I didn't start watching SNS till around june of 2010. So I never really knew Ahem's love for Anita. I went back to the old episodes to get a feel for all the characters and I tried to see if Anita and he were really in love.
I came to this conclusion:
Ahem is used to doing what his mom wants him to do. He really has never had to make any decisions in his life. So when Anita and he started to hang out she must have seen his weakness and made him feel they are in love. I do feel Anita loved him but he definitely did not love Anita. You could see it when Anita came to his engagement. She was in sincere pain at the break up and he was just sad because he thought he wanted her and he lost her. Any person would defend his love even a little bit. But I didn't see Ahem do it.
Enter Gopi. She was like a breath of fresh air. She never demanded or insulted or even told him what to do. In fact she did everything like the way he wanted. He was not used to it. And with the help of his cunning sister and his mom's attitude at the time I feel he started to resent Gopi. And then the truth of her being uneducated came out and really threw him for a loop. He was after all a proud man. To him education and status meant everything. Because that is what his mom had embedded in him all his life. He felt totally ruined to have to spend the rest of his life with her.
And our Gopi being who she is, really started to open his eyes to all sorts of possibilities. He never knew what he was missing till he started to see life thru Gopi's eyes. And also he slowly started to realize that Gopi being uneducated was not her fault but rather someones else's fault. He also realized Gopi is smart and bright and really can do more things than what he gave her credit for. He is so stubborn that he would probably never have even explored his feelings for her, but fate stepped in and when he almost lost her late last year, he realized what she meant to him and how much she had already become a part of his life.
Our Ahem today is very confident to a point of making his own decisions and able to tell his mom off if needed. He still loves and respects his mom, but if she were to make him do something he didn't want to do...this time he was going to let himself be heard. And if he really let himself try he would be able to tell his mom off without offending her and ruining their relationship. Our Gopi is the reason our Ahem has progressed so much as far as his emotions are concerned...
Thats my take...
