A/N: Terribly sorry for the inordinate delay with this update ladies - but if it makes up at all, I sacrificed lunch today to sit down and do this from scratch, and in a go. I'm not going to try and mull over the proofing, because then I will find n reasons to change n other things about it. Excuse any glaring errors please.
Also, I uploaded a merged audio for this part on my YT account, which you should totally play in the BG on repeat while reading.
Jzee first of all terrible Sorry for my late reply.Although read it way earlier but I wanted to make a bada wala comment on your beautiful piece coz this happens to be your best till date barring that kaledioscope one👍🏼.Oh coming to the music piece👏.SPEECHLESS ! APT AND PERFECT FOR THIS PIECE.I lubb the slow violen chords slightly melancholic expressing longing and gloom ,then finally reaching the crescendo slowly and then ending in a beautiful Piano note.Just in perfect tandem and symphony with the mood of this part.Beginning with softer Kesar's doubt,peaking with his fight with the inner and outer darkness and then the pinnacle with his utterance of Gulaal which always was a guiding lamp for him whenever he walked in the feet of erring.Perfect ! and then the ending with the piano note which marked his "Acceptance" of his inner darkness and finally his conquest spreading light in his room and heart.Beautiful.The MUSIC SELECTION could never have been better👏EEE Look at my bak bak but I am in mood today😆
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"' swoops just in time to his remembered tree.
At most he thinks or twitters softly, 'Safe!
Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see - into the future.Let what will be, be'"
- Robert Frost
Ok Jzee These lines are I guess from the poem Acceptance right! Guess I read it long time ago* needs to pop Memory boosting pills now*Not a Robert frost fan coz my pidda brain cannot easily comprehend what he tries to say * scratches head *.I still remember my first Robert Frost poem in high school-"Mending Walls" where my english teacher was literally in tears trying to make me understand -"Good fences make good neighbours but still I was not able to get it😆.But Yes I guess he is one great symbolic writer .Though I love this Acceptance.Much easier for me to understand.Great lines and so so apt for this piece.
Acceptance ~ Robert Frost
When the spent sun throws up its rays on cloud
And goes down burning into the gulf below,
No voice in nature is heard to cry aloud
At what has happened. Birds, at least must know
It is the change to darkness in the sky.
Murmuring something quiet in her breast,
One bird begins to close a faded eye;
Or overtaken too far from his nest,
Hurrying low above the grove, some waif
Swoops just in time to his remembered tree.
At most he thinks or twitters softly, 'Safe!
Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see
Let what will be, be'"-Great theme👏
Now the night can embrace darkness for all. Let the night be too dark for everyone to see what is in store for the future. Let whatever the future holds be whatever it will be.
Ahhh beautiful Jzee👏.I just so love the lines you used here.👏I love the allusion here.Accept the present as it is as no one knows what the future holds.Let the night be too dark for me to see and let what will be alludes to the image of resignation and an acceptance of the present as it may be coz the fear of the unknown can only give more worries .
Correct me if I am wrong as I am not good with these .😕
The resignation * read a happy and willing one* and the acceptance of his inner darkness being the root cause of his miseries is so fitting with the lines.👏
Usually at such occasions, someone else would bring them for him before he could be inconvenienced. Usually, that someone was her. On better days, he would slight her gesture with a piercing look of scorn. There were the less than better days when he would add a hurtful remark in effect. Secretly, he was aware that his dark obsession to draw reactions from her was more masochistic than sadistic ' but it hadn't stopped him from indulging in the mean trifles all this time...
Well well my fav bit.He himself knew that what pain his taunts inflicted on Gulaal but yet he would really not budge trying to hurt her.
Kesar shook his head a little vehemently, as if to physically shake off a remorse that ran deep. Trying to justify means to an end - when the latter had begun to seem like such disillusionment - was a pursuit as futile as chasing one's own shadow.
Wonderfully put Jzee.The sadisstic or masochistic pleasure which he was supposed to derive from tormenting Gulaal seemed so futile Just like chasing one's shadow as he could never really get rid of the burden of guilt which came as a package with his tortures.No matter how much he tried to justify his behaviour ,but in the end he knew he was wrong.He was supposed to derive pleasure from his masochistic ways but instead he only gained more pain
It played like a grainy film of old captures. A little boy scared of the dark. So scared, that his fear rendered him rather paralytic of thought or action; So scared, that he sat cowering, unmoving in a spot... waiting. Waiting for rescue. Waiting for light. Waiting for her.
Jzee brilliant as I could literally imagine the sequence like an old grainy movie picture.The writing was that impactful👏
Come she had. And with her had come the light. Not as a shield between the demons and him. But as his courage to face them, fight them, fend for himself.
Her name had evoked a belief in him, a belief that helped him confront his fears and realize that the demons were entirely make believe and inside his head. That letting them go, was as simple as letting them go.
Ahh such a great show Jzee.Indeed Gulaal had come to him with her light.Not as a barrier between Kesar and his fears but she really wanted to give him that strenght to fight his own battle and finally emerge as a winner
@bold..It really appears to be simple for Gulaal but for a complex person like Kesar it required tremendous strength and courage ,which who better than Gulaal infused in him-The strength to face the demons-both inside and outside his head.
Currently, Kesar looked at the physical darkness surrounding him, that hadn't haunted him since that revelation of truth. She had taught him how to overcome it. But then she had crossed sides, merged with the darkness herself. Become a part of what she had taught him to fight. Compelling him to fight her. Not caring, that his precious lesson to fight the dark had involved having her on his side. Not caring thatshe was his weapon to fight the demons. How could he fight unarmed? Much less fight her?!
Wow that is absolutely a brilliant thought .How can he summon up the courage to fight against the one who herself taught him to stand against his fears and darkness.Isn't it terrible that the one who was his strength finally changed sides and herself merged with the darkness which had always made him afraid.Even if she is the darkness but he still is not able to raise arms against her .Ahhh the unconditional worship and love * big sigh*
The outer darkness mocked him now. At his superficial conquest years ago, for he had been double crossed into believing he had won over it, when all the time it had continued to thrive inside of him. Feeding on his doubts and in turn nurturing them back. An antithetical actualization of symbiosis, if ever there was one!
You seem to lubb this word Jzee 😛But it is so beautifully written He had finally overcome his fears from the physical darkness surrounding him,but what about the deep dark bitter facts and doubts that had so fed on his mind till now.Darkness fed on his doubts and in turn nurtured them .This is so amazing Jzee.I read these lines so many times .What a perfect use of the line in green👏
His true fear, then and now, was an unknown, stemmed from an unknown, and threatened him of an unknown.
This is again my favourate coz what he feared the most was a whole pandora's box that will open if he gets his answers from Gulaal and in turn further alienate him from her.Ahh Poor Kesar his fear arose from the unknown or better say half know truths and he was really scared to unleash his darkness in front of her only because he might end up losing her👏
And just like that, an obscure fog of a decade begun to lift. Comprehension of the irony dawned upon Kesar. There was nothing like an outer darkness ' it was, and had always been within. Fears and facts were self cultivated entities, based entirely on hisperception. It was not what he saw or heard, but the way he chose to see or hear, that changed everything.
A dark room could be home to unthinkable, unnamed horrors. Or a dark room could be just like any other room as long as you did not allow its emptiness and darkness to grow upon you for the worse. He had discovered that truth with her help a decade ago ' and it had banished his fears as unfounded forever.
Could a dark doubt not meet a similar fate?
A dark doubt could become a dark truth. Perhaps. But a dark doubt could also just turn out to be like any other doubt ' dark, and empty, and baseless. He only had to make sure he didn't let it grow upon himself... for the worse.
"Gulaal..." he whispered, like he had all those years ago, "Gulaal... Gulaal... Gulaal!"
Exuberance took over him just like it had the last time ' and suddenly he could not wait to rush to her. Tell her he had won. Again, and truly this time. That she had helped him do it, like before. That he knew now, she was on his side, had always been. That it was his absolute truth, the only one he believed, and nothing else mattered, never would.The lights in his room suddenly flickered back to life. Kesar smiled like he had not in ten long years. "Gulaal," he spoke again, louder than a whisper this time, like it was a celebration chant, like the light was going to carry his message to her, let her know that he was reaching back to her ' only a stone's throw away!
***
Well Now what should I say about the last part.Briiliant ! the symbolic conquer on the outer darkness using her name which always was a guiding lamp for him,his simultaneous letting go of the inner darkness by rekindling the flame of trust in the name of Gulaal is way beyond my praise. think I am too naive to comment on this Brilliant piece.It is just SUPERB! JZee Hats of fto all the symbolism,imagery used.I am still in Awe👏
[Will post the new scenes I uploaded to my account on the thread for GK scenes as well.]
ps: There is a chance (only a chance) that I will do Gulaal's POV on this same piece. Like write down the same scene(s) from her side. Only because the original second part of this piece which I lost in my laptop shifting had been quite different from this finally posted version, and had dealt partly with Gulaal too. I don't want to entirely abandon her line of thought - but I also have a pretty sucking schedule this month. So it depends on the right momentum in the right moment to sit at it =)
Now I am waiting for that bit.When are you going to update Lazy birdie🤗
And now, do not forget to read and review please! Will look forward to everyone's take!
xx
JZee
Read and reviewed Jzee .That was one helluva piece.It was just superb mindblowing and brilliant👏No wonder I am your craziest pankha *bows and waves and throws flying kisses*😳
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