Posted:
I did not write these...credit goes to: http://comedy.rajiv.com
* "main tumhaare bachche ki maan banne waali hoon."* The eternal reason for being the victim of anything that can
happen to you in hindi films :" Mai gareeb hoon na , isliye ..."
* A main character in the movie will go to the temple and say :
"Bhagwan mainey tumse aaj tak kuch nahin maanga..."
* Old hindi movie : "Aiye ji sunte ho.. Aap bade woh hein."
* Lover-girl to leaving lover-boy : "Mai tumhare bina nahin jee sakti "
* "Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hein"
* "Rukjao! kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo"
* Judge announcing his decision in filmi court : "Gawaaoon key bayaanat aur saboot ko madde nazar rakhtey
Taz-e-raat-e-hind, dafaa 302 ke tahet , muzrim ko sazaaye maut di jaati hai"
* " Muzrim ko ba-izzat bari kiya jaata hai"
* " Main is Geeta per haath rakhkar yeh saugandh leta hoon ki jo bhi
kahoonga sach kahoonga, aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahoonga."
* "Inspector! Giraftaar karlo issey"
* " Raam Raam kaaka"
* " Jug Jug jiyo beta "
* " Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahin rahe"
* " Kya issi din ke liye tujhe paal pos ke bada kiya tha?"
* Typical farmer ka dialogue :" mainey is zameen ko apne khoon sey seencha hai "
* Hero/heroine after opening their eyes in the hospital : " Main kahan hoon?"
* " Hum jahaan khade hote hein, line wahin sey shuru hoti hai"
* " Mai kahti hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey"
* "Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein"
* A Prem-Chopra-type villian to the heroine/village belle : " In gori gori kalaiyon ko kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai"
* " Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do"
* " Maine tumhe kya samjha, Aur tum kya nikley!"
* doctor : " Ab Sab oopar waale key haath mein hai"
* The doctor to the paitent's near n' dear one : " I'm sorry, hum kuch nahin kar sakey"
* doctor : " Chowbees ghante tak hosh nahin aiya to ... "
* " Agar Maa ka doodh piya hai to saamne aa."
* " Jyaada hoshiayari karne ki koshish maat karna "
* Amitabh in a hajaar movies : " Nahin chhodunga tujhe. Jaan sey maar daaloonga."
* " Bhagwaan pe bharosa rakho. Sab thik ho jaiye ga"
* " Woh ek gandi naali ka keeda hai"
* A heroine's expression of what love does to her : " Mera dil dhak-dhak karta hai "
* " Ajji sunte ho , munna ke pitajee "
* Rich father to son : " Ek phooti kaudi nahin doonga "
* " Zamaane ne thokar laga-laga ke is dil ko paththar bana diya"
* Dharmendra in a hajaar movies : " Kutte! Kamine ! ..." " Yeh Taklooo!"
* Lalita Pawar in a hajaar scenes : " Chudeil! Kide pade tere ..."
* Best way to threaten someone from doing anything against your
wishes : " Agar tumhe maine yeh karne diya, to mera naam ______ nahin" " Tumne yeh kiya, to mujhse bura koi nahin hoga "
* " Woh kutte ki maut marega "
* " Bol! Bol heere kahan chuppa rakhe hai "
* The favoirite emotional blackmail : " Tune yeh kiya to tu mere mara muh dekhegi "
* Inspector Iftekar on a megaphone : " Apne aap ko police ke hawaale kar do. Police ne chaaron taraf
sey tumhe gher liya hai " " Apne hathiyaar phenk do "
* The classic : " Thairo! Yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti !"
* One of the very best : " Mai tere bachche ki maa banne waali hoon
* "Jurm ki duniya ka betaaj badshah ... Kaaliya/Don/whatever "
* Tikku Talsaniya in a hajaar movies " Ouff! Yeh kya ho raha hai "
* Keshto in a million movies " Hi-HEEYAAHH!"
* Shatru a hajaar times " Abbe ChaparGanju! "
* The villian's sidekick : "Boss! Maal pakda gaya "
* "Jo sheeshe ke gharon mein rehne hein, woh doosron pe paththar
nahin phenkte"
* "Hum woh hein jo paththar ko kaanch se tod liya karte hein"
* All filmi chowkidaars : " Shhalaam Shhaab!"
*- The stereotypical announcer : " Bhaiyon aur behnon ..." "
Ladies and Gentelmen ..." - Mehmood, the announcer : " Ladies and Ledas ..."
* " Har kutte ka din aata hai "
* " Mai tumahara aihsaan zindagi bhar nahin bhoolonga"
* " Itnay paise tum kahan sey laiye ?"
* " Bacchhhaaaooo..."
* " Police mere peeche lagi hui hai .."
* " Tum mere liye mar chuke ho "
* " Ghar mein do-do jawaan betiyaan hein"
* " Lo! - Muh meertha karo "
* " Hato naa! Log kya kahenge "
* " Khabardaar jo mujhe haath bhi lagayaa .."
* " Aarre! isse to tez bukhaar hai "
* " Maa tum kitni achi ho"
* " Bhaiyaaa!"
* " Yeh aap kya keh rahen hein, bhai sahab?"
* " Aaj Pinky ka janam din hai"
* " Gurkha, isse dhakke maarke bahar nikaal do "
* " Mai yeh tumhaara aihsaan zindagi bhart nahin bhoolonga"
* "Yeh anyay hai Bhagwan"
* "Driver, gaadi roko"
* " pulice ko tum jaise naujawaanon per naaz hai"
* "Ab tumhari maa hanmare kabze mein hai "
" Agar tum paanch llaakh leker, silver beech ke puraney killey pe
nahin aiye, to mai usse bum se udaa doongaa"
* " Goli se udaa do usse"
* Nirupa roy's favourite " Ek baar mujhe maa kehkar pukaro beta"
* Gracious father taking the blame for his son :
" Yeh khoon maine kiya hai, melod!"
* " Bhaagne ki koshish mat karna"
* " ... mujhe tumhaare is behte hue khoon ki kasam ..."
* " Yeh sauda tumhe bahut mehnga padega"
* Dumb looking hero coming to blind mom :
" Maa, mai first class first pass ho gaya hoon"
* "Beti, tu to paraya dhan hai "
* "Pesh hai duniya ke jaane-maane kalakaar, Miss Renu"
* " Zabaan ko lagaam do .."
* The hindi film unnux : " Aaja re mere raaja "
* On a suhaagraat nite, wife to husband : " Doodh pee lijiya"
* " Seedhi Anguli se ghee nikalne waala nahin"
* " Hume tedi anguli se ghee nikaalna aata hai"
* " Kutte ki dum tedi-ki-tedi hi rehti hai "
* " Bhabhi, tumhare haath ki chai peene ko man kar raha hai "
* Dharmendra : " Chun Chun ke maaroonga, ek-ek ko chun chun ke
maroonga "
* " Tune mere peeth pe chura bhoka hai "* "He bhagwan, meri jaan le le, aur mere beti ki jaan bacha de"* Dh: Gaon vaalon, mein vahi karoonga jo Heer ne Ranjha ke liye kiya tha, Romeo ne Juliet ke liye kiya tha - sosait, sosait, sossaait (suicide).G1: Arre bhai, yeh sossaait kya hota hai?
G2: Arre bhai, jub ungrez marte hain, to usey sossaait kehte hain!!!!* bees saal pehle diwali ki raat ...
happen to you in hindi films :" Mai gareeb hoon na , isliye ..."
* A main character in the movie will go to the temple and say :
"Bhagwan mainey tumse aaj tak kuch nahin maanga..."
* Old hindi movie : "Aiye ji sunte ho.. Aap bade woh hein."
* Lover-girl to leaving lover-boy : "Mai tumhare bina nahin jee sakti "
* "Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hein"
* "Rukjao! kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo"
* Judge announcing his decision in filmi court : "Gawaaoon key bayaanat aur saboot ko madde nazar rakhtey
Taz-e-raat-e-hind, dafaa 302 ke tahet , muzrim ko sazaaye maut di jaati hai"
* " Muzrim ko ba-izzat bari kiya jaata hai"
* " Main is Geeta per haath rakhkar yeh saugandh leta hoon ki jo bhi
kahoonga sach kahoonga, aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahoonga."
* "Inspector! Giraftaar karlo issey"
* " Raam Raam kaaka"
* " Jug Jug jiyo beta "
* " Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahin rahe"
* " Kya issi din ke liye tujhe paal pos ke bada kiya tha?"
* Typical farmer ka dialogue :" mainey is zameen ko apne khoon sey seencha hai "
* Hero/heroine after opening their eyes in the hospital : " Main kahan hoon?"
* " Hum jahaan khade hote hein, line wahin sey shuru hoti hai"
* " Mai kahti hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey"
* "Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein"
* A Prem-Chopra-type villian to the heroine/village belle : " In gori gori kalaiyon ko kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai"
* " Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do"
* " Maine tumhe kya samjha, Aur tum kya nikley!"
* doctor : " Ab Sab oopar waale key haath mein hai"
* The doctor to the paitent's near n' dear one : " I'm sorry, hum kuch nahin kar sakey"
* doctor : " Chowbees ghante tak hosh nahin aiya to ... "
* " Agar Maa ka doodh piya hai to saamne aa."
* " Jyaada hoshiayari karne ki koshish maat karna "
* Amitabh in a hajaar movies : " Nahin chhodunga tujhe. Jaan sey maar daaloonga."
* " Bhagwaan pe bharosa rakho. Sab thik ho jaiye ga"
* " Woh ek gandi naali ka keeda hai"
* A heroine's expression of what love does to her : " Mera dil dhak-dhak karta hai "
* " Ajji sunte ho , munna ke pitajee "
* Rich father to son : " Ek phooti kaudi nahin doonga "
* " Zamaane ne thokar laga-laga ke is dil ko paththar bana diya"
* Dharmendra in a hajaar movies : " Kutte! Kamine ! ..." " Yeh Taklooo!"
* Lalita Pawar in a hajaar scenes : " Chudeil! Kide pade tere ..."
* Best way to threaten someone from doing anything against your
wishes : " Agar tumhe maine yeh karne diya, to mera naam ______ nahin" " Tumne yeh kiya, to mujhse bura koi nahin hoga "
* " Woh kutte ki maut marega "
* " Bol! Bol heere kahan chuppa rakhe hai "
* The favoirite emotional blackmail : " Tune yeh kiya to tu mere mara muh dekhegi "
* Inspector Iftekar on a megaphone : " Apne aap ko police ke hawaale kar do. Police ne chaaron taraf
sey tumhe gher liya hai " " Apne hathiyaar phenk do "
* The classic : " Thairo! Yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti !"
* One of the very best : " Mai tere bachche ki maa banne waali hoon
* "Jurm ki duniya ka betaaj badshah ... Kaaliya/Don/whatever "
* Tikku Talsaniya in a hajaar movies " Ouff! Yeh kya ho raha hai "
* Keshto in a million movies " Hi-HEEYAAHH!"
* Shatru a hajaar times " Abbe ChaparGanju! "
* The villian's sidekick : "Boss! Maal pakda gaya "
* "Jo sheeshe ke gharon mein rehne hein, woh doosron pe paththar
nahin phenkte"
* "Hum woh hein jo paththar ko kaanch se tod liya karte hein"
* All filmi chowkidaars : " Shhalaam Shhaab!"
*- The stereotypical announcer : " Bhaiyon aur behnon ..." "
Ladies and Gentelmen ..." - Mehmood, the announcer : " Ladies and Ledas ..."
* " Har kutte ka din aata hai "
* " Mai tumahara aihsaan zindagi bhar nahin bhoolonga"
* " Itnay paise tum kahan sey laiye ?"
* " Bacchhhaaaooo..."
* " Police mere peeche lagi hui hai .."
* " Tum mere liye mar chuke ho "
* " Ghar mein do-do jawaan betiyaan hein"
* " Lo! - Muh meertha karo "
* " Hato naa! Log kya kahenge "
* " Khabardaar jo mujhe haath bhi lagayaa .."
* " Aarre! isse to tez bukhaar hai "
* " Maa tum kitni achi ho"
* " Bhaiyaaa!"
* " Yeh aap kya keh rahen hein, bhai sahab?"
* " Aaj Pinky ka janam din hai"
* " Gurkha, isse dhakke maarke bahar nikaal do "
* " Mai yeh tumhaara aihsaan zindagi bhart nahin bhoolonga"
* "Yeh anyay hai Bhagwan"
* "Driver, gaadi roko"
* " pulice ko tum jaise naujawaanon per naaz hai"
* "Ab tumhari maa hanmare kabze mein hai "
" Agar tum paanch llaakh leker, silver beech ke puraney killey pe
nahin aiye, to mai usse bum se udaa doongaa"
* " Goli se udaa do usse"
* Nirupa roy's favourite " Ek baar mujhe maa kehkar pukaro beta"
* Gracious father taking the blame for his son :
" Yeh khoon maine kiya hai, melod!"
* " Bhaagne ki koshish mat karna"
* " ... mujhe tumhaare is behte hue khoon ki kasam ..."
* " Yeh sauda tumhe bahut mehnga padega"
* Dumb looking hero coming to blind mom :
" Maa, mai first class first pass ho gaya hoon"
* "Beti, tu to paraya dhan hai "
* "Pesh hai duniya ke jaane-maane kalakaar, Miss Renu"
* " Zabaan ko lagaam do .."
* The hindi film unnux : " Aaja re mere raaja "
* On a suhaagraat nite, wife to husband : " Doodh pee lijiya"
* " Seedhi Anguli se ghee nikalne waala nahin"
* " Hume tedi anguli se ghee nikaalna aata hai"
* " Kutte ki dum tedi-ki-tedi hi rehti hai "
* " Bhabhi, tumhare haath ki chai peene ko man kar raha hai "
* Dharmendra : " Chun Chun ke maaroonga, ek-ek ko chun chun ke
maroonga "
* " Tune mere peeth pe chura bhoka hai "* "He bhagwan, meri jaan le le, aur mere beti ki jaan bacha de"* Dh: Gaon vaalon, mein vahi karoonga jo Heer ne Ranjha ke liye kiya tha, Romeo ne Juliet ke liye kiya tha - sosait, sosait, sossaait (suicide).G1: Arre bhai, yeh sossaait kya hota hai?
G2: Arre bhai, jub ungrez marte hain, to usey sossaait kehte hain!!!!* bees saal pehle diwali ki raat ...
* Aaare bhagwaan ke liye chhod doon to mai kya karoon?
* Tum jis thali me khate ho, usi me ched karte ho.
* prasaad khao Betaa?
* Wo jab tak ghar na aaye, main khana nahin khaoongi.
* Aaj Karwa choud hai.
* Jaaneman, zara ghunghat to hataao ?
* kaan khol kar sun lo ...
* tum akele nahin ho, main jo tumhare saat hoon* Bhai saheb, yeh dono saath college mein pad tey hain.
* Rukjao! kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo
* Gawaaoon key bayaanat aur saboot ko madde nazar rakhtey huey...
* Bataao Heere kahan hai ?
* Kya tum mere bachpan ke bichde bhai ho ?
* Ab yeh natak band karo.
* Tum mujhse kitna pyar kar te ho ?
* Main abhi kunwari hoon.
* Ahsaan Faraamosh !!
* Maa, main ab dekh sakta hoon.
* Tumhe yaad hai wo toofani raat ?
* Mujhe kuch yaad nahi aa raha hai.* Pati parmeshwar hota hai.
* Yeh baraat ab wapas jayegi.
Ufff Yeh Love Hai Mushkil
Jhanak
Bigg Boss 19
Bade Achche Lagte Hain Naya Season
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