table..Everyone is waiting in the hall for breakfast its already 8.00 am. Arjun arrives and says :GOOD MORNING !!! Hows the day and….

Everyone stares at arjun and Arjun thinks to himself:
yeh sub log mujhe iss tarah kyun dekh rahe hai as if main arjun goenka nahi balki koi alien khadha hoon.. 😆 😆

S: agaye aap…

Arjun:haan woh ….

Suraj(Su): kaam raha hoga naa raat ko bahut (eating his toast) and looking at manasvi
Kyun manasvi sahi keh raha hoo naa?? Aapke devar to din raat sirf kaam hi karte hain..

Manasvi first not able to say anything,then quickly says that
Nahin toh arjun kal kafi der tak jag raha tha

Arjun looks at manasvi and says slowly : Bhabhi!!!!

Manasvi not looking at Arjun says: Kal to arjun kaafi derse soya tha kyunki uske sar mein bohot dard tha….

Looking at arjun: kyun hai naa devarji?? 😉 😉

Arjun understanding his bhabhi's trick starts acting as if his head is still aching..

Shakuntala runs towards him and mansvi gives a small smile and suraj sees this and mansvi stops smiling.. She knew that suraj has understood about her lie..But she knows that suraj wont say anything… She smiles and suraj too smiles again.. 😳

oh and thanks to mako also... for responding

hey welcum to d forum sia
im sure u'll hv a gr8 time here

and d fan fic is really good

welcome 2 the SF sia, 😊 😊 😃 n good fic. 👏 keep it up. 😊

welcome to the forum sia & very nice ff 👏

Welcome to the forum, sia_lovely! 😊 Nice fanfic....do continue!