Posted:
"Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy...Anger...tears...laughter. Its when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it."
She was not there as he had expected as always. She had served him with love, care and patience without failing once. His temperament had always been moody and aggressive. But slowly she tamed him with her vast reservoir of patience, just opposite to his own and made him a gentle person as well.
Just sometime ago in his office, he was so peaceful and calm and as soon he came back home and got to know her absence, his composed behaviour went for a toss. And was replaced with the inner turmoil of his helplessness at the control of the present situation.
He was in the same room, same place, everything was just the same. There was not much difference in anything but he wasn't simply happy being there alone. He could continue his work just as he always did but his mind was just not working. He was there physically but all his sense of reasoning and thinking had come to a standstill. He could not concentrate on work because his heart as well as mind was preoccupied somewhere else...
Her smile and presence would have relaxed him and filled him with energy to work again but today her not being there did just the opposite! He forgot everything that he was supposed to do and just wanted her there. He was missing her very badly. Past two days had been tough on him and he had hardly seen or hear her voice. And he was finding solace in what he knows the best and the easiest thing to do...to vent all of this thro' his anger.
He could have done his work effortlessly as he did always when she was there...not a single day had he faced such issues or created this mess, but today he did what she used to do in anxiety. She used to get anxious and nervous seeing him, and to please him in the past she ended up complexing the things. Today, he did just that, ...he didnt know what he was doing...none of his actions were under his control...he was thinking else and doing something else. And whether it was her mom or meethi doing chores for him, he was just not happy and satisfied or grateful for it.
He had come home thinking that he would tell her of the Kanhaji's idol and see her happiness...for her happiness is his own now. He loved his mom and in the past did everything keeping her mom in mind. And now he was doing everything keeping her in mind.
He loves her, wants her and needs to be with her. But he has never said it in words. He is a man of few words. Their relation has seen the worst circumstances. And most of them given by him only. So, he's aware of that he's hurt her and kept her at distance. But now, as his love and dependence on her has grown by leaps and bounds, he's feeling helpless. He doesn't know how to tell all this to her or to even admit his love to himself.
"He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began" Leo Tolstoy.
Her absence has brought him in the first stage of realization of love. And he's trying to reason out that he needs her there only to attend to his requirements and not for something else. He muttered to himself that if she would have been there she would have managed everything, yeah she would indeed have not only managed everything but him also and that too effortlessly, and that was what he wanted. This was clearly evident when he heard her voice on the phone, he seemed so relaxed and pleased as if he was finally home. So how much more time does he need to break the barriers and let the love flow...? For he's unaware of the fact that its equally difficult to control love as it is to anger!
Anupamaa
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Fan Fictions
