A Stone's Throw Away - *complete* Pg 14 - 02/01

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without-fathom

@without-fathom

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#111

Originally posted by: SongsOf_Silence
This.. this is perfect!! * humongous grin on face* i'll be back! very soon!

edited:

oh oh can the next update wait till tomorrow? its 3 in the morning here and my brain's sorta fuzzy and um F.r.i.e.n.d.s is waiting for me 😆 i'll be back tomorrow pakka!

Will look forward to reading your comments when you get to it Hiba - and I wont update the next part till I'm sort of sure most of you have read it - cause like I said, it's better read in breaks. 😆

Originally posted by: minizz
Jzee,This is to let you know that I have finished reading but my comments will be slightly late as I will be able to post it only after some time.
So please do post the next part.I will comment on both together😃
Thia was brilliant👏detailed comments later😊

Mini - 🤗 I like to think you enjoyed the part but I will wait up the comment *sheepish* cause it really helps me see where the mind of the reader is going about the track. Just so you know, I don't think I'm updating before tomorrow - so take your time till then =)

The following 8 member(s) liked the above post:enchanted23, sauris, alanta, nneeiill, MR21, minizz, SongsOf_Silence, manzilmukul,

^^ Thank you for the responsible attendance marking ladies 🤗 - now do the likes imply you've read the chapter, or simply been here stalking so far?! 🤔 😆

Edited by JZephyr - 13 years ago

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minizz

@minizz

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#112

Jzee,This was absolutely brilliant.Kesar and Gulaal came to life for me in this one especially Kesar.I could totally imagine Neil acting this out.The anger and the disappointment-I can almost picture it in my mind's eye due to your beautiful and detailed description of expressions and emotions.I have always loved GK angst and so I enjoyed this one.You understand the characters so well.My fav portion in this whole piece is when Gulaal is about to leave the room and Kesar is disappointed that she has given up so easily.That is so Kesar...I mean of course he wanted to hurt Gulaal(yeah right-Kesar bacha you want to hurt her now but later on one aansoo ki boondh from her eyes and you will run around trying to find ways to make her happy😳),wanted to stay away from her yet at the same time he wanted her to fight for him(her Kesar),for their bond and to never give up that haq she had on him.That's what is so special about their bond na-that haq-how much ever Gulaal tries to deny, she always felt that haq on him and Kesar tho was khullam khulla about his haq(oh how I love to repeat that word)My words don't do justice to what you have written but I loved and enjoyed every moment of it.I could picture Neil and Manasi in this scene and it felt so good.Kesar lifting up the scattered clothes and then his bout of temper-wow that was so well written.Kesar's reaction to Talli waking him up was wonderful-the mixture of disappointment and relief awww,again totally Kesar.His pondside venting-aahhh ,he never got any answers na,bechara bacha.Jzee,I so wanted to see Kesar's reaction if Gulal had stayed away from him and thank you so much for that wonderful scene.I had wanted to see this on the show but they never touched upon it fully.Hopefully we will get to see more of it in the next update.I loved the line He was Kesar and she was Gulaal.He was her Kesar and she was his Gulaal.A simple line but for us GK fans it's so full of meaning and emotions.I loved it Jzee.see now I have posted my comment.So you have to end the torture and post the next update😃

Hope you could make sense of my confusing comment😕😆

edit

forgot to mention-lovely song.I enjoyed it a lot😊

Edited by minizz - 13 years ago

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MR21

@MR21

Sparkler

Posted: 13 years ago

#113

Originally posted by: JZephyr

^^ Thank you for the responsible attendance marking ladies 🤗 - now do the likes imply you've read the chapter, or simply been here stalking so far?! 🤔 😆

JZee 🤗...well I am not a stalker and I don't want to take that name which you officially gave to piu 😆

I already read the chapter a couple of times now 😃...but I am in office 😭...so cant comment now...will try do it some time around late night today or early morning hours tomorrow (IST) as I have to still write the updates for today's EDT aswell 🤔...hmm...lots of work to do...so do bare with my late comments this time...

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without-fathom

@without-fathom

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#114

Originally posted by: MR21

JZee 🤗...well I am not a stalker and I don't want to take that name which you officially gave to piu 😆
I already read the chapter a couple of times now 😃...but I am in office 😭...so cant comment now...will try do it some time around late night today or early morning hours tomorrow (IST) as I have to still write the updates for today's EDT aswell 🤔...hmm...lots of work to do...so do bare with my late comments this time...

Kay then, we're reserving the 'stalker' status for Piyu exclusively 😆 I only wanted to know if the likes translated to has been read for the record...

And thank you for dropping by a quick note Ramya 🤗 - I'll wait for your long comment after you can get work off your back, and the updates too. No hurry - like I told Mini, I will be updating sometime tomorrow mostly =)

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without-fathom

@without-fathom

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#115

Originally posted by: minizz

Jzee,This was absolutely brilliant.Kesar and Gulaal came to life for me in this one especially Kesar.I could totally imagine Neil acting this out.The anger and the disappointment-I can almost picture it in my mind's eye due to your beautiful and detailed description of expressions and emotions.I have always loved GK angst and so I enjoyed this one.You understand the characters so well.My fav portion in this whole piece is when Gulaal is about to leave the room and Kesar is disappointed that she has given up so easily.That is so Kesar...I mean of course he wanted to hurt Gulaal(yeah right-Kesar bacha you want to hurt her now but later on one aansoo ki boondh from her eyes and you will run around trying to find ways to make her happy😳),wanted to stay away from her yet at the same time he wanted her to fight for him(her Kesar),for their bond and to never give up that haq she had on him.That's what is so special about their bond na-that haq-how much ever Gulaal tries to deny, she always felt that haq on him and Kesar tho was khullam khulla about his haq(oh how I love to repeat that word)My words don't do justice to what you have written but I loved and enjoyed every moment of it.I could picture Neil and Manasi in this scene and it felt so good.Kesar lifting up the scattered clothes and then his bout of temper-wow that was so well written.Kesar's reaction to Talli waking him up was wonderful-the mixture of disappointment and relief awww,again totally Kesar.His pondside venting-aahhh ,he never got any answers na,bechara bacha.Jzee,I so wanted to see Kesar's reaction if Gulal had stayed away from him and thank you so much for that wonderful scene.I had wanted to see this on the show but they never touched upon it fully.Hopefully we will get to see more of it in the next update.I loved the line He was Kesar and she was Gulaal.He was her Kesar and she was his Gulaal.A simple line but for us GK fans it's so full of meaning and emotions.I loved it Jzee.see now I have posted my comment.So you have to end the torture and post the next update😃
Hope you could make sense of my confusing comment😕😆

edit
forgot to mention-lovely song.I enjoyed it a lot😊

@bold and saffron (☺️) - Mini, exactly! The paradox in Kesar's character was about the only constant in his character evolution. He hated her, and then he hated hating her. First he had go out of his way to hurt and defeat her, then he had to bear the whole queasy guilt of having done it. One would think he'd learn there was no gain in paining someone who was so much a part of his own substance. But Kesar always had a classic masochistic streak about himself - when he wanted to hurt her, he was hurting himself. When he was trying to be her support system, he was still hurting himself. And in this first chapter I was working on the first trait - the hurting her, hurts him. The whole defiance and demand of expecting her to stop tailing and patronizing him, and then feeling devastated by the loss of her attention! - It's like that thing he tells her once - mere kehne se kya hota hai. tu bhi to usi zindagi ka hissa hai...

@bold and green - Aww thank you so much Mini 🤗 You're wonderful to say that! And me too! Especially in those early post leap episodes when Kesar was being such an insufferable jackass, I kept wanting Gulaal would comply with his keeping distance demand so he would realize what exactly he was asking her! Then again, this was a guy who had survived a self imposed exile and solidarity for a decade. So it was obvious he would think he could deal with it the same now. He didn't count the added onus of living under the same roof as her, and pretending like they didn't exist for each other.

I hope the next chapter lives upto the hype 😳 Will update tomorrow for sure! [I'm done with it like I said, but I have a redundant habit of going back to things and changing those last minute n things about them for no reason except that its a painful habit 😆 ]

Thanks a bunch for the lovely words again 🤗

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sauris

@sauris

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#116

Jzee i hv read the chapter 3times over & i hav no words as u have written it so brilliantly,anyways we all know how well you write,ialways like to read whatever u write let it be a page or a line.waiting for the update

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SongsOf_Silence

@SongsOf_Silence

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#117

Originally posted by: JZephyr

Will look forward to reading your comments when you get to it Hiba - and I wont update the next part till I'm sort of sure most of you have read it - cause like I said, it's better read in breaks. 😆

hey! 🤗Firstly thank you so much for the pm! I am so happy to come across this thread of yours! I read some of your writings, will read the rest later when i have more time on my hands ... the replies are very much due on all of them... so will be back with those. Coming to your latest update.. That was a beautiful piece of writing Jzee... I am in awe of it.. literally... will post a long analyiss today only hopefully and if i am not able to do so then it would get a little delayed, till monday because I have a paper that day and I haven't started yet so freaking out now 😆 So that would take some time... Thankfully its the last one and then i'll be free to come here and post.. I was going to reply now only but have to go out.. will try my best to reply at night because i really do want to post before the next update's up take care! will reply to your pm on monday as well..

Edited by SongsOf_Silence - 13 years ago

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EXOL

@EXOL

Trailblazer

+ 7

Posted: 13 years ago

#118

hi Jzee,

my "like" means I have read it...am also official stalker of ur thread :)

u write so beautifully and whenever i read ur scenes... i kind of donno how to reply ...coz u r so good at it...

really loved the whole scene... u just extracted his character in tis one...whenever i read ur scenes...i get some new knowledge abt kesar...i think this character trait exist in everyone...where we all want to get the attention from the one whom we love and in doing so we might hurt them and still in return we want their attention...here kesar is going through all those mixed emotions...and the main reason of his pain was he himself dint knew the unconscious love for Gulaal...in the show there were not much self talks from kesar...but here u have just intruded into kesar's mind...wow brilliant...just loved it...

my fav scene wud be..when he is waiting for her to react ...very touching...

eagerly waiting for the update...

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MR21

@MR21

Sparkler

Posted: 13 years ago

#119

JZee 🤗...well wanted to inform you that your previous write ups are excellent 😃... You are such a brilliant writer 👏👏👏...I was a silent reader back then...

The song you linked in the post was so apt for kesar and gulaal 😳

Now...directly coming to the chapter...what to say ...I am just speechless after reading it...As I already said, I read this many times now n I don't feel bored at all...excellent portrayal of kesar and gulaal..especially kesar...I just loved the way you use all the scenes that we got in the show in the initial episodes of post-leap when kesar tried to hurt her n in turn hurt himself...

Gulaal doing all those works of kesar even though he tried to convey her that he dont want her to do anything for him is actually his gulaal who will never let go of her responsibility towards him even though he is showing his rude attitude towards her...his determination to hurt her at any cost made him to take that step to ruin all her work that she did for him...

Her reaction to his rude behavior and her look seeking her answers and the look that questions him where is her kesar...so how can he look her as if he continues, he will break that showcase of his anger towards her...though he did it as if showing his attitude to her but its his way to get off from her stare...

His wish for her to look back n come and ask him the reasons is so kesarish...his anger when he see her resignation...this is the actual kesar na 😳

Loved how he felt relief and disappointment when its not gulaal the next morning...trying hard not to see her in the house and also trying hard not to think about her at the work...will he be able to do that...so he has to go back to his refuge...and trying not to meet her when he returns too...but whats the use she is always virtually present in his mind n heart 😳

His realization that even gulaal may be trying to do the same...avoid him...as he wished...but can he accept it...no..he cant...how can she avoid him...even though he was rude towards her...even though he wishes her to be away from him..even though he dont leave a chance to hurt her...but his problem is how can she do this to him now...after the last night's encounter..this is not the first time that they are into this confrontations...she not even did this in the last 10 years when he rejected to meet her...how can she do this to her kesar being his gulaal...

Wow JZee 👍🏼...its an amazing post...waiting for the second chapter 😍...so do update soon...

Edit:

Sorry for the length and my blabbering..not sure what I have written 😕...started it writing some 4 hours back...but completed now as I cant avoid the distractions today...started up to write some thing but ended up writing this...now I cant even re-write/modify it...its will be a very hectic day for me today though being a week end...But had to reply now as I may not be able to reply today and tomorrow being a sunday, I can only come online evening on that day...So I may not be able to reply for the next chapter early...See how this show hooked me that I am posting this reply though its my Birthday today...How much I miss this show...

Edited by MR21 - 13 years ago

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without-fathom

@without-fathom

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#120

Everyone - like I said somewhere else, i'm moving files and date from my old laptop, the office desktop, and another system back home, to a new one ... I messed up some transfer earlier today and can't find some files - including... erm, the second chapter to the current SS. Need to go back to campus and check on the desktop again, I'm almost sure I have a copy there.

Please bear with the delay? I'll upload later this evening (late night IST) or max by tomorrow morning.

ps: Will also reply to comments in a while - but until thank you for the wonderful feedback all of you 🤗 I loved reading everyone's takes on the first chapter - and especially that mostly everyone pointed out their favorite bits! Thank you again! ☺️